by Jill Mansell
“If Tamsin phones, it’ll be to tell me I’m dead.” A kind of hysteria struck Ginny. “She could call the police, have me done for assault with a deadly dessert. Oh God, what if she hasn’t been cheating on Finn? What if I made a—”
Drrrrrrrinnnggg. The sound of the doorbell caused both of them to jump off their chairs.
“This really isn’t good for me.” Ginny pressed a hand to her breastbone.
“I’ll go and see who it is.”
“No.” Shaking her head, Ginny said, “This is my mess. It’s up to me to sort it out.”
Her heart went into overdrive when she saw Finn, who clearly wasn’t in the mood to waste time.
“Can I come in?” Already over the threshold before Ginny could reply, he stopped dead when he saw Carla. Brusquely, he said, “Could you leave us?”
“No I couldn’t.”
“Carla.” Ginny tilted her head helpfully toward the door. “Please.”
“Please what?”
“Go home.”
“But he might chop you up into tiny pieces and feed you to that she-devil cat of his.”
“Out,” said Finn.
“Spoilsport,” Carla muttered as she left.
Chapter 57
“I’m not sorry about the sticky toffee dessert, so don’t expect me to apologize for that. And I’m leaving the restaurant, which saves you having to sack me.” The words came tumbling out; until that moment Ginny hadn’t even known she was going to say them.
“I wasn’t planning to sack you,” said Finn. “You don’t have to leave.”
Ha, he didn’t know the half of it.
“I’m still going to.” Her fingernails dug into her clenched palms. She was; it was the only way. Far better that he didn’t discover the truth.
“It’s all over, by the way. They’ve left.” Finn’s expression betrayed the way he felt. “Tamsin and Mae.”
Oh God, how awful for him.
“I’m sorry.” This time Ginny meant it. He must be devastated.
“It had to happen.” Finn shrugged. “Getting back together with Tamsin was never going to work. I wanted it to, because of Mae. But it’s no way to live. Tamsin wasn’t the one who left Angelo, by the way, before she arrived back down here. He chucked her. It all came out tonight. She’s been angling to get back with him for weeks. And was just about to, if she had her way.” Surveying Ginny, he added, “She still doesn’t know how you found out.”
There was no reason not to tell him now. “Carla was at the hairdressers. She overheard Tamsin arranging it on the phone this morning.”
“Carla again. I might have guessed. Anyway, it’s over. They’ve gone. I don’t imagine I’ll be seeing them again.”
How he must be feeling beneath the calm exterior didn’t bear thinking about. Feeling horribly responsible, Ginny said, “But you could if you wanted to.”
Finn shook his head. “It’s over, dead and buried. As far as I’m concerned it was over between Tamsin and me long ago.” He paused. “And Mae isn’t mine. I know that now. Saying good-bye hurt like hell, but it’s not like last year. This time it’s been kind of inevitable.”
“Really?” Well, that was a relief.
“Really. If I’m honest, I was looking for a way out. And for Mae’s sake it’s better that it happens sooner rather than later. So that’s it. All over.” Finn shoved his hands into his pockets. “Life doesn’t always turn out the way you expect, does it? You think you’re in control, but you’re not. It’s like getting on a plane to Venice, then getting off and finding yourself in Helsinki.”
Ginny’s stomach was in knots.
Tell him you’re pregnant.
I can’t, I can’t do it.
Just tell him.
I really can’t. God, news like that, tonight of all nights, could finish him off for good.
Aloud, she said, “Gavin and I went to Venice for our honeymoon. Maybe I should have gone to Helsinki instead.”
It was meant as a flippant remark to make him smile, but clearly Finn wasn’t in the mood. Almost angrily he said, “And did you think that at the time?”
Ginny was taken aback by his vehemence. “No, of course not. I knew what Gavin was like, but I was young and stupid. I thought I could change him.”
“And now?”
She shrugged. “Now I’m old and stupid. But this time he tells me he’s changed.”
“Do you believe him?”
Did a leopard ever really change his spots? Who knew? But when you saw Gavin and Bev together, they certainly seemed happy. “I’m a romantic,” said Ginny. “I want to believe it.”
