by Jesse West
They spent a lot of time fighting as well. Jack would spend so much time with his sister because he hated to hear them yell at each other. Besides, Jack was too embarrassed to say anything to them. He just went through the motions and kept his chin up.
When Jack was six years old, grandma passed away. His mother didn’t seem to be bothered much by it but it devastated Jack. He didn’t know that some families have long trees that go down to second cousins and grandmothers with sisters, all he knew was his mother, his father, his sister, and his grandma. She was gone now and that was one less person in Jack’s life that he loved. With her unfortunate death, things got weirder when he met a member of his family he never knew, Uncle Scott.
Jeanette’s brother had heard about their mothers death, so he came back to pay his respects. Jack had no idea who he was and didn’t like him very much. The years didn’t treat Scott well either. He was balding, he needed to wear thick rimmed glasses, and though he was tall and skinny, his clothes didn’t seem to fit him. Jack’s first words about him were, “He smells funny.” The adults had a laugh about that since, well, it’s a six year old.
Mike had never met him before and Jeanette only mentioned him randomly. They hadn’t spoken for years. She hadn’t seen him since he left when she was only a teenager. They had a lot of catching up to do after so many years. The upcoming weeks, they spent a lot of time together and Jack could tell that his dad didn’t like it. He may have been a child, but he could always pick up on his parent’s anger. He would get a weird feeling in his gut every time and be thinking it was his fault. One thing Scott did that was relatively beneficial, probably the only thing, was that he convinced Jeanette to get in touch with Emily’s real father.
“She deserves to meet him, to put a face to her father, her biological father.”
Jeanette agreed to this without listening to Mike, who thought it was a bad idea. She contacted him for the first time since their divorce and expressed to him how she felt. After everything they had been through and how much he despised her, he wanted to meet his daughter.
The day came when Emily was going to meet her father, Gregory. Emily sat with Jack in her room feeling nervous and ambivalent.
“Are you ok?” Jack asked her.
“I don’t know…I’ve never met my father before,” she said.
“So, daddy isn’t your real daddy?” he sounded confused.
“No,” she told him.
“Is he my real daddy?” Jack didn’t seem to get it.
“Yes, moron. My daddy left me when I was a baby.”
“So, what about mommy?”
“Our mom is the same, Jackie. We just have different dads.” She explained it to him the best she could.
“I still don’t get it,” he really didn’t get it.
“Ugh, why do I bother?” she sounded annoyed as she rolled her eyes.
The doorbell rang. Emily stopped talking and pretty much breathing when she heard it. She had no sense of reaction and didn’t know what she should be doing. Jack sat there and watched her panic. She heard the footsteps walk over to the door then the door opened. The front door wasn’t far from the entrance to the living room so you could hear them talking as the man at the door stepped inside. She stood up and flattened her nice new skirt out. She turned and checked her hair in the mirror to make sure her beret was holding up her bangs. Her shiny brown hair was straight and she stared at herself for so long it was as if she wanted to hide in the mirror.
“Checking to make sure you don’t look ugly?” Jack was still sitting on the floor looking up at her. She nodded her head in reply.
“I still think you’re ugly,” he said.
“Shut up, moron!” she turned and yelled at him.
“Emily!” They both turned and looked to the entrance as their mother called for her, “Can you come here please?”
Emily hesitated and stood frozen in place. Jack stood up and walked over to her, stood next to her, and took her hand.
“Ew, don’t hold my hand.” She pulled her hand away. Jack stepped back and held his hands up in confusion.
Emily brought her attention to the doorway and started walking. Jack followed close behind her as they stepped out into the hallway. There stood Gregory, Emily’s father.
“Hey,” he said to her.
“Hi,” Emily replied then reached back for Jack’s hand. He didn’t hesitate to hold her hand either since he felt they were both going through the same emotions. She squeezed it tightly.
He approached her and knelt down. He had on a button down shirt with a tie and a blazer which stood out to Jack because the blazer was gold yet the tie was a dark orange. Emily just stared at him.
“I’m very happy to see you.” He said as he reached out his hand to shake hers.
“It’s nice to meet you.” Emily replied with conviction as she reached out and shook his hand.
“Ha, Ha, I guess I deserve that,” he said as he looked back at Jeanette and Mike who were standing behind them. “And this must be Jack. Hi Jack. My name’s Gregory.” Jack hid behind Emily. In his mind, he is thinking that he’s met more than enough strange men, so this one could just go away.
“Jackie doesn’t like strangers.” Emily said in defense of her baby brother.
“Ok. That’s good,” Gregory said with a head nod. Emily continued to stare at him.
“Listen,” he continued, “I know I haven’t been around and you may not like me very much,” Emily just stared at him as he spoke and he could tell she hated him, “but I want to make it up to you. I know I don’t deserve a second chance, but if you’ll give me the chance I will show you that I am sorry. I want to be in your life, Emily. Will you let me be in your life?” he reach out and held her hands.
Emily was hesitant and afraid but she wanted her real father for so long, deep down, she eventually shook her head yes. Jack, however, was terrified that he would lose another member of his family.
