by L. T. Marie
“Man, you’re smart. I can see why Coal loves you so much.” Jay tangled her fingers through Dax’s mane, tugging him closer to tell him a secret. “I miss her so much, boy. I wish she could love me like I love her, but she doesn’t. Don’t worry though. I know she loves you and that you mean more to her than anything.”
Dax laid his large head on top of her shoulder, as if offering the only comfort he was capable of to her.
“Thanks for the hug, boy,” she said and placed a kiss on his nose. “See you around.”
*
Coal was leaning against the barn door, waiting until Jay’s truck headed down the road. She had not been expecting Jay to be there that morning, and her thumping heart told her that her body wasn’t expecting it either. After hearing Jay’s voice and watching discreetly through the window as Jay hugged Dax and fed him carrots, she had no idea how she was going to handle the rest of her day knowing that Jay was almost close enough to touch.
It went without saying that Jay had taken the time to check on Dax while she’d been gone and that the two of them had formed their own special bond. She couldn’t hear what Jay was saying to him, but she’d never known anyone to get Dax to stand so still while they spoke to him, besides her. Dax had always been there to listen to her and she wanted to believe he understood her pain. Could Jay possibly be in pain? Miss her as much as she did Jay?
“Coal? Honey?” Her mother yelled out to her from the other side of the door. “Jay’s here for the walk-through.”
“Coming, Mom.” Coal ran a hand through her hair in an effort to pull herself together. As she emerged from the barn she spotted Jay wearing her trademark jeans and work boots, her muscles rippling against the soft white of her T-shirt. Jay’s tousled short hair was as wild as ever but her eyes lacked their usual glow. She hated not seeing that spark of recognition that she’d come to crave. Instead, the indifference in them angered her. So that’s how it’s going to be? “Let’s get this done.”
Jay remained silent as Coal climbed into the front of the golf cart as Jay slid in behind her mother. They rode in silence, Coal keeping her gaze forward, trying not to squirm even though she could sense Jay’s eyes on her. As they reached the house, a tall, burly man approached from one of three roofing trucks parked next to the garage.
“Hey, Jay. Ladies,” the man said in greeting. “Man, am I glad to see you.”
“Everything okay?” Jay asked.
“Not really. I got to show you something. Ladies, would you please excuse us?”
“I’ll be right back,” Jay said.
“Jay, wait!” Coal jogged a few feet to catch up with her. She hated this distance between them. Distance that she caused. With her nerve returning, she wanted to tell Jay everything. To explain her behavior. But with all these people around, now was not the time.
“Everything okay?” Jay asked.
“No. It’s not.” God she wanted to touch her. “When you’re done, can we talk? Alone.”
When Jay’s smile returned, Coal’s heart felt a hundred pounds lighter. “Absolutely. Wait here and I’ll be right back.”
Coal watched as Jay followed the man up the ladder to the top of the roof. The glare of the morning sun made it difficult to see what the man was pointing to but her eyes were glued to Jay’s ass anyway.
“What’s going on, Jer?” Jay asked.
“Termites, that’s what’s going on.” He pointed to a rotting section of roof. “When we ripped off the old paper, we found large sections of rotted plywood.”
“So it’s going to be more than just tile.”
“Afraid so. There’s a larger section over there if you want to go see, but be careful of those stray branches. The tree guys still haven’t cut them back, and we told them we’re not going to touch this roof until they do.”
“Let me check it out then I’ll give them another call. They’re supposed to be here today too.”
Coal watched Jay move around on the roof, remembering the hours she’d spent doing the exact same thing when Jay hadn’t noticed. Today was different though. Back then, there wasn’t this wall separating them. The silence between them had hurt more than any harsh words that had ever been thrown in her direction. She couldn’t wait to get her alone. To tell her she was sorry for the way she’d acted last night. She didn’t know if she could repair the damage she’d caused between them, but if that meant building back her trust with Jay one brick at a time, she’d spend the rest of her life doing so.
