by Rani Clark
His mother always made light of her job when it truth he knew she loved it. The lawyers she worked for adored her. When he had visited her at work to go out to lunch they told him how much she helped and how much they liked her there. Jaska was happy his mother had found a place to work like that, especially after everything she had gone through with his father. She deserved to be treated with respect and kindness at a job she cared so much about. It was easier for Jaska to know that his mother had a job she loved when he was stuck so far away from her.
2
He wasn’t used to waking up in the daylight hours. Jaska opened his eyes to Lantern pulling at his arm. He sat up and looked around the room. Leif was snoring and Ty was curled up on his bed, sleeping soundly. Jaska stood and quietly left the room, walking to the kitchen with Lantern. He opened the fridge and took out a bottle of juice and a bag of fruit. Glancing down at the creature he took out leftover pancakes.
He warmed up the pancakes as he put fruit in a small bowl. Lantern shoveled the pancakes into his mouth first before eating the fruit more slowly. Jaska sat next to him, “You got syrup all over your face,” he muttered. “You’re getting a bath.”
He made himself a cup of coffee as Lantern ate. His stomach was in knots. He couldn’t believe Ty was dating Elias Kircher. When he thought about it more he realized that it wasn’t all that strange even if it was disgusting. Elias was the only person who had shown Ty any affection like that. Jaska had thought about dating Ty since he didn’t have any feelings either way. He couldn’t fall out of love if he had never been in it so their break-up most likely wouldn’t have happened. His emotions meant little to him if it made someone he cared about happy.
He heard one of the bedroom doors shut. His mother shuffled into the kitchen with a yawn, her hair a tangled mess from sleeping. “Hey mom.”
“Hi sweetie.” She hugged him tightly, “How did you sleep?”
“Fine.” He set his mug down, “I’m sorry that I’ve been so out of it. I just . . . don’t feel great.”
“It’s alright honey.” She kissed his forehead, “What do you want to do today?”
“I don’t know.” He picked Lantern up, “I’m going to give him a bath. Will you come with me?” He grabbed the diaper bag from the chair.
Lilly Ann nodded and followed him to the bathroom. Jaska set Lantern down and plugged the tub, starting it up and filling it with warm water. He lifted Lantern into the tub and took out the rubber duck and airplane he liked to bathe with.
“Mom, do you think I should have agreed to be with Ty?” he asked as he knelt down, rinsing Lantern gently with water.
“What do you mean?” She put the toilet lid down and sat on it.
“I mean, he was looking for validation and love. He was looking for someone to treat him in a way that made him feel like he mattered. I don’t feel like he feels so it wouldn’t have mattered.”
“It would have mattered a lot, actually. Ty wants someone who loves him as much as he loves them, everyone deserves that much in life.”
Jaska squirted the baby shampoo into his hands and began to scrub the little Mothman. “But he loved me.”
“That wouldn’t have been fair to him or you.” She touched the back of his head, “Honey, is something else bothering you?”
“There was a boy at the necromancer party who tried to kiss me. I told him no.” Jaska began to rinse Lantern’s feathers, “He was really nice though.”
“A fellow necromancer?”
“He’s an apprentice, just like me. There was another person, a girl, I talked to. She was really nice.” Jaska watched Lantern play with his rubber duck, “There are more women than men in necromancy. Apparently, women have a knack for it. You would really like Mr. Ragnar’s girlfriend.”
“That man has a girlfriend?”
“Freddie Hallows. She’s nice and, well, kind of a badass. She’s more powerful than Mr. Ragnar. They demonstrated a fight and she punched him into the ground. It was cool.” He grabbed a clean towel from the closet, “Alright Lantern, time to get out.”
He reached into the soapy water and pulled the plug. Lantern stood and held up his arms for Jaska to pick him up. “Mom, will you grab his toys and dry them off?”
“Sure.”
Jaska dried Lantern off quickly before brushing him down. “Alright buddy, there you go. I’m sure Margo will be happy to play with you some more. Go color in the living room while I get dressed, ok?”
Lilly Ann watched the creature go, “How big will he get?”
“Seven or eight feet, I think. He’s just like a toddler.” Jaska threw his arms around her, “I love you and I’m sorry I’m putting you through this.”
“Oh honey, none of this is your fault.”
Putting his mother through this wasn’t fair. Part of him wished he would just die to keep her from further pain. Once he was in the ground for a few years she would forget about him and be all the better for it. “I’m going to get dressed.”
“Do you want me to make you some breakfast?”
“I’m not hungry.”
Ty was awake and talking to Leif when he stepped into the room. “Hey,” his friend greeting him. “You were up early.”
"Yeah, well.” He picked up his duffel bag and set it on the bed, unzipping it to take out his clothes. “What has Leif been telling you?”
“Nothing much, we’ve just been talking.”
Leif stood, “I think I need some breakfast. And coffee.”
Ty watched him go before speaking again, “Are you feeling ok?”
