by Savanna Grey
Chapter Thirteen
Thursday rolled in gray and rainy. Olivia’s mood seemed to be a match to the weather. When Emma picked her up from her friend Amy’s house shortly after lunch, she was whiny and irritable.
She pouted the entire ride home. When Emma asked her if she had fun at Amy’s, her response surprised her. “Not really.” That surprised Emma. Olivia and Amy were close friends and had many sleepovers. What had happened to make Olivia so upset this morning?
“Did you and Amy have an argument about something?” Emma inquired.
They entered the house and shed raincoats. Tucker greeted them at the door barking to them in greeting. Olivia practically stomped her feet. “NO!” she practically shouted. “I just don’t like going to her stupid house, and I don’t want to go back.” Olivia proceeded to run up the stairs and slam her bedroom door.
Emma stood rooted to the spot, shocked at Olivia’s outburst. What in the world had just happened?
Hanging the coats in the foyer closet, she heard Jack’s footsteps coming toward her. “What was the commotion about?” he asked as he reached her. He noticed the confusion on her face. She squatted down and loved on Tucker before turning back to Jack.
“I have no idea. When I picked Olivia up, she was in a foul mood. I thought maybe it was just from being up late or not sleeping well, but it is apparently something else. This isn’t her normal behavior, even when she’s angry. This is something more. I asked if she and Amy had an argument, but she said they didn’t. Guess I’ll go try and find out what’s really going on.”
“I’ll come with you.” Emma wondered if he thought she couldn’t handle it, but realized that he was truly concerned about his niece.
“Let’s go.” He clasped his hand in hers as a show of support. The warmth of his hand in hers felt good after coming in from the chilly rain. She smiled at him and said, “I’m sure this will be the first of many moods to get to the bottom of.”
Jack felt like he’d been sucker-punched. He knew what being Olivia’s guardian meant, but realization of what the responsibility truly entailed hadn’t completely set in. He was expecting a lot from Emma to handle the day-to-day when he would only be around on weekends when he wasn’t working. She said she didn’t mind and wanted to be here for Olivia, but how fair was it to her to take on the brunt of the responsibility. Guilt seeped in deeper.
Reaching Olivia’s bedroom door, Emma rapped lightly and opened the door. “Olivia, honey, can I come in?” The blinds were closed. Emma’s eyes had to adjust to the dimly lit room. She found Olivia on her bed, face buried in her pillows crying. Alarm surged through Emma.
She rushed over the bed, trying to remain calm as to not agitate Olivia more. “Liv, honey, what is it? What is wrong? What has you so upset today?”
“Go away.” Olivia muttered into her pillows.
“No, I’m not going away until you turn over and talk to me. I can’t understand what has upset you unless you tell me, sweetheart.” Emma stroked her back lovingly, trying to soothe the child.
“Come on, honey. You know you can tell me anything.” Several more minutes ticked by as Jack watched from the doorway, unsure of what to do or say. He shifted from foot to foot, feeling helpless.
Olivia’s crying quieted, her hiccupping signaling her attempt to calm down. Emma grabbed several tissues from the nightstand. “Roll over, Liv and wipe your eyes. I’ve got tissue. Let me see that beautiful face.”
The child complied. She rolled to her side peering up at Emma with tear-stained cheeks and sullen eyes. Emma dried her cheeks and helped her sit up; Olivia crossed her legs Indian-style.
“Alright, spill it. What’s going on?” Emma asked again gently probing.
Sniffling and taking a deep breath, Olivia softly said, “I don’t like it at Amy’s house anymore.” and bowed her head.
“Okay. Can you tell me why you don’t like it? Amy’s one of your closest friends, Liv. What’s different now that you don’t like it over there anymore?” Emma couldn’t imagine what had happened. She knew at this small age, any little thing could seem like the end of the world, but she hadn’t been prepared for Olivia’s answer.
“Because she has a mom and dad, and I don’t.” Olivia said flatly, her sniffling increasing. She was fighting back more tears.
