by Jesse West
“What are you do-“ she looked down and Jack and before she could finish her sentence, Bobby came marching in the apartment. He nearly took the door off with how forceful he pushed on it and slammed it right behind him. He walked over to the door and kicked it in, stepped inside and slammed it behind him. All you heard was yelling from that point. Emily stood there in the doorway with Jack holding her hands. She looked down at him and asked “Is this how it gets, Jackie?” he wouldn’t look up to answer, he just nodded his head in reply.
She knelt down on the floor and held him in his arms as the shouting continued. Neither of them were paying attention to what they were saying, Emily was trying to help him ignore it. They began to hear slapping coming from the room. Emily’s gaze rose back to the door and she stared at it, dumfounded to what she was hearing. Jack never looked at the door. He heard this so often that he was used to it. He just sat there and held onto Emily. Never had he felt so safe before. Each time he experienced this, he was alone. He never knew what to expect from Bobby or any of the other men his mother brought around. For the first time in years, Jack felt safe.
Emily and Jack sat there till Bobby came out of the room. He walked into the bathroom leaving the door opened. Emily looked in and saw their mother sitting at the foot of the bed. She couldn’t tell if she was crying or not but she never looked up. Bobby came out when he was finished and closed the door again. The yelling continued for a bit but they didn’t hear anymore hitting. Perhaps that subsided as well for the evening but neither of them were listening anymore. Jack’s was now sharing the room they were in with his sister. He was sleeping on the couch which was now his bed and Emily slept on the mattress on the floor that Jack used to sleep on.
That morning, Bobby and Jeanette acted like nothing had even happened. Like a simple apology can make up for the bruises that were clearly seen on her face and arms. Emily ignored it for now but she wasn’t going to have this happen again without doing something about it. This thought lingered in the back of her head and Jack never thought she would do something. He was so used to just sitting there and dealing with it, the idea of saying something never entered his head. This was just life for him. He kept his chin up and kept moving forward.
A couple weeks had passed till they had another fight and this time, Emily spoke up.
“Ok, you guys need to stop!” Emily shouted at both of them.
“This is none of your fuckin business,” Bobby said with anger “Get out!” he pointed to the door but Emily wouldn’t move.
“No. You guys are fighting, Jack’s inside and he’s a wreck, and you 2 are in here yelling about what?” she asked them.
“It’s not of your fucking business. Now, I told you to go inside!” he attempted to shove her out of the room.
“You’re not my father so do not talk to me like that!” she shouted at him.
They struggled for a bit by the door.
“Get your hands off of me!” she yelled. Emily wasn’t a tall or strong girl but Bobby was intoxicated so she figured he would be easier to handle. They struggled as Bobby shoved her up against the door then with both hands he slammed the door shut, tossing Emily out of the room and onto the floor. Jeanette just sat there and watched them.
Every fight that went on like this, Emily stepping up to Bobby and their mother not doing anything to stop it, became more and more frequent. Bobby seemed to find it threatening that a women was trying to talk him down or prove him wrong. It went on like this for the next year, all of them playing dumb in front of Bobby’s family when they got together. Jack was just there, witnessing, and fearful for his sister each time she stepped up to Bobby. He feared the day he would actually hurt her since up to that point it was merely an exchange of words, a push or shove, and sometimes she would swing at him but he would just grab her and force her down. Bobby might have been intoxicated but part of him knew not to hurt her. She was only 15 at the time and even after she turned 16 it continued like this and all the while, their mother never stood up for Emily. She never helped nor tried to stop them. Sometimes, she would agree with Bobby. Jack would see this and think why. Why are you taking this complete stranger’s side? Why, mom?
Young Grown Old
Jack had just turned 13 and he felt like he was 30 in his mind. He carried himself a bit more mature than other kids but he was still a kid at heart. He dealt with a lot for most kids. He got bullied in school all the last 3 years for his clothes never being name brand or for looking dirty, Bobby’s family never really treated him like a member of their family even though they had been together for almost 6 years at this point, and he was about to start high school which is a long and tiresome journey for all growing men and women but Jack’s mind was always elsewhere.
Around the time, Jack was incorporated into the family and though Emily kept her distance she was still a part of it as well. Jack had been through a lot already with this family. He spent Christmas there, New Years, birthdays, and just about every weekend for the first few years. The day Sabrina was born was the best for him though. Jack was always good with the kids but he loved seeing the baby. They brought her home, let him hold her, change her, feed her, and Jack never complained when she would pee in his face. Sabrina was the best part of this family to him from that point on. This was also around the time Sue’s husband left them. Apparently, he and Sue didn’t get along and it was a tough marriage to handle for the both of them. They pushed to make it work for the kids but he couldn’t take it anymore. Plus, dealing with In-laws like Gene and Pauline, who could.
Jack was the go to kid to the family. Since he was the oldest, they sent him to the store, made him take out the trash, and at that point Sue and her kids were living there so he had to help clean up after them as well. It seemed mandatory that it only be Jack to do these things when it could’ve been everyone pitching in. But no, Jack is young and strong, he can handle it all by himself. In Jack’s mind, all he thought was that he was the outsider and that’s why they make him do everything. He isn’t a real Vicarro, he’s not truthfully related to these people. Their son is dating his mother and that’s the only reason they have ever connected life. Besides that, the occasional birthday cake, and Jack might as well have been a slave in his mind.
