by Katie Cross
“Of course,” I whispered.
His hold on me tightened. My temple pressed to his jaw. Could he feel my heartbeat? Did he sense how breathless this made me?
“There’s something I wanted to tell you tonight,” he said.
His voice turned down slightly. With the music still blaring around us, it was almost imperceptible. I thought I imagined it. But then his palm turned clammy against mine.
“What’s that?” I asked. My voice was a rasp, but he didn’t seem to notice. The slow song shuffled into another one.
“I, uh, received some news earlier today. Good news, but surprising. Maybe not really news. More of a confirmed decision?”
He became a rigid board around me as he rambled around a blind topic. I blinked, fuzzy with the sense of impending doom. Of everything about to change. Of the world sliding away from me like a mudflow. I didn’t even have to speak. He’d paused for a beat, then plowed forward before I could tell him to just spit it out already.
“I enlisted, Ellie. I’ve joined the Marines. I leave for San Diego in two weeks. Two days after I graduate.”
We were too close together for me to see him, but I didn’t need to. The steadiness of his voice, slightly hushed around the edges, let me know he was scared. Scared of what I’d say. How I’d react. We stopped dancing somewhere near the edge of the gymnasium, not far from a bright green EXIT sign.
I’ve joined the Marines.
It echoed through my mind with undulations. For half a breath, I almost laughed. Told him that it was a funny joke and the timing was poor but I could tell by the rigid way he held me in his arms—almost like he didn’t want to see my face—told me this wasn’t a joke.
He had joined the Marines.
“What?” I heard myself say.
“Ellie, let me explain before you run off, okay? It’s . . . it’s the money. I can’t afford to go to college, even if I stay home for six months and work and save it all. The scholarship I was hoping for didn’t come through.”
While he continued to explain, the words filtered through my mind. GI Bill and no stress about finances now and we’ll be okay vaguely occurred to me. My mind narrowed into a fuzzy tunnel of thoughts that all revolved around one tiny phrase. It whispered through my thoughts in Mama’s voice.
They always leave.
Heart thumping, I pulled away. A panicked expression filled his face, but I didn’t look right at him.
“I-I need to go.”
Before he could protest, I headed toward the glowing sign and pushed through the heavy doors. It spilled me into the parking lot, and the shock of cool air from late spring shocked me out of the tunnel. Out of the questions.
Out of disbelief.
While I stumbled toward the truck, the door slammed open against the wall behind me, then wheezed closed again. Footsteps ran to me.
“Ellie!”
He reached for me, but I moved my arm too fast. Livid, I whirled around to face him. This time, I looked him right in the eyes.
“How long have you had this planned?”
He faltered for only a moment. “Since last summer.”
“Last summer?” I cried. “That’s over a year.”
Uneasy now, he nodded.
“Last summer is when we started talking about going to the state university together. When we toured it together. Do you remember that? Do you remember us discussing plans and talking this out and you agreeing?”
He shifted. “Ellie—”
But I plowed over his plea, too hot to stop now. “Did you know then that you wanted to go to the Marines?”
“I don’t want to Ellie. I just don’t have a choice.”
“Did you know?” I asked again, my voice expanding. His jaw became rigid and taut as he stared at me, so gorgeous in the low light that it made my heartache. Finally, he looked at the ground and nodded. His voice was low when he whispered, “Yes.”
“Yes, you’ve been lying to me for a year?”
His nostrils flared. “Yes, but—”
He stopped on his own this time. When he finally set his eyes back on mine, I had to look away. There was pain and fear and disappointment and maybe, just maybe, a hint of resentment.
It was that chance of resentment that sent a shockwave through me.
I stepped back, shaking. Another tremor of pain crashed through me. I nodded. There was nothing else—I had to escape. Had to leave. Had to get out of here before I . . .
Exploded.
“Okay,” I whispered.
“Okay?”
“Okay.”
What else could I say? For the last year, Devin had been sneaking behind my back, letting me believe we had a future together. All that time, he knew he would betray me to go to the Marines. He allowed me to believe in the dream of us.
And isn’t that when I’d fallen in love?
