George picked up the old bell and rang it gently. “Good answer. How are you planning on doing that?”
“That’s what I wanted to talk to you about. Hayley says I need to think about what I want to do for the rest of my life. I want to work with dogs, and the shelter is the only place where I can do that.” Saying the words made Todd feel closed in as if he were cornered and without options. He put it into words as best he could. “So it’s like I’m stuck in the mud on the tractor. My wheels are just spinning.”
George had thought about this all day. He wasn’t a big fan of the follow-your-dream mentality. He thought it bordered on self-indulgence and was not a practical approach for Todd. “Todd, let me ask you something. When you are really hungry, do you sit around and think about what you would like to eat, or do you go look in the refrigerator and grab what’s there?”
That one was easy. “I’d go into the fridge and hope there was something I like a lot. Ice cream would be good.”
“There you go! Well, finding work is the same thing, really. You’ll never get anywhere by just thinking about what might be perfect for you. You’ve got to find what’s out there and make it happen. If there is no ice cream in the fridge, you might have to make yourself a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Does that make sense?”
“Or maybe I get in the car, drive to the store, and buy ice cream?”
George had to admit Todd had him on that one, so he tried again. “Todd, if you go into a restaurant do you order what’s on the menu or do you tell them what sounds good to you?”
“You have to order off the menu.” Todd reached down and nervously petted his dog. He knew his dad was trying to reach out to him and help him understand something that was resting just beyond his grasp. He knew his dad was doing this in the most patient and loving way he could, but what he was saying was still not sinking in.
“See, Todd, you’ve got to go out there and find out what jobs are available. That’s like the food on the menu or the food you have in the refrigerator. Sitting around thinking about where you wish you could work is like the food in your mind. You can’t eat food in your mind. Thinking about food doesn’t fill you up. Does it?”
It clicked in a vague way. Todd translated what his dad was saying to mean that thinking alone wouldn’t get him a job. That much made sense. He walked over to his dad and hugged him. “Thanks, Dad. I think I understand now why my wheels were spinning.”
“Trust me, Todd. You’re not the first person to get their wheels spinning on this one. I’m always hearing about someone’s kid going off to college or trade school to study their dream—poetry, cliff dwellers, or something that sounds real interesting—and then they get home and act surprised when they can’t find work. They have it all backwards. We have to find out who is hiring, what work is out there in the world, and then get trained to do it.”
George handed Todd a copy of The Prairie Star. He folded the paper back to the classified section and then spread it out on his makeshift desk. “Come over here a minute and look at this.”
Todd looked over his father’s shoulder and George continued, “These are the jobs in town, where people need help. This is the list you’ve got to pick from. It’s like the job menu. Because the economy is weak now, there aren’t a lot of openings. But whether we like it or not, this is what’s on the job menu. Take it and look it over. See what’s out there. It might be you have to work at something less than perfect for a while.”
Todd took the paper from his dad. “Thanks, I’ll look it over.”
“I circled a few that might be worth checking into.”
Todd turned toward the barn door and started to leave. “See you later, Dad. Thanks for your help.” Todd looked down at Christmas and asked, “You coming along or staying?”
George and Mary Ann were amused by the way Christmas wandered back and forth between Thorne’s cabin and their farmhouse. Today, Christmas seemed content on the floor beneath George’s feet. Tomorrow, he might spend the day with Todd. At times he would paw on the door of either home, and when let out, he would travel across the narrow meadow that separated the two dwellings, seemingly ready to spend time at his other place.
The old Lab’s tail swept back and forth several times, but he did not get up as Todd got ready to leave the barn, so Todd buttoned up his coat, put on his blue stocking cap, and said, “I guess he’s staying.”
It was cold enough for Todd to walk briskly down McCray’s Hill. From a distance, Thorne’s cabin had a rustic appeal, but it was a simple place: only one big room with a kitchen at the back and a bedroom and small bath to the side. Once inside, Todd hung his coat on a peg and went through his mail. He found a plate of his favorite cookies on the kitchen table with a note from his mom.
