White Piano

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White Piano Page 2

by Nicole Brossard


  – Richard Rorty, Contingency, Irony, and Solidarity

  We are made for eternity, but we do not know why.

  – Elfriede Jelinek, Jackie

  She did not want to float or swallow

  or fall from a bridge, she did not want to

  but she wanted because art,

  the water of before and after

  she walked long nights

  in the calles among the works of ech.o

  first image: vertical valour

  500centuries of liquid light

  she: arms extended torso hunched over

  a water turned toward the sky

  the colour of ink of algae

  of impossible appeasement

  warmth’s origin, July

  of all proper names in weightless state

  I vow a clarity so sharp the iris shatters

  sometimes right to Vicenza

  she came in silence

  existing with a notebook or her camera

  in the halls of archives floored in wood

  we quickly admitted an obsession we loved

  to repeat: here we live well

  under the vaulted ceiling and fresco by Titian

  from the window the canal water blind

  an encyclopedia of bridges and clouds

  bright lively beam of molecules in the light

  : water that frightens: stop moving

  at noon life tells its story in spirals of raw light

  in her eyes, smooth yet imaginary

  a cartouche of eternity she might have concealed

  in her hair and caressed

  at cocktail hour limoncello

  all eyes turn toward the horses

  we contemplate the Orient

  it will take many centuries more

  to erase the furor

  of those four horses, the copy

  when the water rises, she telephones

  the moon turns in its cone of shadow

  if I hunch down I can caress with my finger

  these images in the form of silver prints

  where sometimes a traveller dozes

  her face fingered by wind

  she says: this is devious landscape

  we will have to count our belongings

  tsunami of words

  with your palm you wanted to reverse

  fear you wanted it just

  as the vaporetto arrived

  art unfolds sketches of night

  deceptive pronoun effects

  art raises the rebellious side

  of words scolded in Emma’s head

  once again we thought of all that water fleeing

  we spoke of tables overturned

  of crimson dresses gone to pink

  under crumbling ceilings

  anyway we had to let the light in

  night vaporetto night nyx neon slow

  at five in the morning dawn entered

  slowly sank into the voice

  into the chest raising

  monochromes of identity

  when light strikes the I of sudden bereavements

  she holds it in suspension

  above the abyss in a wave of ululations

  Emma says this image is slow

  for the pink of palaces on the grand canal

  the lapping of water that aches in the skull

  this image is still too slow in the mouth

  in the end, it was enough to leave the foam alone

  along the canals listen float not searching

  any further, the inside of someone

  the narration of small absolutes

  end of November someone spoke of Chicago

  of Grant Park and of history

  that night she became crowd

  Emma crossed 3times the Ponte dell’Accademia

  she did not want to be this rivulet

  of repetition

  along a blue canal a little

  before dusk

  in the garden of a Museum or on YouTube

  filming or knocking on

  her own fibre-optic silence

  a little Casanova kissed in the Florian:

  she held her like a key in the conversation

  keeping a certain distance with her words

  so that vous-même surreptitiously broke her heart

  the universe bordered memory everywhere.

  She’d had twenty years to work back to the Erinyes

  and to the Atridae; to re-encounter dragons chimaera

  all the red of Carpaccio and the head of Holophernes

  twenty years to tame her fertility

  without hallucinating in the new world

  to adapt her heart’s rhythm

  to all the nanotears and swells of melancholy

  coffee steaming keyboard fingers

  entire days she searches

  for a link the paper the ego of echo

  she can also boast

  of paradoxes and piercings

  to recover from the water of shrinking glaciers

  from each inflection of life in the voice

  how to dig refuge in the figures of the self

  exit a hotel room

  exposed to all the winds of harmony, and the void

  she holds her hand up like some distant machine

  that might nourish her, reflect her story

  she holds it out in front, hand mask wolf

  having seen all the hanged figures

  of Goya, and the others often

  she touches on all the questions

  because an idea of happiness

  she washes the hours with words

  because flesh because one day it’ll be necessary

  to speak of meat and of happiness

  she’d had 20years to learn the slippage

  between the words women and reality

  between universe and room of one’s own

  several times her body became lodged

  in the word @space

  initiating herself into enigmas and the living womb of women

  twenty years to transcribe paragraphs of eternity

  an intimacy of inkwash in the material of the present

  all is tide night haunted

  the t-shirt with a skull

  no one had worn it

  before you that evening mingled with perfume

  it passed through the throat

  everyone had a name

  a little vibration recycled under the tongue

  while rain touched the present

  on Lido beach

  water entered the mouth

  burst of pure-blooded Lippizaners.

