Harley Quinn at Super Hero High (DC Super Hero Girls)

by Lisa Yee

  As Harley made her way past Katana and Frost holding hands and running under a shower of flower petals in the Orchid Zone, she paused. It was so cool that Supers who normally didn’t hang out together were having fun here.

  That was when she saw him. The elusive Jervis “J.J.” Tetch. Only, someone else was about to interview him first!

  The reporter was just getting into position. She had checked her notes and made sure the microphone was on. But before she could say, “Lois Lane here with Jervis ‘J.J.’—” she was blindsided by a flurry of red and blue and black and white hurdling toward her.

  “Harley?” Lois said, just before she ducked.

  Harley had leapt over her and was now standing right next to the new owner of Krazy Karnival. With her back to Lois, Harley launched right into her interview.

  “Hi, J.J. Tetch. You don’t mind if I call you J.J., do you, J.J.?” Harley asked. “I’m—”

  “Everyone knows who you are,” said J.J. He was all smiles. “You’re Harley Quinn of Harley’s Quinntessentials. I’m your biggest fan!”

  “I am? Um…you are?” she asked. “So nice of you! Hey, how about an exclusive interview? My fans wanna hear all about this Krazy Karnival of yours!”

  He looked over at Lois, who shrugged as if to say, “Go ahead.”

  “Well, all right,” J.J. said, handing Harley a jumbo whirly-swirly rainbow lollipop. “Anything for you, Miss Quinn.”

  Harley was beaming. This J.J. fellow was the nicest, smartest person in the world, she decided. “So, J.J.,” she began, “can you tell my maybe millions and zillions of viewers why you bought this famous amusement park?”

  He straightened his massive hat, which had a habit of tilting to the right. “My goal is to bring happiness and fun to the world,” he said. Harley nodded so much holding her camera that it looked like he was jumping up and down. “The Krazy Karnival was up for sale—the last owner, who ran it for fifty years, decided to retire. So I bought it!”

  There was a crowd gathered behind them, waving to the camera.

  “Tell us more,” Harley urged.

  “Well, this is the best Krazy Karnival ever,” J.J. boasted with a sweep of his hand. His cheeks flushed red with delight. “It’s got new rides as well as hip and healthy new foods, with some new twists on old favorites,” he added, “like corn on the cob that pops into popcorn, and funny funnel cakes!”

  “Funny funnel cakes?” Harley enthused as they started walking. “I love funny, and I love funnel cakes!”

  Just then a group of teens wandered past. “Hey! Hey!” J.J. called out. “It’s the famous Green Team, thrill-seekers and adventurers. I was hoping you’d be here. We made special hats just for you,” he said cheerfully. He motioned to some of his workers, who promptly hauled a box of hats over to the carnival owner. “Try them on for size!”

  As the Green Team put on their green-and-black bowler hats, Harley whispered to the camera, “So far it’s been all talk, but now—fingers crossed—maybe J.J. will give us a behind-the-scenes tour….”

  “Have fun, Green Team,” J.J. was saying as he waved goodbye to them. He turned to Harley. “How about a tour?”

  Harley winked at the camera. “It’s like he was reading my mind!” she exclaimed.

  Just as J.J. took the lead, he stopped to adjust Captain Cold’s pirate hat. “That’s better. This really suits you.”

  “Thanks,” Captain Cold said, offering him a smile that was uncharacter­istically warm and pleasant. The rest of his Cap’n Cold and Crew heavy metal band giggled. “Nice amusement park you have here, Mr. Tetch, sir,” Captain Cold continued. “I love it! And, Harley, we adore your Web channel! Can’t wait for the Battle of the Bands. Krazy Karnival is the perfect place for it. I want to wish everyone good luck!”

  “You heard that right here,” Harley said to the camera. “Even Captain Cold loves Harley’s Quinntessentials, and he’s not the easiest person on the planet to please!”

  “You’re hosting a Battle of the Bands here?” J.J. asked, looking pleased. “At my modest little amusement park? I’m honored!”

  “WOWZA, YOWZA, I thought you’d like that,” Harley said to J.J. She watched as the gang from CAD Academy went their way, whistling and waving to those they passed, then noted: “Captain Cold sure is in a good mood. I’ve never seen him like that before.”

