Soul Love

by Lynda Waterhouse

  ‘We went to the first ever Netherby Festival when we were teenagers,’ Mum explained.

  ‘We both fell in love with the same boy,’ Sarah added, giggling.

  Mum laughed. ‘We trailed him round a field for hours on end.’

  ‘Scary thought,’ I said as Marcus jumped up and down on the sofa, screeching, ‘Did you kiss him? Did you kiss him?’

  ‘That’d be telling,’ Mum said with a wink.

  ‘Please don’t do that,’ I said darkly.

  ‘Marcus, you can help me run the poetry tombola,’ Sarah said. She was looking more like her normal self.

  Marcus frowned. ‘What’s that? It sounds weird.’

  ‘It’s great fun. People pay money for a ticket and if they pull out a raffle ticket that ends in zero or five, then they win one of my poems.’

  ‘Can I keep some of the money?’ Marcus asked.

  ‘No way,’ said Mum.

  ‘I’ll pay you a fee for managing the stall,’ Sarah said.

  ‘I want paying in money, not poems,’ Marcus said and we all laughed.

  ‘So my dark horse of a daughter is now a backing singer in a band.’ Mum sat next to me on the sofa and patted my knee.

  ‘Not just backing. I’m going to sing a song too – “Because the Night!” ’

  ‘My favourite song!’ Mum exclaimed.

  ‘I’m doing an anti-folk version,’ I explained.

  ‘Oh, I see,’ she said, clearly not seeing at all.

  ‘It’s an alternative music to manufactured pop music. Apart from my song, everything else has been written by the band.’

  Mum jumped up and asked, ‘Sarah, is that old trunk of mine still in the box room?’

  ‘I think so …’ Sarah said, frowning. I guess she couldn’t be sure what else Kai had taken a fancy to.

  Mum dragged me upstairs while Sarah and Marcus made hot chocolate. She pulled out a dusty old trunk from underneath a pile of cardboard boxes in the box room.

  As soon as we were on our own she said, ‘Spill.’

  I shook my head, but inside I was panicking. What did she know?

  But I was just being paranoid. Of course Mum didn’t know anything about Gabe. Is this how keeping other people’s secrets made you?

  ‘Let me remind you, my little clam of a daughter, that Sarah is my sister. She looks terrible. What has Kai done this time?’

  It was a relief to be able to tell Mum something about what had been bothering me. I left out the bit about Sarah accusing me of stealing the vase, but I kept in the bit about Kai’s pregnant girlfriend.

  Mum didn’t say much, but I could see by the tightness around her mouth that she was cross.

  ‘Aha. Here it is.’ She pulled out a crackly cellophane-wrapped parcel. She handed it to me.

  Inside it was a T-shirt. The cotton was thin and on the front was a faded screen print of Patti Smith.

  ‘I bought it from a second-hand clothing stand in Camden Market about twenty years ago. It comes from her first concert in London in the 1970s. You can wear it.’

  It was perfect! ‘Thanks, Mum.’

  Gabe would love it, I thought. Then suddenly I glanced at the clock. It was already twenty past ten. It would take me at least another ten minutes to race to the treehouse. Would Gabe wait for me?

  ‘Forgot something for the concert!’ I yelled as I ran down the stairs two at a time.

  I was out of the door before anyone could stop me.

  Chapter Thirty-Two

  Too late. By the time I’d made it to the treehouse, there was no sign of Gabe.

  ‘You could have given me a chance and waited!’ I yelled to the empty space.

  When I got back I noticed that there was a scrap of paper with a stone holding it down on the wall opposite the cottage, where Gabe liked to sit. It was a page torn out of his astronomy notebook. On the blank page he had written:

  I understand, and you’re probably right ending things now. It’s too difficult for us to be together.

  Thanks for what we had.

  Love, Gabe

  I started back down the hill. I had to catch up with Gabe and explain that I was only late because Mum had showed up and that I wasn’t brushing him off.

  I made it as close as I could to Netherby Hall, but the road leading up to the house was fenced off and a group of menacing security guards stood outside. The festival had transformed the quiet countryside into a bustling city.