“Of course I’m not feeling ok. That’s a dumb question.” Jaska put his clothes on, “Sorry. Do you want to go for a walk?”
“Yeah. Let me get dressed and get some breakfast.”
“There’s something I need to do first, I’ll be back in half an hour or so. Enjoy your breakfast.” He grabbed his coat and gloves before heading out the door without speaking to anyone else.
He put his hands in his pockets as he walked towards town. The clock shop was just opening for the day when he pushed open the door. “Is he working today?” he asked.
Benson shook his head, “No, he’s upstairs.”
Jaska nodded and left the store, walking around to the back where another set of stairs were. He headed up and banged loudly on the door. When no one answered he knocked again, louder this time. He heard a groan and a shout that he would be there in a moment.
Elias looked worse than he had before. His eyes were black and he was limping, holding his arm steady. “Jaska, what a lovely surprise. Come in.” He stepped aside to allow him into the small apartment.
Jaska looked around the warm apartment as Elias shut the door behind him.
“To what do I owe the pleasure, Master Byrne?” he asked. “You’ll excuse me if I don’t stand,” he muttered, setting himself gently down on the couch.
“I wanted to talk to you about Ty.”
Elias raised an eyebrow, “What about him?”
“What are you doing with him? This is . . . awful. What you’re doing is horrendous and I can’t be ok with it.”
“Does Ty know you’re here?”
“No.”
“Hm.”
Jaska glared at him, “Do you think this is a joke?”
“No, but I don’t think this is any of your business. Ty isn’t an idiot, he isn’t going to do something he doesn’t want to do. I didn’t coerce him into anything, I didn’t force him, I didn’t-”
“Ty’s never been with anyone. You’re taking advantage of that.”
“Like hell I am,” he growled. “I made it very clear to him that if he wanted to stop we would stop. I gave him every opportunity to say no and he didn’t. I’m sure he didn’t tell you in detail about our first time, but hell, I will. He was more than excited enough for the both of us. He practically ripped my shirt off so before you accuse me of anything why not ask him about it?”
Jaska wanted to punch him. Very rarely did he harbor violent tho
ughts towards others.
“You know, he can summon a Demon Beast.”
Monarch appeared beside him. He glanced at the creature, “He’s right. I did it by accident once. I’m sure if I try I can do it again.”
“And your little Spirit Guide is supposed to scare me?”
“No.” He took a step towards the kitchen and grabbed a steak knife from the counter. It was still dirty, left over from dinner most likely. He saw red and slammed the knife into Elias’s unbroken hand.
“Ah!” The werewolf shouted, leaping up as blood flowed from his hand, “What the hell, Jaska?!”
“Hurt him and Mr. Ragnar won’t have to kill you,” he snapped. He stormed out of the apartment, leaving Elias cursing and bleeding.
Monarch followed him, grabbing his shoulders as he reached the bottom step in the alley. “Hey, calm down,” he said. “Calm down. What was that?”
“I-I don’t know.” He felt his heart pounding hard in his chest, “I didn’t think I would do that.”
Monarch pulled him into a hug, “Didn’t think you had it in you. You could have just used your magic but the knife worked too.”
Jaska calmed down, breathing in the cold, snowy smell of his Spirit Guide. Monarch had never hugged him before. “Thanks,” he muttered, pulling back. “I hope his hand gets infected.”
“Me too. Don’t worry about this. That spell Vladimir put on him will kill him if something happens, ok?”
“I know.” He wiped his eyes, “Any news?”
“No, I’m sorry. We’re looking, but this is difficult. I still think you should tell Mr. Ragnar.”
“I’m not going to.”
Monarch nodded, “Alright. Try to enjoy your time here. You deserve it.”
He watched Monarch vanish before beginning his walk home. Part of him couldn’t believe he had stabbed someone, even if that someone was Elias Kircher. When he arrived back at his grandparent’s house he walked in to hear laughing and talking. Lantern was drawing with Margo in the living room. Ty and Leif were still at the breakfast table with Lilly Ann and his grandparent’s. Jaska sat next to Ty, taking a pancake from the plate in the center of the table.
“How was your walk?” Ty asked.
“Fine. Ready to go?”
“Yeah, I’m just going to use the bathroom.”
Leif sipped his orange juice, “I’m going to see Vladimir today if you want me to tell him anything.”
“Not really.” He stood, “See you later. Bye mom,” he hugged his mother tightly. “We’ll be back.”
Ty was waiting for him by the door. The two left the house, heading into the woods that were lightly covered in snow. There wasn’t much to say. Jaska was just happy to be with his friend. Ty seemed to know that all he wanted was to walk in silence. He would miss this when he had to leave in a few days.
* * *
Being with his family made him sadder than he thought it would. He was hurting them and he couldn’t do anything about it. When Thanksgiving came, he found himself dreading it. A family dinner would make his mother miss him more when he left.
“Dinner!” Byron called at four in the afternoon.
