by Golden Angel
“He would,” Eleanor muttered. She looked at Grace apologetically. “After our father taught him, I can only imagine that Hugh would take up the mantle of an instructor.”
“In his defense, I had accused him of beating me, in front of Alex,” Irene admitted. She sighed and looked a bit guiltily at Eleanor. “That was before I really knew the difference between a spanking and a beating. I thought he was a monster, but as he was instructing Alex, I realized how careful he was being with me. He was only proving to Alex that I wasn’t being abused.”
“Apparently Alex soaked it up,” Grace said. Strangely, it hadn’t even occurred to her to think that he’d actually beaten her. Of course, she’d actually been hit by her own father before, and not on her bottom. Her father had never cuddled her afterwards either. It was fascinating to know all the different reactions that the women had to being disciplined by their husbands.
Eleanor was the only one who had grown up being spanked, obviously. She had been resistant at first, to having such discipline continue in her marriage, but she’d also found that it was very different being spanked by her husband. There were aspects that she certainly enjoyed. Sheltered Irene had been horrified and frightened by her first experience, and it had taken her some time to realize that Hugh had actually not brutalized her when he’d disciplined her. Now she knew, and her and Hugh’s relationship was better than ever. She’d never actively court punishment, however, like Cynthia was. Cynthia’s enjoyment went far beyond anything Eleanor expressed. And then there was Grace herself, who was confused by her reactions and wondering what it all meant to Alex.
Should she be worried that he’d watched Irene being spanked? She considered the brief stab of jealousy she felt for just a moment before dismissing it. There was no way Hugh would be willing to share any significant part of his wife. Grace had known him for too long to think that Alex had seen anything worth her being jealous over. Cringing, she remembered that she didn’t want to be jealous over anything to do with him anymore, she shouldn’t care what he had done or seen with anyone. Not when she still wasn’t sure of his motives.
After behaving the way he wanted and following his lead for the past few days, which had been the easiest route when she’d been trapped in a carriage with him, she was feeling much more rebellious. So he wanted to reconcile? Perhaps he thought she would just fall in line, as she had so far, but now they were no longer traveling and she had some allies here. If they were going to reconcile, they were going to do so on her terms.
She refused to have a marriage that was based on nothing more than his business agreement with her father and his need for a legitimate heir. If he wanted to reconcile only to show London that he had control over his wife, then he was going to be sorely disappointed. Perhaps he thought disciplining her would keep her in line and that’s when he decided to reconcile, but a spanking or even a birching wasn’t going to keep her from behaving exactly as she wanted if he wasn’t willing to give her what she needed from their marriage as well.
As if her thoughts had conjured the devil, the door to Eleanor's drawing room opened, and he was standing there, next to Lord Hyde. Even beside Hyde's dramatic dark looks, her eyes were still immediately drawn to Alex. His gaze skipped over the ladies in the room, landing only briefly on Irene, but without the usual broad smile he reserved for her. Something in Grace's chest unclenched and she realized how tense seeing the two of them looking at each other still made her. But for once, Alex was behaving the way she’d always wanted him to; his attention didn't immediately go to Irene, instead it passed over her after only a moment to land and fix upon his wife. Now she truly did believe Alex's apology, and Irene's. She'd appreciated both, but deep down, some part of her had still doubted.
"Ladies," Lord Hyde said, with a charming smile that encompassed the entire room. A practiced rake's smile, but the glow in his eyes was for Eleanor alone. The look he gave her was the way Grace had always wished Alex would look at her. "I just stopped in to inform you that you're all invited for dinner, along with your husbands - and future husband," he amended slightly as he glanced at Cynthia. She beamed happily at him and he smiled back before returning his gaze to Eleanor. "I've already told Cook and Mrs. Hester to prepare dinner for eight."
"Thank you," Eleanor murmured, smoothing her hands over her skirt in an almost nervous gesture. She nodded her head at Alex. "Lord Brooke. Have you met Miss Bryant?" Gracefully she gestured at Cynthia, who was staring at Alex with fascination. Most likely because of the information Grace had just revealed about his spanking tendencies. If Irene had been gazing at him in such a manner, Grace would have bristled, but from Cynthia it didn't feel threatening at all.