For the next couple of months, things in Jack’s life changed. He noticed his mother acting strange, she and daddy were fighting a lot more than usual, and his big sister wasn’t around as often. She spent a lot of time with her father and though Jack didn’t understand it, he knew she was happy. Not having her around made it hard for Jack to deal with the things in his life. He was still young, dealing with kid life, and watching his family dwindle. He would sit by himself and listen to his parents yell and scream at each other. He would watch them push and throw things at each other. He never understood what they were yelling about and he was never listening, he was too busy crying to himself.
Turns out, Jeanette was picking back up on the bad habits that she and Mike quit for the kids. He blamed Scott for this and hated that they spent so much time together, getting high for all he knew. Jeanette obviously denied this and fought hard against anything Mike had to say.
Scott had come to the house one day when Mike was at work. Jack was home from school and Emily was away with her father. He was sitting in the other room playing with his toys and watching TV. He heard mom and Uncle Scott in the kitchen, laughing and what sounded to him like blowing your nose. He paid no mind to it since he was caught up in his own imagination. He got up to go ask for a drink and as he walked into the kitchen, he saw his mother holding up a mirror to her face. He didn’t think anything was weird about it and just asked for some water. His mother got nervous and put the mirror down, wiped her nose frantically, then yelled at him for just walking into the kitchen like that. As she was giving him a glass of water, he looked over and noticed something on the table. Lots of white powder was on the mirror and the table. Uncle Scott caught him staring and told him to mind his own business. He walked out of the kitchen with his water and was going back to the bedroom when he heard the front door open.
He turned around and saw his dad step into the apartment. Since the front door faced the kitchen, Mike stood and stared at them he caught them in the act. He caught her doing what he knew she was doing, and he freaked out.
He started yelling at both of them, not noticing that Jack stood there in the doorway of the kitchen and watched as they yelled back and forth. Jack didn’t understand what was going on. He saw his dad grab Uncle Scott and attempt to lift him out of his chair. His mom was hitting him and telling him to stop.
Mike was furious that he caught them doing drugs in his house, on his kitchen table, when his son was in the next room. He attempted to throw Scott out of his house and Jeanette was fighting him. Whether it was over Scott or the drugs on the table no one can be sure because someone not in their right mind may do something they regret later. She turned to the sink and grabbed a knife from the drainer.
Mike threw Scott to the floor and turned around to his wife who was coming at him with the knife. He grabbed her by both her wrists and struggled to get her back into the chair. The knife fell out of her hands onto the floor and Scott picked it up. Mike threw Jeanette back into the chair and defended himself against Scott. They both struggled for control over the knife as Jeanette stood up and grabbed it along with them. Mike couldn’t tell if she was helping him or against him. They continued the struggle until Mike and Jeanette’s body weight were too overbearing for Scott to handle. They shoved into him and the knife pierced his side. He fell to the floor holding himself as both Mike and Jeanette backed away from him.
Jack stood there and watched as all this happen. The glass he was holding slipped out of his hand and shattered on the floor. Mike looked up to the sound and saw Jack standing there, frozen in place and speechless at what he was looking at.
Mike dropped the knife and ran over to him. Jeanette sat in the chair behind them. Mike brought Jack into the other room then he called 911. Once he got off the phone, he stood by Jeanette and she shoved him away. Mike couldn’t tell if she was delirious or stoned. He lifted Scott up and sat him upright on the floor, gave him a cloth to slow the bleeding, and waiting for the ambulance to get there.
The ambulance came as well as the police. They questioned all of those in the house, including Jack. They noticed that Jeanette seemed wired and that there was a table with drugs on it. They took them both in for questioning and asked if there was anyone Jack could stay with. Gregory lived at the opposite end of Staten Island and they had no other kin beside Scott who was on a stretcher. They suggested his best friend’s family, Steven, who lived in a house across the street. The police officer took Jack over to them and explained the situation. He stayed with them that night and sort of let himself forget about it. Being with his friend, who he couldn’t really explain much to, made it easier for him to not think about it. All he said was, “My Uncle had an accident.”
The police came to the house the next day and explained to Steven’s family the situation.
Mike was going to prison for attempted manslaughter being that the knife wound could have killed Scott and his prints were on the weapon. Jeanette’s prints were on the knife as well, but Mike had already confessed to being the one holding it when it happened. Jeanette, however, tested positive for cocaine so she was pronounced unfit to take care of Jack. His Uncle Scott was in the hospital still recovering and Gregory had no real connection to the family. This left Jack with no options of who to stay with being that there was no next of kin. The police had no choice, but to take him into child services. The officer that took him in, Sgt. Brown, stayed with him the entire time. Jack trusted him as he was told to trust all policemen. They are here to help and protect you. He was glad Sgt. Brown was there and he made it his duty to sit with him when he spoke to a social worker and she explained what was going on and what was going to happen now. Jack was going into a foster home.
Jack had no idea what to do now but he understood that he wasn’t going home. For now, his home was with complete strangers. People he’d never met before who lived in parts of Brooklyn he’d never seen before. He moved around to and through five different homes over the course of the next six months, which isn’t bad compared to most kids who unfortunately wind up in these situations, but it was tough on him. Foster care is a different atmosphere depending on the home you are placed in and the child as an individual. Jack hadn’t been exposed too much at this point in his life except for a George Carlin comedy special and a PG-13 rated movie. He experienced a lot living in five completely different homes.
