by Russ Watts
Jonas asked Erik to help him with a chore after supper, and he told him everything about Terry’s plan to leave. Jonas knew he could trust Erik to be discreet, and it was a relief to share it with someone else. Erik was perfectly suited to being a cop. He just had that natural confidence about him, like he was your best friend and protector rolled into one. Jonas knew it was only because of Erik that he was still alive, and just as when they were growing up, they still relied on each other.
The fire crackled and popped, and the flames splashed across Erik’s face. Jonas looked at Pippa, who was fast asleep, and then across at Dakota. Her eyes were closed, but he wondered if she was pretending to sleep so she could listen in.
“For now, we’ll come with you. It’d be good to see Janey again.”
“Great. I’m so relieved, Erik. I really didn’t want us to split up. I’m telling you, things will be better up there. Once we find Janey we can make a real go of it. We can find somewhere safe, somewhere away from people, just us, and…”
“Hold on, Hamsikker, I said for now.” Erik yawned and lay down beside Pippa, careful not to wake her. “Once we find Janey, and she’s okay, I can’t promise what we’ll do next.”
“Okay, okay. I hope you’re not thinking of going back,” said Jonas. “Kentucky is a dangerous place now. There’s nothing back there for you, nothing but memories and graves. Saint Paul’s is gone. Your home is gone.”
“I know, I know.” Erik yawned again, but Freya began to stir, and she began crying in her sleep. “Hold on,” said Erik as he got up to attend to his daughter who was sleeping nearby.
Jonas listened in the dark as Erik tried to comfort Freya. She didn’t really wake from whatever nightmare she was having, but as Erik soothed her, she stopped crying.
“I know, I know,” whispered Erik repeatedly.
Jonas had never seen Erik cry, but it sounded like the man’s voice was breaking. It must be killing him that he couldn’t help his family.
“Close your eyes, and pretend we’re in Hawaii. Picture that sandy beach, and try to feel the warmth of the sun on your skin. Remember when we were there last year? Go back there, honey, go back. Just go to sleep, and dream about those pretty Hula girls and how good it was. We’ll go back one day, honey, but just sleep now. I’m here. I’ll always be right here beside you. I love you.”
Freya’s crying had stopped, and Jonas guessed she was probably fast asleep already. Despite her restless sleep, she was exhausted, and nightmares or not, she needed rest.
“I love you, Freya.”
Jonas felt guilty for listening, but it was soothing. The events of the day kept running around his mind, and dark images populated his thoughts. Restless, he turned over, but there was little he could do to force himself to sleep. He’d always been a poor sleeper, whereas Dakota could sleep through an earthquake. In fact, only a couple of years ago she had done just that when a large one had hit the west coast. He looked at her now, sleeping so peacefully. The blanket had slipped down, and as he carefully pulled the blanket up to her chin, he draped an arm over her. She was warm, and though he wanted to snuggle up to her, he didn’t want her to wake. She was tired like everyone else.
Erik returned, and Jonas gave up on the idea of sleeping before he took watch.
“Peter took Freya to the bathroom at the clubhouse yesterday and let her take a shower,” said Erik. “Peter told me it was the first time in weeks he’d seen her smile, like genuinely smile. My daughter doesn’t do enough of that anymore. She’s been scarred by all of this. I just hope it’s not permanent.”
“Kids are resilient,” said Jonas, trying to reassure his old friend. “She’s still here isn’t she? She’s tougher than you think. She’ll come round.”
Erik raised his eyebrows. “Resilient?”
“So I hear. Okay, so I don’t know anything about kids,” said Jonas, “but she’s kept it together this long, hasn’t she? Peter is amazing for her. Pippa, too, but Peter’s what, seventeen? He’s taken on so much, and I never hear him complain.”
“True. I’d do anything for my boy. He’s going to be an amazing man one day. I’m proud as hell of both of my kids, and that’s why I’m not ruling anything out or in. I just need to make sure I do what’s best for my family. When we get to Janey in a couple of days, then I’ll decide. We’ll decide.” Erik let out another yawn. “Let’s get some sleep. Gabe’s on watch, right?”
