by Golden Angel
"Grace..." His voice trailed off and then firmed as she ignored him. "Grace, look at me." He could see the reluctance in her as she turned her head to face him once again. At least she'd obeyed, even if the eyes that met his were entirely devoid of sparkle. They were practically doll's eyes, dead and empty. "I'm not going to hold your lovers against you. I want a fresh start for both of us. Our marriage needs to move forward, not dwell in the past."
The suggestion sparked an immediate response, but not at all the one he was expecting. Honestly, he'd thought that she'd be relieved he was being so reasonable, that she would at least grudgingly agree to such a tactic. Instead, her eyes came to life with fiery anger, her lip curling in a gorgeous, derisive sneer. She was suddenly so much more alive, as if his words had lit a flame inside of her.
"Your mistresses don't concern me," she spat the words out, showing them for the lie they were. "But I have no interest in starting anew with you. Why won't you just leave me alone?"
Alex felt his expression harden, knew it was turning into the dark, rock-like features for which he was known. It was the easiest way for him to hide his emotions. "Because you're my wife."
"Well, I don't want to be anymore! Honestly, how dense do you have to be? A rock has more capacity for both emotions and intelligence than you do!"
That was it. While he was willing to make some allowances for her anger, since she was obviously still holding a grudge, outright disrespect he would not tolerate. If starting fresh wasn't acceptable to her, then he would have to impose himself on her life until she came to realize that he wasn't going away and that he also wasn't going to tolerate rude behavior on her part. While he couldn't control how she felt about him, he could at least control how she treated him.
He'd seen how his friends curbed their wives' behavior, and how effective it was. He'd allowed Grace to run amok for far too long, showing no outright interest in how she behaved. Perhaps she thought he didn't care, the way a spoiled child would run rampant, trying to find boundaries. Well, Alex was going to set some. Starting now.
Quick as a snake, he grabbed Grace's hand and used the momentum of the carriage to pull her across the dividing space and over his lap. Her shriek of shock and outrage didn't detract from the rush of pleasure that he got from touching her. Especially once she was pressed against him, her bottom high in the air.
THUMP!
The layers of her skirt were definitely in the way. Alex immediately understood why Hugh had insisted on a bare bottom spanking. It was obvious that, while she was frozen with shock, the blow had barely touched her through all those layers of skirt.
"Alex, what the hell?!"
Insults and now cursing, which was not at all befitting of a lady. Grace wriggled on his lap, trying to squirm away, and igniting a response that she probably wouldn't have expected. Then again, just being near her aroused him, actually having her softness pressed against his lap and cock would have tried a saint.
"I told you Grace, we're starting our marriage over. While I understand that you may still be angry about some things, and I accept that, I will no longer tolerate certain behavior from you. Insults and cursing are both included in that." Ignoring her squeal and the way her nails were digging into his leg, through his pants, he flipped her skirts up.
She was wearing pantaloons beneath, but that was fine. The fabric was thin. He'd allow her some small protection, since this was the first time, and he knew that he was already pushing her quite a bit.
SMACK!
The sound of his hand impacting her flesh through one layer of fabric was much more satisfying than through her skirts. Grace cried out, struggling wildly now. Holding her firmly, his arm resting on her back and his hand gripping the far side of her waist, Alex started to spank her, doing his best to keep the blows evenly spaced across her bottom.
"There will be no more insults."
SMACK!
"There will be no more cursing."
SMACK!
"You will be civil if nothing else."
SMACK!
"We will work out our issues in private."
SMACK!"
"In public we will present a united front."
SMACK!
"And there will definitely be no more men," he said fiercely, allowing his emotions to bleed through.
SMACK! SMACK! SMACK! SMACK!
Grace was howling, crying, kicking. He could feel the heat emanating off of her bottom through the thin fabric of her pantaloons, and just barely see a pink glow. This wasn't a particularly hard spanking, but it was certainly more than she'd ever experienced. He knew that her father had never employed any means of discipline; Grace had said he tended to ignore his daughters unless he wanted something from them.
"There will be no more women for me, either."
"Alex, stop, please! Owwww, Alex stop!"
SMACK! SMACK! SMACK!
"Do you agree?"
"Stop, pleeeeeeeeease, it hurts, Alex, stop!"
"I need you to agree to my terms, Grace."
SMACK! SMACK! SMACK!
"I agree! I agree!"
Immediately, Alex stopped spanking her. He could feel the sobs that were wracking her frame, and he suddenly realized that he'd never seen her cry. The need to soothe her was almost overwhelming. Lifting her up, he sat her on his lap, letting her squirm and wriggle as much as needed to be comfortable sitting on his thighs when her bottom was probably burning. Digging a handkerchief out of his pocket, he wiped at her tears, cradling her with his other arm as he murmured about how pleased he was that she'd agreed.
Ignoring his aching erection wasn't pleasant, but it was worth it just to have her in his arms again.
******
Confusion swamped Grace as her tears overwhelmed her. The spanking had hurt, it surely had, but it shouldn't be making her feel like this. The skin of her bottom burned, sparks flaring as she tried to find a comfortable way to sit on Alex's hard thighs.
