by Alice Raine
‘I...I thought they’d tell him to stop, or help me, but they didn’t. They...they joined in.’
‘Fucking hell.’
‘I couldn’t understand it, but they didn’t seem bothered that I was crying and screaming. Maybe they’d done more than weed because the next second they were ripping at my clothes too.’ I took a hiccupy breath and shook my head. ‘One took hold of me so Greg could take his trousers off and the other knelt down to work out my belt.
‘I brought my knee up as hard as I could into the guy’s face. Blood came bursting out so I think I might have broken his nose, I never did find out. Greg went totally mental and hit me in the face. His friend let me go, I think the force knocked me out of his grasp. So I took my opportunity and made a break for it.’
Pulling in several ragged breaths I licked my lips, tasting the salt of my tears and prepared for the home straight.
‘Greg had already half dropped his trousers, so it took a second or two for him to give chase. He lived down a farmer’s lane so there were no neighbours, but I knew if I cut across the wheat fields he couldn’t use his car to follow me, and it would bring me out near the police station so I left my bike and went that way.’
I could see the field so clearly in my mind it was as if I’d been there last week. The feel of the spiky wheat heads scratching at my skin as I ran, the rough, bumpy soil slowing my escape...shuddering, I shook my head. To this day I would never, ever forget the sound of the wheat stems behind me snapping and crunching as he caught up with me.
A strange gasp reared up my throat but I swallowed it down. ‘I’d probably made it two thirds of the way across the field, but I knew he was gaining on me.He...he tackled me to the ground, and he was too big for me to fight off.’ My memory was in overdrive, but I didn’t tell Jack the gritty details. I could feel how upset he already was. It would be too much for him to hear that Greg had slapped me and given me a black eye as he’d smirked at me and told me he loved the thrill of the chase. He’d kissed me so viciously that my top lip had burst, and I still had a tiny scar there to prove it.
‘I knew there was no point fighting it. I couldn’t do anything without my hands, so I saved my energy and stopped struggling. Gradually, Greg thought I was giving in, and he released one of my hands so he could undo my belt. As hard as it was, I bided my time, letting him get inside my trousers and pull his own down so he’d think he’d won.’
I squeezed my eyes shut as I remembered how victorious Greg had looked as he’d shoved two fingers inside my underwear. I couldn’t help squeezing my thighs together protectively as another sob leapt from my throat.
‘Then he moved over me and started to push himself inside me...’
‘Jesus fucking Christ...Caitlin...’ Jack’s voice was hoarse, swearing under his breath as he fidgeted, but he seemed unable to let go of me as he continued to clutch me tightly. I was so glad of his contact.
Images of Greg holding his shaft and pressing between my legs caused more hot tears to flow and bile to rise in my throat, but I swallowed hard and tried to maintain my composure. I would never, ever forget how invasive that moment had felt, to the day I died.
‘Luckily he hadn’t pulled my jeans down enough. He couldn’t get my legs wide enough to get fully inside me. As soon as he let go of my other hand to take my jeans off, I punched him as hard as I could in the side of the head. It didn’t knock him out, but it certainly dazed him and as he leant up, I gave him a pretty good knee in the groin.
‘I managed to get up and kick him in the face. He didn’t follow me after that. I got my trousers up and ran to the police station.’ God knows what would have happened if his friends had decided to follow him. It wasn’t something I’d ever let myself dwell upon.
Suddenly, my words dried and instead, my tears began to flow in earnest. It was as if all my energy had been sucked from me.
‘Shhh, it’s OK, sweetheart. It’s OK. You’re safe. I’m here.’ After what seemed like an eternity of Jack’s soothing touch and whispered words he leant back so he could see my eyes, which felt so swollen from the hot tears still flowing down my cheeks that I tried to hide in the sanctuary of his chest.
‘Can I touch your face?’ he enquired, and I nodded, warmed by his gentle request.
Unfortunately, giving Jack permission to touch my face meant that he didn’t allow me the reprieve of his soaked shirt for long, as he lifted one hand slowly and placed a thumb under my chin to lift me up to meet his warm gaze.
