Cooper and I turned to face each other at the same time and practically stepped on one another’s toes in the process. We were so close I actually felt the tip of my nose brush up against his shirt. He placed his hands on my shoulders, and I was aware of his gaze, but couldn’t bring myself to look up and meet his eyes. The familiar scent of his clean skin and woodsy cologne gave me pangs of nostalgia and sadness.
We stood silent, enveloped by the sounds of traffic on the street. Cars honked and scooters whizzed by while I watched Cooper’s shirt move to the rhythm of his breath. I closed my eyes and inhaled deeply. Despite all the food we’d just consumed, his breath managed to smell like mint. I, on the other hand, could still taste the remnants of garlic in my own mouth. I pursed my lips and took a step back.
Cooper released his grasp on my shoulders and reached a hand down to take a hold of one of mine. The intimacy of his touch caused my lip to tremble. I pressed my fingers on my lips and looked away.
“I know,” he whispered, giving my hand a squeeze. “I feel it too.”
I looked into his eyes and felt my nose sting with emotion. “Cooper, it’s been fun chatting with you, but I can’t just pretend like nothing ever happened.”
“Luce, don’t you think I know that? I’ve been dreading this moment all day.” Cooper closed his eyes and rubbed his forehead. “I even rehearsed what I was going to say to you in the mirror.”
I fought an overwhelming desire to laugh out loud.
“It’s true,” he said with a shrug. “But in all seriousness, Luce, no rehearsal in the world could have prepared me for the way I feel right now. Seeing you makes me feel like shit. Absolute shit.” He grimaced and clenched his fists. “How could I have hurt you so badly?”
I gritted my teeth and shrugged my shoulders. “Only you can answer that one, Cooper. Why didn’t you call me sooner? If I hadn’t called you...”
“I’m so glad you did,” he exclaimed. “Honestly, I didn’t think you’d ever want to hear from me again,” he said with a groan. “Everyone in your world must hate me.” Cooper shook his head sadly.
I wasn’t sure how to respond to that one. They did.
“Would you even consider taking me back, knowing people may think you’re crazy for giving me a second chance?”
“Cooper, have you met me? People’s reactions are the least of my concerns.” I shook my head with exasperation. “I don’t give a crap what people have to say, and yet that’s all you seem to care about. You’ve mentioned people’s opinions of you, people’s opinions of me taking you back ... to hell with people.”
Cooper forced his hands into his pockets and let his shoulders slouch as he stared back at me.
“Wasn’t that the reason you broke up with me in the first place?” I continued. “Because God forbid, people thought we were flawed by our, no I’m sorry, my inability to produce a child? Who are these people that have so much power over you? You’re like a one-man government, ruled by the goddamned people.”
I sighed loudly and rolled my eyes. My head was pounding, but I just had to know one thing immediately. “Tell me something, Cooper. Has anything changed?” I said pointedly. “Do you still feel the way you did about the baby thing?” My eyes filled with tears.
“No,” he exclaimed. “Not at all. I was stupid. I think I just freaked out and that was my pathetic way of dealing with the news. Now that I know what life without you is like, it really doesn’t matter to me as much. I don’t need to have a baby.”
“No, you aren’t getting it.” My heart hammered in my chest as I placed a firm grip on his arm. “I do need to have a baby.”
He had a bewildered look in his eyes. “But you can’t. We can’t.”
“Oh, I will,” I said with conviction. “And if you’re lucky enough to be a part of it, will you be able to face your ‘people’,” I said making air-quotes, “with the shocking news that we aren’t perfect? That your wife is flawed?”
Cooper drew in a sharp breath and pressed his lips together. I clasped my shaking hands while I waited for his response.
He tilted my chin up and locked my eyes with his. “Listen to me Luce. You’re far from flawed. And I am so sorry I made you feel otherwise.”
I nodded and chewed the bottom of my trembling lip.
“Really. You’re absolutely right. There are plenty of other ways to have a family. I’m sorry it took me so long to understand and accept that.”