  “Oh, Harley, my dear,” J.J. said. His eyes were moist. “You don’t get it, do you?”

  “Get what?” They passed another towering Sweet Treats stand, and he handed her an edible candy cup filled with the most delicious double-dipped chocolate berries she had ever tasted.

  “It’s you who people love. He was responding to your effervescence. It’s why the masses tune in to your Web channel. To see you, Miss Quinn. They love you!”

  Harley felt her face flush. She wondered if he was right. Was everyone watching her? Everyone at home? Everyone at school? A lot of times she’d have a really awesome segment, but Wonder Woman or some of the others would miss it.

  “Sorry, Harley, I was doing homework,” Batgirl would say.

  “Did I miss a segment?” Poison Ivy would ask. “Chompy needed attention.”

  “Harley, you’re always on, and I got stuff I gotta do,” Beast Boy would tell her. “But I’ll try to catch up.”

  “They love me?” Harley repeated. “Aww, J.J., you’re such a joker. But if you want to say it again, Harley’s not gonna stop you!”

  He laughed good-naturedly. “Harley, I’ve got a great idea that could benefit us both! But first, I have some business to attend to. I’ll give you an exclusive interview shortly, but in the meantime, why don’t we get you one of my famous Krazy Karnival hats?” He looked around. His carnival workers were everywhere. Harley thought some of them looked familiar. “M.M.!” he called. “A hat for Ms. Quinn. You must have missed her when she came in!”

  “So sorry, sir!” the muscled man in the yellow costume with a green mask said. “I’ll make sure Harley Quinn gets a hat!”

  As he hurried away, J.J. ran after him. “Wait up!” he cried. “Not just any hat. I want to make sure Ms. Quinn gets one of our super-special ones!”

  Harley beamed. This was fun, fun, fun!

  As fun as it would be to have her own super-special hat, Harley didn’t have the patience to wait around. There were rides to go on, and games to play, and treats to eat, and…and…As she raced past the Ukulele United band cheering each other on at the Wheeeee Skeeeeeball game, Harley pivoted and doubled back. Something green had caught her eye.

  “Why are you just sitting there?” she asked a glum Miss Martian.

  Nearby, Batgirl was at the Magic Donut Maker, watching eagerly as it shot free fresh hot mini-doughnuts into the crowd. “Me next! Me next!” Batgirl called out, jumping up and down, waving both hands.

  Miss Martian closed her eyes and brought her fingertips to her temple. “My headache is getting worse,” she said. One of the flowers on her hat was drooping over the front of her face. “Maybe I should just go back to the dorm and take a nap.”

  “And miss all the fun?” Harley asked. “You don’t want to do that.”

  Miss Martian shook her head. “I do want to stay, but this headache is crushing me.”

  “Maybe you should look for Poison Ivy,” Harley suggested. “She always knows what to do when someone is feeling a little blue. And your face is all blue right now. Here, look.” She held out her hand mirror.

  “Can you stay with me?” Miss Martian asked. She didn’t like what she saw in the mirror. “I don’t feel like being alone right now. This place is too crowded.”

  “But if it’s crowded, you aren’t alone,” Harley reasoned.

  “Never mind,” Miss Martian said. Harley could see her disappearing as she began to walk away.

  “Miss Martian, wait!” Harley called after her. Even though she didn’t want to miss a minute of fun, her friend needed her. “Let’s look for Ivy together.”

  “Have you seen Poison Ivy?
” Harley asked Bumblebee. She paused. “You and Miss Martian are supposed to be having a great time like everyone else, but instead you’re acting like worrywarts!”

  “I’m getting a strange feeling about this place,” Bumblebee said. All the flowers on Miss Martian’s hat wilted, making it look like it was melting. “Um, maybe you should ditch the hat,” she suggested.

  Miss Martian reached up. “But I love this hat. It was a gift.”

  Harley studied the hat. “It’s looking goopy, which is kinda Krazy-awesome!”

  Reluctantly, Miss Martian took off her hat. She took a deep cleansing breath. “I’m starting to feel better already,” she said, surprised.

  Bumblebee lowered her voice. “Have you two noticed how weird everyone is acting?”

  “Weird? No,” said Harley. “It’s Krazy Karnival time, and everyone’s in a great mood.”

