I lifted to my elbow, running a hand through my hair, frustrated and angry at how messed up her view of our relationship was. She had no fucking idea what she meant to me. I never got over her. And I was damn sure at this point I never would. She watched me as I struggled silently with her words.
“I want more, Lottie. And not with anyone else. I want more with you.”
I gave her my truth. It was the only thing I could do at this point. I couldn’t keep pretending what was happening between us was just a fling—just sex.
It was more than that for me. And if things were going to continue, she needed to know. We should’ve had this conversation long ago. But I was desperate to take whatever I could get from her. Too afraid she’d give me nothing if I told her the honest truth. But I couldn’t lie to her or myself any longer.
“Tucker.” She sighed, rolling to her back to look at the ceiling. “We can’t keep living in the past. I’m not that same girl and you’re not that same boy.”
“That’s not what I want. I want to know you again. I’m asking for you to give this a chance. To consider a future.” I gently gripped her jaw, turning her eyes back to me, stroking my thumb back and forth along her smooth skin. “Don’t pretend you don’t feel what’s between us, Lottie. It’s not something you can deny.”
“I don’t know that I can promise you what you want, Tucker.”
“A chance…that’s all I’m asking for right now. We can figure out the rest as we go.”
I lowered my hand from her face, holding my breath as I waited for her answer. Praying for God to answer my prayers. The woman before me was the only one I would ever ask for. Ever want. Ever love. Ever belong to.
When her head slowly began to nod and her smile began to grow, my heart about leapt out of my damn chest, unsure if what I was seeing was my imagination or the real deal.
I growled, claiming her lips. She giggled through our kiss as I crawled over her, intent on laying claim to every inch of that unearthly body of hers for the rest of the night.
“You just made me the happiest man on earth, sweetheart.” I pushed up her shirt to reveal those tits she liked to torture me with. I pushed her bra aside, cupping one while taking it into my mouth.
“Tuck,” she gasped, her hands already working at my pants. “I still have a job I need to go back to.”
Another gasp as I sucked on that sensitive spot where her neck met her shoulder.
I lifted my mouth from her body, so I could see her face. “I know, babe. I’m not asking you to change your life for me. One day at a time. We’ll figure it out.”
This time it was her taking charge. Her fingers dug into my scalp as she pulled me back down to her mouth, both of us desperate for the connection. I spent the rest of the night reconnecting us in every way imaginable. Bending, possessing, worshipping her in every way I could.
16
Lottie
With my coffee mug in one hand, my knees pressed against my chest held with the other, I stared at the email on my laptop sitting on the bed in front of me. Two weeks. That was all I had. Two weeks, and I would be forced to leave for Paris if I wanted to keep my job. Two. Weeks.
This shouldn’t be bad news. In fact, two weeks ago, I would have been excited. Two weeks ago, I would have never believed I’d want more time in Billingsley. Now I had a choice to make. It should be a simple choice. But when it came to Tucker Monroe, nothing was simple. Especially after I promised him last night I’d give things a chance.
What was I thinking? I must have been swept up in the moment. I must have been letting my vagina think for me instead of my head. Yeah. That’s a thing. At least for me.
Yet, in the light of the morning, sitting alone in my bed, I didn’t regret telling him yes. And for the first time in years, I no longer felt the haunting guilt I’d had for over a decade. As if there was something good on the horizon, allowing me to leave the bitter past behind.
My phone rang beside me. I picked it up, answering the call from Hannah using the speakerphone.
“Hey, hooker. You all set for my arrival this week?”
I chuckled, laying the phone back down beside me on the bed. “The better question is are you prepared to experience the big town of Billingsley?”
“Oh. I’m ready all right. Hurricane Hannah is coming to town. And I have plans to stir up all kinds of gossip and shock the shit off their cowboy boots.”
“Can’t wait.” I smiled through my feigned sarcasm. I really couldn’t wait to have her here with me. I needed someone to ground me, remind me of the life I had waiting for me. “Are you sure you don’t want me to just pick you up at the airport?”
“As long as there’s GPS service, I should make it just fine. How hard could it be to find anyway? There’s like two roads in that town, right?”
“I’m more worried about you finding your way to the farm.”
“I’ll find a cute cowboy to show me the way.”
I heard boots echoing off the bare wood floors, signaling Tucker’s return. His body and sexy smile appeared in the doorframe holding treats from Ida’s.
“Hey, Han. I’ll have to call you back.”
“Don’t bother. We’ll talk when I get there. I’m about to walk into a meeting. Which, by the way, I’m only attending because you’ve decided to become Annie Oakley once again and leave me here to do all the work.”
I rolled my eyes. “Thanks. I’ll make it up to you.”
“Yes, you will. Over a bottle of wine when I get there. I want all the dirty details of how good that cowboy of yours is.”
I scrambled for the phone, trying to take it off speaker before Hannah said more.
“After what you told me he could do with his hands, I can only imagine how good he is with his ton—”
I punched end, hanging up on her, Tucker’s chuckle the only sound left filling the room.
He strutted cockily into the room, a smug grin on his face. “Well, that was interesting. I would’ve liked to hear the rest. Didn’t realize you told her how good I was with my hands.”