My body trembled with excitement. Maybe he had changed.
“Right,” I said. “I know it’s not ideal, but think of all the kids out there who need a mom and dad.”
A flicker of surprise crossed Cooper’s face. “True. But like I said, there are other ways to have a family. A guy at the office just had twins through a surrogate mother and egg donor. It was all his sperm, though, his flesh and blood.” He paused, and looked at me with an eyebrow raised. “You’d really want to adopt?”
My eyes practically bulged out of my head. “Why not?” I demanded.
“I don’t know. Do you really think you can ever love someone else’s baby?”
“Someone else’s baby? It would be our baby. I’d be the mother. You’d be the father.”
“Right. That’s what I meant,” he said, rather unconvincingly.
“So now you’re asking if I could ever love our baby? Okay...” I trailed off and curled my lip. “Cooper, I will love whatever God gives me.”
Cooper ran his hands through his hair and exhaled. “Did you ever consider becoming a lawyer? You’re really making me nervous.” He used the back of his hand to wipe the beads of sweat that had formed on his upper lip. “I hear what you’re saying, and I’m sorry.”
I folded my arms across my chest and tapped my fingers.
He reached over and gave my shoulder a squeeze. “Relax. We’re just talking. It’s not like we’re anywhere close to that point.”
“You can say that again, but to even get close to that point, I really need to know how you feel about this.” Hysteria began rising within me.
“When we get back together...” Cooper began.
“If we get back together,” I corrected.
Cooper placed a finger on my lips to silence me. “If you forgive me, and if we get back together, then yes, we will adopt as many kids as you like,” he said in a gentle voice. “You have my word.”
I know I’d told myself to play it cool, but that didn’t seem to stop the corners of my mouth from turning up. What happened to the bitch in the mirror?
Cooper pulled me close and I stiffened as we came together. He planted a kiss on the top of my head, and I let my body relax as I leaned against him.
The vehicles on the street slowed down next to us when they stopped for the red light. The hum of the idling cars seemed to match the pace of my brain waves. It was almost as if my running thoughts had also ceased with the traffic. At least for now, for the first time in months, my racing mind was finally at a standstill.
Chapter Fourteen
Woo is me!
Facebook Status June 13 at 10:00am
The next morning, I woke up way too early, feeling excessively thirsty from dinner the night before. I reached for the bottle of Pellegrino that sat on my nightstand and thought about Cooper as I chugged the lukewarm water.
The last thing he had said when we parted ways was that he promised to leave his BlackBerry back in the room if we met up first thing in the morning. I wasn’t sure what amazed me more, his pledge to leave work behind or that I really looked forward to seeing him again so soon.
My mind flashed back to the quick peck he’d given my cheek when we said good night in his hotel’s lobby after our after-dinner walk. Despite the embrace we’d shared on the street, the kiss wasn’t any different than the way he kissed his grandmother, and I was also surprised that I didn’t want it any other way. Was I scared? Taking it slow? Playing hard to get?
Whatever the reason, now that the initial date was out of the way, I could honestly say I wa
s thrilled he had come to apologize. I was also especially glad we’d gone somewhere authentic to Florence, even if he had spoiled the beginning with his attitude. That restaurant had reminded me of the little French place where I’d gone with Simon. The only difference was that Simon was in his element, whereas Cooper was like a fancy fish out of sparkling water.
I couldn’t help but wonder if perhaps that was what threw him off his initial game. Cooper had always been a wooer and I hadn’t really allowed him to woo me. I was sure the buzzing sounds coming from his jacket pocket didn’t help either. Maybe there was something to be said for a non-career man. Simon had certainly never interrupted any of our time together to take a call.
I fell back asleep mid-ponder and woke to the buzzing sound of my own phone. When I saw it was a text message from Tess, I sat up with a start. In the past twelve or so hours of my own self-absorption, I had managed to forget all about her. Thankfully, before I could even decide how to disappear for the day, she beat me to it by saying she had gone to the convention center with Landon. There was a fashion show scheduled to take place in that same building, and she wanted to check it out.