"Lord Brooke," she said, very prettily, standing and dropping into a brief curtsy, proving that she could behave when she wanted to.
Alex studied her in that somber, serious way of his, before giving her a slight bow in return, from the doorway. "Miss Bryant, a pleasure." His eyes returned to Grace before he backed slightly out of the room, giving Edwin space to reach for the door again.
"We'll be in the library till dinner,” Edwin said to his wife, giving her a last, soft smile before closing the door behind him.
With the door safely shut between herself and her husband, Grace began to breathe again.
"Wonderful!" trilled Cynthia as she returned to her seat. "A whole meal without having to talk about the wedding!" She rolled her eyes. "The Countess is relentless."
******
Gathered in the billiards room, Wesley quickly claimed Alex as a partner, while Hugh and Edwin paired up. Neither of them had played with Alex back in London, so they didn’t realize what a smashing player he was. Wesley and Alex trounced them for the first game, as Wesley had always been a keen billiards player as well, and Hugh and Edwin had demanded a change of partners for the second game. Both of them were reasonably good players, but Wesley and Alex excelled at the trickiest shots and angles.
Conversation, which had been mostly about the game itself, began to turn round to the ladies down the hall. Alex had enjoyed seeing Grace with the other women, smiling and laughing as if she was one of them in more ways than just friendship. The others were all happy wives and he wanted her to be one too. Perhaps their influence was just what she needed.
“I’m glad you and Grace could make it in for the wedding,” said Wesley, coming to stand beside him while Edwin took a shot. His slightly raised brows also indicated his surprise that he’d gotten Grace to accompany him at all. “I was surprised you came together.”
“It took some convincing on my part,” he said. Hugh tilted his head, watching them from across the table and obviously listening in. Only Edwin seemed to be focusing on the billiards table, finding the perfect angle for his shot. “But she seems to be coming round.” He hesitated for only a moment before continuing. Part of him didn’t want to share too much of his marital life with Grace, but another part recognized that these men all had much more experience in administering discipline to their wives and so far that was where he felt he’d made the most progress in regards to Grace. “I ah… disciplined her on the trip.”
The balls on the billiards table clicked, one of them sinking into the far pocket as Edwin straightened, raising his dark brows at Alex. “Not to force her compliance I hope?”
Although the question was mild, there was an undercurrent of danger there if Alex answered incorrectly. None of these men would take it kindly if Alex was spanking Grace for anything other than deserved punishments. From someone else he might have taken offense, but he knew that Edwin and the others only had Grace’s best interests at heart and he couldn’t be upset about that.
“For cursing at me and insulting me,” he answered. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Hugh nod his approval. “I won’t tolerate that, even if she’s still angry at me. Which she is, but I would never punish her for her feelings, only for the way she expresses them if she becomes disrespectful or rude.” He felt the need to explain that. Even thoug
h Edwin, Hugh and Wesley were all his friends, they hadn’t known him as long as they’d known each other, and he wanted them to completely understand where he was coming from.
“That’s good,” said Hugh, giving him a sympathetic smile. “She’s probably going to be holding a grudge against you for a while. You could wear your hand out and still not make a dent in her emotions.”
“Plus, all you’d be teaching her is to keep quiet about what she’s feeling, and it’s hard enough to tell what a woman wants even when she’s talking to you.” Edwin said as he walked around the table, looking for his next shot.
“She’s certainly not doing much of that,” he muttered, giving a small sigh. If only he should be so lucky as to have Grace actually telling him what was going on in that beautiful head of hers.
“Give it time,” Wesley said, with his usual rakish grin. “She’ll come around. Women like to see us making an effort.” If anyone would know what a woman wanted, it was certainly Wesley. Alex had been considered a rake as well, but he’d never seen women flock to anyone the way they had to Wesley. He was just different enough from the rest of the men in the ton, with his long, sun-bleached hair and tanned skin, for them to be fascinated by him.
