by J. L. Drake
I stare into the fire thinking about how I went from feeling crummy to shitty in a matter of a few hours. It brings me back to York and the poison. My stomach rolls at the thought.
“Here.” Sue hands me a cup of chamomile tea and takes a seat across from me. “Thank you for coming here.” She bats a pesky tear away. “It means a lot.”
“You remind me of her,” I murmur, still staring at the fire. “My mother, she was like a cozy blanket. The moment she was around, you felt wrapped in her comfort and warmth.” I turn to see her glossy eyes reflecting the fire. “As much as I hate my past, it brought me to all of you. I’m incredibly lucky for that.” She smiles at me, but her quivering chin gives away the emotion she’s keeping at bay. “Umm, Sue?”
“Yes?”
I hold my mouth and bolt to the closest bathroom.
***
Cole
Cole walks through the bar, scanning every table for her. Maybe she’s on break. He takes a seat next to a guy who’s telling Jake a story about how he and his friend next to him did karaoke at Chaps last night. The girl seems to be a feisty little thing and keeps her friend in check as he tells the story like it’s a performance.
He waits until the guy takes a breath before he waves Jake over.
“Oh, hey, Cole.” Jake comes over with a glass, holding it up seeing if he wants one. “Savi call ya?”
“No,” he looks around, “why?”
“Look, love, he’s like sex on a stick,” the guy next to Cole whispers loudly. “Screw L.A., I’m stayin’ right the hell here.” He leans over to Jake. “Is there where all the hotties live?”
“You have no shame!” The girl swats his arm. “I’m sorry, don’t mind him. He’s a fifteen year old perv stuck in twenty-three year old’s body.”
Jake shakes his head, ignoring the guy’s comment. “She went home sick, think she’s got the flu. Zack took her to your parents’. Guess she didn’t want to be home.”
“It’s not her home,” he mutters, pulling out his phone and calling his mother.
“Hey, honey,” his mother whispers. “I was going to call you once she fell asleep.”
Cole waves to Jake as he leaves the bar. “I’m at Zack’s. I’ll come over. It’s just the flu, right?” His thoughts shoot back to York.
“I think so. She’s just tired and has an upset stomach. She’s gotten sick a few times. You might get sick, honey, you sure—”
“I’m in my car.”
“All right,” he can hear her smile, “drive safely.”
His mother is in the kitchen stirring a pot of chicken soup when he arrives. He gives her a kiss on the cheek and attempts to steal a roll from the baking sheet.
“She’s on the couch.” She nods as he looks over.
He gazes down at her tiny body tucked under a huge blanket, her hair framing her pale face with her hands folded beneath her head. She’s the most beautiful woman he’s ever seen, and she’s his…well, almost his. He leans over to kiss her forehead.
“Cole?” she whispers, not opening her eyes.
“Yes, baby, I’m here. Get some rest.” Within seconds she passes out cold again.
“You hungry?” Sue asks from the doorway.
“Yeah.” He follows her into the kitchen and takes a seat at the oak table. She sets a hot bowl of soup in front of him with a basket of homemade rolls. She sits across the table from him, trying hard not to show her grin. She’s terrible at hiding her excitement. “Out with it, Mom,” he says, buttering his roll.
“She came here when she needed someone.” Her finger bobs the tea bag in and out of the mug.
“Yeah,” he replies, “she did.”
“She said I remind her of her mother,” Sue beams, but he can see how much that means. His mother always wanted a daughter. His parents tried, but she couldn’t get pregnant again. So for Savannah to take to Sue this way means the world. “So…” She clears her throat.
Cole shakes his head, fighting the grin that tugs at his lips. “So what?”
“Oh, Cole!” She bats his arm. “When are you going to ask her to marry you?”
Wiping his mouth, he leans back in his seat. “If it were up to me, she’d have been my wife a long time ago.” His mother’s hand flies to her chest, swooning in the moment. “But I won’t push her into something she isn’t ready for. She’s well aware I’m going to marry her. I told her to let me know when she’s ready, and I’ll ask.”