Once again, I was relieved she’d done my dirty work for me, but I promised myself I would come clean after that day’s sightseeing date with Cooper. With Tess already gone, I invited Cooper to pick me up at the penisone.
He texted me upon his arrival, and when I came down the stairs, he had an arm resting on a bookcase and was looking around the pensione with a critical eye. I saw a frown cross his face, although his expression was carefully blank when he turned and saw me. He straightened, glanced at his sleeve, and brushed his hand along his arm.
“What? Are you afraid you’ll get bitten by the pensione bugs?” I wiggled my fingers as I walked towards him.
“Something like that.” Cooper grinned and grabbed my hand, trying to joke about his obvious displeasure with my choice of lodging. I decided to ignore his superiority complex and squeezed his hand slightly.
“One would think you grew up with a silver spoon in your mouth,” I teased. I could already tell we were both feeling way more comfortable than we had felt at the start of the previous night’s date.
“What do you mean?” The creases around his eyes deepened as he smiled.
“Well, you’re eyeing the place as if you’re a Rockefeller in the slums. This is a warm and wonderful pensione, and I don’t want to hear one word out of you, mister.” I pulled my hand away and wagged a finger at him. “You can check your materialism at the door.”
“That sucks. If I have to check my materialism at the door, then I guess that means I can’t give you the gifts I brought,” he said with a frown.
“Gifts?” A smile teased the corners of my mouth.
Cooper laughed and motioned to the couch where a dozen shopping bags sat. From where I stood, I could make out the logos from all my favorite designers.
“Ooh,” I said with anticipation.
“Go ahead. They’re all yours.”
I walked over to the couch and ripped open the Jimmy Choo bag first. In it, the most exquisite pair of strappy sandals stood tall. When I caressed the muted gold, the leather felt like butter in my hand. I looked at the bottom of the shoe. “Size nine. You remembered?”
“I may have had a little help from some friends,” Cooper admitted.
“What friends? Tess?” My mouth went dry, and I anxiously licked my lips. Had Cooper told Tess he was here? Had I been busted?
“No, not Tess,” he assured me.
I sighed with relief, but for a moment I wished Cooper had done my dirty work for me. Of course, it couldn’t have been Tess. Cooper didn’t have her email or cell phone number.
“The secret shopper was actually the concierge at my hotel. When I cancelled our reservation last night, I asked him to send out for a few things. He worked with Barneys in New York to pull some sizes from their database. I know you like to shop there at home.”
“Why did you do all this,” I asked in disbelief.
“I figured you might be sick of your backpacking attire. You’re not exactly the type to rough it, Luce.”
I feigned a hurt expression. “I think I’ve done just fine, thank you very much.”
“You have, but I know the girl I love is hiding somewhere under those plain Jane clothes of yours.”
He pointed a finger at me, and I looked down at the little black dress I’d decided it was finally time to wear. It was more of a sexy Susie than a plain Jane. I was momentarily taken aback. Did he not like the no-frills version of myself?
I opened my mouth to speak, but then quickly closed it as he continued. “Besides, I wanted to take the time to do something to make you feel special.”
While it was very kind of him to think of me, placing an order with the concierge was hardly taking the time to do something special for me. But he was just trying to treat me like a lady. Be thankful and shut up. I didn’t want to sound like a spoiled brat.
“Thank you for thinking of me, Cooper.” I smiled and placed a hand on my chest. “Shall I open another?” I couldn’t help but feel excited as I eyed the rest of the bags.
“Why don’t you go upstairs? Take your time going through it all and pick something out for today.”
“Now? Don’t you want to go out?”
Cooper’s phone rang. He looked at me with a conflicted expression.
“Ah ... I get it.” My jaw clenched as I nodded. “I thought you said...”
“I know,” he said, cringing. “I did. Honey...” He looked at his phone and groaned. “It’s a call from Asia. After I left you last night, I dealt with such a mess back in New York,” he said waving his phone. “I can’t be out of reach all day. I just have to take this quickly.”
