by Margaret Way
‘That’s obvious!’ Ingo paused at the door of the first aid room, flicking on the light.
‘Well, of course you don’t give a damn.‘ Genny said, walking in and leaning back against the table.
‘You’re right about that! For myself I’d shoot Flick off on a one-way rocket to Mars.’
‘Doubtless she’s worn you down too,’ she returned. ‘You’ll just have to forgive me if I feel a little sick. I love my mother-she’s the only mother I’ve got. I don’t want her to fly off to the other side of the world, let alone Mars. ‘
‘Come over here to the basin. ‘ he said, ignoring her tragic face. ‘Cheer up, baby, I just might permit you to visit her for the occasional holiday.’
She held out her hand to him, shuddering. ‘Nothing is ever going to be the same again.’
‘I sincerely hope not. The past hasn’t exactly been a ball game. That’s it-hold your hand away from your dress. I wouldn’t like to see it spoiled, neither would Dave. He’s been devouring you for the past hour.
It’s quite put my teeth on edge. I’m even considering establishing my true position beyond doubt.’
‘And what’s that?’ she asked, grimacing as he wound a Band-aid around her finger.
‘Oh, that I’m your dreadful barbaric cousin and I won’t even let you talk to another man.’
‘I‘m only sorry he’s not bigger than you,’ she said.
‘Oh? Would you like to see me get a punch in the nose? It won’t happen.’
‘I know,’ agreed Genny, ‘Dave’s unlikely to attack you anyway. I wouldn’t know about Sally. Oh, what am I going to do? I don’t think I can go back to the dinner table.’
‘Yes, you can!’ he said, giving her a challenging look. ‘You may feel a little sick as you say, but you can take it on the chin quite as well as I can. Can’t you, Giannina?’ He turned her face up to him, looking down at her.
Her lids fell. ‘No, I can’t!’ she said distractedly. ‘I want to cry my eyes out, all huddled in a ball.’
‘I’ll join you.’
‘That’s good to know.’ She fell forward, resting her head against him, feeling his arms link about her waist. ‘I can’t take it. I can’t!’
‘Then go with her.’
‘I‘m tired of living with my mother’s husbands!’ she groaned.
‘Maybe you’d sleep better with one of your own.’
‘Not for years yet!’
‘Want to bet?’
She took no account of his mocking words, turning her head along his chest. ‘Just keep holding me.
Sometimes you frighten me so much it’s pitiful, and other times I feel there’s no safer place in this world than right here in your arms.’
‘Well!’ he jeered softly, his laughing breath stirring the tips of her curls, his arms closed about her lean and strong. ‘That couldn’t have been easy for you to admit!’
She nodded. ‘Shocks can be disarming.’
‘Can’t they! Especially for girls like you. We can’t stay here, Giannina. Flick’s longing to fill us in with the rest of her plans. No doubt.a civil ceremony in the garden at sunset. What could be more romantic than that?’
‘Oh, shut up.’
‘Turn your face up. I want to see if you’ve got your colour back.’
She lifted her head, feeling as fragile as an invalid. ‘It’s going to be an ordeal. Dear God, let her be doing the right thing. ‘
Ingo grunted. ‘If we’ve got to speak of ordeals, it’s been very trying watching Dave fighting to keep his hands off you. I’d have expected a doctor to have more control.’
‘Has he really?’ She looked up at him in a mystified way because he had spoken a little shortly.
‘Didn’t I warn you about my jealous streak?’
‘I can’t accept you’d apply it to me.’
He gave a savage little growl, akin to resignation. ‘For a clever girl you’re not exactly blessed with the good old-fashioned womanly perceptions. In fact I’m certain you don’t know what being a woman is all about. All your gifts are natural, a handout from the Good Fairy. Unworked on. You’re as unconscious of yourself as when you were ten years old. You don’t even recognise flirtation. Sarah is more of a vamp than you are. ‘
‘Why should that incite you to rage?’ she asked.
‘Who’s raging? You’ll know about it when I do. We’ll both go up in a blue flame. Oh, come quickly!’ he groaned. ‘I wonder why I start these conversations!’
