“Yeah. We’re good.” I took one of the cups from his hand after giving Leighton a warning glare.
“Sure.” She forced a smile, jumping down from her spot on the tailgate. “Thanks for the beer.” Her grin turned mischievous as she stole the other cup from Tucker’s hand.
Tucker chuckled, shaking his head in amusement as Leighton walked away. He took the last few steps to me, nudging my legs apart so he could stand between them. The palms of his hands cradled my face as he studied my eyes. “Lottie, you sure you’re okay? I can tell something’s been bothering you all night. Talk to me, babe.”
I tore my eyes from his, staring down at the cheap beer in the cheap, red cup. “I’m fine, Tuck. I think I’m just tired from the events today. Will you take me home?” I looked back up at him, hating myself for lying to him for the first time ever.
He studied me in silence, then planted a firm kiss on my lips. Intertwining his fingers with mine, he helped me down from the truck, closing the tailgate. We said goodbye to our friends before climbing into the cab and driving away, leaving everyone to carry on partying until the early morning hours.
I was pressed against Tucker’s side on the bench seat of his truck as he shifted it into park in front of my house. He put his arm around me as I nuzzled my face deeper into his chest. Inhaling him. Memorizing his scent. Branding his touch into my skin.
Out of everyone in Billingsley, he was the one person I would miss the most. The one person I’d regret leaving. But he was also the one person who could potentially make me regret staying.
“What’s going on with you, Lottie? I have this feeling in my gut. Something’s not right.”
I lifted my head to his concerned eyes, holding back the tears that were threatening in mine. I inched up higher, pressing my lips to his, needing to taste him one last time.
He deepened the kiss, his tongue sweeping inside my mouth. I moaned as he pulled me onto his lap, my legs straddling his as my back pressed against the steering wheel. I rocked my hips, my body begging for more.
For once, I was thankful my jeans were a barrier between us, only making it more difficult for him to give me what I truly wanted but couldn’t take right then. If he’d claimed me in that moment—like I wanted—filling my body with his, connecting us once again, there would be no way I could do what I had to do.
His hands glided up my thighs, slipping under my shirt as one found purchase on my breast and the other reached around my back for the clasp of my bra. I broke the kiss, pulling away from him.
“I should go inside. Mom’s light is still on. She’s waiting up for me.”
“Since when have you cared about that?” He smirked, his green eyes gleaming in the moonlight.
I smacked his chest playfully, a grin tugging at my lips. “Another time,” I added my second lie to the list, crawling from his lap, pulling my shirt back down to cover my stomach.
I moved from his side, sliding across the seat to leave when he pulled me back to him. He slammed his lips to mine, kissing me once more.
“I’m going to hold you to that, Lottie,” he teased as he pulled his lips from mine. “I love you.”
I swallowed the pain lodged in my throat as my chest tightened. “I love you too, Tuck.”
That wasn’t a lie. I knew since we were kids Tucker Monroe was the only man I’d ever truly love. It was the reason I had to leave and never look back. Our eyes remained locked as I told him a silent goodbye. One I would never say out loud. If I did, he’d try to talk me out of it. And he’d succeed, so I couldn’t give him the opportunity.
I wasn’t strong enough to fight him on this. So, I chose not to fight at all. I chose to leave, like a coward. Though, at the time, I told myself I was being strong by walking away. I didn’t ever want to see the love we had for each other turn into the loathing hate my parents now felt.
I slipped out of his truck, scurrying up the steps onto my front porch. He gave me his signature grin before driving away, leaving me alone with my self-inflicted pain and guilt. I curled into a fetal position as I cried the rest of the night in my bed. By dawn, I showered, packed the remainder of my things I planned to take with me, and loaded my car. I left my mom, standing on the porch, staring after my cloud of dust.
Tucker had called every day for two weeks straight after discovering I was gone the next morning. I ignored every one of his calls, never giving him the chance to change my mind. Never giving him the explanation I knew he deserved. After that, I never heard from him again. Because after that, I changed my number and disappeared from his life altogether.