Todd—Sorry about the shelter closing. I know you’re worried about the dogs. I’ll be home tonight. Why don’t you come by so we can talk it over? We’ll get through this together! We love you!!!
Mom
Todd set the note down on the table, gobbled down a cookie, and checked the cell phone he had left on the kitchen table with his car keys. There was a message. He pushed the little symbol for a tape and the speaker button so he could hear it play while he ate his cookies. He heard a female voice. “Todd, it’s Laura. I could use some more help setting out Christmas decorations tonight. Can you come by around seven?” Todd crammed down another cookie and called Laura back. He’d be there.
Todd hung up the phone and quickly called Mary Ann to thank her and let her know that he would be helping Laura for the second night in a row. Although disappointed, she understood. “Drive carefully, Todd, and we’ll talk later.”
After she hung up, she tried to piece together the aggravatingly cryptic summary George had given her of his conversation with Todd: “I gave him the Help Wanted section of the paper. He’s going to read it. That’s enough for now. Give him a chance to work it out.”
THE WEEKEND was spent doing very little. Both Hayley and Todd felt like they were going to walk up to the mirror and see someone else staring back at them, as if they had been handed a new identity. Monday they were still in such a fog that they found it hard to do much more than wander around asking each other the same question and getting the same answer.
“How are you doing?”
“Lousy. How about you?”
“Same.”
After work, Todd went over to Laura’s house so she could help him with his résumé. Over Todd’s objections, Hayley insisted that this was the first step in finding employment. Laura’s father turned over his office so they could use his computer and printer. With Christmas at his feet, Todd sat at the computer and pecked away at the keyboard. His typing was acceptable—his texting skills were even better—but he needed help with grammar and spelling. Laura sat beside him, with Gracie at her feet, and proofread his work. The two dogs were side-by-side. Gracie would try to entice Christmas into playing with her by playfully nipping at his paws. The black Lab would patiently shift his paws away from Gracie and then place one paw on her head to remind the much younger dog that his days of roughhousing were behind him.
Because there was an error or two on virtually every line, it took Todd and Laura over an hour to get a draft together. When they were finished, Laura printed out a clean copy for closer inspection.
“This is good!” Laura said. “I’d hire you.”
Todd got up from the office chair and paced about the room as if he had been granted a pardon from a life sentence. He sighed with relief at having the dreaded résumé task behind him. He’d spent years in high school barely passing any class that involved writing skills. He had no desire to relive those difficult times—even for one evening. He sat down on the floor next to Christmas and held the dog close to him. He liked being at Laura’s house. This was one of the few times they had been alone together. He wished they were doing anything but writing a résumé. Even so, Laura’s helping him list his accomplishments validated his skills, and he was happily surprise
d at what he had learned about himself in the process.
Laura had a knack for taking the ordinary tasks that Todd did, day in and day out, and making them sound significant. He read and re-read the paragraph on his current position. It sounded pretty impressive.
ASSISTANT SHELTER MANAGER—responsible for caring for, grooming, and feeding over fifty cats and dogs. Developed innovative strategies and processes for promoting high adoption rates at nationally recognized shelter. Highest rating on all employee reviews.
“Laura?” Todd asked.
She looked up. “Yes?”
“Do you think I will be able to find somewhere to work in Crossing Trails?” She didn’t answer right away, so he asked again, “Do you think anyone will hire me?”
Laura knew the market was tough. “Todd, I think lots of people would hire you if they had work. I don’t know how many people have jobs to fill right now. That’s the problem. If I had an opening, I would hire you and Christmas first thing.”
Todd yawned, closed his eyes, and without thinking about it rested his head on Laura’s shoulder. Résumé writing was exhausting. “I’m tired.”
“I don’t like it that you have to drive so far to get home.”
Todd opened his eyes. “Ten miles is not that far.”
“In that old truck of yours, it’s too far to be driving, especially at night.” Laura snuggled in closer to Todd. “I miss you when you’re out there in that old cabin. It seems so very far away. Like a whole other world.”