Gentry did her best, but the rest of the night seemed frightful, the champagne not helping, not that she was over-fond of it anyway. It seemed incredible to her that yet another man had captured Flick’s heart; worse still to realise that Flick was fully prepared to leave her. In fact she felt just like a parent whose favourite daughter just announced she had every intention of settling down in Africa. Though he had not been prepared in advance, Ingo’s imaginative suggestion for a civil ceremony in the garden coincided with Felicity’s dearest wish, and not at some future date but as soon as possible; Dan had assured her that she didn’t have to bother her pretty little head about anything from that day forward. The house, the furniture, her now no-account clothes, could go up in flames.
Felicity, it now seemed, couldn’t wait to rearrange her life with the Rio Grande somewhere in sight. It was not the first time Gentry had felt desperately hurt by her mother, but she accepted that her mother was quite free to lead her own life. Suddenly she could stand no more of it, and got tip from the table without an èxcuse me’ feeling stupidly and unnecessarily sentimental in the light of Felicity’s shining new happiness. Inside her room she locked her door carefully, but no one came near her, leaving her alone with her hurt. By the morning she would be over the worst of it until the actual day of the wedding.
Even as she thought about it her eyes filled with tears and she flung herself down on the bed, telling herself that mothers and daughters separated every day. Probably in six months’ time Flick wouldn’t even remember her.
CHAPTER SEVEN
Genny didn’t know what time it was, she only knew her head was pounding. Exhausted by a storm of feelings, she had somehow fallen off to sleep. Inertly she lay there for a moment staring up at the floral print of the bed canopy, then she slipped off the bed, padded to the dressing table and looked for her watch. There was a very old English grandfather clock right outside her door and two nineteenth-century wall clocks in her room, but none of them were concerned with accuracy as they gracefully ticked away at their own rate, dreaming of distant times and places.
It was well after midnight. Genny could scarcely believe it. She put her watch down with a gentle thump, her hand moving to the curve of her shoulder, rubbing it where the thin strap of her dress had cut into the soft skin. She really should have taken her dress off, but she hadn’t expected sleep to rise up and engulf her. Night after night for the past weeks her mind had been a mad spinning top, throwing off all the events of the day and things from the past best not remembered or brooded over.
At least she hadn’t left the chandelier blazing, only the winged companion bronze figures, male and female, that each held a bright electric flame aloft. She rarely suffered from headaches, but she had a bad one now. She caught sight of herself in the mirror and held her own gaze rebelliously. Obviously she had failed to take it on the chin in true Faulkner tradition. Now she had plunged them all into differing degrees of embarrassment. All except Ingo, who was impervious to the ordinary prevailing emotions. He would only be irritated. It was Dan she had really deprived of the pleasure of his big moment, probably tarnishing his memory of it for ever. Poor Dan. If he was to be believed, and intinctively Genny did believe him, this was his first love. It hadn’t really been fair to race away from the table like that, yet she doubted even now if she could have stayed there. If only Flick had told her when they were alone. She would have been glad of that-glad of a few moments to collect herself in private, unexposed to everyone’s eyes. Flick, smiling, showing her shining little teeth, de
licate high cheekbones flushed. Flick, her mother.
Genny stared sightlessly into the fireplace, filled in the summer time with a magnificent brass jardiniere containing various beautiful indoor plants. This week it was the gorgeous hippeastrum lilies, all their spectacular large flowers open. She would have to get something for her headache. She didn’t think she could suffer it unaided. Comforting sleep would be impossible from now on. She felt wide awake and back to her profound depression. One never felt closer to a loved one than when they were going away.
Flick could do just as she liked, and Genny wished her nothing but a lifetime of happiness; still the pain wouldn’t go away.
Wall brackets lent the long gallery a dim glow. Faulkner men and women stared down from their gilded frames. The lights were always left on when there were guests in the house who were unfamiliar with switches and the size of the place. Genny made her way along it very stealthily though her stockinged feet made no sound at all, not even a whisper. She couldn’t have borne to see anyone. She almost ran down the stairs, hugging the wall, then paused uncertainly just outside the library. Someone was moving about. Her heart gave a dismal lunge and she moved back under the staircase and into the shadows. She didn’t want to see anyone. Anyone! She put her hands over her face and when she raised it again, an arm had closed about her.
