by Piper Frost
It takes a minute for me to wake up and realize I must be starving because I was dreaming about homemade breakfast and sitting down with Garrison and Donna like a happy little family. When I blink open my eyes, Brandt's sitting on the edge of my bed with a plate full of food. I knew I didn't dream that delicious smell! I sit up and squint, looking for the clock.
"Why are you just sitting there?" I complain before stretching, hating I'm awake right now.
"Two reasons," he mutters. "One, because the room's kinda spinning. Or maybe I'm gonna puke." He nods, and takes a breath. "And two, because I'm terrible at apologies. But I owe you at least one." He holds out a piece of toast. "I peanut buttered your toast for you."
I chuckle and don't hesitate to take it. "Thanks, but why are you apologizing?" I nibble on the toasted bread that has gold spread across it. God, I love peanut butter.
"I was a jerk last night. When you told me that you..." He nods toward me. "You know. I kinda lost it. Didn't react very nicely and I'm sorry about that."
"Don't worry about that shit, okay?" I roll my eyes, wishing I didn't tell him. "How's that hangover though?" I chuckle, hoping to change the subject.
He shifts on the bed and looks at me with his brows furrowed. "I'll worry about what I want to worry about, Jo. And lately I've been worrying about you. A lot." He shakes his head and rubs his hair. "You've been through so much shit, and you're not even that much older than me. I can't imagine living through what you have."
"Well I did live through it and you didn't have to. You didn't have the life I did. It's no big deal. You get it? I try not to think about this shit. Don't make me start hating Donna again just when I started tolerating her. Just forget about that shit. Let it go."
He nods and rests his hand on my leg. "I'll try not to. But I can't promise it."
"Yeah, so." I pull my leg from his hand and bend my knees, hugging my legs to my chest. "Maybe we should dial this back some?"
"Not happening." He pulls my leg back and takes the other with it, setting both across his lap as he shifts on the bed. "You're under my skin, city girl. You can't get rid of me that easily." He traces his fingers along my shin, deep in thought.
"I wish I wanted to." It was the last thing I wanted to say out loud but it's out and I need to own up to it.
"Yeah." He sighs. "It'd be a hell of a lot easier." His fingers slowly trail up my leg, past my knee and a smirk plays on those sexy lips. Brandt’s full lips probably make girls jealous.
"Yeah." I try to hold back the shudder that makes my clit start to tingle, but his fingers keep going higher and my legs start to spread on their own accord.
"That wouldn't be much fun though, would it?" His tone's gotten deeper and he shifts on the bed, crawling up my body and my legs wrap around him.
"God no," I whisper and slowly slide my finger over his split lip before wrapping my hands to the back of his head.
He gently pushes his lips to mine, letting his hand snake under my shirt and when his fingers find my nipple, he pinches. Hard.
"Shit, Brandt." I gasp and drop my head back then remember how Donna likes to casually stroll into Brandt's house. "Door!" I blurt. "Lock the doors."
He lets out this deep, sexy chuckle and dips his head, letting his tongue slide around my nipple. "I locked us down on my way in. No one's getting in here, Jo." He pulls my shirt over my head and tosses it to the floor, then groans in approval. "How's it feelin’?" His fingers trail along the edge of the bandage he put on my side yesterday.
"It's fine," I promise, carefully kissing his lips again. I start unbuttoning his flannel, annoyed he even came in here with this many clothes on because we need to finish what we started yesterday. If we don't, I might die. Letting out a frustrated groan because it feels like I've been unbuttoning forever, I drop my hands. "Strip." I lock eyes with his.
He chuckles, then stands from the bed and yanks his shirt over his head. The rest of his clothes quickly follow. "Tit for tat," he says, nodding at my shorts.
I grab his flannel that's hanging off the bed and blurt, "Mine," quickly sniffing it then shoving it under my pillow before popping to my knees. I wiggle my shorts down, going much slower than he did. Apparently he doesn't like it because he reaches out and yanks them, making me fall to the bed. "Impatient." I laugh, staring up at him and trying not to let my fears take over. Fears like I like this guy too much and he's the last person I should have these feelings for.
