by Khloe Wren
Whatever the outcome, I’d deal with it, and get on with my life.
Taz
“Is anyone else getting a sense of déjà vu?”
Eagle chuckled at my comment as he, Mac and I left our bikes and headed into a cafe in Houston.
“I wasn’t surprised when he called. Not after everything that went down. But it should be interesting to hear what he has to say.”
Indeed. Their former CO, Sergeant Major Johnson had called Mac yesterday to request they meet again. It had been the Sergeant Major who’d originally asked them to sign on for the assignment with the FBI, so like Mac, I hadn’t been surprised when he’d called us to meet with him the day after Flick told her boss the three of us had chosen our side, and it wasn’t with the feds.
Straightening my cut, I followed Mac and Eagle through to door to find the Sergeant Major once again standing to greet us.
“Men. Good to see you. Take a seat.”
We followed orders and sat down at the table with him. He’d picked a table toward the back, and I noticed that all the tables around ours were empty. A waitress came and took our orders, then once she was gone, the Sergeant Major’s expression turned serious as he cleared his throat.
“I hear you three have been busy since you got to Bridgewater. Care to fill me in?”
“I think you know already. Flick’s boss called you, didn’t he?”
He nodded slowly. “Yes, I received a call. But I want you three to tell me what’s happened. And you know I have clearance to hear all of it.”
Eagle started it off, recapping how we prospected in and how he fell for Silk. How in protecting her we handed over some information to our FBI handler, only for it fall into the L.A. mob’s hands.
Mac took over next, explaining what went down with the Iron Hammers and Zara. He also pointed out the involvement our FBI handler had in that fucking mess, before he vanished when it was all over. Then it was my turn.
“After all that, and the fact we’d all found our place within the club, we didn’t want to work for the FBI anymore. But we had no fucking clue how to successfully end our arrangement.”
“You call me. That’s how you end this, you call your CO and I handle it. Did any of you think of that?”
Heat crept over my cheeks. I hadn’t. Not once. But we totally should have.
“Sorry, sir.”
He scoffed, shaking his head. “So, instead they sent sweet little Felicity Vaughn down to entice you to stay with them.”
The ache in my chest lit up like the Fourth of July. Fuck, it had only been what? Forty-eight hours since I’d last seen her, but damn I missed that woman.
“I wouldn’t call Flick sweet, but yeah, they sent her down to work with me.” I gave him a quick rundown of how the past couple of weeks had rolled out. “In the end, it blew all our covers out of the water. Scout, the Charon’s president, told us if we wanted to stay, then we needed to cut all involvement with the FBI. We told him we would. He told Flick to report that to her boss.”
“So, all three of you are sure you wish to remain with the Charon MC?”
“Yes, sir.”
“Do you believe Andrew Vaughn will be an issue now he knows where you are?”
Mac shook his head. “He would have heard that we were with the Charons when everything went down with the Iron Hammers. If he didn’t come after us then, he won’t now.”
I spoke to back up Mac’s point. “When we rode up to rescue Flick, Vaughn was with her. He had more than one chance to come at me and he didn’t. Well, other than to warn me to not hurt his sister, that is.”
Sergeant Major frowned as our food was delivered, waiting for the waitress to leave before speaking again.
“I’ll let them know that you three are out, then. If they try to draw you back in, you contact me. Understand? I won’t have them giving my men shit.”
“Yes, sir.”
All three of us spoke at once and I could see the Sergeant Major fighting not to grin at us.
“Old habits die hard, sir.”
“That they do, Lee. That they do.”
Which he was proving, because even though we’d left the USMC, our CO still had our backs and was willing to fight for us. Had to admit, it felt good to have someone not simply toss me away when I’d become a little difficult.
CHAPTER 22
One week later
Flick
I’d never been so nervous in my life. I probably should have called Taz before now. That would have been the smart thing to do, but this whole crazy fucking plan had been on impulse from the beginning. Including me rocking up on his doorstep late at night.