“Oh, honey.” She laughs a little, hitting her forehead. “Where’s the romance in that?”
“Mom, I’m not going to ask and have her say no.” He stands to grab the pepper off the island.
“She won’t say no.”
“She might.” He sighs. “Not really sure I can take that rejection.”
His mother comes over and places both hands on his shoulders. “That girl came to our house because she is sick, and she was looking for family. She knew you weren’t here, Cole, and she still came. The way she looks at you, it’s obvious she loves you more than anything else in the world.” She pauses to catch her breath. “I watched that woman completely crumble when she thought you were gone. You’re her world, so be hers. Don’t wait for her to come to you. She’s ready, she’s just scared. So,” she steps back, grinning, “plan something romantic and ask her.”
Maybe.
“Yeah, Mom, I hear you,”
“Good.” She leans in and gives him a kiss on the cheek. “I love you, honey bear.”
“Excuse me,” Savannah says faintly, and they both turn to see her slumped into the doorframe, looking exhausted. Cole goes over and feels her head. She doesn’t have a fever. “May I get some water, Sue?” She looks over at him. “I’m okay.” She tries to smile at him, but he can see she feels awful. “Zack said the flu is going around.”
“Here, honey.” Sue hands her a glass of water. “You want to try to eat something?”
Her hand goes to her stomach. “No, I just want to go back to sleep.”
Cole slips his arm around her waist. “You want me to take you back to your apartment?”
“No,” she shakes her head, making him smile inside, “I don’t think I can stomach the car ride.” She turns to his mother. “Do you mind if I stay here?”
“I thought that was the plan.” She beams.
“Come on, let’s go to bed.” She sags into him as they walk up the stairs and into his old bedroom. She shuts her eyes the moment she hits the pillow. He removes her jeans and curls himself around her. Breathing in her addicting scent, he falls asleep with the idea of her being his forever.
***
Savannah
I try to be quiet as I bring up the little bit of water I drank earlier. I flush the toilet, wash my face, and brush my teeth, feeling mildly better as long as my stomach is completely empty. I find Cole and Daniel in the kitchen sipping coffee. Sue is making pancakes, which smell pretty good, surprisingly.
“Hey.” Cole hops up and pulls out a chair for me. I sit and feel him give me a kiss on the head. I love how affectionate he is with me. I lean into him, seeking his warmth. He feels just right. “How’s the stomach?”
“Not entirely sure yet,” I mumble, trying to feel it out. Christ, Sue’s pancakes smell good.
Cole sees me eyeing them and stacks two on a plate for me. “Eat, it will make you feel better.”
Once they hit my tongue I can’t stop. I don’t even wait for the syrup. The fluffy white cake slides down my throat, hitting my stomach and landing with a hollow boom. Oh my god, I am so hungry! I don’t think, just chew. Cole wastes no time refilling my plate, chuckling. I nod a thanks and polish off two more before I feel satisfied.
“I’m going on a hunch here and say your stomach is better?” Daniel teases, putting aside the sports section of the newspaper. I take a few sips of orange juice and feel my energy returning.
“I guess—” I stop when something catches my attention. Part of the entertainment section of the newspaper is flipped over, and on
e of my most favorite actors, Tim Roth, is up for a new role. Roth. Roth. There’s that nagging feeling again.
Cole places his hand on my thigh. “What?”
My head is turning, determined not to lose my trail. “Do you know anyone name Roth?”
He looks a little puzzled. “The only Roth I know is from training up at Camp Green.”
I move two steps ahead in my memory, on the right path. “Umm, did I meet him?”
Daniel leans toward us, a little interested in where I’m going with this. “Yes, at the campfire outside. He was one of the recruits I had my eye on, remember, number fifty-nine,” Cole says, glancing at his father.
The pieces of the puzzle are all starting to fall into place. “A recruit for the house, right? He would have come to the house and worked?”
“Yes,” both he and Daniel answer at the same time, seeing I’m on to something.