He set the bag of fresh pastries aside, taking a seat on the bed next to me. I closed my laptop before he caught sight of the email, otherwise welcoming his invasion. His body was already overwhelming me, a deep desire tugging in the pit of my belly, a visceral reaction.
“I’m sure you would. And I only told her about how good you were at remodeling the house. So get that cocky smirk off your face.”
He braced his arms on each side of me, leaning in to kiss my neck, eliciting a raspy moan from me. “I guess I should spend the morning giving you plenty of details to tell her later.”
“Probably a good idea. I wouldn’t want to disappoint her. Or have to give you a bad review on your handiwork.”
“I am in the business of pleasing my customers.”
“I hope not all.”
“Jealous?”
“Should I be?” I evaded.
His small smile saw right through me. Words ceased on his lips as they commenced their detailed work, roaming across my body.
There was a knock on the front door, interrupting and frustrating us both.
“Damn it,” he groaned, lifting his body from mine. “The guys are here…they’re early.”
“Normally, a boss would be appreciative of that,” I teased, tugging him back down, kissing his neck some more.
“Normally, their boss isn’t trying to get laid when they show up either.” He pressed his hips between my legs, torturing us both.
“This is all your fault,” I insisted, planting my feet on the mattress, pushing my hips upward, desperate for more friction, our bodies grinding against one another like we had as horny teenagers before taking that monumental step, the memory still fresh in my mind even though it was ages ago.
He cursed under his breath with the insistent pounding on the door. I released him this time, laughing as he stood from the bed with tented jeans. There was no hiding that from his guys.
I lifted on
my elbows, with a cocky smile.
“Maybe you should go take care of the situation in your pants”—I pointed to his crotch, finger swirling—“while I get the door.”
His brows pulled together as he swept his eyes over me, giving my body a thorough inspection. “Not looking like that you won’t.”
I looked down at my matching tank and pajama shorts, my nipples like daggers in my shirt. I sighed, crawling out of the bed to grab a bra and robe. I quickly pulled on both. Now who’s the jealous one?
“Happy?” I sauntered past him.
He wrapped his arm around my waist, pulling me back to him.
“Only slightly, sweetheart. I won’t be completely happy until I’m buried between your legs once again.” His hoarse whisper danced across my skin, sending a thrill of chills down my body as he tightened the belt of my robe into a firm knot. He kissed my cheek before slapping my ass, sending me on my way.
Tucker left shortly after his guys got to work on sanding and refinishing the floors. I slipped off to the porch to weed through my emails and voicemails. I’d tried to keep up with work while I was away. Unfortunately, I was falling further and further behind the longer I stayed. When I couldn’t seem to maintain my focus any longer, I set my laptop aside, deciding to go for a ride on Apollo.
After my ride, I went into town, leaving the guys to work, needing to pick up some groceries for our pizza and paint party. As I strolled through the local Walmart, I came across a Little Mermaid sleeping bag and threw it in my cart for Lily, not even thinking twice. She’d need something to sleep on for our pajama party. The matching pajamas, slippers, and flashlight were also necessities, I convinced myself.
With my cart piled to the top with Ariel paraphernalia, pizza ingredients, popcorn, and candy, I maneuvered my overloaded basket to the checkout, paying for all said necessities. The teenage cashier dully swiped my items across the scanner as my phone rang in my purse.
Seeing Tucker’s name on the phone set the butterflies in my stomach in flight.
“Hey.”
“Hey. I was just calling to warn you we’ll be leaving soon to head your way.”
“Oh. I’m at the store right now, so just let yourself in if you beat me there.”
“The store?”
“Yeah, I picked up a few items for tonight.”
“I could have done that for you.”
“It’s fine. I needed to get out of the house. The dust from all the sanding was making it hard to breathe.”
“Sorry about that. They said they finished it all today, so all that’s left is the staining tomorrow.”
“It’s not a problem. I know it will all be worth it when it’s over.”
“Right…well, I should get Lily loaded in the car. See ya soon.”
“Can’t wait.”
By the time I arrived home, Tucker and Lily had already made it and let themselves in. Lily was spinning on the wood floor in the hallway as Tucker taped plastic down in the last room I had left to paint. It was my parents’ master bedroom. One I avoided for the most part of my stay.
“She’s here!” Lily screamed as she ran toward me down the hall, her arms hugging me tightly. I hugged her back, unable to contain my smile.
Tucker strode out of the room behind her, greeting me with a quick kiss. I felt a little awkward and nervous, returning his kiss with Lily’s head smiling up between us. I wondered if he’d explained things to her about us. And if so what he had said.
She seemed unbothered by our affection, which put me a little more at ease.
“When can we start painting?” She tugged at my hand anxiously.
I looked from one set of green eyes to the other, both pairs quickly becoming important to me.
“I just need to finish unloading the groceries and then I’ll be ready.”
After we all unloaded the car, and I showered Lily with her gifts, we got down to work on painting the final room of the house. Tucker had brought one of his work shirts to drape over Lily’s clothes. It swallowed her whole, the sleeves continually falling down her arms as she struggled to keep them out of her way. I finally took some string I had and tied them up at her shoulders with a bow.