Todd felt something building in his chest, a mixture of happiness and sadness. He nudged Laura playfully. “Thanks for helping me on my résumé.”
Laura grinned sheepishly. “You just needed a little help describing what a great guy you are and what a wonderful employee you would be.”
Todd held up the finished résumé proudly. “I better go.”
He extended his hand, offering to help Laura up from the sofa. She considered telling him that he needed to walk himself out to his truck. Her arthritis was flaring up and she was feeling tired. She hesitated and looked up at Todd. Pushing through the pain, she said, “Thanks, but Gracie and I can do it ourselves. We need the exercise and the practice. Watch and see what she has learned, thanks to you.”
She leaned over and called Gracie to her side. Snapping her vest around her was Gracie’s signal that she was on duty for Laura. Laura then gave the “stand” command that Todd had taught the dog to help Laura get up from a chair, because getting down was not the problem. Laura needed to brace her weight against the dog to push herself up from the sofa.
It’s quite difficult for some dogs to stay firmly put while someone seems to be leaning against them, as if pushing them away. In the beginning Gracie had been confused and Todd couldn’t figure out the best way to help her, so he Googled the names on the dog-training videos that he had studied and came up with the phone numbers of some of the leading service-dog trainers in the country. When it came to picking up the phone, even as a young boy, Todd had had no reservations. Over the ensuing months Todd developed a long-distance phone relationship with several of the finest service-dog trainers in the business. It had taken several weeks of intensive work and a few training tips, but now Gracie was a pro at helping Laura up.
When Laura gave the command “stand,” Gracie positioned her body sideways in front of Laura like a four-legged stool. The dog splayed her feet slightly and braced herself. Laura placed one hand on Gracie’s haunches and the other close to her neck, where the dog’s front legs could better support Laura’s weight. She tilted her torso over the top of the dog’s body and then with her palms down, pushed herself up. “Good girl, Gracie.”
Once up, she took Todd’s elbow in her right hand. “I’ll walk you out.”
Todd and Laura went out the front door, with their two dogs tagging along. There was no moon, and the stars were crisp and bright. They stood together by the cab of Todd’s truck while the engine warmed up. Laura stuck her hands in Todd’s coat pockets to keep them warm.
As if on cue, Todd’s phone rang. He checked the caller ID, sighed, and showed Laura the phone, letting Mary Ann’s call go to voice mail. “Sometimes my mom loves me too much.”
She turned away from Todd and took a step toward her house. “Come on, Gracie. Todd has to get going on that long drive home,” she said, rolling her eyes in a teasing way. “Will you call me later, so I don’t worry about you being eaten up by all those coyotes I always hear howling out there?”
Todd laughed. “Coyotes don’t eat people.”
“Are you sure?” she asked.
“Nah, you’re thinking of wolves.”
Laura growled, “Rrrrff. See you tomorrow.”
She reached down, grabbed the handle on Gracie’s vest, and made her way back toward the small ranch home where she had lived her entire life. As she reached the front door, Laura turned and waved good-bye to Todd as he pulled off. She stood for a moment and listened to the sound of the poorly muffled truck fade away in the distance.
On the edge of town, Todd checked his messages on his cell phone. His mother still wanted him to stop by and check in with her before he went to bed or, if he was too tired, before he went to work the next morning. The second message was the one he had been hoping for. Brenda Williams—the Problem Solver—asked Todd to call her back tomorrow morning. “Yes!” he said aloud, feeling as if he’d scored a small victory.
Todd drove under a clear sky crowded with stars, the ground beside the road covered in snow. In the distance, Todd saw a doe in his headlights. He watched it amble across the road. He tapped the brakes and slowed to make sure she reached the other side safely. Once she was across, he switched his foot back to the accelerator and continued on his way to his parents’ home.
At the end of his parent’s gravel driveway he turned off the ignition. “Come on, Christmas. We’re home.” The dog lumbered along behind Todd as he entered the family house through the back door.