He stood and went into the dining room, wanting to throw up when he smelled the aroma of a typical turkey dinner. Leif had taken plates of food to go so that he could be with Mr. Ragnar. Jaska sat down next to his mother at the table and was given a plate piled with food.
“Eat up, Jaska. You’re much too thin,” his grandmother told him.
He nodded, but only ate a few bites of stuffing and turkey. To appease his grandparents, he took an extra bite of the green bean casserole Lilly Ann always made. Everyone ate and laughed, enjoying their time as a family. Jaska sipped his water. Lantern ate the turkey dinner rather than his fruit and vegetables although he didn’t eat the turkey. It was a holiday after all. Jaska wiped his mouth as the creature ate a second roll.
“I think he actually likes mom’s casserole,” Margo joked.
Lantern nodded and pointed to it and then his mouth. Jaska scooped another helping onto his plate. “It’s great mom,” he said with a small smile.
After dinner, they played games. Everyone was laughing and having fun. It began to snow outside as Byron lit a fire and made coffee and hot chocolate to serve with the pumpkin pie. Lantern curled up by the fire and fell asleep after finishing a large piece with extra whip cream. Margo slumbered on the couch as the night grew late.
Jaska put his head on his mother’s shoulder. “I think we’re leaving tomorrow. I hope you’re alright with that.”
“No, but I can’t really control it, can I?” She kissed his head, “Will you be alright?”
“In time I think.”
“Oh sweetie.”
He fell asleep next to his mother. It was the best sleep he’d gotten in a long time.
* * *
Jaska woke up with a blanket over him. Gray light was filtering through the room and Lantern was snuggled up by his side, clutching his plush raccoon. With a sigh, he stood and stretched. Lantern shivered so he put the blanket back over the creature and went into the kitchen. What he usually ate for breakfast back home was barely anything. Typically, it was a few bites of whatever was put in front of him and coffee so he ate a roll, drank some coffee, and headed to his room to pack. Ty was curled up the wall and Leif was sprawled on the blowup mattress in his underwear. He must have gotten back late.
Jaska packed quickly and put his bag by the door. He went outside to stand in the snow. He used to build snowmen when he was little. Margo had always loved building snowmen. He began to absentmindedly roll a snowball when his sister stepped from the house.
“You think you can leave without building a snowman?”
Jaska smiled and, without a word, helped Margo build a snowman. They didn’t talk as they rolled the small snowball into a larger one for the bottom. The snowman wasn’t the best looking when they were finished, but it wasn’t the worst. Margo bent down and scooped up more snow. Jaska wasn’t anticipating having a ball of snow lobbed at him and shouted in surprise when the cold hit him. He smiled and made a snowball before chucking it at his sister. The air was soon filled with laughter and screams as the two ran and threw their snowballs. By the end, both were soaked and cold. They went inside to see Lilly Ann making them hot chocolate and cinnamon buns.
Both sat on the couch shivering as Lilly Ann put blankets around them. She kissed their foreheads with tears in her eyes. “Don’t cry mom. I’ll be fine.”
“I’m sorry, honey.”
The knock on the door made them all flinch. Jaska wished Mr. Ragnar wouldn’t show up at the worst times. His master had horrible timing. Lilly Ann swung open the door with a frown. “Come to pick him up?” she spat with venom.
“Yes.” Mr. Ragnar stepped into the house, “If you think I enjoy this you are sorely mistaken.” He looked at Jaska, “Ready to go?”
“Yes. Leif isn’t. Last time I saw him he was still asleep.”
“That’s Leif for you,” Mr. Ragnar said with a smile. “Shall I go and wake him?”
“I’ll go get him.” Jaska stood and headed into the bedroom. Leif was sitting up, stretching and yawning. “Leif, Mr. Ragnar’s here.”
“Ok. I’ll be ready to go in a few.”
Jaska noticed Ty wasn’t there. “Where did Ty go?”
“Shower I think.”
As if on que, Ty stepped into the room wrapped in a towel. Jaska looked at him for a moment before hugging him. “I’ll miss you, Ty. I’ll write you.”
Ty hugged him back, “Let me get dressed and I’ll see you off.”
Jaska nodded, grabbed his bag, and left the two in peace. He sniffled as he walked down the hallway. He only had to keep it together until they went home. “He’ll be out in a moment.”
Mr. Ragnar nodded, “I’ll wait outside.”
There was so much he wanted to say to his mother, but he didn’t have the time. He set his bag down, “I’ll come home for Christmas. At least, I'll a
sk Mr. Ragnar to let me.” He hugged her, “I love you mom and I’m fine, I promise.” He hugged Margo next and then his grandparents. Ty came out of the bedroom which earned him a tight hug. “Please be careful, Ty.”
“I love you too,” Ty replied with a chuckle.
He and Leif left the house then, Jaska felt worse having visited. Lantern cooed at him, nuzzling his hand in an attempt to make him feel better. Leif walked with his usual cool air. Mr. Ragnar was looking at his watch. “Stay out here, I’ll be right back.”