by L. T. Marie
“How do you know it’s a person?” Jay felt like she was walking on thin ice beginning to crack below her feet. She had to tread cautiously.
“Lucky guess. And if I’m right.” Jane’s gaze dropped to the sweatshirt on Coal’s bed. “I’m sure things can be worked out.”
“I wish I was as optimistic as you, but sometimes I don’t think everything can be worked out.”
Jane shrugged. “You never know. Time heals all they say.”
The entire conversation was beginning to feel surreal. Was Jane saying she knew about her past with Coal and was okay with it? She wouldn’t take the bait, but she did feel a bit better. “Thank you, ma’am. I see your point.”
“Good,” Jane said. “So, is the house still on schedule to be completed tomorrow?”
“Yes, ma’am. Everything except for the roof. The roofers said they can’t make it until Monday. Scheduling issues.”
“Sounds like you have everything under control just like I knew you and Dino would.” She placed her hand on Jay’s forearm and gave it a gentle squeeze. “Take care of yourself and…if you need to talk…I’ll be around.”
As soon as Jane Davis disappeared down the winding staircase, Jay took her first full breath. She thought about what Jane had said, but there was no sense in having a conversation with Coal, especially after being told their relationship was a mistake. She was tired of not being enough for someone again. Her mother had abandoned her all those years ago, her father emotionally abandoned her not long after, and when she finally felt like she’d mattered enough to someone else, they walked out on her too. Physically and emotionally drained, she grabbed her hammer and set back to work. One more day and she could put Coal Davis’s memory behind her.
Chapter Nineteen
Jay spent her lunch hour alone since her mood hadn’t improved. She’d ignored Dino for most of the day, only speaking to him if he had something important to say that pertained to the job. She was edgy and tired and couldn’t wait for the day to end.
“Hey, Cuz,” Dino said. He moved closer and offered her a can of her favorite soda like some sort of peace offering and his notepad. “I have one more small thing to add to your list.”
“Thanks,” she said and glanced at his incoherent scribble. Lucky for her she grew up with him and could decipher its meaning. “I’ll get to this once I finish the tile work.”
“Okay. And don’t forget about my dad’s party this weekend. You’re coming, right?”
Jay glanced over at Dino like he was a foreigner speaking a different language. “Uh…no.”
Jay’s uncle Mario was Dino’s father. Uncle Mario loved to throw parties, and they were usually large family productions. Her father was Uncle Mario’s brother, and since Jay had heard they had released him from jail only yesterday, she didn’t want to chance running into him.
“Why are you always doggin’ us? The family wants to get together for the weekend, and Pop wants all of us to be there. Why don’t you want to go? It’s not like you have anything better to do.”
They’d spent the previous morning discussing this same topic. How many more times could she say no to him? She couldn’t think about anything else, not with Coal occupying her every thought.
With the remodel nearly complete, she’d been on a mission to finish the work by tomorrow’s deadline. She would have liked to get more done quicker, but fatigue and depression had prevented her usual speed on the job. She wished he’d stop badgering her about a family get-together that she had no desire to partake in. She needed sleep, not socializing, and the sooner he understood that and left her alone the quicker she could finish her work.
“Why can’t you get I’m not in the mood for a family thing? Especially since Pop—” Jay stopped mid sentence, shaking her head dismissively. Damn it! She tried so hard not to talk about him.
“Damn, you’re still living in the past. Why can’t you give your old man a break? So what he made a mistake? Happens to everyone except for you, right?”
“You have no idea what you’re talking about. Let it go, Dino,” she growled in warning.
“Fuck that! You’ve been dragging your ass around here like a wounded animal for the past few days. Coal’s gone. She doesn’t love you. It’s time to get over it before—”
Dino didn’t have time to finish his sentence before Jay grabbed him and shoved his back hard into the kitchen wall causing a few of the newly inlaid tiles to go crashing to the floor. “Leave her out of this, Dino. Don’t mention her name to me again. Do you understand?”
“Let go,” he rasped before she came to her senses and released the hold she’d had on his throat.
She stumbled backward, staring at her hands as if they belonged to someone else. “Fuck! What the hell am I doing? Dino, I’m sorry—”
“No,” he rasped, massaging his throat. “I’m sorry. I was out of line, Cuz.”
“That’s no excuse. You’re family and the only person I could ever count on. You’ve given me a job, helped me find a place to live after Dad’s trial. I owe you everything.” Jesus, you’ve sunk to a new low.
“You don’t owe me anything. We’re family.” He placed a hand on her shoulder. “That’s what family does, Cuz.”
“Maybe your family, but not mine. If it wasn’t for your side…Uncle Mario…you…I’d have nothing.” Jay leaned against the wall and slid to the floor. She laid her head in her hands feeling the weight of the world on her shoulders.
Dino sat next to her and placed a hand on her knee to get her to look at him. “Your old man said he was sorry. What more does he have to do to make you forgive him?”
“You don’t understand, Dino. He stole from those people and we lost our home! They trusted him, and he sold their stuff for drugs.” She still hated thinking about the money and the trial, but its lingering effects still ruled her life.