“And be consistent,” Hugh said. Something about his voice made it sound like he repeating a rule he’d learned by rote. Which, of course, he had when his father had been giving him lessons. “Don’t ever let her get away with something, no matter how much she begs or pleads. Don’t get distracted or allow her to seduce you. If you say that she’s going to be punished for something, then she needs to be disciplined every time she makes an infraction. Otherwise it’s just confusing for everyone involved.”
“Noted,” Alex murmured.
A tension he hadn’t even noticed was there seemed to be lifting from his shoulders as the men all showed both approval and encouragement of his actions. Since his father had never administered corporeal punishment to Alex, it wasn’t something he was familiar with and he was reassured by having others to converse on the subject with. Men who knew his and Grace’s history and who were supportive of the reconciliation. Before meeting Wesley, he hadn’t encouraged any relationships with anyone, because most of the men of the ton were either vehemently disapproving of Grace or wanted to seduce her. He’d found that he had little patience with men who spoke disparagingly of his wife, and none at all with the others.
******
Alex had to admire Lady Hyde's acumen when it came to seating arrangements. She'd put him in between herself and Cynthia, buffering him from Irene and giving Grace the space she needed to relax. Cynthia was next to Hugh, which allowed Wesley to sit across from her and keep a weather eye on her antics. Although, so far, she'd been quite pleasant, if a trifle overly familiar with all of the gentlemen. It was obvious that she didn't mean anything by it, it was just in her nature to be both friendly and flirtatious. Alex was fairly certain that she didn't even realize the full extent of her attractions - she seemed to save all of her calculated flirtations for her husband.
Although that didn't stop Wesley from giving Hugh a dark look when Cynthia giggled at yet another of his many quips. Fortunately Irene didn't seem to be upset or jealous over Hugh and Cynthia's conversation.
Tonight, Alex had realized just how much he'd watched over Irene in the past, obviously to the detriment of his own marriage. His automatic response was always to check on her, ensure that she was enjoying herself and that she wasn't feeling left out or overwhelmed. Now his attention was more on Grace, but he still felt that old, familiar tug on his senses, demanding that he protect the young woman he considered his little sister.
Even with Hugh there, it was hard to mentally hand off responsibility.
But he did his best, listening to the conversation between Eleanor, Grace and Wesley, very occasionally adding his own input. At the head of the table, Irene and Edwin were talking about Hugh's estates and life in the country. He was telling her about his parents, whom the ton knew as eccentrics, seeing as they didn't even come into the capital for the Season if they could help it. As the dinner went on, it became easier to ignore Irene; helped, of course, by his greater interest in his own wife.
"Where will go you after the wedding is over?" Grace was asking Wesley. Her eyes flitted over to Alex, and then immediately away again when she saw that he was looking at her. The question garnered Cynthia's attention, turning her away from Hugh, as she looked at Wesley, her head cocked slightly to the side. Apparently, whatever plans he had, he hadn't seen fit to inform his future wife about.
"We hadn't discussed it yet," Wesley said, a small smile alighting his face as he looked over at his soon-to-be wife. "Probably somewhere on the Continent."
"Paris," Cynthia said definitively, her eyes coming alight with excitement at the thought of seeing new places.
Wesley raised an eyebrow at her. Paris was certainly a popular choice, but he wasn't entirely enamored of the idea of Cynthia surrounded by Frenchmen. Men were always going to be intrigued by her ample charms, but the French would certainly be the most outspoken about it.
"Perhaps," he allotted. "Italy is also beautiful this time of year."
Cynthia opened her mouth as if to argue, and then seemed to think better of it as Wesley gave her another warning look from across the table. Alex wondered if he could use such a look to the same effect with Grace. Probably not, since she was doing her best to avoid his gaze anyway. During the dinner he’d made it a point to study the other men and how they interacted with their wives. All three of them made great use of certain, firm, looks when they felt like their wives were bordering on being rude or beginning a discussion they didn’t approve of. More interestingly was how they easily managed to catch their wives’ eyes.
A small shift in position, a discreet cough, and that was all it took. Alex was determined to try it with Grace eventually, although from watching her he knew that she was peeking at him on a regular basis anyway. He didn’t even try to hide his own focus on her, he wanted her to see how she took up his attention entirely.