“Yeah, I’ll go switch with him shortly. Get some rest, Erik.”
Jonas made sure Dakota was warm and then took a look around the warehouse that was their home for the night. Using the blankets they had brought and some carpet samples they had found, everyone had a bed of sorts to call their own. Even though they had spent much of the day driving, it was still tiring. Jonas hoped Terry’s impending departure didn’t inspire a similar idea in Erik. In the morning Jonas intended to lay out his plans very clearly. There would be no more hiding or messing around. Gabe would have time to talk to Mara, and when they were all up, Jonas was going to make it clear that their best chance of survival was to head north to Canada.
He trudged to the now open vending machine with its front panel smashed in and pulled out a packet of chips. Jonas figured he may as well go up early and relieve Gabe of his shift on watch, as he didn’t feel like sleeping yet.
“Hamsikker, you got a second?” Quinn was making her bed for the night, laying out a blanket in a dark corner, and he had almost trodden on her in the dark.
“Sure. What’s up?” Jonas always had time for Quinn. He wasn’t in the mood to chat, and Quinn rarely wasted her breath on idle gossip, so he assumed it was important. “You know I never properly thanked you for earlier. Dakota freaked out, but you stepped up. I appreciate that.”
“No problem. That’s what we do, right? Watch each other’s backs?” Quinn looked around the room, but Gabe was off doing his rounds, and it seemed like everyone else was asleep. “I wanted to talk to you. How are you doing?” She struggled to find the right words. “I’m sorry about how things went down. These last couple of days have been hell. With everything that’s happened lately nobody would be surprised if you needed some time to, you know…adjust.”
“Adjust?” He knew Quinn was being polite. “You’re talking about the garage? What happened inside is my issue, not yours. If that’s all you want to talk about, then forget it.”
As he went to leave, Quinn grabbed his arm. “No. Look, I know it affected you, and I just wanted you to know that I understand. Seeing your friends die like that… Sorry, Hamsikker, but I wanted to talk to you about something else too. Please, just sit with me a minute.”
Quinn sat on the makeshift bed and drew her knees up to her chin. The way she was looking at Jonas was unusual, and he couldn’t work out what she wanted.
“Sorry, I didn’t mean to snap,” he said as he sat down beside her. The floor beneath the blanket was hard, but the room was warm and quiet. They were all exhausted, and he doubted she would have much trouble sleeping tonight.
“It’s nothing. For what it’s worth, I’m truly sorry. Anna and Mary were fun to have around. I don’t think Freya’s handling it too well, losing her friend. This whole thing has got her scared. We’ve lost some good people lately. Sometimes I still turn around to talk to Tyler, and I forget he’s gone. I know, I know, you don’t want to get into anything now, and that’s fine. If you ever do want to talk though, then I’m here.”
“Thanks, Quinn.” Jonas wanted to tell her about Terry’s plan to leave, but the less people who knew the better. It would be best to clear the air in the morning, make a fresh start as a group. “It’s not easy. Sometimes I lose sight of what we’re doing, where we’re going. I need to be doing something, though, and bumbling along doesn’t suit me. Before all this I used to plan and organize my life, but now it’s a mess. I wake up in the morning, and I don’t even know where to start.”
“Motivation, is that what you want?” asked Quinn. “How about living. I mean, you don’t
need to save up for that condo in Florida anymore. The two-week vacation in Bora Bora is off the menu, and the only thing you’re likely to pick up at Penny’s is a bad case of dead. Look, you’re alive; that’s it. There doesn’t have to be anything else or any more to life. All we do now is get by. That’s how we stay alive. We look out for each other. That’s our life now.”