George and Mary Ann were waiting for him in the living room. Earlier that day, George had cut a Christmas tree from the wild cedars that flanked Kill Creek, and he had set it up in the living room, but the lights and ornaments were still stacked in boxes for another day. Mary Ann, sitting on the sofa knitting a blanket for one of her grandchildren, got up and hugged Todd. George greeted him with a military salute from his recliner by the fire. Todd proudly unfolded the piece of paper that he had painstakingly prepared and handed it to his father before sinking into the sofa. “I already did my résumé, and Laura said it was excellent.”
While George looked over the résumé, Christmas strolled over to the fire and rested on the floor with his back to the heat. Exhausted from the day’s activities, he quickly fell asleep. George handed the résumé back to Todd. Judging by the glow on his face, he was proud of his son. “Pretty impressive, I’d say.”
Todd seemed pleased with himself. “I’m pretty good, aren’t I?”
Mary Ann came over and dropped a kiss on Todd’s head. “You’re the best!”
“Thanks, Mom.” Todd was getting his mind around the problem to the point where he could at least sum up the issues for his parents. “I have to find a new job and a new place for our dogs and cats to live, too. Hayley and I are working on the dogs.” Todd smiled affectionately as he looked at George. “And Dad gave me the job menu.”
George gently corrected Todd. “It’s called ‘Help Wanted’ and it’s part of the paper’s classified ads section. It’s kind of like a menu, but for jobs, not food.”
Mary Ann sat down next to Todd. “Your dad and I were talking, and we want you to know that you always have a place here with us on the farm, either in our house or in Thorne’s cabin.” Christmas began letting out little dog snores.
George added his own thoughts. “What your mom is saying is that we don’t want you to worry. We have confidence that you will work it out. You’ll get through this. It may take some time. We all need to be patient.”
Todd got up from the s
ofa and sat down next to Christmas so that he too could feel the warmth of the fire on his back. “Thanks, Dad, but I think I’ll find something soon. Depending on what I find, I might want to move into Crossing Trails.”
Christmas’s snoring grew louder. Todd rubbed the old Lab’s ears.
Mary Ann set down her knitting. “I don’t understand what you mean.”
A look came over Todd’s face as if he suspected he had said more than he should have. “Depends on where I get a job. It might be easier for me to live in Crossing Trails, you know, closer to work.”
A year earlier when Todd had asked about moving into town, living in Thorne’s cabin had been a compromise. George could feel Todd’s growing aspirations for independence running straight into Mary Ann’s often fierce desire to protect her son from a world she feared would not treat him well. He tried to shut the discussion down before either side got entrenched in an indefensible position. “Todd, let’s not worry about where you’re going to live right now. Once you know where you’re working then we’ll discuss it.”
His mother added, “We like it that you live out here, near us.”
“I know.” Todd put his hands in his pockets and looked at his parents and his boyhood home. The closing of the shelter was naturally causing Todd to think about things he had never been required to consider. Bit by bit his notion of where and how he best fit into the world was shifting. Over the last year or so, particularly since he had moved into Thorne’s cabin and grown closer to Laura, Todd had begun to distinguish his home from his parents’ home. Moving back in with his parents would not be a move in the right direction. He wanted to move forward.
Todd turned to George and Mary Ann and said, “I’m going back to my cabin.” He leaned over and patted the old sleeping Lab on his head. “Good night, Christmas.”
Todd got in his truck and drove down the hill. Once inside his cabin, he turned on the evening news so he could catch his favorite segment on the Channel Six News: Brenda Williams, the Problem Solver. There was no cable service in this rural part of Kansas, but Todd had splurged on a satellite dish and with it he got three “local” channels from over a hundred miles away in Kansas City. Most of his attention was on national fare, like Animal Planet (and whatever else he could find that focused on dog training or care), but in the evenings he liked the ritual of watching the local news from the big city down the road.
A Christmas Home: A Novel Page 6