by Kaylee Ryan
I can’t help but smile against his chest. “I don’t want to leave, Colt. I was just thinking, if we’re going to try this whole dating thing, maybe, it would be best if we weren’t already living together.”
He turns so we’re facing each other and brings his big, warm hand up to cradle my cheek. “First off, we are dating. There’s no going to try. It’s already happening. You’re my girlfriend. I’m not dating anyone else, haven’t even had the urge to do so since I’ve been home. Hell, even before that, I didn’t date. With my Army schedule, it was just too difficult. And second, we may be living together, but only under the same roof. You still have your space, and me, mine. It’s the same as if you had an apartment or a house somewhere else, except better. You don’t have to drive home after spending the night in my bed, but you still have your own space.”
I feel that slight tension ease in my chest. He’s right. We’re living together, but… not. I could go back to my space anytime, and I know he wouldn’t question it. But I also know I love waking up here, in his bed and his arms. I love slipping across the hall and peeking in on Milo. I love getting up and starting breakfast while he hops in the shower. And then I slip into my own place to get ready for the day. It works for us, and I think he’s right.
There’s no reason to change it.
As he gently takes my lips with his, a loud wail echoes across the hall. Colton groans as he pulls his mouth from mine and rests his forehead against mine. “Cockblocker,” he mumbles good-naturedly.
I can’t help but smile. “Why don’t you go take care of the condom and shower. Milo and I will start some French toast,” I tell him, patting his round, hard ass.
“Or you could join me in the shower,” he suggests.
Milo decides he’s done waiting on us and cries louder, making us both laugh. “That’s a nice thought, but we both know that’s not going to happen. Go shower, and then you can come help us in the kitchen,” I suggest as we both slip from the warmth of the bed.
I toss on one of his T-shirts and those soft, discarded boxers, as he heads toward the bathroom. When I slip across the hall, I’m already smiling as I find Milo sitting up in his crib. His arms are already extended my way, a toothy grin spread across his chubby little face.
And there goes the rest of my heart.
“Merry Christmas, Hollis.” Colton’s warm breath tickles my ear as I slowly start to wake. When I glance to the side, it’s not his familiar face I see, but that of his son’s. Milo is there, reaching for me.
“This is the best wake-up call ever,” I announce as I take the happy baby boy and snuggle him into the bed. Milo has other ideas, however, and tries to squirm away, ready to play.
“Milo insisted on waking you up himself,” Colton says, grinning widely.
“He did, did he?” I ask, rolling into my side and sitting up the baby so he can see. Milo instantly grabs the blankets and tries shoving them in his mouth.
Colton nods. “We have a Christmas morning surprise for you,” he tells me as he reaches over and swipes a strand of hair off my forehead.
“I’ve never really been a fan of surprises,” I confess, keeping a close watch on Milo, as he tries to move to the other side of the bed.
“Well, Milo and I were talking about that while I was making his bottle and your coffee.”
I can’t help but smile at how cute he’s being right now.
“Anyway, I told him that since it was his first Christmas, and your first Christmas with us, I wanted to start a few new traditions.”
Again, I’m smiling. “Yeah?”
“Yep,” he replies as he stands up. “Grab the little guy, and let’s go.”
Happily, I take Milo from the bed and get up, thankful to be wearing pants. When we reach the doorway, Colton stops and reaches for his son. “Go do your thing in the bathroom and then come meet us in the living room.” He gives me a quick peck on the cheek and turns and leaves me standing here.
I detour to the bathroom to pee and brush my teeth. When I glance at my reflection in the mirror, I’m already smiling. It’s been awhile since I’ve woke up on Christmas morning and had someone to share those joys with. In fact, I’ve gotten so used to being alone until it was time to visit Grandma at the assisted living complex or go to Tina’s parents’ house that I almost forgot what it’s like to feel excitement and anticipation in the early morning on Christmas.