Finn looked at her as if there was plenty more he wanted to say. Ginny pictured his face if she blurted out the truth.
Tell him.
No.
“Right.” Abruptly Finn said, “Well, good luck.”
“Thanks.” That was it, then. Resignation accepted. She wasn’t going back to work.
“Bye.” He turned and left the house, closing the front door without so much as a backward glance.
God, what a night. Ginny rubbed her face, then her hair. Too traumatized for tears, she picked up the phone to dial Carla’s number even though Carla was doubtless, at this very moment, watching Finn get into his car.
The next moment the doorbell rang again. Speak of the devil. Padding barefoot down the hall, Ginny pulled open the door and—
“You’re mad. I can’t believe you’re being so gullible.”
“What?”
“Gavin.” The look Finn gave her was fierce. “He’s going to break your heart.”
Mystified—yet at the same time ridiculously pleased to see him again—Ginny said, “Not my heart. What are you talking about?”
Finn was visibly taken aback. “So you’re not seeing Gavin?”
“Bloody hell, no! We’ve been divorced for nine years. I went out to dinner last night with him and his new girlfriend. Her name’s Bev and she’s lovely.” Ginny realized she was babbling. “And get this; she’s as old as me!”
“I thought you and Gavin were back together.” Frowning, Finn said, “When I dropped your cardigan off, Gavin was wearing your dressing gown.”
“His boiler broke down.” Gavin would think it was hilarious, Ginny realized, to answer the door in a girly dressing gown. “I said he could use my shower, that’s all. God, if I ever thought of getting back with Gavin I’d have myself certified.”
“Sorry. I can’t believe I got it wrong.” Finn shook his head, his expression unreadable. “So… um, will it work out, d’you think, with this Bev?”
“Truly? I shouldn’t think so for a minute. Bev’s great, like I said. But Gavin’s never going to change. This is a novelty for him. Personally I give it a couple more weeks.” It was a pretty irrelevant conversation but Ginny pressed on anyway. “And deep down, I think Bev does too. She said something last night about if it doesn’t work out, at least she’ll have got Gavin out of her system.”
There was a long pause. Finally Finn said, “Not necessarily.”
“Why not?”
He shrugged. “Doesn’t always work that way.”
“Well, they’re adults.” Ginny felt herself getting hot, unnerved by the intensity of Finn’s gaze. “Why are you looking at me like that?”
Because if he knew, she would just die.
“Probably because I slept with you and didn’t get you out of my system.”
Ginny’s knees almost buckled. “Wh-what?”
“Sorry. Being honest. You did ask.” Finn raked his fingers through his hair. “And I know you only wanted a one-night thing, but I haven’t been able to forget it. At all. Obviously, I couldn’t say anything before, and maybe I shouldn’t be saying it now.” He swallowed and Ginny heard the emotion in his voice. “But it’s been a hell of a day and I needed you to know how I feel about you. If I’m honest, it’s how I’ve felt the whole time Tamsin’s been back.”
Seconds passed. Ginny was speechless. Finally, she stammered
, “M-me too.”
It was Finn’s turn to look stunned. “Really?”
“Oh yes. God, yes. Really.”
He kissed her and she’d never felt so alive nor so terrified. Pulling away, Ginny blinked and said, “There’s something else I have to tell you.”
Finn wasn’t in the mood to take her seriously. “Don’t tell me you were born a man.”
Hardly. Ginny braced herself. “I didn’t mean it to happen.”
“Didn’t mean what?”
Her courage failed. “I can’t tell you.”
Yes you can.
No I can’t, can’t, can’t.
But you must.
“OK,” said Finn. “Is it good or bad?”
“I don’t know.”
“I love you. Does that help at all?”
Tears sprang into Ginny’s eyes. “I’m pregnant.”
Finn was motionless. “You are?”
“Yes.” She saw the look on his face, realized what he was wondering, and burst out, “It’s yours, I swear. I haven’t slept with anyone else—not for years. I’m sorry!”
To her relief Finn relaxed visibly, half smiling. “No need to apologize. I’m glad you haven’t slept with anyone else.” Glancing at her stomach he added, “Is everything OK?”