4
Tucker
Staring across the room, watching her laugh with old friends, I felt my thirteen-year-old self succumbing to a heady infatuation. Fucking Lottie Davis. She was here. I’d heard the rumors she was in town. I hadn’t truly believed it. Not until I saw it with my own two eyes.
She hadn’t noticed me. But I noticed her as soon as she stepped through the door. She’d always had a way of grabbing my attention, even when we were kids. I sensed her presence as soon as she walked in a room. A magnetism drawing me to her like a moth to a flame.
My eyes had been glued to her all night. She was different. Not the girl I remembered. She had a sexy innocence back then. Now there was nothing innocent about her. She was still sexy as hell with her long, auburn hair, rare blue eyes and nice, toned body. The skin-tight jeans and fitted top she wore revealed every one of her beautiful curves. Every man in the bar was watching her, wanting to take her home. And it irritated the hell out of me that their eyes were on her. The same way mine were, visualizing her with only those heels on.
I wasn’t sure if I was more relieved or more pissed Billy Miller had been by her side the whole night, keeping her away from all the horny bastards in the bar. Billy had a thing for her for the longest time, but she’d been mine. As far as I knew, he’d never made a pass at her before now. He was probably thrilled about finally getting the chance at making his teenage wet dreams come true.
I snuck another glance over my shoulder to look at her. She knew I was here now. After our eyes locked earlier, she almost fell to the ground from the shock of seeing me.
My muscles tensed once again as I watched Billy lean closer to whisper something in her ear, making her laugh.
Damn it.
I needed to stop watching her—them. Every time his hand touched a part of her body, I had to fight back the jealous rage coursing through me. It wasn’t doing my sanity any good. She didn’t belong to me anymore. Not sure she ever really had. She made that pretty clear the day she left town without even a goodbye.
She’d been the center of my universe since I was ten. And then she was gone, leaving me with nothing but a broken heart and fucking confused head. I knew that night something was off with her. To this day, I still don’t know why she left the way she did. I should have pressed her harder. I had so many regrets from that night for so many years. And seeing her again was bringing it all back.
Twelve years ago…
I stared in my rear-view mirror as I drove away, looking back at Lottie as she stood on her front porch, her arms clinging to her stomach with a pained, watery gaze. I had no idea what was putting it there. It killed me she wasn’t telling me. She’d always been honest with me. We didn’t lie to each other. I hoped she truly was just tired, and I was only misinterpreting her mood.
I wanted to flip the truck back around, climb in her window, and spend the night holding her. Something told me I should, but I didn’t want to smother her. She was obviously dealing with something she didn’t want my help with. If I couldn’t be with her, I wanted to go home. But with the party still going on in my family’s field, I was forced to go back and make sure nothing crazy happened.
A bunch of drunken underage teens playing with fire could easily lead to terrible shit. My father would have my hide if any crops got burned, especially right before harvest. And I didn’t need the old man on my ass more than he already was.
<
br /> I backed my truck into the spot it was earlier. I put it in park and then got out, headed straight for the keg where my buddies were still standing. Derek had poured me a drink by the time I approached.
“Did you get Lottie Dottie tucked in all tight?” he teased, handing me the cup. “She must have been all ‘tuckered’ out.”
“Ha-ha. Fuck you, man,” I growled, taking the cup from his hand. I was in no mood for his shit or anyone else’s. Lottie was still weighing heavily on my mind. Derek laughed, shaking his head before turning to carry on his conversation with Jimmy and Aaron.
Leighton gave me a knowing look from across the circle. My eyes narrowed as I stared at her. Maybe she knew what was going on with Lottie. That would make fucking one of us. I tried to listen to my buddies as they talked about random crap, but the nagging feeling in my gut wouldn’t go away. If I couldn’t get an answer out of Lottie, maybe I could out of Leighton.
I stared at Leighton, trying to silently get her attention. When she finally looked my way, taking her eyes from Aaron, I nodded my head back toward my truck. I turned and walked away, hoping she understood to follow me.