With a little more spring in my step, I head to the living room to find Colton and Milo. The first thing I see is the big tree. Colton insisted on a real one for Milo’s first Christmas, and in true male fashion, we had to get the biggest one he could find. It barely fits the space, and there’s no star on top because there was no room, but that’s okay. It’s kinda fitting of Colton and his personality.
The next thing I notice is the coffee. He has two mugs of steaming coffee sitting on the table, waiting. Colton reaches for the mug he deemed mine and hands it to me. He’s added the perfect amount of creamer, and I can’t help but smile as I enjoy my first sip.
Colton waves to the floor, and I take a seat in the middle of the room. “Okay, so first, we enjoy coffee together, and maybe someday, we’ll watch the snow fall too. That’s tradition number one. Plus, Milo and I already have breakfast warming in the oven. That’s tradition number two.”
My God, could I smile any wider?
“Tradition number three is music.” Colton turns on the satellite radio, and a bubble of laughter spills from my lips as I hear a classic rock version of “Jingle Bells.” He shrugs and sets the remote down. “I mean, it’s still holiday music, right?”
“Right.”
He then takes a seat in front of the tree, beside his son, and pulls out a few presents, sliding them our way. Milo’s eyes are fixed on the bright red bow as he reaches for the gift just out of his reach. “And number four is sitting around the tree, watching those we love open their gifts.”
With that, he pushes that gift with the big red bow on top to Milo and an even smaller one to me. It’s a jewelry-box-shaped gift. My heart starts to pound, and my breath hitches in my throat as I gaze down at it, almost too afraid to open it.
“You won’t know what’s in it until it’s opened,” he says smoothly, giving me a small grin as he helps Milo rip open the Santa Claus paper.
I reach over and snatch a piece of paper from his tiny little grip before he can shove it in his mouth, and Milo takes a moment to let me know he doesn’t approve. “I bet what’s in the package is much better than the paper,” I tell him, a wide grin on my face.
With my small box in my hand, I watch as Milo opens his first gift. I spy Colton’s phone sitting on the couch, so I quickly grab it to take a few pictures. He should definitely have his son’s first Christmas documented with photos. When I slide my finger across the screen and enter his passcode, my eyes instantly start to water when I see the photo he has as his home screen. It’s Milo sitting in the bath, a little baby mohawk with bubbles, and me. I’m kneeling beside the tub, laughing at the boy who has completely stolen my heart. The joy and love are written all over my face.
When I look up, Colton is watching me, that same look on his face that I have in the picture. His hands have stopped ripping open the box in his hand, and Milo isn’t too happy about it. We both glance at him and smile.
We spend the next fifteen minutes slowly helping Milo open gift after gift. New clothes, some bath toys that squirt water, and a bunch of little toys for his young age. He seems completely fascinated with the red tractor I found. When you pull it back, it rolls forward. Every time his dad pulls it back and lets it go, he laughs.
I realize I’m still holding onto my gift, and Colton does too. One eyebrow rises as he glances my way and down at the box. “Are you going to open it?”
Nodding, I reply, “Yes, I just wanted to see Milo open his stuff first.” Then, I quickly get up and pull the three gifts I stuffed behind the tree out for Colton.
“You didn’t have to get me anything,�
�� he says when he spies the presents.
“I could have told you the same thing.”
“Fine, but you have to open yours first.”
With a smile, I slowly pull the ribbon off the small box and lift the lid. It’s hard to see the necklace through my watery eyes, but I manage. There, nestled against the ivory lining, is the most beautiful necklace I’ve ever seen. “Colt—” I start but can’t seem to get anymore words out.
He’s moving, kneeling beside me, and takes the box from my shaking hands. “This is a dual gift from both Milo and me.” He holds up the piece of jewelry, giving me a closer look at the two items dangling from the white gold chain. “This heart, that’s for Milo. When we went shopping, he picked it out because he said he loves you with all his heart.”
There’s no stopping the tears as they slide down my cheeks now. The heart is small but surrounded in gorgeous diamonds that shimmer under the sunlight filtering through the window. “I don’t know what to say,” I whisper, my hand covering his as I clutch onto that tiny little heart as if I were clutching the one in Milo’s chest.