She turned to answer one of her mother’s questions when a loud crash caused her to jump. Men began shouting. A large cloud of dust mushroomed into the air. The cloud was as thick as smoke, billowing higher and higher as men began to scramble from all directions. Fear clutched at Coal, a feeling of dread so strong she gasped sharply as if someone had a hold over her throat. Chaos reigned. And Jay was nowhere to be seen.
“Jesus fucking Christ!” the man yelled who had been standing with Jay moments ago. He scurried down the ladder, jumping from the last few rungs to the ground.
Coal raced toward him and grabbed him by the arm. “Where’s Jay?”
He coughed into his arm, expelling some of the dust from his legs. He rasped. “She was inspecting the roof where we discovered some termite damage. She tripped over one of the tree branches that was impeding the roof and it gave way under her weight. She fell through—”
“Jay!”
Coal ran into the house, finding a group of men huddled in her living room. She pushed her way through the solemn crowd, finding Jay sprawled out onto the hardwood floor with her arm bent in an unnatural fashion. Her T-shirt was ripped, and blood trickled from a small cut above her right eye. She wasn’t conscious, and the sight of her motionless body sent ripples of despair through Coal, sending her to her knees. “No! Baby, please. Talk to me.”
“Honey, we called an ambulance,” her mom whispered softly into Coal’s ear. “They’ll be here any moment.”
Coal placed her palm on Jay’s cheek feeling as though she were dying inside. Jay was hurt, could possibly die. Forgetting there were people gathered around her and her mother kneeling beside her, she did the only thing she could think of, which was to lean forward to kiss Jay softly on the lips. “Baby, I’m here. Please don’t leave me.”
Slowly, the men started to file out, their hats held firmly in their hands. The sounds of an ambulance pierced the silence and her mother stood over her, squeezing Coal’s shoulder.
“How could I have let her go?”
“Just keep hold of her hand, honey. She needs you now.”
“No, Mom, that’s where you’re wrong,” Coal said bitterly. “I need her. I have since the day she walked into my life.” I just wished I had told you instead of pushing you away. “Oh, Jay, what have I done? I love you. I will always love you. I’m so sorry I didn’t tell you sooner. Please stay with me.”
Just then, two very capable looking paramedics pushed their way through the door and made their way to Jay. A hefty blonde motioned for Coal and her mom to move out of the way as she reached into her kit to start an IV.
“Ma’am,” the older paramedic said. He fastened a collar around Jay’s neck to stabilize her. “Do you know what hospital she’d prefer?”
The question was simple enough, but Coal was so emotionally distraught she had a hard time organizing her thoughts. After the incident with Jay’s hand, she wasn’t sure about the current insurance situation, and there was no way in hell she’d ever send her to County. Without giving it another thought, she turned to the paramedic and said, “Stanford Medical Center.”
Chapter Twenty-three
Coal looked up from her plastic hospital chair just in time to see Dino storm through the waiting room doors looking frazzled and distraught. Her mother had never left her side, gripping her hand for added support when, a little more than two hours before, Jay had been wheeled into surgery. Coal was thankful that Dino had finally arrived because the hospital wouldn’t allow non-family members to m
ake medical decisions.
“Have you heard anything yet?” Dino asked.
Her mother stood, and placed her hand on his shoulders. “No. We haven’t, but the doctors assured us that they would come and find us as soon as they know something. Are you okay? Jay told me earlier you weren’t feeling well.”
Dino colored. “I’m fine, ma’am. Just a little headache.”
“Sit.” Her mother’s tone left no room for argument.
“Do you know what happened?”
“She fell,” Coal finally said around the lump in her throat. “She was on my roof and fell through it. It’s all my fault.”
“Ms. Davis,” he said, his voice a lot calmer than when he’d first entered the waiting room. “It was an accident. Please don’t blame yourself.”
Not blame myself? She could die and will never know how much I love her. What if I don’t get the chance to tell her? Coal gripped her thighs, her hands shaking.
“Hey, she’ll be okay.” He took one of her hands in his. “My cousin’s tough.”