There it is, the light turns on in my brain. I’m on top of the fucking memory, and the puzzle is complete! “Holy shit!” Cole squeezes my thigh, coaxing me to go on. “You remember I told you I saw those pictures of you and that blonde woman?” He flinches, but I reach out and cup his cheek. “I’m not digging up this memory to be cruel.” I turn to Daniel. “When I was in The American’s house, he showed me some photos to prove Cole isn’t who I thought he is. He showed me pictures of him and an informant. My point in all this is that The American said he had one of Cole’s men take the picture…well, actually, a lot of them.” I feel Cole’s shoulder twitch.
“You think it was Roth?” Cole asks, bringing my attention back to him.
“Yes, I heard him say his name when I was semi-conscious. One less than sixty,” I mutter in disbelief. “The American tried to get me to guess who it was. He said one less than sixty. He also mentioned that he needed him to do well so he would be able to get the location of the house. “ Cole’s eyes flick over to his father’s.
“I think we need to make some calls, son,” Daniel’s voice is calm but laced with anger.
“Savi,” Cole leans in closer, brushing my hair back off my shoulder, “are you feeling better?” I nod, knowing where he’s going with this. “Then I need to go. I’ll call you later.”
“Okay.” He leans in and kisses me, then he and Daniel disappear, leaving Sue and me and a stack of pancakes.
Chapter Six
Cole: You at work?
Savi: I am, it’s slow.
Cole: How are you feeling?
Savi: Tired.
There’s a long pause.
Savi: I’m fine. Did you deal with Roth?
Nothing.
Savi: Cole?
Cole: Will you go on a date with me?
Huh? Where the hell did that come from?
Savi: Sure?
Cole: I’ve never taken you out on a date. I want to. Tomorrow, be ready at five.
I can’t hide my grin. I’m suddenly feeling very excited about my day off. I hoe into my rare steak, licking my lips as I enjoy every bite. Yummy.
“Whatcha gonna wear?” Jake asks over my shoulder, reading my messages as I eat.
“Jake!” I scowl, but it doesn’t work when I laugh after. I can’t help it. I feel so happy. He snatches my phone and runs to the other side of the bar and starts madly typing.
“What are you doing?” I run after him, dropping my fork, but he’s too quick.
He grins as his fingers tap away. Almost immediately there’s a ring signaling a message has come in. Jake makes a huff and hands it back.
I glance down and laugh.
Savi: Panties are optional right? I won’t if you don’t.
Cole: Hi, Jake.
“He knows I wouldn’t wear any,” I say over my shoulder, heading for the kitchen to return my plate.
Savi: Will I see you tonight?
One step through the door and it hits me like a brick wall. I turn and heave my yummy steak right into the trash can.
“You’re still not better?” Zack asks, popping his head out from behind a fryer. His normally crisp white chef’s apron is all dirty because one of the cooks called in sick. He’s busy—I can see it on his face—and he’s stressed. Zack’s is a very busy restaurant. “Savannah, you’ve been vomiting for four days now. You sure it’s just the flu?”
I wipe my mouth with a spare napkin. I feel a little dizzy but stand and give him a smile. “I had the flu, but I'm over it now. I’m actually feeling a lot better, but I ate sushi from the supermarket and it didn’t go over so well.” I sure wasn’t going to admit it was a steak from Zack’s. His face twists, thinking about that damn sushi. I knew he’d gotten sick off it once before too. “Once it’s out of my system I’ll be fine,” I assure him.
“Go home, honey, and don’t come back till you’re better.” I start to argue, but he holds up a hand. “You’re only going to run yourself down, make yourself worse. One of the deals I made with Cole was to look out for you, and if he knew you were sick and still working...”
“Okay.” I hold my stomach, just wanting to get away from the smell. “I’ll go.”
I let Jake know I’m leaving. “I didn’t know you were still sick.” I shrug on my coat and pull on my knitted pink hat Abigail made me and lean into the counter, feeling worn out.
“I think I ate sushi too soon,” I lie, not wanting to tell anyone I’m still sick with this on again, off again flu.
Jake makes a gagging sound as he hands me my tips. “Let me know if you want me to bring you home anything.”