He moves my hand and carefully clasps the necklace around my neck, kissing the tender skin behind my ear. “Well, there’s more to this necklace,” he starts, holding up the other charm. It’s a key in white gold, a single heart diamond in the middle. “This key represents me. My heart. And I give you the key.” He smirks just a little as he adds, “Hell, I think you’ve owned it since I opened the door and found you standing on my porch.”
My arms wrap around his neck as I hold on tighter than I may ever have before. “It’s amazing. It’s the best gift I’ve ever received,” I whisper.
He turns me and places his lips against mine. “I mean it, Hollis. You own me.”
“I love you,” I murmur, right before he starts to deepen the kiss. His tongue slides in my mouth as his hands move to my back and then up to the back of my neck. Prickles of awareness slide up my skin with each stroke of his tongue, every touch of his hand.
We’re unable to take the kiss further, though. Milo can’t reach his new toys and takes the opportunity to tell us about it. Colton and I laugh as we separate and retrieve all the new goodies that fell just out of reach for Milo’s short arms.
“Oh! It’s your turn to open your gifts,” I tell him, wiping the remaining tears from my face as my right hand touches the necklace around my neck once more.
Colton settles back on the floor and reaches for the first box. It’s a shirt-box-shaped gift, so I’m pretty sure he already knows what’s inside. He pulls out the gray Henley and smiles. “Thank you.”
Shrugging, I tell him, “It’s not anything really personal. I just saw it and thought the gray would look amazing with your eyes.”
Those hypnotic orbs are focused solely on me as he smiles. “Thank you.”
“There’s more,” I say, brushing off the compliment and pushing the smaller package his way. I watch as he opens the travel coffee mug that reads Best Daddy Ever and offers me the biggest grin.
“Thank you. This is the best,” he says, glancing back down at the mug and then over to his son, who’s happily chewing on a teether shaped like a chicken drumstick.
Finally, he looks at the last gift. The big one. My heart starts to skip a little bit in my chest. He unwraps the paper and opens the box. There’s a large envelope inside, which he sets aside. Colton moves the tissue paper and reveals the image I purchased and had framed earlier in the week.
“Hollis.” My name is barely audible as he looks down at the picture of his son sitting with the Army jacket and smiling a big cheesy grin at the camera while holding the helmet on his head. He doesn’t say anything else, just stares down at the framed photograph.
After what feels like minutes, I start to worry he doesn’t like it. He still hasn’t said anything. Maybe I overstepped on this gift. It’s personal, yes, but maybe he doesn’t want the reminder of his previous world clashing with his current one.
“If you don’t like it,” I start, trying to find the right words.
When he glances up, his eyes hold something I wasn’t expecting. Tears. “Don’t like it? It’s amazing.” He looks back down at the image and smiles.
I swallow over the lump in my throat. “I thought maybe you could hang it with the one from Chase and Gabby,” I tell him unnecessarily.
Colton’s gaze lands on the portrait of Milo from when he was only a month old. Before he knew the boy was his son, not his nephew. He nods and smiles. Even though the tears don’t fall, they’re there, nonetheless.
Without saying a word, he reaches down for the envelope and pulls out the stack of photos. “There should be plenty there for your family to have,” I tell him as he thumbs through different poses and sizes. When he gets to the last one, a look of what can only be described as pure contentment passes across his handsome face. He holds it up for me to see.
I shrug. “I hope you don’t mind. She suggested the photo, and it sounded cute, so I went with it. I bought one. For my room,” I stammer, referring to that final photo where I’m helping Milo stand, his little belly sticking out over his jeans.
He’s moving before I realize it, hauling me up and onto my feet. Suddenly, I’m wrapped in his arms, in his familiar scent, and hugged so tightly I’m not sure I could breathe, even if I tried. “I love it. I want one for our room too.”
Then his lips are pressed to mine in a fierce, bruising kiss that melts my bones and robs me of the ability to think of anything other than him. Thank God I’m in his arms, or I wouldn’t be able to stand.
“And I love you,” he adds against my lips.