“With the baby? Oh yes. I’ve had a scan.”
“Were you ever going to tell me?”
“No. I thought I’d move to Scarborough.” Ginny was still in a daze of happiness. “Until this afternoon, you had a family.”
Finn pulled her into his arms. “I had a child who wasn’t mine and a girlfriend I didn’t love.” His gaze softened. “Even worse, I was in love with someone who worked for me, but couldn’t tell her because she was back with her ex-husband… hang on, so what was all that with the condoms?”
At last, a question she could answer. The two she and Carla had examined earlier were still in the fruit bowl on the kitchen table. Reaching over and fishing them out, Ginny said, “Tamsin wanted another baby last year, but you weren’t so keen. So she stuck a needle through every packet in the box.”
“Good job the vicar didn’t call round this evening.” Finn raised an eyebrow at the fruit bowl, then ran his fingers over the packet in his hand. “Just as well it didn’t work.”
“Except it did. Right result,” said Ginny, “wrong womb.”
“Are you kidding? Tamsin finally did something that turned out well.” Pushing her wayward hair back from her face, Finn said, “This could be the happiest day of my life. In fact, I think we should celebrate.”
Ginny trembled with pleasure as he kissed her again, then regretfully pulled away. “I should phone Carla. She’ll be wondering what’s going on.”
“Carla’s a grown-up.” Finn surveyed her with amusement. “I’m sure she can hazard a guess.”
“But she hates not knowing things. It drives her insane. Plus,” said Ginny, “she’ll come over and start hammering on the front door.”
Her mobile was still lying on the kitchen table. Picking it up and locating Carla’s number, Finn rang it.
Carla, evidently waiting on tenterhooks, snatched it up on the first ring. “I saw him leave and then go back in. This is killing me! You’re either shagging him or having the most almighty row.”
“Well done,” said Finn. “Your first guess was correct.”
“Waaaah!” Carla squealed.
“Thanks. We think so too. So we’d appreciate it if you didn’t come rushing over here because Ginny and I are going upstairs now.”
Ginny, seizing the phone, added happily, “And we may be gone for some time.”
***
The next morning it was necessary to make another phone call, this time to Jem.
“Hi, darling, how are you?”
“Great, Mum. Did you get the photos I emailed you?”
“I did.” Ginny smiled, because Jem’s happiness was infectious and the photos of her with Davy and Lucy attempting to roller-skate had been hilarious. “Listen, there’s something I have to tell you. It might come as a bit of a shock.”
Jem’s tone changed at once. “Oh God, are you ill?” Fearfully, she said, “Is it serious?”
“Heavens no, I’m not ill!” Looking over at Finn, squeezing his hand for moral support and feeling him squeeze hers in return, Ginny said, “Sweetheart, I’m pregnant.”
Silence. Finally Jem said soberly, “Oh, Mum. I don’t know what to say. I suppose it’s Perry Kennedy’s.”
“Good grief no, it’s not his!”
“Mother!” Stunned, Jem let out a shriek of outrage. “Excuse me, but do you even remember that big lecture you gave me before I left home to start university? And now you’re telling me you’ve gone and got yourself pregnant? How many men have you been sleeping with? And do you have the faintest idea who’s the father?”
Jem was screeching like a parrot. Aware that Finn was able to hear everything, and that he was finding her daughter’s reaction hugely amusing, Ginny offered him the phone.
“Oh no.” Finn grinned and held up his hands. “This time I’m leaving it all up to you.”
Chapter 58
Summer was over, autumn had arrived, and red-gold leaves bowled along the station platform, threatening to get on the line and cause untold havoc with the train schedule. Ginny’s mind flew back to this time last year, when she would have given anything for that to happen. Then she blinked hard, because although mentally she might be more able to accept it this time around, hormonally, any excuse for a well-up and she was off.
Luckily, distraction was at hand.
“Stop it,” said Jem.
“Stop what?” Gavin looked innocent, which was never a good sign.
“Ogling that girl over there.”
“I wasn’t.”
“Dad, you were. And the one who works in the ticket office.” Jem looked at Ginny. “You were chatting her up. We both saw you.”