The fighting had died down in his house which helped ease his mind a bit. His family was still relatively pour which is why he never had name brand things, he never looked clean, and he sprouted up. He grew about 2 feet in what seemed like overnight and he lost a lot of weight. He used to tell people he was just growing and eating better, but his house barely had food in it sometimes. Jack also kept to himself a lot. He only ever kept one real friend close to him at any given time. When he was growing up, it was the boy, Steven, who lived across the street. He moved away a few years ago. Jack then became friends with a kid in his class whose name was Ahmed. They got along since they both loved Pokémon and they played all the time. They both got bullied for it too, which is probably another reason why they got along. They both also came from pour homes so they shared a lot. They would split the packs of cards whenever they had money at the same time.
Jack escaped from his house a lot to hang out with Ahmed. He never had much of a reason to be home. His sister was older and spent more time with her own friends and it seemed like things were getting better when it came to Bobby. He and Jeanette argued very little and they spent a lot of time in their room just alone. Jack was old enough that he knew exactly what they were doing. They had changed their habits from the drinking to the drugs. It only made sense to him being that they could never buy anything knew and they seemed to get along more than usual. At this point in his life, Jack could tell when a person was stoned but Bobby and his mother never thought Jack knew. They thought they were smart and they could sneak it around, but all drug addicts think that way.
Jack also had something else to look forward to this year. He got word that his father was getting out of prison soon. Jack hadn’t sent letters to his father as frequently
as he used to when he was younger but Mike understood. Jack told him about how tough things were getting at the house. He had already gotten used to calling Bobby ‘Dad’ at this point but his real father was coming home and Jack couldn’t wait. He kept every letter Mike sent him and read them all the time.
Mike wrote to him every day while he was in prison. There isn’t much else to do for a man who simply just wants to do his time. It wasn’t hard time either, Mike just saw it as an extensively long period of time. Days were slow where all you do is eat and read. He read almost the entire library the prison had. Besides that, he wrote letters to Jack. Some days felt slower than others but he paid his time and he was getting released on probation.
He was dropped off in front of their apartment building in a cab that the prison set up for him. The guard liked Mike but he always had a way with doing and saying things to get what he wants. He stepped out of the cab and looked up at the entire building. He hated that building so much that he missed it. He stared at the window where the apartment was, it faced right outside the front of the building, and he just stood there for a few minutes. He took a deep breath and walked up to the front door. He rang their bell and waited to be let in while upstairs, Jack heard this and his heart dropped.
He was sitting with his sister who was consoling him and trying to ease his nervousness. He listened to her since she had kind of gone through with this before though the different was that she never met her father up to that point. He knew what his last image of his dad was and it’s never left his mind. The man standing in the kitchen, fighting with his mother, holding a knife over a man bleeding on the floor, his uncle who he barely knew, and all that ran through his head was “What does he look like now?”. Though as trivial as it may seem, for Jack’s last memory of his father being the man in cuffs, it filled him with uncertainty to what he was going to see when his father gets there.
Jack heard the knock on the door and he jumped up, shocking himself to how excited he became. He walked over to the door, hearing his sister tell him that it’ll be fine as she followed him in. He opened the door and there he stood. Jack’s father. It had been so long that Jack just stared at him for what seemed like hours. He had gained a lot of weight in prison and his hair was a medium length at this point, shaggy and curly. He had a resemblance to a beard and he was wearing button up shirt with a tie. He was holding a bag and his coat. He stood there for a second and stared at Jack. He had changed a lot to him as well. He was only about an inch shorter than him, buzzed haircut and he had the going-through-puberty facial hair.
“Hey there, superman.” Mike said breaking the moment of silence.
“Hey Dad.” Jack said softly.
Mike stepped into the apartment and before he had both feet in, Jack sprung forward and wrapped his arms around him. He squeezed him hard and felt like a kid again. He hadn’t seen him for almost 7 years and all the nerves he had before had disappeared. He was so happy to have his father back, nothing else mattered.
Mike hugged him back just as hard. All those years in jail wishing to see his boy and it was finally here. He eventually let him go to look at him, see how much he had grown, look at his face. He looked around at the apartment. He had lived here for years before his home became a cell. He saw Emily and was shocked to see how much she had grown. He hugged her too and Jack stood back, tears in his eyes as he was still amazed to have his father in the same room again. Mike gazed over the apartment seeing how different it was, the changes that have happened since he’s been gone. The mixed colored parts of the wall confused him. He didn’t think they were spackled holes that Bobby put in the walls. He saw that the apartment was pretty messed up and not really as clean as recalled. He wasn’t rich so he understood that the apartment wouldn’t look like a five star hotel room but this was not as bad as how he left it. This was also the first time Mike got to meet Bobby.
“Hi, I’m Michael, Jack’s father.” He reached out to shake Bobby’s hand.
“How ya doin? Robert. Or Bobby. Either is cool.” Bobby shook his hand in return.