  Then at a gallop you bolted to brush against time

  in your chest, and joy.

  You keep your tongue young.

  a wall of images had to be confronted

  women half-buried soon stoned

  women nose cut off immense hole of darkness

  Emma wavers camera in her grasp

  from wordless suffering to the photo

  from the photo to those minutiae of story

  where you can never again make peace

  now she tied her scarf of winter and of darkness

  the words went off every which way

  why am I so burdened

  by shadow and by humanity disculpe

  repertory of fine needles stuck to immensity

  prose, she thought, form dressed in sorrow

  Story

  / I didn’t write the story, you know. It was to start in Montréal, across from Parc Lafontaine, with a woman looking out a hotel window. She’s awaiting a manuscript she’s contracted to translate in the next six months without knowing the author’s name, sex or age. And maybe without even knowing what her mother tongue was, language of childhood and of babbling, of fever, laughter and cries sealed in the invisible. The contract says a manuscript of one hundred pages written by O. R.

  I’d been promised the story, I was waiting for it. In the distance I could ma
ke out my fear. I kept the woman moving, as I do now, watching her walk in a Montréal crowd thirsty for jazz. She strolls down Jeanne Mance Street between the water fountains and the avalanche of sounds entwined in thoughts and the ­pianos of Satie, Honegger and Malipiero of Venice. Later, at nightfall, under fetish light of lipstick rouge, when we can make out shoulders and fragile napes, she’ll reappear with her intelligent face and questions for the entire planet.

  I’d been promised a story, it awaited me. Everywhere prose settled into my notebooks, into thoughts, it positioned its people, wove connections, knotted plots in my bed just before I fell asleep. It seemed able to soothe and give pleasure. I liked its seeming transparency, which compelled me to think with that little bit of cunning and stillness needed to mollify the winged silhouette of death. Then one morning, poetry resurfaced, adapting for a while to the prose that enveloped pretty much every detail in my head. Stories leaking the way water leaks, seeping into the presence or slightest burst of poetry.

  Time passed. The grammar of the everyday won’t let go. From now on, the poem absorbs the dust of prose and the very special ardour akin to the need to think in the flow of time /

  You

  ‘Around 1900, the world was as full of pianos as it is full of cars today. The ­market was saturated; people bought an instrument simply because the piano next door had become intolerable and they preferred to produce their own noise.’