  I turned back to walk down the hill past a stream of parked cars queuing to get into the festival site. I had to let Gabe know that he was wrong about me. There would be no time to talk once we were caught up with the band stuff at the festival. The church bell sounded eleven times. I had to find him soon!

  As I was making my way down past the stream of traffic, the window of a battered old car wound down and a voice shouted, ‘Jenna!’

  Oh no! I thought. Could this evening get any worse?

  In the car were Mia, Jackson and Rebecca.

  Mia shrieked, ‘We made it! It’s taken us hours to drive down.’

  Rebecca said, ‘The car broke down and we had to wait ages for the AA.’

  Jackson reached out his hand and touched my arm. ‘Good to see you, Jenna. Thanks for the e-mail.’

  Rebecca looked a bit peeved, but said, ‘We heard you got a job working on a food stall. That sounds like fun.’ Although she said it in a way that really meant, ‘I’d rather have all of my teeth pulled out by a pair of pliers.’

  I couldn’t be bothered telling them that I was also performing at the festival. Let them find out that for themselves, the snobs!

  ‘Have you found another school yet?’ Rebecca wasn’t letting go of that knife she was digging into me just yet.

  Jackson looked suitably embarrassed and Mia looked away.

  Rebecca’s brother, Justin, piped up from the driver’s seat, ‘So this is the girl. The one who went shopping with a teacher’s credit card? Cool.’

  ‘We’re looking forward to meeting Charlie,’ Mia said and winked.

  ‘Charlie’s just a friend,’ I snapped back. Mia had this way of getting under my skin and making me feel vulnerable. I used to accept it, but now they all seemed so insignificant. I wasn’t going to let her take control of me any more.

  Jackson smiled. He was the only one who really looked genuinely pleased to see me.

  ‘We’ll see you in there,’ Mia said, waving to me as the line of traffic began to move again.

  ‘Not if I see you first,’ I said. Everyone laughed, but I meant it. Meeting up with them again made me feel awkward and a little sad. It was like their friendship was a pair of party shoes that I’d grown out of.

  Mum had been too busy trying to prise information out of Sarah to notice how late it was when I got home. She even lent me her mobile so I could ring Netherby Hall. I’d made up some excuse about needing to finalise an urgent arrangement. It was constantly engaged.

  My head was spinning. Gabe thought I didn’t want to be with him. He must think I’m really shallow and trivial to give up on him so easily. And Cleo would be only too pleased to back up that idea.

  Mum was too preoccupied with Sarah to see how messed up I was. Besides, she’d surely put any restlessness on my part down to the fact that I was performing tomorrow.

  As I crept up to bed the church bell rang for midnight. I felt my insides tighten. Everything felt hopeless.

  Marcus was curled up on a mattress on the floor in my room. He couldn’t sleep either.

  ‘We missed you in Florida,’ he said. ‘Mum cried, you know, because she felt so bad that you weren’t there.’

  ‘I missed you too,’ I said. ‘But those postcards you sent me made me feel as if I was there.’

  ‘Is that a love letter you’ve got in your hand?’ he asked me, teasingly.

  I’d forgotten that I was still holding on to Gabe’s note. ‘I suppose it is,’ I whispered.

  I closed my eyes and tried to sleep. I would sort things out as soon as I coul
d tomorrow.

  We all had to get up early the next morning, because Sarah had begun cooking her Soul Food wraps. She seemed in much better spirits. I think she and Mum had been up half the night talking. Marcus was painting a sign for the poetry tombola.

  ‘Take lots of warm clothes. It gets cold at night in a tent,’ Mum fussed.

  ‘Not if you’re sharing with three sweaty boys and a girl,’ I said.

  Mum raised an eyebrow and said, ‘I don’t know if I’m totally comfortable with that …’

  But Sarah said, ‘We shared a tent with six boys once, remember? That was all perfectly innocent.’

  Mum sighed. ‘I suppose there is safety in numbers …’

  ‘These boys are really nice,’ said Sarah. ‘One of them is Lord Netherby’s son.’

  ‘Cleo will be there as well,’ I snorted. ‘She can keep an eye on me.’