Instead of the pity I had expected, all I could see in Jack’s gaze was concern. His eyes were glassy and red-rimmed too, but his expression was calm, showing none of the anger I could feel in his tightly clenched muscles.
Moving the same thumb, he wiped at the endless flow of tears streaming from my eyes and leant down to place a gentle kiss on both of my cheeks. ‘I’m so sorry that happened to you, Caitlin,’ he murmured huskily.
Keeping his face close to mine, he rested his lips on my forehead, leaving his mouth there for several seconds as if trying to control himself. The warmth of his skin made me quiver, not with nerves or fear, but with the sensation of being cared for by this incredible man.
Jack was doing and saying all the right things, but I knew he must be thinking over all I’d told him, and while I was still emotional, I actually found that I felt lighter. It was like a huge weight had been removed from my shoulders and now I could really make a fresh start.
Snuggling into his chest, I tried to come to terms with how our relationship had changed in the last few hours. Until today we’d only held hands, and now here I was sitting on Jack’s lap. And instead of feeling scared or awash with sickening memories, all I felt was safe and warm and protected.
‘I can’t believe I let him get away. What happened to him? Was he charged?’ Jack ground the words out through gritted teeth, and I winced, feeling guilty that I had unburdened my issues on to him.
I didn’t want to continue reminiscing; I’d had enough of thinking about Greg for a lifetime, but it was clear that Jack needed to know. If he was looking for some closure, he was going to be disappointed.
I licked my dry lips before continuing. ‘When the police arrived at his house, he and his mates denied ever having seen me, said they’d had a fight over a game and bruised each other up a bit. I couldn’t understand it, but the police obviously thought three against one was more believable.’
Sighing heavily, I remember how long I’d been in hospital that night having endless test after test before Allie had taken me home. ‘They couldn’t prove anything, because he hadn’t managed to get himself in properly for there to be any DNA evidence...’ Pausing, I flinched. ‘The forensic guys couldn’t find any trace evidence at his house to support that I’d even been there. My bike was gone. His house was spotless. He must have gone back and really cleaned up.
‘That first day, he went into questioning willingly. But as soon as they released him, he disappeared. He’s never been seen since. There was no evidence to link him to the crime so I don’t think the British police are even looking for him.
‘He called at first, always from blocked numbers, and sounding drunk and angry and threatening, which is why I left to go travelling. Now I just get the postcards and letters every few months.’
‘Christ, Caitlin,’ Jack murmured, before placing another kiss on the top of my head and holding me against his chest so tightly it was like he was worried I was going to evaporate.
‘I just can’t believe his friends–guys I’d known from the village for years–were willing to help him. That just made me think that all men are intrinsically sex-crazed arseholes and that I was better off without them.’
‘I understand completely.’ Pushing some stray stands of hair behind my ear, Jack smiled at me and gently wiped away the last of my tears. ‘We’re not all like that. You can trust me, Caitlin. I will never hurt you like that.’
Leaning my face into his hand, I let out a long sigh. ‘I’m starting to understand t
hat,’ I agreed, pressing my lips into his palm. ‘Thank you for listening, Jack. You’re amazing.’
‘It’s not me who’s the incredible one here,’ he murmured, as he cradled me and gently rocked us both.
‘So this is really real, then?’ I asked hesitantly, indicating between the two of us.
‘Yep,’ Jack confirmed with a grin. I felt my cheeks flame with lust. ‘Look, I know you’re not ready to rush into anything physically, and I want to reassure you that I’m happy to wait...’ Jack said.
‘You won’t think I’m being a...a prick tease?’ I whispered.
‘God, no. You take as long as you need to get comfortable.’ Suddenly I wondered if his offer of waiting had anything to do with what I’d just told him. Had it put him off me? ‘I...uh...I hope I didn’t freak you out, telling you my past?’
He instantly shook his head, his dark eyes dragging me in with the intensity of his gaze. ‘Not at all. I’m just so sorry you had to go through that, Caitlin.’