Emma felt like she’d been smacked. Hard. How was she supposed to respond to that? She knew they’d be confronted with various situations that would trigger Olivia’s grief, but that didn’t help prepare her for the reality of it.
“So, are you telling me that being over at Amy’s house with her and her parent’s upset you because you don’t have your mom and dad here with you?” Emma reached out to hold Olivia’s hands.
“I want my mom and dad too. It’s not fair. Why aren’t they here? Why did they leave me? Now I don’t have a mom and dad anymore.” she cried, Emma gathering her against her.
Tears streamed down Emma’s face, her heart breaking for this beautiful little girl and the loss she was suffering. “You’re right, Liv. It’s not fair. I can’t explain to you why this happened, but I can tell you that your mom and dad didn’t have a choice. They would never have wanted to leave you, but accidents happen. We can’t control that. I know it doesn’t help you right now, but I do know that your mom and dad will never leave you.” Emma grasped Olivia’s forearms setting her back to look directly at her.
She placed her hand over Olivia’s heart. “They’ll always be a part of you, right here in your heart, and I am certain that they are both watching over you.”
“But I can’t see them or talk to them. I want my mommy and daddy, Aunt Emma.”
She gathered her back against her, hugging her tightly, looking at Jack over the top of Olivia’s head. His face was stoic, and he looked like he was in pain.
“I have an idea, Olivia. You know even though you can’t see your mom and dad, you can still talk to them and share things with them. They can’t answer you back, but they will know.”
Olivia looked up from being tucked under Emma’s arm. “How can I do that?” she asked, curiosity shining.
“Well, there are two things really. How about you start writing about your day in a journal at night before you go to bed. It will be just between you and your parents. You can tell them whatever you like.” Emma watched Olivia contemplating the idea. “I like to write.” Olivia said quietly.
“I know you do, sweetheart. You know what else you could do? You could write a note to them, attach it to balloons and release them. I’m sure the angels will catch them and deliver the note to your mom and dad. That’s only if you want to, Olivia.”
Olivia jumped off the bed, clapping her hands together. “Can we do it now? Pleeeeease!”
“Of course we can. You have pencil and paper, right? You can start writing your note to them, and I’ll bet Uncle Jack will help with any words you need help with, won’t you?” Emma glanced over to Jack, and he walked from the doorway over to Olivia. Crouching down to her eye level, he said, “You bet I will.” He couldn’t resist pulling her to him for a bear hug. He was so tightly wound from watching the child in such an emotional state.
“Uncle Jack, you’re squashing me!” Olivia wiggled free. “I’m going to use my purple paper cuz that’s mommy’s favorite color. I’ll use the blue crayon for daddy. They’ll like that.” Just like that her mood transitioned to a happier place, leaving Jack and Emma feeling like they’d just gotten off a ride that had left them nauseous.
As Olivia ran downstairs to gather her supplies from her desk in the family room, Jack and Emma slid to the bedroom floor, both expelling breaths they hadn’t realized they been holding.
“How’d you do that?” Jack asked quietly in awe of how Emma had handled the situation.
“What?” She stared up at Jack, sitting just a few inches from her on Olivia’s bedroom floor. “I just tried to understand what she was upset about and let her find an outlet to resolve it. I can’t fix it for her, but I can help her wor
k through it.”
Jack cupped her face with both hands. Emma looked back questioningly. “You’re amazing, you know that?” he said as he lowered his head capturing her lips in his for a tender kiss.
“Uncle Jack likes Aunt Emma. Uncle Jack like Aunt Emma.” sang Olivia from the bedroom door. They hadn’t heard her come back up the stairs. Not surprising as the stairs were carpeted.
Jack pressed his forehead to Emma’s. “We’ve been discovered.” he whispered sheepishly. Emma couldn’t help but chuckle. “I guess so.” She couldn’t help but feel a slight trepidation creep up her spine. Olivia could misread the entire situation. She was already confused. The last thing Emma wanted was to create more issues.