“That’s what I told her,” her mother said gently. “I’m going to get us all some coffee. Would you mind waiting with Coal until I return?”
“Sure.” Her mom disappeared into the elevators as Dino sagged in the chair. “Sorry it took me so long to get here. I thought they took her to Sequoia. Does anyone know why they brought her here instead?”
“I told them to come here,” Coal said. “After she injured her hand, she confided in me that she didn’t want to use your insurance if she got hurt. She was worried your premiums would go up. This is where I go, so I made the choice.”
Dino bowed his head and shook it in anger. “Damn her. I told her never to worry about that stuff. She’s always so concerned about being a burden to someone. When it comes to her, she knows I don’t care about the damn money! If she…” Dino’s entire body shook, and Coal wrapped an arm around his shoulders.
“It’s okay. She’ll be okay. I know because you told me she’s tough, remember?”
He used his shirtsleeve to wipe his eyes and smiled through his tears. “That’s right.”
“She’s a lot like you, you know?”
“How so?”
“When she’s nervous, she has to do something with her hands.” She pointed to the ball cap he was torturing between his fingers. “She usually shoves them into her pockets or picks something up to work with.”
“It’s a DiAngelo trait.” He stared at the crushed hat. “One of many.”
“I’m familiar with a few.” She thought about Jay’s grin. How the quirking of those lips could make her forget everything except wanting to kiss Jay senseless. Then she remembered a trickle of blood that fell across them. Jay lying so still. Her face pale… “God, Dino! I can’t take this waiting. There’s so much I need to say to her.”
“Then promise me one thing?”
Coal glanced at him quizzically. “Anything.”
“Promise me, when she wakes, you tell her that. My cousin will probably kick my ass for saying this, but she wants others to think that she doesn’t need anyone. Her parents have never been there for her, so she’s always tried to prove to everyone, including herself, that she can do everything on her own. Until she met you. Now that’s changed, even though she’s too damn stubborn to admit it.”
Coal gasped, burying her face in Dino’s broad shoulders. She needed Jay too, with everything in her, and she would tell her that and more if she got the chance. “I’m so sorry. The things I said to her.”
“Excuse me.”
Coal looked up at the person in scrubs who stood in the doorway. “Yes?”
“Are you Jay DiAngelo’s family?”
“I’m her cousin,” Dino said. He and Coal both stood as he extended his hand to the doctor with the confident demeanor that reminded Coal a lot of Jay. “And this is Coal Davis, her—”
“Lover,” Coal interjected quickly. If Dino was surprised by the admission, he didn’t show it. She also shook the doctor’s hand, the warmth in the woman’s skin matching the gentleness and understanding in her appraising eyes.
“Nice to meet you both. I’m Dr. Ammini. Jay’s surgeon.”
“Could you tell us how she is, doctor?” Coal asked.
“She fractured her arm and broke her collarbone. The collarbone will heal with time but we had to use a metal plate and a few screws to help keep the bones in place in her forearm. She also had a nasty gash above her right eye that has been sutured.”
“Is that all?” Coal asked. When the doctor’s expression turned serious, a sense of dread fell over Coal, and she wrapped her arms around herself bracing for the news.
“When she fell, she hit her head pretty hard. We’ll be monitoring her for the next few days but I’m sorry to tell you she’s in a coma.”
The room spun, and Coal reached blindly for the chair behind her. Coma? Was this how it was going to end between them? Her legs gave way as strong hands wrapped around her waist.
“Whoa, there,” the doctor said. “Easy now. Into the chair.”
“Should I get her some water?” Dino asked quickly.
“That would be great,” the doctor said, her eyes glued to Coal.
“I’m sorry.” Coal’s voice sounded distant even to her own ears. “Will she come out of it?”
“Head injuries are unpredictable. We’re going to keep a close eye on her. The first twenty-four hours are the most critical. Then we’ll see.”
“When can I see her?” Coal asked.
“We’re getting her situated now. I’ll have a nurse come and get you in a few minutes.”