"Eleanor and I quite enjoyed Paris," Edwin said, grinning down the length of the table at his wife. The blushing, happy look she gave him only reminded Alex of the way he and Grace used to have such easy intimacy and significant looks. Hell, he used to smile; now, whenever he did so, it felt like a strain on his facial muscles, they were so out of practice.
Still, they were at this dinner as a couple, and despite the moments of tension, overall the evening was going well. Grace hadn't been rude or insulting, she'd even responded to him once during the conversation, and sometimes it was almost possible to forget that they were the only unhappy couple at the table. This was what he'd been missing all these years.
The intimate gathering was something he’d been missing as well. This was the kind of small party that marked very deep friendships, where there was no pomp or circumstance, no social masks or pretense. Not since his school days had he had friendships this close, and it was all the more enjoyable because they were Grace’s friends as well. If anything could help heal the breach between him and his wife, it was the people around this table.
******
They rode back to their house at the end of the evening in silence. In some ways, Grace wished this evening had never happened. When Alex was being pleasant and charming, when they were surrounded by friends and enjoying themselves, it was almost hard to remember that things hadn't always been that way between them. Tonight had been so close to being everything Grace had hoped for, wished for, in a marriage. Except that it was years too late.
It made her irritable, despite the nice night that she'd had.
"Come on, Gracie," Alex said, holding out his hand to help her out of the carriage.
"Can't you just call me Grace?" she asked waspishly, only holding on to his fingers as long as she had to. As soon as her feet were firmly planted on solid ground, she snatched her hand away, and felt slightly mollified by the flash of irritation in his eyes.
"If you wish," he said, his voice carefully amiable.
Which just made her want to poke at him more. After tonight, she truly believed that he wanted to start over and pretend as if nothing in the past had happened. While that meant that he would forgive and forget her lovers, she was finding it quite a bit harder to forgive and forget his transgressions. Perhaps because she had been ordered to, rather than being allowed to make that decision on her own. Instead, she was just supposed to go along with what he wanted.
Even if he was acting like a caring husband in public, in front of their friends, she was sure that there must be some kind of nefarious reason underneath. She didn't put any credence in Eleanor's theory that he had missed her. Why would he? He'd proven very early in their marriage that any woman truly was as good as another. It was more likely that he just wanted to eradicate the scandal of their marriage by resolving it and showing Society just what a big, strong man he was.
After all, he'd not demanded his marital rights. He could have. But he wasn't interested. As long as she behaved in public and didn't take any lovers... but then how would he get his heir on her?
Maybe he thought she was so lustful and amorous a woman that if he could keep her from taking any lovers, she would eventually turn to him out of pure need. Grace snorted as she made her way up the stairs, doing her best to ignore the looming presence of her husband as he followed her. While she had taken lovers, she hadn't had nearly as many as he. Besides, she'd learned to take care of her own needs. He could insist she sleep beside him and guard her bed all he wanted, she would be perfectly fine remaining abstinent.
But would he be?
She supposed he might be able to find another mistress, even if he was guarding his wife's bed every evening. It would just take some juggling of his time. Then again, he'd always been very busy, both with his estates and with his business. Perhaps he wouldn't have time.
It bothered her that she liked the idea of Alex being unable to indulge with a woman other than herself. Of course she took pleasure in the thought that he'd been tormented by a man's need to spend his seed regularly, but she also knew that it was more than that. Some part of her heart was soothed knowing that he would no longer be sharing his body with other women. Even after all these years and all those other women. Although, at least she'd had her own pleasures looked after as well. And if the bloody bastard did find another mistress, after insisting on this reconciliation, Grace would hop into the bed of the first man to cross her path. But she’d go much farther than she had before. She’d tell the world about it, she’d claim that Alex was an incompetent lover and that that’s why she’d left him the first time. Some probably wouldn’t believe her, and some women would know differently, but she could always claim that he paid them to say that. She would make sure he knew what it felt like to be utterly humiliated. The thought should have made her feel triumphant with possible vengeance, but instead she felt heartsick at the idea of him being with another woman, again. Sometimes she wished she could cut her heart out of her chest. Useless organ that it was.