He bends over and his hand goes between my legs. His fingers slightly push into me and his palm presses against my clit. "Mine." He slides his fingers deeper and leans down, latching onto my nipple with his teeth again.
My eyes go wide but he can't see my face so I try to disguise the surprise and the need to protest, because I'd be lying if I said I didn't like what he just said. When his fingers pull out and he rubs against that spot, I get over it and moan, twisting my fingers in the sheet.
"How many," I pant, not able to go on because he did it again. "Brandt," I moan, "How many people have you slept with?" I open my eyes to meet his gaze as he's staring at me, a little confused why I asked.
And I couldn't fucking tell you why I did. Why I care. Or why I'm feeling jealous suddenly because it hasn't only been me. But I don't relent. I want my answer.
"Does that really matter?" His fingers pause and he raises an eyebrow at me. "Right now, in this moment, does it really matter, Jo?" He gives his fingers a slight curl and he hits that spot again.
"Fuck." My body contorts and I lose eye contact with him while I clamp onto his wrist. It matters, but I don't know why. "Don't stop," I beg him, blindly reaching out for his cock while he rubs the ridges inside of me like he's done this a million times to a thousand girls.
My eyes spring wide again and I think I've lost my mind. I've never, in my life had these issues before.
"Somethin' wrong, city girl?" He pulls his fingers out and rubs wet circles around my clit, then delves them back inside of me. I stroke his dick and he groans, his eyes closing briefly when I get a good rhythm.
Sitting up, I push down on his hand as I reach my mouth for his dick and suck on the tip before licking down to his balls and back again, making eye contact. I do it a few more times before moving his hand and sliding to the floor, on my knees. Gripping his cock with both hands, I stroke him and hold eye contact.
"Fuck my mouth." I slowly sink over the tip of him.
"Goddamn," he huffs, taking a fist full of my hair and thrusts his hips. "Hell," he murmurs, watching me swallow him. His grip on my hair is tight; firm yet still gentle. He groans again when I slide him to the back of my throat. "I'm not gonna last long with a mouth like that."
As much as I want to taste him, I need to get fucked so I stop and stand, leaning over the side of the bed and look over my shoulder at him while I reach down and spread myself open for him. "Fuck me."
He grins then grips my hips and tosses me back on the bed. "Not like that, sweetheart." Grabbing a condom from the drawer, he nods at it. "Should I do the honors or you have some weird condom fetish you need to feed right now?" He rips the package open.
I yank it from his hand. "Asshole." The condom slides over his cock and I’m not sure I'll ever get over touching him like this. It's a little far-fetched we're even in this situation right now. "No fetish, I just really need you to fuck me, farm boy."
He pushes his lips to mine and crawls over me. My legs spread and we lock eyes as he pushes against me. Taking a deep breath, he rests his forehead on mine and slides all the way in then lets out a groan.
"Holy hell, Jo," he pants.
I haven't had sex in over seven months. I haven't enjoyed sex in probably a couple years. I'm fucking in heaven right now and this stupid boy is making this way too difficult. This wasn't for a connection; this was for the taboo of it, for the thrill of pissing off our parents. My brain is jumbling things and making me think things I shouldn't.
"Yeah," I whisper, wishing I could look away from him but he makes ever
ything comfortable while demanding my attention.
Because I have insecurities and issues, I always think the person I'm with would rather be somewhere else. But that's not the look on Brandt's face right now as he slowly sinks inside me then retreats, over and over. His thrusts start cautious before he speeds up, but he’s still gentle. He's not taking what he wants. He's giving way too much attention to making sure what I want is being given.
"God, Jo," he pants then sits up and grins down at me, his calloused hands on my thighs as he watches his cock slide in and out of me. "That's hot." He lifts my legs to reach deeper. "Holy shit."