It hadn’t taken long for me to come to the conclusion that I’d fallen in love with Taz. Now, I was betting everything on the fact he felt the same way. Or at least felt like he could love me one day.
Maybe I was making a mistake.
I stood frozen for a moment. This could end so very badly. What was I doing? I was still standing next to my car, staring at the front of Taz’s house, when Eagle emerged from the shadows beside the building. I watched him approach, but still I couldn’t move.
“Hey, Flick. Whatcha doing?”
“Hey, Eagle. To be honest, I’ve got no fucking clue.”
He ran his gaze over my car, zeroing in on all the boxes and bags inside. It wasn’t by accident this man got the nickname Eagle. Although even a moron couldn’t miss the fact I basically had my entire life inside my car.
“Silk told me you went to see her today.”
I nodded. “She tell you why?”
He nodded and zeroed his gaze in on my feet. “She did.”
“She’s really good.”
His lips quirked, like he knew I was stalling. “That she is. Wanna show me?”
I tugged up the bottom of my jeans, as I turned to show Eagle the small Tasmanian Devil that now resided a little above my ankle.
“He’ll love that.” There was a spark of humor in his voice before he grew serious again. “Tell me, Flick. You pick today to come here on purpose?”
I winced. Of course his friends would know the significance of the eighth of April to their friend.
“Yeah, it’s on purpose. But I’m late because I’ve spent hours driving around, trying to build up the courage to actually come here. Maybe I should go to a hotel tonight and come back in the morning...”
“No, you shouldn’t do that. He needs you.”
I wasn’t entirely certain of that, I mean, he hadn’t exactly called me over these past seven days. Did he really miss me?
“I can see you have questions. I’d suggest you select what you ask him tonight with care.”
I turned to stare at Eagle’s dark eyes. “Why? What’s happened?”
“He’s a good way through a bottle of Jack.”
I swallowed past a lump in my throat as tears pricked my eyes. My poor Taz. Finally, my feet unfroze from the ground and I took a step toward the front door.
“No, he’s not inside. Follow me, I’ll take you to him, then I’ll leave you be. I’ve been hanging back in the shadows watching, making sure he doesn’t do anything too stupid in his drunkenness, but now you’re here, I’ll leave him to you. If you need me, just call out. I won’t be too far away.”
I couldn’t speak. Too many emotions bubbled and roiled inside me as I followed him down past the side of the house and around to the back. Eagle stopped while we were still in the shadows and I stepped up to stand beside him. Following his gaze, the sight I found broke my heart in two. Taz sat on his porch, drinking straight from a rapidly emptying bottle of Jack as he ran his palm over something leather that sat across his lap.
“What’s he holding?”
I whispered low, so my voice wouldn’t travel. Eagle shook his head. “You’ll need to see that for yourself. Go on now, go fix my brother. We’ll see you around tomorrow, no doubt.”
With that, Eagle melted into the shadows once again and I took my first step out of them, toward my man.
My poor, broken, suffering man. I was halfway to him when he looked up and caught sight of me. The bottle was halfway to his mouth and he froze for a moment before he brought it the rest of the way and took a large swallow. I climbed the back stairs, and still he remained silent.
“Hey.”
He took another drink as he watched me, and I started fidgeting as I began to feel like a science experiment.
“Pretty sure you’re just my imagination, but you know what? I really don’t give a fuck.”
Considering how far through the bottle he was, I was impressed he could talk straight. Especially if he thought he was hallucinating.
“I’m real, babe. Can I sit down?”
He slowly nodded. He was sitting on an old-school porch swing, in the middle, but he didn’t shift over. Nope, he just patted his knee. That was when I saw what he had in his lap, what he’d been stroking. He had a vest, no a cut. It had “Property of Taz” written on the back, around a Charon patch. Shit. He was sitting out here on the twentieth anniversary of the death of his mother and sister, getting shitfaced drunk, while stroking the leather he’d wanted me to wear. My heart seized up with hope, and pain.
With a gentle smile, I walked to stand directly in front of him, nodding at the leather. “That for me?”