“Your uncle was thanking me for helping him with something, Liv. No big deal.” She planted a quick kiss to Jack’s forehead and stood, hoping she’d played it off enough for Olivia to move on. Sometimes kids latched on to something and wouldn’t let it go. “Now, I am going to run to the store and pick up some balloons. I believe you have some cards to write.”
“How about you set up at the breakfast bar and Uncle Jack can help you. I’ll be back in about twenty minutes. I know Dopkin’s Grocery will have just what we need.” Dopkin’s was a local grocer that carried a small floral department and party needs. She’d purchased many a balloon, card and flowers there previously.
“I’ll see you two shortly, and Liv, take your time and tell your mom and dad how you feel, okay? It will be good for you, and they’ll want to know.” Nodding at Jack, she blew Olivia a kiss and headed out.
“Well, princess, guess it’s just you and me.” Olivia placed her little soft hand in Jack’s as they walked down the stairs.
Olivia sat quietly writing, only asking Jack for help with a few words, her crooked handwriting filling up the purple paper. She’d asked for help to spell the word understand and aggravate. She might not know how to spell them, but Olivia had always had a larger vocabulary than most kids her age. Watching the concentration on her heart-shaped face tugged on something in his chest. It was almost painful.
By the time Emma walked back into the house, Olivia was impatiently waiting, her notes complete to her parents. She’d written one to her dad and one to her mom. Emma held six white balloons with various ribbons tied to them.
“How’d it go? Did you finish them?” she asked cheerfully. She thought this was a therapeutic outlet for Olivia to express her innermost feelings without having to tell someone out loud until she wanted to. She hoped it helped.
“I’m done.” Olivia said as Emma entered the kitchen. “Now what do we do?” Olivia jumped down from the bar stool to stand in front of Emma eager to complete the task.
“Well, we need to hole-punch an envelope and put the notes in them. Then we tie the notes to the ribbons on the balloons. Let’s do that while Uncle Jack keeps on eye on the balloons. I think there is a hole-punch in the office. Come on.” Emma led Olivia to the office where they completed the task and returned to the kitchen.
“Look, he didn’t let them get away.” Emma praised Jack to Olivia. “Good job, Uncle Jack.” He couldn’t keep from expressing a cheesy grin.
“Now we tie the notes with ribbon and carry them outside to release them. I thought maybe we could walk down to the dock and release them there. That way there is wide-open space for them to float up and away. What do you say? Does that sound like a good plan, Liv?”
“Oh, yes it does. That way the balloons won’t get stuck in a tree.” She was entirely too logical for a seven-year-old.
“Great! Let’s go.” All three walked out the back door and followed the path down to the dock. The gentle breeze tugged at the balloons Jack carried.
“Don’t let go, Uncle Jack.” Olivia pleaded. “Not to worry, honey. I’ve got ’em.” he assured her.
The dock was large and housed several chairs and a bench to sit on. Emma squatted down in front of Olivia. “I tell you what. Uncle Jack and I will sit over here on the bench while you release the balloons. Then maybe you would like to sit in one of the chairs and talk to your mom and dad for a few minutes. Would you like to do that? You could tell them about the note and that you will send them more on occasion, whenever you want to, Liv.”
Olivia hugged Emma seeking reassurance. The sadness in her eyes was replaced with hope as she took the balloons from Jack. “Okay. You’ve got this. Just let them go whenever you’re ready. We’ll be right over here.”
Jack took Emma’s hand and sat with her on the small wrought iron bench. They watched and waited, both in their own internal conversations with Dana and Jeff.
Olivia stood stock still looking out over the water. Five minutes passed before she raised her face to the sky and said, “These are for you mommy and daddy. I hope the angels deliver them to you.” and she released the balloons. She sat in a nearby chair silently watching the wind carry them away, floating higher and higher over the water until they were but a tiny spec visible in the sky.
Then they were gone. The clouds had swallowed them up.
“Look, Aunt Emma and Uncle Jack. The angels must have taken them. They floated right up to that cloud.” Olivia seemed pleased with the task. “I hope mommy is proud of my spelling. She always made me practice my writing.”