When the thought of it being just him and me wasn’t a dream? When we’d leave this small mountain town together and conquer the world? When everything wasn’t so scary and so big and so impossible because he would be at my side?
And it was all a lie.
The heat in my eyes returned, this time with ferocity. Still, I blinked the tears back with the maddening thought that Mama had been right. Although I’d talked myself out of believing her for the last couple of years because Devin was different, Mama had been absolutely right.
They always leave.
Maybe it was just a matter of time for all of us. For Maverick to leave Bethany. For JJ to escape from Lizbeth.
Maybe we all ended up alone. Safer that way, at least.
“Ellie.” He put a hand on my shoulder and I realized I’d stopped moving away from him to stare at the ground. “Please tell me what you’re thinking. I know you feel betrayed and this is frightening and . . . “
He trailed away again. My heart fought my head which hurt from all the pain and everything felt like a big, ugly trap that rolled around me. And, pulsing in the corner of my mind, was the tiny box where I’d tucked the truth and it screamed at me now.
You love him. You love him.
And now?
He’s leaving, Mama whispered. Because they always do.
I stepped back. “I have to go,” I said. “I . . . I have to go.”
With that, I picked up the dress that I’d carefully chosen, grateful that I’d worn my tennis shoes, and I disappeared into the night with a carefully masked sob.
I hope you enjoyed that preview of WILD CHILD! You can preorder your copy directly from me right here. It’ll arrive in your inbox on launch day!
Or, if you prefer, you can grab a copy from Amazon by clicking right here.
And, as always, thanks for being here.
Happy reading!
Warmly,
KC
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Acknowledgments
Good grief, how does this process surprise me every time? You’d think after writing as many books as I have, I’d be used to this.
But oh, no.
Books are like kids. They all have attitudes. Which makes the process different every time.
LOVESICK was a real terror, joy, and unfathomable mystery all wrapped into one. I had a blast writing it—when I wasn’t sobbing over a wayward plotline or a character I just couldn’t figure out.
To that end, I want to give another thank-you to the OGs at KCW that helped me immensely with this project.
A) for letting me think out loud and shooting down my truly awful ideas until I peeled away the sticky heart center.
B) for picking up the pieces in the company while I shut the world away to just write it already.
My full team at KCW: Where would I be without you? All of you mean the world to me and I’d be lost without you having my back.
My production team: McKenna, Catherine, Gemma, Darcee, Je
nny, and all the others. THANK YOU so much for making my books so beautiful. Kristen, without you setting up a fake dating profile so we could do online dating research (that didn’t even make it into this book, of course! XD) what would we have laughed at?
To my sisterwife, Ali: Without you to co-parent our children, this book would still be buzzing in the back of my mind. Thanks for letting me help raise your kids while you help raise mine.
Husband, you are the JJ to my Lizbeth and I’m constantly lovesick for you. Little Man and Warrior Princess, you constantly infuse my life with love and adventures. My world would be empty without you. May you always use books to find your way, as I do.
And to the amazing Claire Cain, thank you for the phrase “sweet baby pineapple” and for letting me use it in this book! If you want to read her book where I first encountered such an AWESOME phrase, click right here.
Finally, to the most important people of all—my readers. I absolutely adore you, all of this is for you, and a worthier audience could never be had.
*MUAH*
Also by Katie Cross
The Health and Happiness Society
Bon Bons to Yoga Pants (Lexie)
I Am Girl Power (Megan)
You’ll Never Know (Rachelle)
Hear Me Roar (Bitsy)
What Was Lost (Mira)
Finding Anna
The Health and Happiness Society Collection
The Health and Happiness Cookbook
Recipes from I Am Girl Power
The Coffee Shop Series
Coffee Shop Girl
Lovesick
Runaway (coming April 30, 2021)
Wild Child (coming July 15, 2021)
About the Author
Katie Cross grew up in the mountains of Idaho, where she still loves to play when she gets the chance.
If she’s not finding the nearest taco, she’s probably hiking in the Colorado mountains with her three vizslas (you read that right), two children, and hottie husband.
Her favorite food is everything. She’s a sucker for romance, though she seems like a toughie. And when it comes down to it, being present in the moment is her favorite thing to do.
To learn more about Katie, visit her website.