“Thank you, doctor.” The surgeon nodded and walked away as Dino appeared with a bottle of spring water and sat next to her. He looked as lost as she felt. She reached for his hand, needing the feel of another to steady her. “What am I going to do, Dino? Coma. She’s in a coma.”
“I told you she’s tough,” he said. “My cousin will fight. She’s fought her whole life, and this won’t stop her.”
“How could you say that?”
“Because this time, she has you to fight for.”
She wanted to say, “You don’t know what I’ve said to her. How I pushed her away.” But she couldn’t. Tears gathered once more. He handed her a few tissues. “How did you know?” she finally asked.
Dino chuckled softly. “Believe me, Coal, everyone knows. Neither one of you are good at hiding it.”
Just then, a nurse in pink scrubs entered the waiting room. “If you’d like to go see Ms. DiAngelo now, you can go on back.”
Coal halted in the doorway at the sight of Jay hooked up to different machines, beeping and buzzing above her bed. Her right arm was casted, and she had a six-inch piece of gauze taped above her left eye. Jay was breathing steadily without any type of breathing apparatus, and except for an IV tube sticking out of her left arm, Coal would have guessed she was sleeping.
Her mom had returned shortly after and sat quietly by Coal’s side while Coal held on to Jay’s hand. They had not spoken in hours, yet her mother’s presence comforted Coal and made her feel accepted in a way that she hadn’t felt by any of her family members in a long time.
When visiting hours ended, her mom tried to persuade Coal to go home, shower, and take a nap, but Coal refused. If Jay woke up, she didn’t want her to be alone. She’d been away from Jay for far too long, and she wasn’t going to let another precious moment slip by, especially since she didn’t know how many precious moments they had left.
She rubbed the back of Jay’s hand against her cheek. She thought of all the moments they shared—all the moments they could have shared—and she was angry for allowing her duty to her family to push Jay away. If she were given another chance, there would be no more wasted moments. Only special ones.
“Hey, girlie,” Angel said softly from the doorway.
“What are you doing here? It’s after hours.”
“Your mother called me. Thought I could talk some sense into you. The
question is why didn’t you?”
“I’m sorry,” Coal said, her voice thick with worry and exhaustion. “I didn’t think. I haven’t been able to think since she…since she…”
“Oh, honey.” Angel rushed to Coal’s side, sliding her arms around her neck from behind. “How is she doing?”
“They don’t know. All they can say is that head injuries are unpredictable.”
“Jay, what have you done to yourself?” Angel ran her fingers down Jay’s arm.
“I don’t know if I’m strong enough for this,” Coal whispered.
“Sure you are. Have you eaten anything today?”
“No, but I’m not hungry.” She brushed a strand of hair out of Jay’s face. “It seems I’m always doing that, isn’t that right, baby?”
“Sweetie, you need to eat something. You’re shaking.”
“I’m not leaving her, Angel. Not again.”
“You’re not leaving her. You’re gaining your strength and taking care of yourself. Jay would want you to.”
“I can’t.”
“And you think Jay’s stubborn. Fine. I’ll get you something and be right back.”
Coal rested her head on Jay’s chest, feeling the stress of the day wash over her. Fatigue had set in, the type of fatigue that paralyzed the body and mind. She needed sleep. She needed food. But most of all she needed to see Jay sit up in that bed and flash that electric grin that only Jay knew how to do. When she couldn’t hear anything except both their heartbeats, she leaned over her and whispered a story into her ear.
“Do you remember that day up on the ridge? We were on that hillside overlooking the valley. You came up behind me, wrapping your arms around my waist below that tree. Jay, do you remember?” She stretched out on the bed next to Jay, placing her head in between the crevice where Jay’s neck and shoulder met. “Do you remember me straddling you? My body so hot for you I wanted to scream because I felt like I was going to melt. I knew for sure I was in love with you that day. You know why? Because that day, I saw beyond that ridge. I saw us together. Building a life. I saw…forever in your eyes. I need you to open those eyes for me. Please, baby, I need you so much.”