Tucker taught her how to wet the mini paint roller he brought along, giving her tips on how to properly paint the wall to ensure good coverage. Ones she ignored, painting with her own style and flair instead.
He stepped away from Lily, moving to stand behind me, his arms coming around me as he rested his chin on my shoulder. The two of us stood, watching the little paint devil before us as she sang a tune, wetting her roller and dripping globs of paint down the wall. She was lost in her own happy, little world I was envious of.
“You know you’re gonna have to repaint everything she does,” he insisted, teasing.
“You mean you will have to repaint.” I teased back, twisting my head to look at his smiling face.
He gave me a peck on the mouth in response, releasing me to pick up his own roller. He set himself up to work side by side with his niece, catching and smoothing out her drippings.
I admired his patience with her. Never reprimanding or criticizing her as she worked. He gave her nothing but support and encouragement no matter what it was she was doing. The same way he had me our whole lives.
I shook myself from the daydream I was in and got to work, picking up the last roller and finding a spot on the wall.
Making homemade pizzas with Lily proved to be just as messy as painting with Lily. The girl was a tornado with the toppings—cheese and pepperonis strewn everywhere with smudges of marinara sauce on every surface her grubby hands could reach. I wouldn’t have it any other way. The house hadn’t felt this alive with joy and happiness since I was her age.
My mother’s words filled my mind as the three of us sat on the palette of blankets and pillows in the middle of the living room floor, playing games as we waited for the pizzas to bake.
…build new memories. Happy ones. Ones that outweigh the bad. Give it and yourself the life you both deserve…
“Lottie.” Lily’s voice interrupted my thoughts.
“Huh?”
“It’s your turn,” she directed, waiting for me to roll the dice. Both her and Tucker’s eyes were on me—hers unaware, his concerned.
“Oh. Sorry.” I picked up the dice just as the timer on the oven went off. “Hold that thought.” I set the dice down, jumping to my feet. “Pizza’s ready.”
“I’ll get it. You play,” Tucker offered as he shifted to stand.
“No. I got it!” I hollered, leaving the room quickly, needing a moment to myself, the surrounding air too thick with emotion and heavy with hope for me to remain in there.
I turned off the timer, pulling the pizzas from the oven and setting them atop the stove. Laying the hot pads aside, I tightened my grip on the edge of the sink, looking out the kitchen window. The sun had already set and the stars and moon were high and bright in the sky.
“Everything okay?”
Tucker’s body molding around me, hadn’t even startled me. My body hummed with excitement from just his presence in the same room. His voice might as well have been his tongue between my legs the way my body responded.
I nodded silently, tilting my head back to rest against his shoulder, squeezing his arms tighter around me. I couldn’t give him any more of a response. My mind volleying with indecision and confusion, all the choices I needed to make still unclear.
He kissed the top of my head, releasing me when we heard Lily’s feet running in to join us. Tucker sliced and served up the pizza on some paper plates. As if his life depended on it, he constantly found ways to keep his hands on me while we ate.
The seconds they weren’t on me, I felt as if maybe my life did depend on it. He was my tether. The only thing holding me to this world, giving me hope for a future. The only thing keeping me in Billingsley.
The three of us cuddled in my bed with the TV and a DVD player setup on a makeshift stand. Lily wore her pajama
s I’d gotten her, snuggling down under the blankets between us with her Ragged Anne doll. Tucker and I exchanged silent looks and flirtations as we watched the kid friendly movie they brought along.
Once Lily had fallen asleep, we shut off the TV and tiptoed out of the room, closing the door softly behind us.
We both worked silently and comfortably alongside each other, cleaning up and putting things away in the kitchen. I wiped down the last bit of counter covered in pizza sauce.
Tucker moved behind me, his mouth landing on the bare skin of my shoulder. A whisper of a kiss, but still potent. He nudged my hips with his hands, demanding me to spin. I turned, my eyes locked with his for a moment until he began his delicious meanderings once again.
“This is wrong.” I panted as he reached under my shirt, unclasping my bra, kissing down my neck and along my collarbone, his other hand kneading one of my breasts.
“Hush, baby. We don’t want to wake Lily.” His lips continued their descent.
He latched onto my hips, lifting me upward, so I sat on the edge of the cold granite counter, my legs spread wide as he stepped between them. His calloused hands ghosted up the skin on my thighs, making their way under my skirt and inside my panties. My head fell back with a moan as his fingers rubbed and then entered my wet folds.
“Tucker.” I clung to his shoulders. I wasn’t sure if I was begging him to stop or continue. Desperate, yet concerned about being discovered by Lily.
“Relax, babe,” he demanded.
My head tilted forward, my lips connecting with his as I stole what I needed from him, the tension leaving my body with my release.
As I came down from my high, he tugged my panties down my legs, discarding them to the ground. He helped me from the counter, spinning me to face away from him, his lips at my ear, one hand between my legs again as the other pressed against my back, gently bending me forward.
Redeeming Lottie Page 16