“I love you too. Thank you for my necklace.”
“Thank you for these, for everything,” he says, pointing to the stack of photos left on the floor. “Merry Christmas, Hollis,” he whispers as he swipes his lips across mine once more.
Milo chooses that moment to yell, his bottom lip jutting out as he gets ready for a fit. I’m there, though, scooping him up and in my arms before the first tear even has a chance to fall. “Are you getting hungry?” I ask, bouncing him on my hip as the doorbell rings. “Are you expecting someone?”
Guilt flashes through Colton’s eyes before it’s quickly replaced with excitement. “Uh, yeah. Actually,” he starts, reaching over and taking Milo from my arms, “it’s for you.”
I give him a look of confusion. “For me?”
“Yeah, it’s for you. The rest of your Christmas present.”
I don’t move right away, not until I feel his hand on my back. “Go ahead. Open the door.”
My legs are a little wobbly as I head to the door and turn the lock. When the chain is released, I slowly open the door, not really sure what to expect. What I do know is I wasn’t expecting this.
Her.
“Tina!”
Chapter 17
Colton
The smile on my girl’s face tells me that even though she doesn’t like surprises, she’s happy with this one. It took some sneaking around in her phone to find Tina’s number, and then I had to wait until I was at the gym to call her. It almost felt as if I was cheating the way I was keeping my phone on vibrate and quickly deleting our text messages. Although it was a job to sneak, I couldn’t think of a better gift for Christmas than time with her best friend. I know she’s been missing her, and now that she’s free, now that she doesn’t have the fear hanging over her head, I thought my girl could use some girl time.
She and Tina are sitting on the couch, with Milo between them. My little man has been soaking up all the attention like a sponge. He’s been flashing that new bottom tooth and his dimple of his all afternoon. As for me, I’ve just been sitting here, listening to the two of them catch up. The way Hollis smiles makes me happy to see her this way. She’s so relaxed and carefree. I wasn’t certain that bringing Tina here was the best move, but within seconds of her opening the door, I knew it was the right choice. There was a long hug, and lots of tears, but the good kind of tears. Happi
ness, relief, and joy of getting to see each other again.
Milo squirms and begins to fuss. Hollis stands and pats his back, swaying from side to side, never missing a beat in her conversation with Tina. It’s as if taking care of my son comes second nature to her. “I’ll take him, babe,” I say, standing and taking Milo from her arms. “You ready for a bottle and a nap, little man?” I ask my son, kissing his head.
“Have a good nap, sweet boy,” Hollis says, waving at him.
In the kitchen, I make him a bottle, and instead of going back and sitting with Hollis and Tina, I opt for the rocking chair in his room. That will give the ladies some time to catch up without me looming around them. I feel like an outsider as I sit and listen to them talk about old times and people they know. There is a jealousy that comes to life when I think about her life before Milo and me. It’s irrational, but I can’t seem to stop it.
“We have her future, buddy,” I whisper to my son as he sucks down his bottle. “The three of us, we’re going to make some new memories. And maybe if we’re lucky, give you a brother or sister. Maybe both,” I muse. He reaches up and rests his hand on my chin, capturing my heart.
I can’t believe I could have missed all of this. I stayed away for so long, giving my life to the Army that I missed these connections. Sure, I had them with my parents and Chase, but this. This feeling of my son’s tiny fist wrapped around my heart. Every man should experience this. There is nothing like the love you have for your child. I never could have dreamed I’d get excited over a grin, a wave, a first word. It’s all magical, witnessing all of his firsts.
Then there’s Hollis. She’s everything I never knew I wanted. To know that she loves me makes me feel ten feet tall and bulletproof. Even more to know that she loves my son, as if he were hers, that shit goes deep. Soul capturing. Life-changing.
“We’re going to make her ours, buddy. Daddy just needs to find the right time.” I’ve been carrying her ring in my pocket. I almost wrapped it and gave it to her for Christmas, but I don’t want it to be a gift for a holiday. I want it to be its own occasion. A moment we will never forget.