I got into the cab of my truck, waiting for her to join me. The passenger door opened and Abby Taylor slid into the seat next to me.
What the hell was she doing?
“Hey, Tuck”—she smiled—“you look like you could use some company.”
“Thanks for your concern, Abby, but I’m good. You can leave.”
Abby had always been a bitch to Lottie, and I knew it was purely out of jealousy. Sure, Abby was a pretty girl, but she didn’t compare to Lottie. And she made a point to make Lottie’s life miserable as the head cheerleader and lead mean girl in school.
Her hand glided across my thigh, apparently taking my response as an invitation rather than the blatant dismissal it was. I clutched her wrist, stopping her movement.
“Don’t fucking touch me, Abby. You know I’m with Lottie,” I warned, removing her hand from my leg.
She jerked her wrist from my grasp. “You mean Lottie Dottie…the one who likes to potty in her pants,” she mocked.
“She was a kid when it happened, Abby. Call her that one more damn time, and I’ll make your life a living hell.”
Abby had never let Lottie live that embarrassing accident down, branding her with the nickname Lottie Dottie, who likes to potty. She was four at the time. Abby made sure that moment followed her for the next fourteen years.
The passenger door opened once again. This time Leighton stood there staring at the two of us. Shit. I hoped she wouldn’t misconstrue what was truly going on here. Leighton’s eyes narrowed as an evil smile slithered across Abby’s face. Motherfucker. She better not say something happened between us.
“Out,” I growled at Abby.
She feigned offense with pouty lips as she gave me one final look before sliding out of the truck. Pushing past Leighton, she purposely knocked her shoulder. Leighton watched her walk away before turning her eyes back to me.
“It’s not what you think. I didn’t—”
She threw the palm of her hand up, stopping my explanation. “You don’t need to say anything, Tuck. We both know what a bitch Abby is. She’s been after you from the beginning. Anything to hurt Lottie.”
I nodded, hoping that meant Leighton trusted I would never do that to Lottie. She climbed into the cab with me, shutting the door.
“I’m sorry, Tuck.”
“For what, Leighton?”
Her big, brown eyes turned to look at me, a surprised expression twisting her face. “She didn’t tell you?”
“Tell me what, Leighton?”
“Nothing.” She shook her head. “It’s not my place, Tucker. I won’t get in the middle…if she didn’t tell you when you dropped her off, then I hope she does sooner than later. Or maybe she changed her mind.”
I never knew what the hell Leighton was talking about until it was too late.
“Tuck, man, are you even listening to us?” Jimmy’s voice pulled me back to the present.
“What?” I asked, my eyes looking up from my beer to find Derek and Jimmy both staring at me expectantly.
“Shit, Tucker. I figured after twelve years you wouldn’t be so hard up for her still.” Derek smirked, shaking his head in disbelief before taking a sip of his beer.
“What the hell are you talking about?”
“You and Lottie. You’ve been staring at her all night, man. Stop acting like a fucking creeper and just go talk to her.”
“Shut up, man. I haven’t been staring at her.”
They both laughed at my lie.
“I heard she’s looking for a contractor. Maybe you could offer to help her out… You know, a way to break the ice,” Jimmy suggested as if I were a pubescent teen who had no idea how to talk to a fucking woman.
I ignored him, taking a sip of my own beer.
“You spent years wanting a chance to find out what happened. Now you’re just gonna throw it away?” Jimmy continued to try to convince me to make a move.
“Right… Well, I guess if you’re not interested, then maybe I’ll take a shot. That is if Billy hasn’t already called dibs. She’s hotter than I remembered. Lottie Dottie is all grown up.” A sly grin tugged at Derek’s lips as he eyed her over my shoulder.
“Keep the hell away from her,” I growled, slamming my beer back down, pushing away from the table. I glared at my friends and walked away.