  Mum raised another eyebrow. I comforted myself slightly with the knowledge that at least I’d be seeing Gabe today.

  ‘I think it’s Charlie who has got the key to Jenna’s heart,’ Sarah said, smiling.

  The rest of us pretended to stick fingers down our throats.

  ‘We all just get along as mates,’ I insisted.

  ‘But it’s obvious both Charlie and Freddie are besotted with you,’ Sarah continued, biting on a piece of toast.

  ‘Obvious to whom?’ I said.

  ‘Anyone who’s got a pair of eyes. The only one who isn’t interested in you is Gabriel.’

  ‘You are so wise,’ I said. ‘How do you do it?’

  ‘My poetic intuition,’ Sarah said with a grin.

  Chapter Thirty-Three

  The plastic bracelets that Charlie had given us worked like a charm. I was given instant access to the site. I was desperate to see Gabe. As he didn’t have a mobile I tried the Netherby Hall phone again this morning, but his line was still engaged. It seemed that the whole world wanted to speak to Lord Netherby about the festival.

  All paths leading to Netherby Hall were now sealed off with metal fences, and patrolled by mean-looking security guards in black bomber jackets.

  It was shaping up to be another hot day. The sky was bright blue and there were no clouds. All the fields were filling up with tents. The sound of builders yelling and swearing filled the air as the main stage was erected.

  I should have been feeling excited to be a part of it all, but instead I felt tiny and small and hurt. It felt like everything was working against Gabe and me. He had probably convinced himself by now that I was finished with him. He had been so sure that I would leave him.

  ‘Of all the fields in the world and you had to walk into mine! Hello there, old chum!’

  ‘Julius!’ I was so pleased to see a familiar face.

  ‘I spotted you standing amidst this flotsam and jetsam.’ He nodded at the groups of campers that were already coming into this field. ‘I’ve got the photos. Pulled a few strings with the wedding photographer in Greater Netherby and he let me use his dark room last night.’

  He handed me a brown envelope. Inside it was a wodge of black-and-white photographs.

  ‘Haven’t lost my touch, have I?’

  ‘They are brilliant,’ I gasped. There was one picture in particular that caught my eye. I was standing at one end of the counter, Charlie and Ava were dancing in the centre, Freddie was posing and Cleo was draped around Gabe. Funny thing was he was looking up at me and I was looking back at him.

  Julius cleared his throat. ‘They say a picture says more than a thousand words.’

  I slipped the photo back in the envelope.

  ‘I am an old fool who has wasted many a year walking the primrose path of dalliance, but I do believe in love,’ Julius said.

  I half-expected him to come out with one of his silly jokes or bad puns, but for once he didn’t. He just said, ‘I’m off to deliver these to the publicity office – otherwise known as the kitchen at Netherby Hall.’

  ‘Could you do me a big favour?’ I asked.

  Julius nodded.

  ‘Tell Gabe that I need to see him, right away.’

  ‘Your word is my command.’ Julius bowed and I hugged him.

  I sat down underneath a large tree on the edge of the field to wait.

  The sun moved higher in the sky. I could feel its heat on my face. I closed my eyes and rewrote life for a while.

  In my first daydream, Ms Rose had taken her credit card with her that day. We had all got caught messing about in her office and were sent to the head’s office where Mia was so rude to the headteacher that she got expelled and was dragged kicking and screaming from the school.

  My second daydream involved a discovery of a pill that killed the HIV virus. This was followed by a fantastic dream about the huge success of Goats in a Spin. I pictured thousands of Julius’s photos on posters plastered all over London. There would be rave reviews in all the indie music magazines.

  ‘Jenna?’

  I half-opened my eyes as Jackson sat down beside me.

  ‘How you doing?’ he asked.

  ‘How did you manage to find me?’ There must have been thousands of people around the place.

  He smiled at me. ‘You stand out in a crowd, Jenna.’

  Jackson had lost none of his charm over the summer break.

  I laughed, then sat up and looked around me in an exaggerated way.

  ‘Where’s your fan club? Or are they your minders?’ I asked.

  He chuckled softly. ‘That’s what I like about you, Jenna. You’ve got a great sense of humour as well as being gorgeous.’ He looked at me out of the corner of his eye.