Jonas knew Quinn meant well, but she was young and didn’t have the responsibilities that he did. “It’s funny. I used to be wired differently.” Jonas offered Quinn some chips, and they munched on them as they talked. “When I was a kid all I wanted to do was leave home, and get as far away from my father as I possibly could. Once I’d achieved that, I tried to make my fortune. My early twenties were a succession of dead-end jobs and bad choices in women. Don’t get me wrong, for a while there I loved it, but after a time you realize you need something more out of life. I finally got a good job, I met Dakota, and my life changed. I had a reason to live, not just a selfish one, but a real reason. Dakota made me happy, and I wanted to give her everything. I worked my butt off, and until a few months ago, I didn’t think life would change. I saw no reason to change anything, but then of course, it was forced on all of us. My father died, then he un-died, then he died again. My world was turned upside down, but you don’t need me to tell you that. You must have lost someone you love?”
“You don’t have a monopoly on guilt, Hamsikker. I saw my parents killed right in front of me,” said Quinn. “I saw my husband kill them, and there was nothing I could do about it. You talk of love. What I had with Roger… What’s past is past, right? Forget it and move on?” Quinn looked at Jonas accusingly with bitterness and anger in her eyes.
“I’m sorry.” Jonas instantly knew he should never have brought it up. Quinn was a private person, and he felt bad for making her open up to him.
“Don’t be. Just accept that life deals you a shitty hand sometimes, and there’s nothing you can do about it but grab what you can, while you can. I used to run with a bad crowd. I’m not proud of it, but that’s who I am. I’ve been hiding it, and I admit I’m not sure how Erik would take it, but the truth is I was part of a gang. At first it was all about hanging with the cool kids, then it progressed into a few muggings, and by the end we were holding up liquor stores at gunpoint. Roger was in on it too. I thought we were invincible. I thought we were bad motherfuckers, but we were just kids playing a role. In the end…”
Quinn trailed off into silence, and Jonas could see why she didn’t talk about herself much. “So you got out?”
Quinn laughed, but there was nothing funny about what she said, and her laughter was tinged with sadness. “Got out? No. On our last job, Roger got bitten. We thought it was some crazy drunk, and we put a bullet in his head. I got Roger home to my parents. We couldn’t exactly go to the cops about it, you know? I drank a bottle of bourbon, fell asleep, and when I woke up in the morning… well, that was when the world changed. Like you said, we’ve all lost someone.”
Quinn trailed off into silence again, and Jonas waited for her to continue, but she didn’t. “Like you said, what’s past is past. We’ve all done things we’re not proud of.” Jonas had no intention of telling anyone else about Cliff, but the man’s battered face would haunt him forever. “Was there anything else, Quinn, as I really should go up and relieve Gabe?”
“What do you think about our two new friends?” Quinn stared at the floor as she spoke. It was as if she was regressing to her childhood. Now she wasn’t out in the battlefield, she could let her guard down and relax. Maybe it was the talk of her old life that had her looking so dejected.
“Gabe and Mara? They seem like nice enough people, don’t you think?” asked Jonas. “And this place is just what we were looking for. Gabe was decent enough to take first watch. It’s warm and secure, so I don’t see why we shouldn’t be safe enough tonight. If it wasn’t for Gabe having the foresight to pack up that van, we would be half starving by now. Look, if we hadn’t found them when we had, then God knows what would have happened to us. Chances are we’d be out there getting our asses kicked. I think Gabe and Mara came along at just the right time.” Jonas was pleased the conversation had taken a more upbeat tone. He didn’t want Quinn dwelling on dark thoughts. He knew from experience that churning up old memories usually led to depression or anger, neither of which were useful in a world full of the walking dead.
“I guess so…” Quinn sighed. “It’s just that Mrs. Danick was talking to me earlier. She isn’t convinced that they’re so sweet. She thinks the innocence and sweetness is all a show. She swears they were arguing earlier. She says they’re hiding something.”
Jonas snorted. “Sorry, but come again? What is she basing this on? Did she elaborate on anything ‘cause it seems to me that they’re just about the nicest damn people we’ve met in a long time. They let us in and asked for nothing in return. Nothing. You know how rare that is in this world. What do you think?”
“They were perfectly pleasant, I have to admit, but…”
“But what? Other than a senile old lady’s theories, I don’t see the problem. Mrs. Danick might be a sharp shooter, but sometimes she’s not on the same planet as us. Two weeks ago she thought she saw Elvis. Remember? Did you believe her then?”