“Pleasure to meet you. Hope you’ve been taking care of my boy.” Mike replied.
“Yeah, he’s a good kid.” Bobby said with confidence.
“How are you Michael?” Jeanette said.
“I’m good, Jeanette. Glad you’re doing well.” Mike said as though it was forced.
Jack stood backed and watched the half hostile conversation continue. Eventually, he and his dad went into the other room so they could talk. They sat down and he explained so much of what he’s been involved in over the years he’s missed. He was so happy to talk to his dad in person. He didn’t care about how his family had gotten bigger, he didn’t care about when the next fight was going to happen, and all that mattered was seeing his dad. Mike told him that he’ll be staying with a friend of his a few avenues over till he gets on his feet. They came to an agreement that Mike would get to see him on the weekends and holidays would be up for discussion. Jack didn’t care, any time he got to see his father at this point in his life was better than him being away any longer.
Jack’s life had hit a milestone. Here he was, going into high school, his sister was back, his father was back, he was dealing with Bobby’s family fairly well, and Bobby and Jeanette had been doing fine. Their drug habits may have been bad but it kept them civil. The weekends with his father were great. Spending time with his father had been exactly what he needed to help get through things.
When Emily turned 18, a lot had changed in the house. She was a bit of a different girl. She didn’t spend a lot of time with Jack like they used to, she was out a lot with her friends. That same year, Jack’s father finally got his own place after working for a couple years trying to get back on his feet. He had been spending time on a couch and working odd jobs till something solid finally came around. Not many company owners jump to hire a man with a record. Emily spent so much time out with her friends and Jack spent so much time with his father that he didn’t notice the more major changes that Emily had been going through. Eventually, she came out and told the family she was pregnant.
She was young and Jeanette was against it. Emily was bent on keeping the baby because she was in love with the boy that got her pregnant. Jack was confused when he found out about all of this the day he got home from school. Emily told him everything that happened and that she was leaving again. She was going to live with her boyfriend. Mom was kicking her out because she was pregnant.
Jack had walked in on the entire apartment in an uproar. Everyone was yelling, Emily was packing, and he couldn’t take all of this information in. He just stood and watched, listening and crying. Watching his family fall apart again. Even Bobby was yelling at her and Emily’s shouts turned to screams as she didn’t see Bobby as a person who has any say in her life. She asked Jack to help her get downstairs with the bags. As they were walking downstairs, Jack and Emily finally got a little time to talk to themselves.
“So, you’re pregnant?” he asked her.
“Yeah, moron. Did you not get that part?!” she yelled in reply in a sarcastic tone.
“Hey, it’s hard to understand anything when all I heard was yelling!” he replied with a hint of tears in his voice that Emily noticed. When they got downstairs they stopped and put the bags down to wait for the car that was supposed to pick her up.
“I’m sorry, Jackie.” She told him, holding back tears of her own. “I just hate how mom is so infatuated with that asshole that she would kick me out!”
“What?” Jack was confused about this. “I thought they both wanted you out?”
“Yeah but I know this was more Bobby than it was her. She listens to everything he says. It’s like she forgets that he BEAT HER EVERYDAY!” she looked up at the apartment as she screamed this towards the building.
“Come on, Em. Don’t make a scene. It’s bad enough the neighbors heard the yelling. You know I deal with the looks and the questions.” He knelt against the wall and put his head dow
n. Emily was wiping the tears from her eyes when she saw that Jack was upset. This was tearing him apart and she had just realized it. She walked over and hugged him.
“Am I going to see you again?” he asked.
“Of course you will, moron. You’re growing up and you go out by yourself all the time. You can come see me whenever you want.” She told me in an attempt to ease his mind.
“I just hate that you’re leaving again.”
“I know, Jackie. It’ll be alright.”
The car Emily was waiting for pulled up and honked, catching their attention. A tall man stepped out of the driver seat. He had a hat on backwards and he was dressed like he just got out of basketball practice. He didn’t look like he was much older than Emily.
“Danny, this is Jackie. My little brother.” Emily said to him as he walked over to help with the bags.
“Hey, what’s up little guy? I’m Danny.” He reached out to shake Jack’s hand.
“Hey Danny. So, is this your boyfriend, Em?” he asked Emily while brushing off Danny, he didn’t really care who he was at this point.
“Yeah. I’m going to live with him for now. He doesn’t live far so I’ll call you in a few days so we could set up a time to hang out. I love you, Jackie.”
“I love you too, Em.”
They hugged each other and Jack helped them pack the rest of her bags. Emily got in the car and they drove off. Jack turned around and began walking slowly back into the building. His head hung low as he walked his way upstairs back to the apartment. As he walked in, he continued to hear his mother and Bobby yelling over what just happened. It wasn’t yelling at each other, just shouting a conversation. Jeanette was shouting about how stupid Emily was for getting pregnant so young and Bobby was agreeing with her but part of Jack heard what Emily was talking about. Bobby was saying the major part of the argument, and Jeanette was agreeing but doing most of the talking. Jack was just listening as he walked into the room he used to share with Emily and acknowledged that it was now just his room. He continued to hear them yelling for a bit and in that moment, Jack realized something.