I clamp my lip and whimper as his thrusts deepen and the completely unexpected starts to happen. I've never had an orgasm controlled by someone else. My eyes go wide and I look at him almost like I should ask him to stop because this is too much. Way too much. As I start to freak out from the sensation swirling in my belly down to my pussy, I shake my head no and clamp my teeth down on my hand to keep from screaming as heat flushes through me and bursts into tingles. My hips start to shake and I feel like I just lost all brain functionality from the insane burst.
Brandt pumps into me a few more times before his own release. The words that fly from that beautiful mouth aren't words for outside the bedroom, and it's shocking a person like him would even say any of it, but damn if I didn’t like it. He bends and presses his lips to mine before catching his breath and climbing off the bed to discard the condom.
When he returns, I'm still in the same spot. Unable to move after the intensity. He crawls in bed and scoops me next to him, wrapping his arms around me and kissing my neck.
I lay here as stiff as a board because there's stupid thoughts going through my head right now and I need to calm down before I say anything. When he starts to pull at me like he's wondering why I won't embrace him, I slowly shift to face him. My eyes drop to his lip that's a little red from the kissing and I gently touch it.
"Does it hurt?" I whisper, instead of saying the words 'I think I love you'. This is crazy to feel like this so quickly but it feels right.
"Nah.” He closes his eyes. "Can we just sleep for a bit?" He's probably still hungover from last night.
When he shifts and slides his arm under my neck, he's not really giving me any options but to move closer to him. I adjust, pressing myself up against a body I've never even seen in person before him. Even if I never get used to this, I don’t ever want it to stop.
"I'm always down for a nap." I quietly chuckle, kissing his chest.
The fact this feels so good kind of makes me worry. Let's face some facts here. I'm an addict. I become dependent on things, and I don't think it'd be much different if the object were a person. There are a lot of factors that are making me fall for Brandt pretty damn fast. The first, he actually wants to be around me. The second is he's hot as sin and I'm the biggest sinner I know. The third, kind of goes with the first, but he actually seems to be into me. I'm not naïve, I've slept with people just to get attention, but I knew all I was back then was a warm hole to them. I was thinking maybe that was the case with Brandt, but the way he looks at me makes it seem like he's happy to be looking. What we're doing isn't wrong in the minor spectrum of things. In the grand scheme of it all, he's my step brother and our parents expect us to act like it. Unfortunately my heart wasn't up to par with my kinkiness, because I was getting a thrill from it being taboo. Yeah, well, falling in love with your step brother isn't the kind of taboo I was going for.
When I wake from my nap, Brandt's not in the bed, and Donna's calling the phone she bought me.
"Mom," I grumble, not meaning to call her that but I'm half asleep.
"Oh, Jo." She sighs. "Are you sleeping again?"
"I'm washing clothes." That's the first lie that came to mind and I close my eyes while she giggles.
"Sounds like you're sleepin' in the washin' machine! Listen, honey, before you say no, hear me out. Brandt and Garrison are going a few towns over and they're gonna be gone for the next night and a half. I was thinkin' me and you could take a little girls’ trip for the week?"
I sit up and look at my bed where Brandt had been sleeping and frown. He left without saying anything.
"Where?" I ask, meaning where'd Brandt go.
"There's this convention in Sable Creek and it's a bunch of arts and crafts. I really think you'll like it. Sable Creek’s 'bout five hours from here and I usually meet up with the gals and we go, but I thought it'd be fun just me and you."
I sigh. She's dreaming if she thinks I'm gonna do this.
"There's a spa. Wine tasting. An intricate food tasting festival. All paid for already, Jo. You just have to get on board."
"I really don't think that's my kind of thing," I tell her with no regret.
"I thought you might say that," she says with a tinge of disappointment. "That's okay, I'll skip this year."
"Why don't you just go?" I rub my face and look at the empty spot Brandt had been.
"Well, honey." She takes a deep breath. "With Garrison gone, and me gone...we're just not comfortable leaving you on the land alone yet."
My brows raise and I'm not sure if I'm offended or proud she actually said that.
"I'm sorry, Jolene," she whispers.
"Are you at your house? I mean this house? Just next door?"