“Was meant to be. No fucking clue whether you want it anymore, though. Fuck, I wish this was really you. That you’d really wear my patch.”
Slowly, I reached forward and picked up the cut. Relief washed over me as he released the leather and let me take it. I slipped it behind me and threaded my arms through it, pulling the front halves in over my chest. I wanted to look down, to see what the patches said, but instead my gaze stayed glued to his. His blue irises flared with heat as he took another drink from his bottle. Moving forward, I slipped a knee up next to his thigh on one side, then the other, lowering my body until I straddled his lap.
“Tell me you’re real. That I’m not imagining this.”
“I’m real, Taz. I’m real and I’m here to stay. If you’ll have me.”
He shuddered beneath me and unable to hold back any longer, I leaned in and pressed my lips to his. He tasted like the whiskey he was drinking, and he didn’t have the same finesse he normally had when he kissed me. But that was understandable, considering how much he’d had to drink tonight. I kept the kiss short, then leaned back to sit against his legs, but kept my palms on him, stroking over his shoulders, chest and torso. Now that I was touching him again, I couldn’t make myself stop.
“Dream fucking come true. I think it’s a first.”
“What’s a first?”
“Something fucking good with a female, my curious little kitty. And a first that I had a dream that was fucking good, because, babe, my dreams? They’re normally fucking nightmares. Especially this time of year. But the few nights I had you beside me, I fucking slept. First time in a bloody long time, I had dreamless sleep.”
“I’m glad I could give that to you, Taz. And I plan to give you so many more nights like it. For the rest of our lives, if you’ll have me.”
“See? You keep saying shit like that? Like what I’m desperate to hear, and I’ll never believe you’re real.”
I smiled. “Well, I guess when you start tripping over all my stuff I’ve left around your house, you’ll start to believe it. I’m kinda messy.”
He was still staring at his property patch over my heart. “That’s okay, babe. The USMC made sure I keep shit neat as a pin. We’ll be fine.” He took another mouthful of Jack. “You gotta promise to never leave. I can’t handle another woman leaving me. Understand?”
“Your mother didn’t leave you on purpose, Taz. She didn’t abandon you, she was ripped away. And I promise I won’t ever leave you. I’ve only taken this long because I had to get shit sorted out in Dallas before I could move down here permanently.”
He leaned forward and pressed his nose against my throat, inhaling deeply before pressing a wet, open-mouthed kiss there that left me shuddering on a moan.
“You smell real, taste as fucking good as I remember. And I know Mum didn’t leave me by choice. Well, she could have kicked that fucker Gordon out before he ever got the idea in his fool head to strangle her, then light that fucking fire. But no, she didn’t leave me. Doesn’t matter, though. First my dad died, fighting some fucking enemy in some far off country no one’s meant to know anything about. Then Mum and Gracie were gone. Then even Aunt Pam, the old bitch, threw me out as soon as could. Stupid fucking cow. You’d think she’d make the most of the free fucking labor I was providing and be willing to keep feeding me. But nope, as soon as I turned eighteen, she told me she couldn’t look at my bloody face anymore. Apparently looking like my old man is a crime in her book. But somehow, you leaving, you choosing your work, the fucking F - B - I over me, that hurt worse. How’d you make me love you so fucking much in such a short amount of time, babe? I can’t work that shit out. In a week, you got me wrapped completely around your little finger.”
Clearly, he still didn’t believe I was real. That or the alcohol was starting to affect his deeper thought processes. When he went to lift the bottle again, I pried it from his hand.
“I think you’ve had enough of that, babe. How about we get you up to bed? We can talk everything through in the morning.”
He narrowed his eyes on me as I set the bottle down on the ground, away from his easy reach.
“I don’t wanna go to bed. That means sleep. Means you disappear, and the nightmares come back.”
My chest ached for him. I cupped his face between my hands, his stubble scraping against my palms as I stared directly into his eyes.
“How can I prove to you that I’m not a figment of your imagination? Wanna come out the front and see my car? How it’s filled with everything I own? Will that do it? Maybe we could call Eagle back over here to tell you I’m real.”