‘You’re not just being nice because you pity me, are you?’ I couldn’t stand the thought of that. Pity was one thing I hated. I might have a shitty past, but I was strong, and getting stronger every day. Support and care I could cope with, but pity? No.
Jack barked out a laugh before sobering his expression. ‘Fuck no. Jesus, Caitlin, look me in the eye and see how I feel about you.’ Gazing into his beautiful eyes, I saw nothing but emotion swirling in the chestnut hues, and I nodded jerkily, nervously chewing on my lip.
‘I don’t want to be with you because I pity you or feel sorry for you, or want to look after you,’ Jack stated, his gaze becoming even deeper. ‘I want to be with you because you attract me like no one else ever has. Your looks, your personality, your wickedly dry sense of humour...everything, Caitlin. That’s why I want to be with you.’
I felt my shoulders relax even as my stomach jumbled into excited knots. ‘I feel like that too, Jack. I’ve never met someone like you. You make me feel...Well, you make me feel things I’ve never experienced before. It’s amazing.’
‘So you’re not just with me because I’m super famous?’ he teased, his eyes twinkling as a devilish grin spread on his face.
I knew he was joking to lighten the mood, but I flushed nonetheless, well aware that I had fancied him before I’d even met him. ‘You know I’m not.’
‘I know, sweetheart.’
‘So, to clarify, we are together and this is most definitely real.’ Jack gave me a determined smile. ‘We don’t need to revisit that topic any more, having said that, I am more than willing to wait. I won’t rush you sweetheart. I’ve already promised you that, and I always keep my promises.’
I’d given him enough chances to take the easy route out and he was still here. I wouldn’t repeat my offer any more. We were together. Officially.
Twenty-four
Jack
I felt full to the brim with anger towards her fucker of an ex but by the time Caitlin had calmed down, the police had arrived to talk to us. I’d called in my lawyer too, Benjamin Hobbs, to make sure everything was done correctly, and he was now sat on a chair beside us. There was no way I was letting her go through questioning alone, so I held myself together to give the support she needed.
Caitlin was incredibly brave as she ran through the story with them, keeping it brief and seeming to deal with the emotions far better than I did.
At one point she started to flick at her elastic bands, and now I knew the background, it became clear where the habit came from. I did, however, offer my hand to her in case she would prefer the contact. Glancing at my extended hand, Caitlin stopped flicking her elastic bands and immediately linked her fingers with mine. Her palm felt cool and clammy, but she tightened her grip and continued to give them the details of the detective in the UK who’d dealt with the case, and the subsequent letters she’d received.
The female detective leant forwards. ‘I know it’ll be hard to recall today’s events, but can you remember what happened? What he said to you?’
Nodding jerkily, Caitlin gripped my hand even tighter. ‘I wasn’t very confident when I was younger, so I think he was expecting me to be the same shy walkover. But I’m not, I’m different now.
‘I was by the lockers putting my phone away, and I felt a tap on my shoulder. It took me a second to realise it was Greg...I’d never expected him to be there...When it clicked, I thought I was going to throw up.’ Caitlin paused, running her free hand through her hair, and I definitely saw a tremble in her fingers. ‘I think he expected me to freeze, but I shoved him hard and tried to make a break for the door.
‘He was closer to the exit than me, and caught me as I got to the corridor. I was going to keep fighting but he...’ her face paled significantly, ‘he drew a blade on me. Said he’d come armed so I couldn’t fight him again. He pressed it right here.’ Caitlin indicated the lower part of her rib cage with a trembling finger.
‘He told me he could puncture my lung quicker than I could scream for help,’ she whispered. I certainly hadn’t seen a knife, but by god I wanted to find this son of a bitch with everything I had in me. ‘It was a flick knife, I think. He pocketed it when he saw Jack.’
Caitlin shifted on the sofa, looking agitated. ‘I should have kept fighting him, but I freaked out. I couldn’t breathe properly.’
‘Did he say or do anything else?’ the detective asked gently.