“I’m sure she will be, Liv. No doubt in my mind.” They headed back up to the house. Jack was silent as Olivia skipped ahead of them.
“Thank You.” He had stopped walking and turned to Emma. She, in turn, had stopped as well. “Jack, you don’t have to thank me every time I do something for Olivia. It’s just part of being there for her and being her guardian.” she replied.
He just stared at her as if he were at a loss. He never would have come up with the things Emma had today. His would have been empty words, not helping her to express anything. He was ill-equipped to handle this.
“Jack, I’ve been working with children for eight years. I’ve seen a lot of things and been through lots of training. Just because I have these ideas to try and help doesn’t mean they will work. Every child is different. It will get easier for you as time goes by as well. It’s all just brand new for you. Don’t be so hard on yourself. Follow your instincts. Trust yourself to do the right thing, and you will.”
She reached up on tiptoe as she always had to and kissed his cheek. “Come on. I had a casserole in the fridge prepared for you and Olivia tonight. Remember it’s my night out with the girls at the diner. That’s my therapy.” she told him laughingly.
“Plus it will give you and Liv some quality time alone without my interference.” Jack wasn’t sold on the fact that was a good thing. He liked her interference.
Chapter Fourteen
Emma walked into the diner with thirty seconds to spare. Whew! Right on time.
She felt drained; today’s events with Olivia had taken a toll on her energy repository. Kathryn, Sydney and Melanie were all already seated at the booth.
“Am I in an alternate universe where my usually always late friends are reversed. That’s the second week in a row, Kat. You’re freaking me out a little bit.” Emma teased.
“Oh, you score sex with the hot uncle and feel inclined to point me out.” Kathryn grumbled.
Emma knew she was poking at her, but she stilled blushed a thousand shades of pink.
She hadn’t said a word to any of them. How could they possibly know? “Kat! Why would you say such a thing, for Pete’s sake, especially in a diner full of people?” Well, it wasn’t that full, but still.
“Come on, Em. Even I can see your sex glow.” Sydney commented nonchalantly.
“Sex glow? What?” Emma was mortified. They’d had plenty of conversations about sex, but they were usually talking about Kathryn’s adventures or the lack thereof pertaining to the rest of them.
“Maybe this would be a good night to move to the back.” Melanie piped in, seeing where this conversation was headed. She imagined Emma didn’t want her personal business spread all over town, and with certain individuals eati
ng dinner in the diner, it wouldn’t take long for the grapevine to flow.
“Good idea.” agreed Sydney. The three of them followed Mel behind the counter, through the kitchen doors to an office in the back that held a table that was just like the ones in the diner, specifically for them. Whenever they had serious things to discuss or needed to be out of earshot, this is where they would come. They liked eating in the diner, the atmosphere was bright and open. It was comfortable, but sometimes, a girl just needed some privacy.
“Leave it to Kat to possess sex radar.” Emma mumbled under her breath, but Kat heard her.
“Ah ha! You did have sex with hot uncle, what’s his name again?” Kat searched her memory. She was terrible at remembering people’s names. That’s why she carried a notepad everywhere with her. “Jack! That’s his name.”
“How old are you?” Emma asked sarcastically. She’d planned on telling them what had happened between her and Jack, but now that Kat had jumped on her about it, she wasn’t so sure she wanted to talk about it.
Sydney contemplated the situation, arching her eyebrows in surprise. Maybe it wasn’t such a surprise, given people act out in grief for comfort all the time. Maybe things just got out of hand. That had to be the case. Emma wasn’t the casual sex type of girl. If it wasn’t just grief, then something more was at play here. A few pointed questions should give some insight Sydney thought to herself.
“Is something going on between you and Jack, Emma?” Melanie very casually asked the question, but all waited with bated breaths to hear her answer.
“If you’re asking did we sleep together, then the answer would be yes. We did.” There. She’d said it. Let the interrogation begin.
“I knew there was something going on between the two of you. It was pretty obvious at the Bottoms Up the other night, and I don’t think it was the alcohol talking either.” Kat said triumphantly.