‘I suppose you know I thought you were a ghost?’ Ingo swore so softly it was almost inaudible.
‘Did I frighten you?’
‘No. It’s unforgivable, I know, but I’m not frightened of ghosts either. Just a momentary freezing shock.
Come on out of there, you ridiculous child. It’s well after midnight and you’re still in your dress. What’s the problem?’
‘I have the most appalling headache,’ she confessed.
‘I‘m not surprised. Apart from our news flash, you drank far more than you’re used to. Don’t let’s wake the rest of the household, for God’s sake. I couldn’t stand it. Go into the study. I’ll bring you a couple of tablets.’
‘God bless you! ‘ she said wryly, walking towards the glimmering light.
The study door was open, the tall standard lamb illuminating the leather jackets of the books in the ceiling-high wooden shelves. It was a very inviting sort of a room. She had always liked it, its proportions reduced by its masculine colour scheme and its deep comfortable furnishings. She wandered across to the sofa upholstered in a dark plaid and sank down on to it, leaning her head back and closing her eyes. If Ingo didn’t mind, she just might sleep there, and as she thought that, she arranged two plump cushions under her elbow. With a little help from the tablets, she could get a few more hours’ sleep and be ready to apologise in the morning for her mysterious behaviour. Her mother would accept it, her face full of genuine loving concern. It was truly strange, the different levels of loving, the deeps and the shallows.
Ingo, coming back into the room, looked down at her small, still face. It had on it an expression of faint mystic revelation that made him smile when he didn’t feel in the least like smiling. ‘Here, take these, Genny.‘ he said, bending over her.
Her eyes flew open and she took the tablets from him, letting him hold the glass. ‘You said I could take it on the chin.’
‘I was wrong,’ he admitted.
‘There’s no need to rub it in. Where have you been? You’ve changed your clothes.’
‘My dear child,’ he said rather wearily, ‘while you’ve been crying your heart out and sleeping like an exhausted child, I’ve been putting a fire out.’
‘Where?’ she said urgently.
‘One of the saddle sheds. Someone was careless, but they’ll hear about that in the morning.’
‘But I never heard a thing!’ she said disbelievingly.
‘Not a sound. I’m sorry. ‘
‘Why? What would you have done? Fight right along with me?’
‘Did it do any damage?’
‘It could have done. A good thing Spook is always roaming around.’
‘Doesn’t he ever sleep?’ she queried.
‘I understand he doesn’t need it. But he does do a good day’s work, that’s all that matters. Remind me to get him some of that special pipe tobacco. Swallow those, will you, instead of looking at me big-eyed.’
Genny accepted the glass of water humbly, washing the rather large tablets down, her face relaxing after she had done so as though relief was guaranteed. ‘I‘m going to spend the night here. All right with you?’
‘I wonder,’ he murmured.
‘I suppose Dan was upset?’ she pursued.
‘Yes, he was. For a man in middle life, Dan is as excited as a boy. It’s touching, really.’
‘And Flick?’
‘Flick thinks you’re entitled to a few tears. You know, routine!’
‘You’re a sarcastic devil! Remember when she told us she was going to marry Hughie?’
‘I recall your pushing a chair over then, too.’
‘So I’m making a fuss about nothing?’
‘I suppose that’s what it is, considering. You’ve had plenty of experience,’ he pointed out.
‘And just as Evvy was going on about sterling qualities. I feel I’ve let the team down.’
His brilliant eyes were moving over her face, and her slight graceful body. ‘Evvy, my lamb, is on your side. She always has been. Besides, she’s not in the least romantic. ‘
‘How do you know?’
‘I’d offend you if I told you.’
‘She has a jumble of letters in a lacquer box in her room. Could they be love letters? You don’t know everything.’