“He had a habit. Things happen that we can’t explain.”
“I understand, but his habit cost us not just our home, but my college fund, and I’m still paying off the lawyers. He got off easy. He went to jail for three years, and now he’s out doing God knows what while I’m stuck with thirty-five thousand in debt. I put up Tia’s house as collateral after I swore on her grave that I would keep that house in the family. If I lose it, my word is shit!”
Dino looked shocked. “Cuz, I didn’t know. Why didn’t you say something?”
“Because it’s my business, Dino. Not yours—not Uncle Mario’s—no one’s! Besides, what could you have done?”
“Done? I could have helped you. I have the money. Why didn’t you ask?”
“Because I knew you would give it to me.”
“And I still will.”
“No, you won’t. I appreciate it, but I can’t let you do that. It’s my responsibility and mine alone.”
He studied her pensively, and Jay wondered what he was thinking. Instead she moved to her feet and offered him a hand up.
“You sure you don’t want help?” he asked one more time.
“I know you mean well, but my pride won’t let me allow you or anyone to bail me out. Let’s get this job done, and hopefully the bonus will help. In a few years, I plan on having everything paid off and then I’m going back to school. Maybe one of these days, I’ll be a successful contractor like you.” She bumped his shoulder playfully with her own.
“You’re so stubborn.” He shook his head but shot her the DiAngelo trademark grin.
“Damn right I am. Now, come on, boss, we have work to do.”
*
Dusk was settling over the ranch as Coal curled up with a blanket on the porch and stared out over the wide open space. She’d spent the afternoon riding one of the horses around the ranch with Doug and found the property to be in perfect condition, not like she expected anything less. As the crickets confirmed night was upon them, she inhaled the rich smell of soil and manure, a scent that would be considered foul to most people but had always helped center her. The familiar aroma fueled some of
the memories of the times she’d spent here with her grandfather. She’d thought about him a lot the last few days, especially after spending time with Doug. He seemed to have everything under control, just like she knew he would. She’d even had the opportunity again to work with a few of the children and still loved their unique responses to the large animals. Giddy wasn’t a term she would use often to describe how she was feeling, especially after the last few days. But seeing those kids laugh and forget about their illnesses, even for a short time, reminded her of why the ranch was important to so many people.
Doug took the rocker next to her and placed his familiar pipe in his mouth. They were quiet for a moment, as if neither one of them wanted to upset the silence. When he turned to her, Coal broke out in a smile.
“You still have that old thing?” she asked, as he tapped the white and black pipe against his sturdy thigh.
“Yes, ma’am. Your granddaddy gave this to me thirty years ago. Best pipe I ever owned.”
“Have you owned a lot of them?”
“Nope. Never had a reason to.”
“Does there have to be a reason?”
Doug pulled the pipe out from between his lips, letting the smoke out slowly. “Coal, I knew your granddaddy for a long time. That man meant a lot to me, kinda like this pipe. But he and I had our differences and didn’t always share the same views. I think that’s what made us such good friends. But to answer your question, I believe a person usually doesn’t need to change a thing until they have a damn good reason to.”
Why do I think that somehow we are no longer talking about pipes? She had no idea if Doug and her grandfather had ever discussed the details of her life, but she was also aware that he had to know she had a reason for being there, and something was telling her he knew exactly what that reason was. “But that’s just it. What if we don’t know what’s right? What if doing the right thing costs you everything?”
Doug rocked back and forth in his chair, appearing deep in thought. “Did I ever tell you how I met my Rita?”
“Not really.” She knew Doug worshipped the ground Rita walked on, but she also knew his wife had died at the very young age of fifty. “I remember you telling me she was beautiful.”
“She wasn’t just beautiful. My Rita was picture-perfect. Every boy in this town wanted to marry that woman. God only knows why she chose me,” he said with a twinkle in his eye. “Anyway, her father owned one of the largest nurseries not too far from here, and I went to work for him one summer and fell head over heels for Rita. One day, her father cornered me and told me he’d shoot me full of holes if I ever came near his daughter again.”
“And then what happened?”
“What do you think? We ran away and got married.” He laughed then his face turned serious. “When we got back, her daddy was furious. You see, not only did I work for him but so did my daddy and my two brothers.”
“Wow, that must have been rough.” Coal knew from her conversations with her grandfather that forty years ago, Half Moon Bay was nothing more than farmland. If you didn’t work for one of the farms, there wouldn’t be much in the way to earn income. And if you pissed off one owner, you might as well have pissed them all off.
“It was for a while, but that’s when I met your granddaddy. He had just bought the land and didn’t know shit about horses, pardon my French. Anyway, I was drinking at the local pub, feeling a little down on my luck, when he sat next to me and we began talking. He asked me if I knew anything about horses, and whatever I said must have impressed the hell out of him.”
“You don’t remember?”
“Hell no, girl! I was four shots of Cuervo in by that point.” They both laughed. “When he told me his plan about horses working with children, I told him I’d work for next to nothing if he gave me a chance. He gave me a job that day. Within a year, my whole family ended up working for your granddaddy. I’ve been working here ever since.”
“And what happened with Rita’s father?”