"Yes." She chuckles. "I didn't want to be bothering you in case you were napping."
That's even more shocking and I start to feel guilty. Guilt is not an emotion I ever feel. Especially for this woman! Why am I feeling it now?
"I'll go," I grumble and she immediately shrieks in excitement.
What better way to try and get over the intense feelings I have for Brandt than by staying away from him? I have to realize this isn't love, this is addiction due to the positive attention he pays me.
As Donna and I are heading out, I get a text from him.
Brandt the farmer: I didn't wanna wake you up but one of the steers got sick and I had to go with my dad a few towns over. I won't be home tonight. See you tomorrow tho : )
Yeah...about that.
City girl: Me and Donna are doing 'girls week' so I'm gonna be gone a few days. Maybe never even come back because I don't think Garrison will take kindly to me murdering his wife and burying her in the middle of farmland. I can't believe I signed up for this.
Brandt the farmer: Whoa! You sick or somethin? ; )
I snort and shake my head before closing my eyes.
I don't actually get to nap because Donna starts singing along with some shit on the radio and her voice is distracting. Here comes the country sensation.
If Donna didn't spend a couple grand on me alone, I could say these past five days have sucked. But she spent, and spent, and I thought I could break her, but she just happily pulled out credit card after credit card. At one point, she gave me a credit card and told me to buy whatever I wanted at this flea market convention thing. There was some cool stuff, but I've never seen so many dream catchers in my life. The time away was kind of nice, but getting Brandt off my mind was damn near impossible. He texted a few times and if I didn't ignore him, I gave him short answers even when all I wanted to do was lounge in that spa all day and talk to him. It's sick the way he's made me feel this dependent. It's not his fault, but I need to end it. I repeated the words ‘I’m just another hole' probably over a hundred times in my head whenever I thought about him.
"You need anything at home, Jo?" Donna asks. "I gotta stop in town before we make it home."
"I could probably use a few things." My thoughts go to how much peanut butter we have. Then to wondering what Brandt's doing. Wondering what awful country get-up he's wearing that makes me tingle in spots it shouldn't. My addiction is a habit I'm not sure I'll be able to kick. With any luck, he'll kind of be over me and maybe he'll just leave me alone.
I glance at the text he sent this morning that started with a picture of him lying in his bed, shirtless, he’d just woken up. He's complete opposite to what I
've ever been attracted to. I shouldn't say that; what I mean is he's opposite to any of the guys I've ever been with. I've ever pursued to score. He's sexy. That's not a word I've ever used to describe someone, but Brandt is damn sexy. My sexy fucking step brother...as Donna has reminded me this entire week. I don't even think she used his name, she's just called him 'your step brother' or 'your brother'. The text 'I miss you. Never noticed before, but the house is lonely' seems to be in bold as I stare at it. I haven't responded to any of these types of texts. I've been trying hard not to respond at all, but I kept needing a Brandt fix.
"Your brother need anything? You want to give him a call?" Donna asks as she parks.
"Brandt probably has everything he needs. He's got his own car."
"You want a car, honey?" she blurts and I look over at her with eyebrows high.
"Uh." I shrug. "Not really. I guess. I need one. I need a job. I can buy my own car."
"Don't be silly, Jo. I'm your mom, it's my job to take care of you."
I snort and when she glances at me, I turn my head so she can't see my eyes roll.
"Yeah, Donna, buy me a car." I get out, not really expecting her to buy me a car. It's her own stupid choice if she does.
Donna goes into the store and I hang back, pulling my phone out to see if Brandt's text again, even though I know he hasn't. The rumble of a few motorcycles makes me look up and it's too late before I realize it's Cash and his crew. When I turn to go into the store, someone grabs my arm and as I fight to get away, I fall to my ass.
"I'll scream," I threaten and he laughs. I don't know who this kid is, but it's not Cash.
"Calm down, Jo." He yanks me up and I shove him.
"Fuck you!" I glance around, but there's no one other than Cash and his fuck-head friends.
"Cash just wants to apologize."