“That was different,” said Quinn. “She gets confused sometimes, you know that. Mara hasn’t said much, but Gabe can be a little blunt, if I’m honest. Mrs. Danick said he wasn’t in any of the photos back at Saint Paul’s, and I think…”
“I think,” said Jonas, “that you need to remember the only reason you’re alive right now is because Gabe and Mara let us in. I think you need to show a little more gratitude, and stop listening to Mrs. Danick’s crazy stories.” Jonas stood up and left Quinn staring up at him. She looked like a lost young girl as her brown eyes looked at his. “Get some rest, Quinn, you’re on watch in a couple of hours.”
Jonas hated leaving Quinn on bad terms, but she had dealt with far worse than a telling off from him. Tomorrow was going to be a fresh start for everyone. They had navigated their way out of Kentucky and managed to avoid coming into contact with many dead since leaving Saint Paul’s. Jonas slowly climbed the metal steps to the upper gantry to find Gabe. He vowed that he wouldn’t run away anymore. He wasn’t going to keep hiding, but he would confront things head on. Dakota was slowly coming around, and Erik would too. As long as Gabe played ball, there was no need for any more issues. If Mrs. Danick kept her head, then who knows, they could even make Canada by nightfall the next day. If they stayed clear of trouble, perhaps he could get Freya to open up too. His promise to Dakota was solid, but there was one thing he had to promise himself.
“I’m going to get us out of here, and then I’m going to find Janey.” He had to say it out loud to make it real. He couldn’t bottle it up anymore. Jonas stepped up onto the catwalk, and he saw Gabe at the far end of the warehouse. Now that Erik knew about Canada, Jonas’s resolve had been strengthened, and the last part of the jigsaw was Gabe. Mrs. Danick didn’t suffer fools gladly, and if she had convinced Quinn, then something might be up. There was no reason they couldn’t all get along. It was time to find out what Gabe wanted and who he really was.
CHAPTER SEVEN
They wanted to go into the office to look outside, so together they dragged the filing cabinet to one side, pushed back the flimsy wooden door, and entered the office. Satisfied there were no zombies around and that their vehicles were still parked up close by, Peter checked the other door that led outside. The key hung in it loosely, and he kicked a sheaf of papers underneath the reception desk.
“It’s locked, but it wouldn’t take much to get it open if a few of them came across us. We should get back inside before we’re spotted,” he whispered. The rain still fell and almost drowned out his soft voice.
Rose took Peter’s hand. Saying nothing, she pulled him to her and brushed her lips gently over his. She knew that she smelt good, clean and fresh, with a hint of perfume. In the clubhouse
lockers she had found a discarded gym bag with a half-empty bottle of fragrance inside, and she was putting it to good use. It was eerily quiet in the warehouse, and she had offered to take watch with Peter before dawn. With Peter being so young, it had sounded like a good idea to Erik, and he had practically encouraged the two of them to do the night watch together. The others were asleep, and now that they had reached the office, Rose pulled him close to her and let her lips rest on Peter’s. She pulled him closer, sensing what he wanted.
“Mara, stop, what are you doing?” Peter let go of her, confused. “We’re supposed to be on watch, what are you doing? Jesus.”
Rose smiled and maintained eye contact with Peter. He was making the right noises, but she knew how men worked, and she knew when their body was disagreeing with what they were saying. Most men wanted her, or at least used to, and she could deal with that. She used it to her advantage, and usually got what she wanted. Now that she was with Javier, she had decided to stop playing around and had taken up a different sort of game.
“Peter, don’t worry so much. I know what you want.” Rose slipped off her polo shirt and let the cold night air wrap around her body. The boy was scared, but excited. She was half-tempted to let him have her, but then the thought of anyone else inside her apart from Javier brought her senses sharply to the fore. She shivered at the thought of Peter laying a finger on her, let alone anything else. She would rather disembowel herself with a rusty nail than let a pig’s offspring touch her.