  “Yeah, and what about those kids from CAD Academy?” Bumblebee said.

  “What about them? Captain Cold’s been really nice,” Harley pointed out.

  “Exactly!” said Bumblebee. “When have you ever known him to be nice?”

  Harley hesitated. “Uh, never?” Then she lit up. “That’s the power of the Krazy Karnival!”

  Just then a familiar group of teens brushed past. “Hey, Green Team?” Harley yelled. “Where are you going? You’re heading the wrong way. That’s the exit!”

  They all stared straight ahead as they kept walking. Lois Lane raced after them as they left the amusement park. “How about an interview?” she asked.

  “Um, Harley?” Miss Martian said, tapping her on the shoulder. “Harley? Um, Harley, look!”

  Harley followed Miss Martian’s gaze. Bumblebee was staring at the same thing. Harley whipped out her camera. “It’s a Harley’s Quinntessentials exclusive!” she cried. She aimed the camera toward the sky, unable to believe what was happening.

  Everyone was gawking with their heads tilted up. Everyone but Bumblebee, who was now flying around warning people: “Something is wrong, something is very wrong!”

  “Nothing’s wrong,” Beast Boy said, smiling. “Everything’s great!”

  “Yes, everything is lovely,” Cheetah insisted as she adjusted her beret.

  “She’s right,” said Katana. “Cheetah’s right again!”

  “Look!” Bumblebee cried, pointing at the Bubble Machine.

  “Whatever is happening, you’re seeing it here first!” Harley told her viewers. “And so is the rest of the world, because we’re broadcasting live on Harley’s Quinntessentials!”

  “This is not good,” Miss Martian warned.

  “It’s not good, it’s great!” said The Flash.

  The others agreed. All around, Krazy Karnival guests were watching the High-Tetch Bubble Machine. Small bubbles had given way to one gigantic bubble…and it kept getting bigger and bigger.

  “So pretty,” said Frost, sighing.

  Ratcatcher was crying and didn’t care who saw him. “The beauty of it!” he said as Captain Cold nodded in agreement.

  Bumblebee and Miss Martian glanced at each other as Harley kept her camera on. “Viewers, I’m not sure what we’re seeing here at Krazy Karnival,” she reported, “but it’s crazy, all right, and I’m certain the carnival’s breaking a new world record for the biggest bubble.”

  By now it was covering the entire Krazy Karnival, and closing up to encase it—making it look like everyone was inside a giant dome. The bigger it got, the happier everyone was. When it sealed shut, all the guests started cheering and clapping.

  “No, no!” Bumblebee shouted. “Don’t you see? We’re trapped in here!”

  “I’ve got the exclusive,” Harley proclaimed. “That’s right, world, something weird is going on at Krazy Karnival, and to find out what it is, stay tuned right here on Harley’s Quinntessentials!”

  Miss Martian shook her head. “This is bad. Really bad,” she said before turning invisible.

  “No!” Bumblebee shouted. But no one paid attention to her. “No, something’s wrong.”

  Amused, Harley recorded her using her blasters to try to penetrate the bubble. “We’re trapped!” Bumblebee cried. “The bubble has created a barrier to the outside world.”

  Harley tossed her mallet up high into the air. It made a klunk when it hit the bubble. “It’s totally solid!” she said admiringly.

  “It’s not right,” Miss Martian said, barely audible. Harley could hardly see her. “And neither is anyone here. They’re not themselves!”

  “We’re happy here!” said Hawkgirl as she twirled past them with her arms out to her sides. She was wearing a colorful Viking helmet. “Why break the bubble when we can stay and have fun?”

  “That’s right,” Thunder and Lightning chimed in as they executed silly synchronized-swim moves to imaginary music. Their fluffy cloud-shaped hats looked the same, but on closer inspection, one was cirrus and one was cumulus. “There’s no better place to be than at Krazy Karnival right now,” the sisters said in unison.

  “I totally agree with that,” Batgirl said, adjusting the rainbow-colored mortarboard on her head.

  “Hey, can you guys help me try to break this bubble?” Bumblebee asked.

  “Whatever for?” said Wonder Woman. She was wearing an oversized bonnet festooned with feathers. “It looks so cool!”

  “ ’Cause it will be fun to try?” Bumblebee said.