I knew I overreacted. Derek was only messing with me, stirring shit up. He would never actually take a shot at Lottie. He and Jimmy had been my best friends since we were six years old. They knew what her disappearing act had done to me. They stood by me through some of my worst days—years. They were the ones who finally got through to me, kicking my ass out of the darkness. With the support of Grams and my younger sister, Jamie, they helped me to heal from the devastation of Lottie’s disappearance.
I stomped toward the back exit near the restrooms. I needed some fucking air. A minute to get my shit together. I shouldn’t have blown up at my friends. But seeing her had me spinning with an uncontrollable anger. I wanted to walk up to her and demand an explanation. I wanted to rip her away from Billy and claim her as mine. Fucking shit. Thinking about burying myself between her legs was not helping.
I pushed through the door, letting it slam against the wall before it fell closed again. I roughly rubbed my hands over my face as I took a few deep breaths, hoping they’d calm me. I knew I should just leave. Get in my truck and drive the fuck away from here. From her.
I didn’t need to be out all night anyway. I had responsibilities now. Someone who needed me. Someone I was committed to. Talking to Lottie was only going to complicate things. But damn it. I needed some fucking answers. Answers I’d been desperate to hear for years. I took another deep inhale and then walked back through the door.
I hadn’t taken more than four steps back inside when I felt the familiar spark in the air. I looked up as she came out of the restroom, giggling with Leighton. She stopped in the hallway, staring back at me. Leighton followed suit. The two of them had always been thick as thieves. It seemed that bond hadn’t been broken. The three of us stood there… Well, I stood. The two of them were obviously drunk as hell and swaying more than anything.
“I’ll give you two a minute.” Leighton broke the strained silence. She gave Lottie’s arm a squeeze and then walked away.
Lottie took a few staggering steps toward me before planting her back on the wall with a defeated sigh. She took a few deep breaths with her eyes closed, steeling herself. She rotated her body to face me, still leaning against the wall for support. I wasn’t sure if it was for physical or emotional support. Maybe both.
“How ya been, Tuck?” she finally spoke, her voice like a seductive dominatrix as it rolled across my body, demanding my cock to attention.
Fuck. I was screwed.
“Really, Lottie? That’s how you want to start this conversation? How the hell do you think
I’ve been?”
I took a couple steps toward her, slowly, predatorily. My body wanting to be closer to hers. Itching to feel the heat of her skin and the softness of her curves below my hands.
“I don’t know, Tuck. That’s why I’m asking. What else do you want me to say?”
Her breath caught as my body stopped a foot from hers. A sign she was just as impacted by my presence as I was by hers. I leaned against the wall, crossing my arms against my chest to keep myself from reaching out and pulling her into me. I was close enough I could smell her. She smelled like fucking heaven, making me want to believe she was an angel. It was a trick. I knew she was the devil in disguise.
“How ’bout you finally tell me why,” I demanded more than suggested, putting her on the spot.
I’d never been harsh with Lottie. Not to say we didn’t have some fights back in the day, but at least then I knew we’d make up. I wasn’t so sure how this conversation was going to end.
“It doesn’t matter, Tuck.” She abruptly ripped her eyes from mine. The same way she’d ripped my heart from my chest. “It was a long time ago,” she whispered as she continued to stare blankly at the wall on the other side of the hallway.
She was fighting her own desire. Her rapid breathing and the blush tinting her paler than normal skin gave her away. Wherever she’d been living, she wasn’t getting out in the sun much. The thought seemed contradicting to the girl I once knew. She’d always been outside running around on the farm. Maybe she’d changed. Or maybe I never really knew her at all. I should have seen back then she was as wild and free as the horse she rode. Nobody would ever tame her. Yet, I was the fool who tried.
I did know one thing, though. She wanted me as badly as I wanted her. And if she didn’t want to talk, then I’d get the one other thing I needed from her right then. I gently gripped her jaw with my thumb and fingers, forcing her to look at me. She let out a breathy gasp at my touch, reminding me of the noises she made when she came.
Redeeming Lottie Page 4