  I tell you life is only good for living

  it takes dialogues, that’s all

  quivering swearing I tell you

  I’m scarcely twenty years old scarcely

  a pronoun in my solitude

  from before all the wars

  subterfuge of plural

  having all of you in my head

  creates a strange distance

  like a number that could carve

  a tactile sensation into the alphabet

  of repeatedly the same voice

  you does not really distance

  attracts sometimes if we extend both arms

  palms poised to plunge deep

  into the imagination and thorax

  you rapid worn down while traversing

  a century a catastrophe

  gibbon teeth in the night

  orality of pink dust and subtitles

  oh| my living proofs

  you know I caressed all that’s needed

  of life and sumptuous beasts

  but spread your wings once again

  and your shells of ego, all of you, take wing

  right to fine thirst and breath ribbon

  be here be this

  nocturnal figures plummeting

  between centuries and works

  know how to slow down

  or figure out how

  the inside of someone can shift

  to reign freely in the form of petals

  another day streaming

  phrases dawn-fresh without error

  Without Story

  without story, don’t touch the ashes

  1

  on a pebble the light

  does it keep pain at bay

  forever

  the threat of clenched fists

  the obsession of tomorrow

  2

  knots of habit

  we were saying speed

  invisible tears

  or the dust has ribbons

  3

  without story we repeat

  ankles, my head burns

  epidemic,

  we can only repeat my mother

  breast or I, without story we need

  the present, the light

  4

  without story no spilt wine

  nor conversation nor caress that swims

  and rosy contour around the fingers

  nor photo of you who wanted

  naked, brief and full of oxygen

  5

  without story fear rises

  together crumbles fast

  between the migrations

  wild bursts of look-at-me

  without story carpet of opacity out to infinity

  6

  without story heat of noon or face

  the abyss wells up everywhere

  it’s too fast the last breath

  7

  without story who’ll still want to lick

  the vague matter at the origin of thoughts

  the terror harpooning the body from the waist down,

  8

  without story continents dwindle

  leaving only our lives slow to become lives

  without pili-pili to reverse the pain

  in the darkness of savoir-vie

  Ultrasound

  stubborn backbone

  that chafes the depth of thoughts

  in the plupresent of fear and ecstasy

  in the simple present of our intelligent tissues

  anon a landscape that rises like an ancient beast

  flexible from throat to sex capable of flight and sudden

  plunges of inebriate blue

  the present wants the present up to the ears

  then pain marks who is present; in the distance, cicadas

  phrases unfurled 2ice without infinitive

  at the time of the best sketches of solitude

  versatile migrant pauses

  to talk no more of coffins and repetition

  laments language or quick the eyes above all

  to displace the wind, the chic distresses. No one dares

  laugh at themselves now because of fragile pronouns

  with all our being we head toward elsewhere

  to dip the alphabet in new mysteries

  simple certainty of shadow

  forever in the breast we carry a species overwhelmed

  the pain of sincere wishes exchanged in chaos

  so we clean the keyboard with our fingers

  we disperse slowly solo

  each crevice each key certain evenings

  to speak in prose to speak dissipates the drownings of origin,

  you’ve seen there are rhinestones

  breezes too I was saying who

  camouflages what

  everyone wanted to enter consciousness

  to meddle in the tiniest atoms of frenzy

  on the brink of death everyone rolled their anguish

  auto marble dice voice the same voice in a loop

  to the end of love

  *

  here I started to think again of Venice,

  of ordinary scenes from Tiepolo, life of clay

  piano and wise songs of water

  amid touch screens where

  question of instinct

  we had to mix tastes,

  languages, silks linen

  tissue of intrigues

  in the evening dig into the universe

  cascade of ubiquity

  no accumulation

  a single longevity

  maybe we’re true, maybe on the contrary we’re tomorrow

  how to know if what comes

  arises from deep in the throat from a double carnivore tumult

  from a supple wrenching into the energy of the cosmos

  maybe we’re true. The pain is still whole

  *

  nervous depth of sensations

  from the anecdote to the others, time flays

  we live in the flow of time, don’t we

  all these sofas sheets and beds where bodies are laid

  let the fires rage, breathlessness revolt

  The universe is transparent toward the future

  – Hubert Reeves, Atoms of Silence

  the power of questions

  if you sit at the piano

  amid whirlwinds designed

  to make us vanish

  what on earth was I thinking

  to touch like this

  the continuous murmur of lives compared

  our centre of gravity feverish

  the car
mine powders of sudden wind

  back then, we did not understand

  today we know

  one sex every month, a sex

  hidden in the versatile pink that swallows

  the time of petals

  don’t be afraid

  tomorrow won’t drown tomorrow

  or 2narratives gallop between the pupils

  the present erodes memory

  the very speed of absence

  knowledge shifted swallowing origin

  vocabulary and night

  each swan

  our rose endurance through the centuries

  I also noticed that we’d added

  to the heart and the everyday

  minor lacerations that mark

  without embrace or snares

  so I entered another era

  with skulls and all that in the grass

  because au revoir we loved

  nature and to lie down there

  I let go repeating

  with a body a soul and another verb.

  I’m broken: rivers music and seaways.

  I tow a dawn of eviscerated language

  stuck to the great crushed totality of history.

  I let go dying

  in the distance memory emp/tied

  of sea and wind by screens

 

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