“It’s called being friendly,” Gavin protested. “Can’t you lot ever give me the benefit of the doubt?”
After twenty years? Frankly, no. Ginny rolled her eyes and felt sorry for Bev. Their relationship had lasted four months, which was longer than anyone in their right mind would have predicted. But now, like a Big Brother contestant clinging on by her fingernails, narrowly managing to avoid being evicted each week, Bev’s time was pretty much up. She knew it, but just hadn’t the courage to make the break and walk away.
Gavin was never going to change.
“The train’s due in five minutes.” Jem was gabbling into her phone, excited to be on her way back to Bristol. “I’ve got three bottles of wine in my case, and two of Laurel’s cakes. Are we having pasta tonight?”
Ginny watched her, suffused with love and pride. Still deeply tanned after the three-week holiday in Miami, Jem was every inch the confident, vivacious nineteen-year-old looking forward to her second year of university. And she had plenty to look forward to, not least sharing a three-bed flat in Kingsdown with her two best friends. Poor Rhona. It hadn’t been easy, but she’d finally accepted that the time had come for Davy to leave home and—
“Ginny, is that you?”
Swinging round, Ginny came face to face with a large, florid woman in a too-tight tweed coat who clearly knew her from somewhere.
“My goodness it is!” The woman let out a cry of delight. “How amazing! How are you?”
Always a nightmare. Ginny hated it when this happened. Pretend you recognize them and attempt to bluff it out, or admit defeat and hurt their feelings?
“I’m fine! Gosh, fancy bumping into you here!” Since it was already too late to come clean, Ginny submitted to being enveloped in scratchy tweed and kissed on both cheeks.
“I’m just catching the train home! I’ve been visiting my aunt in Tintagel. It’s so good to see you again… you haven’t changed a bit!”
You have, thought Ginny, frantically attempting to peel back the years and picture the woman as she might have looked. To make matters
worse, Jem had now finished her phone call and was making her way over.
“My daughter’s catching the train too.”
“Your daughter? Well I never!” Beaming at Jem, the woman said, “And what’s your name?”
“I’m Jem.” Jem turned expectantly to Ginny. “Mum? Who’s this?”
Bugger, bugger. Ginny said, “Darling, this is… ooh, excuse me…” Pressing her hand to her mouth she failed to stifle a tickly cough, then another one, then another…
“Lovely to meet you, Jem. And I’m Theresa Trott. Your mum and I were at school together, ooh, many moons ago!”
Jem said brightly, “Oh! Friends Reunited.”
“Well.” Theresa looked bemused. “I suppose we are.”
Ginny cringed, wishing her daughter didn’t have the memory of an elephant when it came to names.
“No, I mean the website. You’re the one who contacted Mum last year.” Jem was delighted to have made the connection. “She drove up to Bath to meet you.”
“That was someone else,” Ginny said hurriedly.
“No it wasn’t! It was Theresa Trott!”
By this time thoroughly bewildered, Theresa said, “But I don’t live in Bath; I live in Ealing.”
“What’s going on?” Gavin joined in.
“Dad, do something with Mum. She’s lost her marbles.”
“OK, I’m sorry.” Ginny held up her hands. “I lied.”
Startled but determined to carry on as if nothing had happened, Theresa shook Gavin’s hand and said, “So you’re Ginny’s husband, how nice to meet—oh, I say!” Her eyes widened as Ginny’s voluminous white jacket parted to reveal the unmistakable bump beneath.
“Bloody hell!” Gavin stared at it too. Indignantly, he said, “Where did that come from? It sure as hell isn’t mine.”
He thought he was so funny. At that moment something snuffly brushed against Ginny’s left ankle. Relieved, she turned and scooped the little dog up into her arms and said, “Rescue me.”
Finn rose to the occasion like a pro. Back from taking Rocky for a discreet pee on a patch of grass outside the station, he fixed Theresa Trott with a winning smile. “Shall I explain? Gavin is Ginny’s ex-husband. I’m her future husband and the baby’s mine. The dog is ours as well. His name is Rocky. The baby’s due in January, and Ginny’s marrying me soon after that.”