He frowned. “Eagle was here?”
I rolled my eyes. “Of course your friend was here. He knew you were hurting and didn’t want you to do something stupid because you got drunk off your ass to cope with it. He said he’d leave me to handle you once I got here, but I bet he won’t go to bed until he sees the lights are off over here.”
He scoffed. “Interfering bastard. And he calls himself my mate.”
I gave him a little shake. “You know he’s your best mate, him and Mac both. Now, how about we go inside, you can drink a big glass of water, then we’ll head upstairs and get you into bed? I just need to run out to my car to grab a couple bags for the morning, then I’ll be right beside you all night. Okay? That sound good?”
He nodded, then winced. Yeah, all that Jack was starting to really kick in now. Fuck, I hoped he didn’t pass out. He might not be much taller than me, but the man was solid fucking muscle and I was certain I wouldn’t be able to carry his ass if he passed out.
I slid from his lap and taking his hand, led him into the house. Leaving him leaning against the kitchen bench, I poured him a glass of water and waited for him to drink it before I refilled the glass to take upstairs with us. His head was gonna hurt like a bitch in the morning, after this little drinking binge of his.
The closer we got to his room, the more sleepy he got. By the time I had him standing next to the bed, his eyes were half closed and he wore the stupid grin drunk people got. It had me chuckling as I striped off his clothes. No matter how much Taz joked around, he always had a serious, hard edge to him. Like, at a glance you could tell he was a Marine. Right now, he was all teddy bear, soft and cuddly. I couldn’t wait to be wrapped in his arms to sleep the night away.
Once I had him stripped and tucked in. I leaned down to kiss his temple. He hadn’t said a word since we came inside and it was a little freaky, really. And what he said next didn’t make it better. Nope. Kinda wished he’d stayed quiet as soon as he started speaking.
“That fire isn’t my only nightmare, you know? Nope. That fucking orphanage is one of the worst I have. All the bodies. You wanna kn
ow what happened? Why your brother couldn’t fucking come home? It was because he’s a good fucking man, who got stuck in a shitty, shitty situation. He did the best he could, but still got burned for it. Those men he was trying to stop? Now they were animals. The worst fucking kind. Of course, they weren’t the first bunch of military men to turn evil in a war. But to rape and murder your way through a fucking orphanage? That takes a special kind of evil, that does. Fuck, Flick. By the time we got sent in, it was nearly too late to save any of them. Kids...they were just fucking kids. Their bodies torn up. The few adults that were there? They’d clearly tried to fight. Naturally, against fucking Marines they’d had no fucking chance. But your brother, Vaughn—he snuck in behind them. We got there after he’d killed the first and was going after the second. On. His. Own. We went in with a team to contain those pricks, but your stupidly brave brother ran in on his own. Probably saved more than a few lives that day. And his thanks? Dishonorable fucking discharge, because no one cared enough to separate out the good from the bad before they swept it all under the fucking rug to never be seen again.”
By the end his voice had slurred out to the point he was hard to understand, then he was asleep before I could form a response. Not that I could. Tears ran down my cheeks—for Taz, for Andrew—for everyone in that orphanage. After I stood there for probably half an hour, crying silent tears and watching Taz sleep, I shook myself free and headed down to grab my bags, lock up and turn off the lights so I could curl up with him.
Although I was pretty sure it was me that was going to be having the nightmares tonight.
Taz
There were little men with fucking sledge hammers inside my skull. And the bastards wouldn’t stop pounding on me. Fuckers. With a groan, I rolled over and stumbled to the bathroom. After relieving myself, I opened the cabinet to search for some Advil. When I saw the packet sitting next to a glass of water beside the sink, I frowned. What the fuck? Since thinking hurt, I stopped trying to remember how it got there, and just took two of the bloody things, washing them down with a long drink of the cold water before I brushed my teeth to get rid of the funky taste I had in my mouth. When I went to return to bed, I stopped in my tracks.