She shouldn't be enjoying having his arms around her, she really shouldn't, but it felt so good to be held and comforted while she cried. It was not something she had much experience with. Crying had never done any good when she was growing up, mostly it got her banished back to the nursery where her father wouldn't have to look at her tears, and so she'd soon learned not to. The last time she'd really cried had been the night she'd left Alex, and even those tears had dried fairly quickly, because she'd been well aware how useless they were.
So why was she crying now like her heart was broken? The tears weren't slowing, if anything they were increasing as he held her against him.
Her emotions were jumbled, jangling inside of her, like too many church bells rioting inside her head. While she knew that she should be furious with Alex, and she still was, she couldn't help but crave being held and comforted. Even though he was the one who had caused her distress, both in the past and today. The very idea that he thought he could spank her into compliance should have enraged her.
It would, she was sure it would, as soon as she managed to stop crying.
Some small part of her, some tiny remnant of her heart that he hadn't managed to crush yet, was pulsing with hope. That's what angered her the most. He'd sounded like he cared while he was spanking her. Not the edict that they would present a respectable face to the public, which was what she'd expected of him, but when he said there would be no more men. It was the way he'd said it. Like it tormented him to know that she'd had other lovers, like it had hurt him as much as his first affairs had torn at her. Stupid, really, to think that it might be true. She knew how he really felt about women, how he felt about her.
One woman is as good as another.
But then why track her down like this? Why spank her? Why not just negotiate for whatever it was he wanted from her? Even if he didn't want the scandal of divorce - which she didn't understand, since she'd made herself a much greater scandal than a divorce would be - she would have expected him to come at her with a very different agreement. One which wo
uld allow him to keep his mistresses, and her to continue on with her affairs, as long as she bore his heir and became discreet. In other words, as long as they acted like the rest of the unhappily married couples in the ton.
Grace could have said no to that. It would have been easy. She didn't want any part of marriage to a man who had no emotions for her. She wanted her freedom. But this? The rawness in his voice when he'd said there would be no more women for him had made it sound like a promise. A vow. She wanted to believe him, which made her furious at herself.
Her tears were finally starting to slow and she tried to push away from him, but his arms tightened.
"Stay... just stay still, Grace. Let me hold you for a while." The hoarseness in his voice made him sound almost desperate. Unless, of course, she was imagining things that weren't there, the way she had when they'd first married. But his arms weren't loosening.
She was so tired of fighting. Not just today. It felt like she'd been struggling against impossible odds for years. The welcome numbness of exhaustion enveloped her, and she slumped against him, letting him hold her because it was easier than continuing to fight.
******
Alex knew the moment Grace finally woke up, because she practically vaulted out of his arms. The wild look she gave him was replaced with an angry, pained one as soon as her bottom came into contact with the carriage bench. It was all he could do not to chuckle, but he didn't want to provoke his little wildcat of a wife any further.
Tilting her chin up, she gingerly settled back into her seat, smoothing down her hair and clothing as if pretending he didn't exist.
The past hour had been the best hour he'd had in years. Grace had reluctantly settled into his arms and then she'd fallen asleep on his shoulder, her sweet scent surrounding him, her curves resting against him. It had also been an exercise in self-control, because his body had responded to having a woman nestled up against him, especially because it was finally the right woman. Despite the aching torment of his cock, he'd fully enjoyed every last second of it.
Even now, he could barely tear his eyes away from the crease on her cheek, left from where it had pressed against his jacket.
He'd spanked her and she'd let him hold her. And she'd agreed to his terms for the future of the marriage. Obviously his friends were right. He should have taken her in hand years ago.
Chapter 2
Unruly emotions clamored inside of Grace's stomach, and she was grateful that Alex seemed content to finish the rest of the afternoon's ride in silence. It felt like she was burning, inside and out. Humiliation swept through her - truly, how stupid was she to pretend that perhaps he cared for her? - along with anger at herself, embarrassment at how easily he'd handled her, and the small, sick hope that maybe he somehow did care. She could still feel his eyes, occasionally sweeping over her, but she resisted the temptation to look at him.
Something had changed within him, obviously, and she didn't yet know how to react. Nothing was going the way she thought it would, and it put her entirely off balance.
Her bottom still smarted a bit, although the pain had swiftly dwindled. Grace's father had never disciplined her in such a manner. It would have taken effort on his part. Whenever she'd misbehaved, he'd solved it by the simple expedient of banning her from seeing her mother or sisters. Then he didn't have to deal with her at all. Loneliness was a swift teacher for a little girl. It had been her father's coldness that had spurred her desire for a marriage with something more; a man who was capable of loving her would certainly be capable of loving her children. After all, she'd seen Eleanor and Hugh's parents' relationship, she knew what a marriage could be.
Alex's determination to reconcile made her wonder if that faint spark of hope might have some justification. Immediately she squashed the thought. He'd already shattered her heart once, there was no need to give him the opportunity to grind it into dust.
Still, when they pulled up to an inn that evening, she allowed him to help her out of the carriage when he offered his hand. Although she avoided meeting his gaze.