‘Actually they’re the daily dictates Grandfather sent her on his trips home to England.’
‘Oh no. ‘
‘Oh yes.’
‘Poor Evvy. Aren’t we all dominated?’ she asked cheerlessly. ‘Look up there at Uncle Marc!’ Her glance darted towards the big portrait of Ingo’s father.
Ingo didn’t turn his head. ‘What are you trying to say, little captive?’
‘Something foolish, probably. You’re very much like him-relentless, I guess it is. One-track.’
‘And you want to change me?’
‘At least about one thing. Now you’re angry.’
‘How do you know?’
‘I can tell by your eyes. They shoot little sparks. Tell me, how did you all part tonight?’
‘Properly!’ he said, looking down his straight nose at her. ‘About half-past ten. Naturally Dave was upset to lose your company, but then it wasn’t offered. Such a pity he can’t stay for the wedding. Flick asked him, but hospital rules, you know. He has to get back.’
‘I don’t want to talk about it.’ Genny snatched up another cushion and hid her head in it, curling her legs under her and drawing right back to one corner of the sofa.
‘Then it’s going to be quite a struggle. Evv won’t talk about it either, and I’m damned if I’m going to take time off to arrange any ceremony.’
‘I said stogy.’
‘Who are you giving orders to?’ He dropped down to the sofa beside her, his touch far from gentle.
She shook her head helplessly, a little unnerved. ‘How’s the headache?’ he asked abruptly.
‘It’s a little better-and you don’t have to speak so sharply.’
‘Oh, but I do. So don’t go trying to pick a quarrel.’
‘It’s too late for that,’ she said, turning her head around, her glinting curls ruffled.
‘So it is. Come here to me, Genny.’
‘So you can tell me what to do?’ Resignation edged her soft wail. ‘Don’t worry, I’ll arrange it. You’re paying, of course. Really, you know, Trish had a point.’
‘Come here!’ he said forcibly and lifted her with almost casual strength right into his arms. ‘It looks as if I’m running out of patience.’
‘What’s it feel like?’
‘Violent,’ he snapped.
She lifted her hand and touched Ingo’s face, her fingertips trac
ing the curve of his mouth, her feelings now so intense, so naked that they must have been shining out of her eyes. ‘Life would be impossible without you, violent or not.’
‘And intolerable with me? That’s my impression.’
‘You’re a very hard man!’
‘Sure.’ His beautiful mouth twisted. ‘I can dispense with everyone. Except you.’
‘Why, why am I so important?’ She spoke softly but intensely, her dark eyes searching his face.
‘You’ve got a tenacious hold on me, Genny. Infiltration from your earliest days. You shouldn’t really have come down, you know. The rest of the world seems far removed from me right this minute.’
His low voice, dark and faintly mocking, filled her with flame. ‘What do you want from me?’
‘So help me, more than you seem able to give. Where’s the fright in your eyes? I don’t see it.’
‘It’s not there,’ she said softly.
‘It should be.’
Her head was tilted back over his arm, her shoulder curving to the palm of his hand. ‘Love me, please, Ingo. Love me.’
She could feel the tautness in him, his brilliant eyes sweeping her face. ‘I don’t think you know how deep my feelings go. I can’t love you as I want to without taking you completely. ‘
She looked back at him a little breathless. ‘I didn’t know you felt like that.’
‘Don’t be such a little fool. You said yourself I’m capable of anything.’
‘But I want you to!’ she cried, with the shocking realisation that it was true. ‘I don’t care!’
‘But I do. I care.’
‘Oh, Ingo, let me stay here!’ She drew down his head inexorably, her mouth lifting to meet his, parted, her dark eyes so ardent and so eager that an escape route was closed and he lowered his head, his mouth closing over hers with such hunger that it fully aroused her to her own desperate desires. She couldn’t have been nearer to him as surrender swept over her in a blinding, drowning rush, driving her past all thought of discretion or danger, the age-old primitive longings powerfully asserting themselves, satiated only in true culmination. All these deep-running yearnings were only to give her whole person to this one man she loved. She couldn’t even attempt to deny him.