‘He said he found me because his friend overheard my mum talking to her sister about my new job.’ Caitlin’s eyes lowered and her fingers tightened around mine until her knuckles blanched. ‘There was one more thing...he...he sniffed me,’ Caitlin swallowed hard and shrugged. ‘He ran his nose up my neck to my ear and said I smelt the same, and he said...he said ...’ Her eyes flickered shut and her words dried up as she gulped for air, which made me feel so helpless. ‘...He said he loved the smell of my fear.’
What. The. Fuck? Every muscle in my body exploded with anger. I wanted to find that fucker and kill him. Rip him limb from limb until the smell of his fear was smeared across the whole fucking world.
‘He said it was time we finished what we had started all those years ago.’
‘You think he wants to continue where his last attack was interrupted?’ the male detective asked. Caitlin’s head bobbed up and down jerkily.
‘He...he spat at me as he left, but he missed and hit the floor.’
The two detectives exchanged a look, and then the woman nodded. ‘Get forensics to check that out, could be additional evidence. Can you think of anything else?’
Caitlin just swallowed hard and stared at the detective. She seemed unable to speak any more, as her head fell sideways and rested on my shoulder.
‘This is incredibly distressing for Miss Byrne, surely you must have all you need?’ Benjamin interjected sharply, making me infinitely glad I’d called him here.
‘Yes, of course. If we think of anything, we’ll call you.’ The female detective dug into her bag and held out a business card. ‘If you think you see him, call us immediately. My direct number is on there.’
Finally they left, and after I saw Benjamin out I returned to find the room blessedly silent again. Caitlin silently crawled into my lap when I sat down and I stroked her hair as she cried more tears into my shirt. I didn’t know what else to do, so I reassured her with soft words until I felt her body go heavy. Looking down, I realised she had fallen asleep. The stress of the day must have really taken its toll on her.
Easing myself out from underneath her, I laid her down and tucked a blanket around her. Briefly I stood there watching her sleep and I made a silent vow–I would never let anyone hurt her again.
Twenty-five
Allie
Glancing at the clock, I saw it had been over two hours since Cait and Jack had holed themselves up in the lounge. Would she be brave enough to tell him everything?
I wasn’t the most patient person when it came to waiting, and so many questions were going around my mind that
I’d nearly burst in on them several times. The police had left five minutes before, and there had still been no word from the lounge. As I stood at the kitchen table, I wondered how long I should give them before I went in.
I was thrilled that Cait was letting Jack in, but seeing as she’d had a pretty major meltdown today I wanted to check she was OK. I knew Jack had her best interests at heart, but their relationship was still so new and as her longest friend I wanted to support her if she needed me. Plus, I was nosey, and desperate for the gossip.
Just as I was about to check if I could hear them talking through the door, the sound of Sean’s key in the front door caught my ear. Within a minute he had joined me in the kitchen and immediately pulled me into his arms for a hello kiss.
A very thorough hello kiss.
Grinning, I let him have his way with me for a few seconds and after several moments of brief, hot kissing, he trailed small pecks across my jaw.
‘Hello, my gorgeous girl.’
Burying my lips in his neck, I smiled as I soaked up his lovely smoky, spicy scent. ‘Hmm. I could get used to this. I like finding you in my house when I get home,’ he murmured breathily.
I rather liked it too.
Pausing in his exploration, he leant back and met my gaze, immediately looking just a little smug when he took in my flushed cheeks.
‘Hi, you. Good day?’ I murmured, my hands sliding around his waist and settling on his firm bum.
‘Not bad. Better now I’m here with you.’ He jerked his hips forward to thrust his growing erection at my belly and gave a wiggle of his eyebrows as he placed another kiss on my lips.
‘It looked like Jack’s car was in the garage, is he here too?’
‘He is. He’s with Cait in the lounge. We’ve had a very eventful day,’ I explained with a grimace. Sean’s eyebrows rose before he reluctantly let me go and walked to the fridge to pull out two beers.
‘What’s happened?’