After so many years of taking care of herself, it felt almost nice to allow him to take the lead. The few times she'd traveled with a lover, she'd always insisted on having her own room and managing her own affairs. They'd always let her. Now she was settled into a private room off to the side of the main dining room, being served her supper while Alex made arrangements with the innkeeper. She was able to relax, to sit in privacy, and not have to worry about the carriage or the bill or the room or anything at all.
Her thoughts wandered as she picked at her food. In less than a day, her life felt as though it had changed irrevocably - again. This morning she'd been Conyngham's lover, now it seemed as though Alex was determined to have her back in her place as his wife. While she didn't understand his motivations, perhaps they didn't truly matter. What she needed to decide upon was her next course of action. Her scandalous behavior hadn't driven him away, although he'd remained separate from her for years because of it. Obviously it hadn't been enough.
So what would be?
Would anything be enough?
Although he'd procured her agreement to the rules for reconciliation in the carriage, Grace didn't consider herself bound by those. Agreement under extreme duress wasn't agreement at all. She shifted uneasily in her chair. What would his reaction be if she were to break that agreement? Would he decide that she wasn't worth the continued effort? Or would he spank her again?
A hot flush went through her at the thought and she frowned at the entirely inappropriate reaction.
Of course she didn't want him to spank her again. The entire idea was ludicrous. It had been humiliating and painful, even if being cuddled by him afterwards had been nice. In its own way, that had been rather humiliating too. She shouldn't enjoy receiving any kind of comfort from the man.
Alex came back into the room, undoing the elaborate knot of his cravat and leaving it hanging around his neck. The collar of his shirt gaped open, and Grace averted her eyes, all too aware of the attraction that immediately flared in her. Her favorite time of day during their brief period of happiness had always been the evenings, when Alex would take off his jacket and cravat, the pieces of clothing he found most stifling, and just relax with her. Those were the softer times, when they would sit and talk, or read together, or play games, or when he'd start stripping off her own clothing and make love to her in whatever room they happened to be in.
She hardened her heart as Alex stripped off his jacket as well, before coming to sit down across from her. A tense silence reigned as he filled his plate, and her stomach began to roil nervously. It vexed her even more when Alex didn't seem at all affected; he began to eat, ignoring her, while she pushed her food around her plate and snuck peeks at him from beneath hooded eyes. Not once did he look at her though.
"Is my room ready?" she asked, her voice low and tense, closed-off so as not to betray her hope.
"Yes, but don't leave yet. I want to talk to you about where we're going."
Grace snorted. "Why bother? It's not like it makes a difference."
"I'm sure Eleanor will be happy to disagree with you," he said, ignoring her waspish tone. His eyes flicked up to her face, gauging her reaction to her friend's name. Even though his expression was hard, for just a moment she was almost able to believe that he actually cared, just a little bit, about what she thought. "We'll be joining her and Edwin in Bath for Wesley's wedding."
Irene had told her about the engagement, and Grace couldn’t help the little thrill that went through her at hearing she would be able to attend. She’d always loved social events anyway, and this would be a major one. The man was notorious for his affairs, his dangerous good looks, and his dark edges. He hadn't even had a full Season in the ton, but the matrons were full of gossip about his domineering manner and his scandalous perversions. Not that it made any difference; women had fallen all over themselves to trip into his bed.
Now he was getting married? That had b
een the stunned question on London’s lips.
"Well, it will be the wedding of the Season," she murmured, her lips twisting in humor that she would be there to witness it. Those same gossiping matrons would be shocked and disapproving at her inclusion in such a major event. Especially if it was at her husband's side. The tiny smile faded immediately.
From the glint in Alex's eyes, he'd caught her small moment of weakness, but thankfully he didn't say anything about it.
"It will be large enough, although not everyone will be able to leave the capital to attend. However, Hugh and Irene will be there and I expect you to behave yourself."
Grace bristled at his patronizing tone.
"I have no issue with Irene," she snapped, feeling a rush of vindictive pleasure at the surprise on his face, knowing that he could hear the sincerity in her voice. The confusion on his face was almost soothing to her temper. She smiled thinly. "She came to apologize to me before she and Hugh left London. We're quite friendly now." That was stretching the truth a bit, but it was worth it to see the dumbfounded look on her husband's face.
"Irene came to apologize to you," he repeated, as if having trouble even comprehending the words she'd used. As if he was trying to figure out what sweet, favored Irene would have to apologize to Grace about.
Irene had always been a sore subject between them, and after Grace had overhead Alex talking to her father, she'd outright hated the other woman. One woman is as good as another - except for Irene. The young redhead had been so obvious in her adoration for Alex, and Alex had been devoted to her. He'd brushed off Grace's discomfort with Irene's behavior even when he'd been pretending to dote on her when they'd first been married. Then, when she'd listened to that blasted conversation, she'd realized that all women were interchangeable to Alex, except for Irene. She was a constant, a woman who stood out above all the rest, and Grace's bitterness had nearly overwhelmed her every time she'd been faced with the woman.
The apology had helped, and Grace knew it wasn't Irene's fault that Alex was the way he was, but she didn't know if things would ever truly be friendly between them.