Doug’s grin grew wider. “That ole coot wouldn’t have anything to do with either of us for five years until we gave him a grandson.”
“I remember Eric.” She and Eric used to clean out the horse stalls at night for extra spending money, but she’d have done it for free. “How’s he doing?”
“He’s running a nursery that he inherited from his granddaddy.”
“You’re kidding?”
“Nope. Swear on Rita’s grave.”
She looked into his kind eyes. “Was it worth it, Doug? I mean, you didn’t really know how things were going to turn out.”
The smile that touched his face could have lit up the night’s sky. “A woman makes you do crazy things, Coal. It was worth it, and it was because I took that chance on love that my life ended up the way it did. Things happen for a reason. Don’t let people dictate your life or you’ll be running away from your problems for the rest of your life.”
Coal closed her eyes and pictured Jay. She had to ask the next question, even though she feared the answer. “If you had to do it all over again, would you?”
Doug stood, placing a hand on her shoulder. “Girlie, I’d give my life just to have Rita in my arms one more time. I may be an old fool, but the look you have in your eyes right now, I had all those years ago when Rita’s father forbid me to see her. So yes, I’d give up everything to have another chance with her. Remember, real love comes around for most people only once. If you’re lucky.”
Coal waited as the silence once again settled all around her so that she could have a moment to think. She thought about her future, her dreams, and Jay. As a plan began to form, she finally understood what she needed to do. The time had come to face her fears. Hopefully, it wasn’t too late.
Chapter Twenty
Friday morning couldn’t have come fast enough for Jay. Every hour working on Coal’s home had been emotionally painful and physically draining. She’d finally completed the job that she had come to do, but this time she found no pleasure in her finished work.
“Well, ma’am, that’s it,” Jay said. She shook Jane Davis’s outstretched hand. “My cousin said to tell you that he’ll be over on Monday to do the walk-through. He also said he will be able to complete the few odd jobs that you have at your home and check on the roofers for you.” God, you remind me of your daughter. I miss her so much.
“Thank you, Jay, for everything. I’m sure Coal will love it when she returns.” Jane glanced up at the completed house, her smile one of pleasure and admiration.
“I hope she does.”
“She will. But maybe…”
“Ma’am, is there something else?”
“Well, I was hoping maybe, you could do the walk-through with her on Monday instead of Dino. I’m sure she’d love to see you.”
There hadn’t been a minute that had ticked by that Jay hadn’t thought about Coal. When the memories of how it had felt to hold Coal came roaring back, she trembled and buried her hands in her pockets so Jane couldn’t see how much her words had affected her. “I don’t think that will be possible, but please tell her I hope everything turned out as she expected.”
“Somehow, Jay.” Jane Davis gave her a regretful smile. “I don’t think that’s possible either.”
Jay sat by the corral gate, taking one final glance at the perfectly manicured grounds and Dax running inside his pasture. She pulled her truck over to the side of the road, spying on the large animal as he ran back and forth in the warm summer heat. She figured he missed Coal, but also knew he had only a few more days before she would return to him. Lucky horse.
Since Coal’s departure, Jay had made it a ritual to visit him daily to bring Dax carrots. Somehow it made her feel closer to Coal knowing that he was a large part of her life. She’d often observed Coal feeding him the treat when she knew no one was watching. She’d been worried that in Coal’s absence, no one would know to keep up with the ritual. After the first two days, Dax started waiting for her by the fence when she arrived in the
morning, and Jay understood how this brilliant, beautiful animal had touched Coal so deeply. He represented the final link to Coal and she would miss his company.
“Is everything done?” Dino asked.
Jay had driven to Dino’s to deliver the check. She looked around for a safe place to sit, but from the looks of Dino’s condo, she was afraid she’d end up with last week’s spaghetti dinner on her butt. “Yep, and Jane Davis said we will get our bonus on Monday. But Jesus, Cuz. Don’t you ever clean this place?”
“Why? I got no one to share it with.”
“Well, if you ever have any aspirations to change that, maybe you should hire a maid so that the poor woman won’t run when she gets a load of this hellhole.”
“Look who’s talking.” He picked up a half-eaten bowl of Cheerios that sat on his counter and threw it onto a pile of dirty dishes overflowing in the sink. “It’s not like you’re Suzy Homemaker. I’ve seen your pad, and if it weren’t for Shiloh cleaning the place when she was home, I bet the items in your refrigerator could be donated to science.”
She couldn’t argue with him there. In fact, she had a loaf of bread currently sitting on her kitchen counter that fit that description perfectly. “I’ve got to get out of here, but before I do, Jane Davis wanted me to remind you about a little work that needs to be done on her home.”
“I didn’t forget. Sure you don’t want the work? You can have all the cash if you take it?”
She’d already had this conversation with him after he’d offered the first time. She rightly refused because she couldn’t take the risk of running into Coal. “No, but thanks. Do we have anything else lined up?”
“Not until after Labor Day weekend,” Dino said apologetically.
“Okay then. Catch you later.”
“Jay, wait! If you need some money just ask, okay?”
She nodded her thanks, thinking for the first time that she could survive without money. What was killing her was living without Coal.