I step up and give him a hug. “Thanks.”
Heading into the night, the breeze feels good across my sweaty face. The nausea is passing, but I’m left completely drained. My stomach has been on a roller coaster of binge eating. My feet are moving, but my mind is dreaming about my pillow. My pocket vibrates and brings me out of my dreamy daze. I remove my mitten and yank it out.
“Hello?” I say without even looking at the number.
“Hey, baby, I was just going to leave you a message,” Cole’s voice washes over me, warming me momentarily. I stop to look into a toy store that has a red and pink display in the window.
“Hey, where are you tonight?”
I hear him shift in his chair. “I’m just wrapping a few things up. Been a long day.” He pauses. “I’m hard.”
I stop mid-step with a grin that makes all the tired feeling leave in a puff. “Oh, yeah?”
“Yeah.” His voice is deep and dripping with need. “I’m thinking about that little scrap of material you call a work shirt. The way your smooth skin looks against the color. The way your breasts pop out the top, begging for my tongue to run along them. I hate that shirt.”
“No, you don’t.” I laugh a little as I run my finger along the window, tracing around a train that a tiny teddy bear is sitting on.
“Mmm,” he chuckles, “I wish you were here. I hate that whenever my office door opens, I have a moment of hope it might be you, but it isn't.” My hand drops as I lean against the cold brick wall and wish he was here too.
“Sometimes…” I whisper, wanting to tell him I think it was a mistake to leave the house, that as much as I need to find myself, sometimes I wish I was back inside the comfort of its walls. I miss everything right down to the way it smells. A horn honks at a car waiting at a green light.
“Where are you?” His voice has lost its husky undertone.
I rub my head, the weariness creeping back in. “I’m walking home.”
“Why? Alone? Why now? “
“It’s nothing.” I sigh and push off the wall, starting my short walk home. “Zack overreacted. I ate something bad and got sick, so he sent me home—”
“So you are alone?” I hear a door close and pull the phone away from ear, squinting to concentrate on the sound. “Give me ten. I’ll be right there.”
I stop at a crosswalk. “By the time you get in the car, Cole, I’ll be walking into my apartment. I can see it now.”
“You should have called me, Savi.” His voice is q
uiet.
I yawn and my eyes water. “Cole, you need to stop worrying about me. Believe it or not, I did keep myself alive for twenty-six years.”
I hear ice, then a slow pour of liquid, no doubt brandy. “Sorry,” he mumbles. “I know you’re perfectly capable of walking a few blocks. But I’ll never stop worrying about you, baby. I’ve lost you too many times to allow it to happen again. Where are you now?”
I chuckle quietly. “Truthfully?” I glance at the stairs. “I’m waiting for the world’s slowest elevator because I’m too damn tried to walk up five flights of stairs.”
“You want me to come?”
“Always,” I respond without missing a beat, “but no, you enjoy your evening. Truly, I’m just going to shower and head to bed. Zack told me not to come back until I feel up to it, so I’m going to sleep in, and I’ll see you tomorrow at five for our date.”
“Well, don’t hang up with me until I know you’re inside, okay?”
“Okay.” I shove my key into the hole and unlock all the locks. When the door opens, I almost want to cry, I’m so happy.
“Hey, baby,” Cole says, sitting on my chair and holding a glass of brandy in my damn living room.
“How?” I ask, not really caring. I just want to be wrapped in his warm arms.
“Zack called me and said you weren’t well. I was already in town, and I was going to come by, but he said you had already left. I thought I’d surprise you.” He stands as I come over and rest my frozen cheek on his chest. His arms wrap me up, and I let out a sigh and a long yawn. “Why don’t you go get changed, and I’ll make you something to eat?”
“Okay.” I nod and peel myself away from him.
My shower lasts three minutes. I dry and slip into Cole’s army shirt that I love, and then crawl onto the couch where my makeshift bed is made. Cole sets a cup of soup on the table along with some crackers. He sits beside me and encourages me to eat, but instead I lay my head on his lap, pull the covers over me, and drift off to sleep with his hand combing my hair. It’s perfect.