“Please?” He sandwiched his phone within folded hands and gave me a pleading look. “Then I promise I’ll be all yours. I just need thirty minutes ... tops.”
Twenty-seven minutes later, I stood naked in my room. Cooper had bought me so many cute things that I actually had too many choices. Finally, I settled on a pair of fitted white pants, a strapless Pucci bandeau top, and of course, the Jimmy Choos. Whatever issues I had about Cooper’s gesture had been hung up in the closet with my new rags. I had to admit, it was nice to be in dry-clean-only clothing again. And if I said so myself, damn I looked good.
I blew myself a kiss in the mirror and left the room to unveil the sophisticated version of myself to the Florentine world. My legs felt a bit wobbly as I went down the stairs. I clutched the banister for support, but the heels weren’t really the issue.
Cooper sat on the couch thumbing through pamphlets for local attractions, and I suddenly felt nervous to be under his scrutiny. I was in dire need of moral support.
I cleared my throat and bit the inside of my cheek. He looked up at me and let out a slow whistle.
“What do you think,” I asked, but the look on his face said it all. I exhaled the breath I had been holding and unclenched my fists.
“What I think,” Cooper said, walking towards me, “is you may have to come back to my hotel later.”
My face flushed, and I opened my mouth, but couldn’t come up with a snappy retort.
“Don’t worry,” Cooper said, “not for that. Although ... don’t get me wrong,” he said, putting his arm around me, “that would be nice too. It wasn’t easy being a perfect gentleman last night. What I meant to say was that I don’t think you fit in here anymore.”
“Yeah, yeah, yeah. Nice save.” I pressed my lips together and smiled. I had to admit I was enjoying his flattery. “If you think this is bad, which it’s not, then you would’ve needed a tetanus shot just to step foot in our London abode.”
Cooper shuddered and made a face. “Well, it’s a good thing I’m here now. You know, to take your trip up a notch. I did a little research,” he said, waving the pamphlets, “and happen to have a chauffeur waiting outside to whisk us away.” Cooper paused and a slow smile spread across his face as my mouth o
pened wide with surprise.
I giggled and clasped my hands together. “Really?”
“Of course.” He nonchalantly shrugged his shoulders. “So, I’m thinking a day trip to Chianti. We can see the vineyards. What do you think?”
“Hmmm....” I flashed back to the experience I had in the French vineyard and laughed. “Well, my last experience in a vineyard was in France where I volunteered for the day. I...”
“Wait, what? Volunteered to do what?” The look on his face reminded me that while he was big on donating money, Cooper had never been one to donate his time.
“Pick grapes,” I shrugged. “Nothing too tough.”
“Was it fun?”
“Yes, it was fun, you lazy ass.” I felt a pang of nostalgia mixed with regret and immediately pushed it away.
“I don’t know why I can’t seem to picture you up on a high ladder.” Cooper looked at me and chuckled.
“Well, maybe you can picture this one then. Me, falling off the high ladder,” I said.
“C’mon.” Cooper guffawed.
“Yep. I twisted my ankle so badly I could barely walk.”
“So, what did you do?”
“I’d met a guy,” I said dismissively, “who was very sweet. He happened to be staying at our hotel and actually took pretty good care of me.” I smiled at the memory of Simon and quickly shook my head to erase the barrage of thoughts that accompanied it.
“Okay, I’m officially jealous,” Cooper announced. “Am I allowed to say that?”
“Yes, you can say that.” I laughed. “And, I’m officially happy to hear that.” I looked in his eyes and saw that his expression had grown rather solemn.
“Luce...” he began, “I don’t think I will ever be able to let a day go by without another apology.”
I held my hand up in protest. “Not now. This is fun day.”
“Okay, okay.” He sighed.
“I mean, I can’t get all crazy emotional in this beautiful get up.” I waved my hand over my body.
“Ooh, I think you can.” Cooper winked.
Tales From a Broad Page 21