  I fanned the air. ‘Phew, it’s so hot already and it’s not even midday.’

  ‘Look, Jenna. I’m really sorry about what happened. I think it’s great that you haven’t grassed us up. You know I’d do the same for you if the circumstances were the other way around.’

  I shook my head as my lips formed a tight smile. ‘Here’s your big opportunity, Jackson. When you stop and think about it, “the circumstances” are the other way around. I’m taking all the blame. My reputation is in tatters and you could rescue me with a few simple words.’

  He looked at me with his deep, big brown eyes of his that for a second I wished I still loved him. I remembered how I’d felt after he had first kissed me. I recalled all the fun we’d had messing around, playing silly games and having a laugh. Jackson was fun to be with. If I were back with Jackson things could go back to the way they were. My life would be so much easier if I still loved him and not Gabe.

  Then I reminded myself about all the other times that had not been so good and I said, ‘Thing is, Jackson. If the roles had been reversed, I wouldn’t have expected you to take all the blame. That wouldn’t be right. I would have been scared witless, but I would have owned up. My conscience would’ve made me.’

  Jackson moved closer. I took a deep breath. He was as handsome as ever.

  ‘Things aren’t always that clear cut, Jenna. I’d had a few problems at my other school. Got myself a bit of a reputation. The slightest whiff of trouble and my mum’ll pack me off to school in Nigeria.’

  ‘If we had all stood together and explained, then maybe not. I’m sure your mum values honesty. Besides, didn’t you and Mia promise to come clean when the time was right?’

  Jackson nodded.

  ‘Trouble is the time will never be right, will it?’

  Jackson shook his head and sucked his teeth. ‘Jenna, will you stop giving me a hard time? Things haven’t turned out too badly, have they?’

  I thought about my life in Netherby – Gabe, the band and the job in the bookshop … and I smiled.

  ‘Better than I could have imagined, actually.’

  ‘Well then, let’s kiss and make up. No hard feelings?’ He put his arms around me and nuzzled in my hair.

  At first I pulled back, but Jackson only laughed and pulled me closer.

  What could be the harm in sharing one uncomplicated farewell kiss?


  Chapter Thirty-Four

  I’m not sure exactly how long Gabe had been standing there, but judging from the expression on his face it was long enough to jump to the wrong conclusion.

  ‘Julius said you wanted to see me,’ he said. ‘But I really should be going. Charlie needs a hand with the tent. Is this your friend from London?’

  I didn’t like the way he put the emphasis on friend. Like it meant more than that.

  ‘This is Jackson. He’s come with Mia and some mates,’ I said.

  I turned to Jackson. ‘This is Gabe. We’re in a band together. We’re performing in the Fringe Tent tomorrow.’

  Jackson looked surprised. ‘My girl is in a band. Jenna, you are full of surprises.’ He hugged me again.

  ‘I’m not your girl,’ I snarled, and pulled away from him, but it was too late. Gabe was already walking the other way back across the field.

  Jackson laughed and reached for me again, but this time I stood well back. I had to keep my distance from him, because letting him get close was dangerous. The look on Gabe’s face had proved that. Now I had even more explaining to do. What had I been thinking of letting him anywhere near me?

  In the distance I could see Aurora racing towards us, waving her arms in the air. She caught up with Gabe first and then he turned round and pointed in my direction. Gabe stayed put and Aurora kept running towards me.

  Between gasps she said, ‘Jenna, come quick! Sarah needs help! Come on.’

  Although I didn’t ask him to, Jackson came along as well.

  Aurora pulled on Gabe’s arm as she ran past him.

  My first thought was that Kai had shown up and things had got ugly. But when I got there, everyone was standing around a large tree, looking up. Marcus was holding his jumper open under the tree.

  ‘It’s Tallulah. She followed us here, got frightened by the crowds and ran up the tree in a panic’

  Sure enough, at the top of a large oak tree – and perched on a branch too thin for her fat body – sat Tallulah.

  ‘We’ve got to get her down before something awful happens to her!’ Sarah wailed.

  ‘What goes up by itself must come down,’ Jackson said with a laugh.