  “Fun!” shouted Wonder Woman. “I’m up for that. I love fun!”

  But when Wonder Woman tried to break the bubble, she couldn’t. Nor could Supergirl, or Cyborg, or anyone else—though it didn’t look like they were trying very hard. In fact, it looked like they were goofing off.

  “It’s totally solid!” Harley reported. “I guess we’ll just have to stay and have fun!” Adding, “Reporting live from inside the bubble.”

  “I’ve got a bad feeling about this,” Bumblebee kept saying.

  Miss Martian, barely visible, nodded. The carnival workers were now leaving their posts. Rides went unattended. Some attractions, like the Tilt-a-Whirl, were spinning faster and faster, to the delight of the riders. Guests helped themselves to the food carts, and others were grabbing armfuls of prizes in the Game Zone.

  “Excuse me. Um, excuse me?” Miss Martian said to Silver Swan. “Should you really be leaving the Tunnel of Love when there are still people inside? You work there, right?”

  Silver Swan adjusted the feathered crown on her head and flapped her wings. “I’m on my break,” she replied. “No one tells me what to do. Well, almost no one…”

  “But it’s dark in the Tunnel of Love and it might not be safe. What if the ride goes off the rails?” Miss Martian asked.

  “We’ll have to deal with that when it happens, then, won’t we?” Silver Swan winked at her before flying off to join Cupid, who was abandoning her post at the Slings and Arrows game.

  Miss Martian was speechless as chaos began to consume the amusement park.

  “This is so exciting,” Harley said, swinging her camera left and right, up and down, to get all the angles. She was glad they had placed cameras everywhere, and cut to other scenes using her remote video control board.

  “Slow down. I’m trying to—” Miss Martian pleaded. “I can’t read anyone’s mind. Please slow down!”

  Harley stopped. “Wait,” she said, as if hit by a wayward thought. “I thought you only read minds if you thought lives might be in danger.”

  “I don’t know what’s happening,” Miss Martian said. “But whatever it is, it’s not normal. Look!”

  Harley swung around to see Cyborg and Big Barda scrambling up the side of the Ferris wheel while it was still moving. The massive steel structure was several stories high and circling nonstop.

  “Look at me!” Cyborg yelled as he hung off one of the passenger cars hundreds of feet in the air.

  “That looks like fun!” Barda shouted. “Wait for me!”

  Harley gasped as Barda leapt from one of the moving passenger cars to an
other. “We’re loopy!” she shouted as the Ferris wheel continued to spin.

  “Faster, faster!” Cyborg urged Supergirl, who was in the air twirling the ride as if it were a pinwheel.

  The kids in the passenger cars were squealing with joy.

  Suddenly, something cold hit Harley in the head. “Hey!” she yelled, expecting to see Captain Cold or Frost. Instead, Mandy Bowin was standing behind her holding an empty ice cream cone.

  “Oops!” Mandy said, giggling. “Sorry!” she yelled as she ran away and joined Hawkgirl, who handed her another cone and said, “Okay, now this time hit Cheetah!”

  Harley laughed as she followed them toward an unsuspecting Cheetah. This was sure to be a classic for her “Super Hero Goofs and Giggles” segment. On her way, Harley passed Batgirl stuffing her face with fried candy bars. Batgirl had even stockpiled a bunch of them on top of her hat and was balancing them as she strode purposefully back toward the Magic Donut Maker.

  “Hey, Batgirl,” Harley called out. “How many viewers are watching right now?”

  Batgirl wobbled as she came to a stop, continuing to balance her sugary load. “Wait, look at this!” she said. Her hat almost fell off, but she pulled it on tighter. Everyone gathered around as Batgirl projected the screen into the air from her Bat-phone.

  “This is Lois Lane reporting live from downtown Metropolis,” she was saying. “Multiple robberies are happening all over the city. There would probably be even more if there weren’t so many citizens at the Krazy Karnival. As for the perpetrators, all evidence points to the Green Team, a group of teens wearing green bowler hats. No one is safe with them on the loose,” Lois continued. “Commissioner Gordon and his police have been called in and are doing all they can. However, they could really use the help of the super heroes from Super Hero High!”

  “We’re trapped!” shouted Miss Martian from inside the bubble. “We’re trapped!”