His first home, was a family that he was certain didn’t really care much about him. They had a strict schedule and they maintained the kids there very well. Jack wasn’t the only one there and they didn’t get along much with him. The second house he didn’t stay in long because the family had a vacation planned to Disney World. Jack had never been there before and he almost wanted to go with them but that wasn’t going to happen. The next family had one other older child who didn’t care for kids Jack’s age so he just kept to himself. The next home had a kid his own age and Jack was excited about that. What he didn’t expect was that he wasn’t going to be nice to Jack either. The last family he was with was nice. They focused more on their own new born baby but Jack wasn’t going to complain about that. He had a bad run of luck with every other home so to him, this family might as well have been the Rockefellers.
While in foster care, his mother fought tooth and nail to get him back. She cleaned herself up, attended dozens of court dates, till eventually she was able to get her boy back.
When Jack saw his mother for the first time in what seemed like years, he ran to her and hugged her so tight it looked as if he would never let her go. The embracement of mother and son in a moment like that is pure and incorruptible. Something like that can’t be faked and when Jack looked into his mother’s eyes, he saw her. Exactly how he remembered her. Not the way he saw her in the kitchen that day. His real mother.
Shortly after he came home, Emily came to visit. She missed him dearly and hated that he had to spend all that time away from home. He was finally in his true home, his mother was there, and so was his sister. The only thing missing to make things better would be to see his father. Unfortunately, the prison was too far for them to go see him, but they called and wrote every day while he was away. Jack was just happy that things were back to the way they were, for the time being.
After a few months of being back, he watched his mother bounce around two jobs and take care of him. He didn’t understand parenthood or know much about responsibilities, but he tried to make it as easy as possible on her. By the time he turned nine, he noticed his mother’s behavior started to get weird. She wasn’t the same sometimes. She started drinking and going out a lot. Jack was old enough to understand what alcohol was and he saw his mother drink a lot. She went to a bar that was a few blocks away two sometimes three nights a week. She would drink and pick up men, leaving Jack home alone. She’d come home late at night, sometimes alone and others with someone. Jack met most of these men and they would talk to him about random things. Whatever movie he was watching, tell jokes, or simply ask him about the toys he was playing with. They wouldn’t talk long but Jack was good for his mother.
Jack was exposed to a lot of grown up things. In movies he watched with his father, comedy shows his parents would let him sit and watch, just what Jack had seen in the last few years could make a kid grow up faster than he should. Jack was in the shower one night and as he was leaving the bathroom, he had to walk past the bedroom door. It was wide opened, they forgot to close it, and Jack looked in and saw one of these men on top of his mother. She had her legs and arms wrapped around him. She wasn’t screaming or anything, and Jack didn’t know what was going on, so he just turned and walked into the other room. He never told her, but it wasn’t the only incident that Jack went through.
For about a year, he met a few different men. Some just once, others came back a few times. One night, his mother passed out on one of them. The man seemed upset and Jack was in his room as he heard him walk heavily into the kitchen and back into the bedroom. Jack knew that his mother was so drunk she passed out and he could tell this man was just as intoxicated. Jack had become fri
ends with this man, so he asked him to come and hang out with him in the other room while his mother was asleep. The man was only there for one reason and he seemed uninterested in anything else. He went to leave there apartment, slamming the door behind him. Jack went into the hallway to see if he was alright. Jack didn’t know better. He saw him standing by the door to their staircase. He started telling him to open the door to the staircase and Jack didn’t understand why he needed help opening the door so he refused. He kept telling him to do it till Jack finally closed the door on him. He went into the room to his mother lying drunk on the bed. He covered her with a blanket and turned off the lights. He never knew why that man needed help with the door, he never saw him again after that, and he never told his mother about it.
One of the men that frequented coming over was Robert. When Jeanette introduced him to Jack, he told him that he could call him Bobby. Bobby came around a lot, till eventually he was the only one coming around. When Jack met him, he had a military styled buzz cut, wore sunglasses a lot, and part of one of his fingers was missing. This took Jack by surprise since he’d never saw a person with a piece of their finger missing. Bobby told him a cool story about how he lost it to a giant rat that bit it off. Jack believed him, but it was really just a table saw accident. He was a carpenter, so injuries came with the territory.
At this point, Jack asked his mother more than once what was going on. Bobby was coming around more and more and he kept asking about daddy. Jeanette would tell him that he will understand when he gets older. His father had been away for two years at this point and there was mention of him possibly getting out early for good behavior. He wanted him to come back into his life and for this man to leave. He wanted his father back so bad.
Jeanette finally sat him down one day and explained to him that her and his father weren’t together anymore. They had gotten a divorce while he was in prison. This was something Jack wasn’t prepared for and he wasn’t certain how to handle it. After she told him, he spoke to his father on the phone. He was afraid he’d never see him again, but his father clarified that they would still get to see each other when he got out. This changed Jack’s life, but he kept his chin up and prepared to deal with whatever came next.