She rubbed her slightly chapped lips together and then began digging in her purse for some ChapStick. “It takes two.”
“Not to ruin a marriage. Trust me—a determined man can do it all on his own.” She snapped her fingers. In the case of Jenny’s dad, one man could ruin a marriage. He was the type of man that inspired girl-power country songs involving shotguns and scorned women.
Harmony smeared coconut-flavored ChapStick across her lips. “I guess.” Sure, one person could mess things up, but really, there had to be a reason Sam had wanted out, gotten bored of her. She just wasn’t the kind who could keep a man’s attention. Not Sam’s—and, she was afraid, not Breck’s. He was all illusions and magic, and she was plain black clothing and a ponytail. His job was showmanship, and he’d realize that he wanted a woman who sparkled 24/7.
Jenny went back to compulsively folding shirts and straightening hangers.
Harmony continued to silently argue with her friend. The marriage counselor she’d made an appointment with in a desperate attempt to save her marriage had told her that she needed to own the parts of herself that led her to such a destructive relationship with a man who was emotionally unavailable. She’d only seen him the one time, because it was Sam’s insurance that covered the visit and he’d removed her from the policy. But she’d gotten the message loud and clear—she was broken.
No matter how many futures she pictured with Breck—and how happy they seemed—she wasn’t marriage material. He’d be better off once she left town and he could find another assistant.
She hugged the sweater to her chest. She had to go home. Home had been her watch cry since she’d found out Sam had run off. Home was the place where she’d laugh again.
Except she’d laughed with Sam. Lots. She stared at nothing while the memories rushed through her mind.
“Excuse me.” A teenager bumped into her. He’d been looking at his phone.
She righted herself. “No worries.” As if being bowled over by a six-foot-two toothpick wasn’t enough to clear her thoughts, she shook her head. No matter how good things seemed now, she’d be a fool to believe they’d turn out any different with Breck than they had with Sam. She was going home, so she’d better get her shopping done.
Chapter Thirteen
December 22
Breck
“Springtime!” Breck waved his hands, and the flash pot filled the tiny living room with smoke. When it cleared, Harmony stood there—half in and half out of the newest snowman costume, her face red. They were practicing for their last show together. Every time he thought about this being their last anything, he cringed inside.
“I can’t get out of it fast enough.” She growled at herself and shook her leg to try and free it from the small hole.
Breck squatted down, taking her calf in one hand and the costume in the other. He pulled them apart, careful not to tear the inside of the costume. The fabric on the floor was the same as the fabric inside the snowman. The idea was to get Harmony out, have her flip the costume inside out, and then have her disappear and reappear at the back of the crowd, leaving behind a stunned audience.
The idea was easier to think up than it was to execute. “We’ll get the timing down. Don’t worry.” As long as Harmony was there, everything would work out perfectly.
“Sorry.” She pressed her palm to her forehead. “I’m so frazzled.”
He smiled and pecked a kiss to her nose. “You’re cute when you’re frazzled.”
“Yeah, that’s what you say now,” she mumbled.
He saw no reason to change his mind. There were other things he wanted to discuss, but he couldn’t figure out how to step into the conversation with finesse. “How do you fight?” he asked out of the blue. He remembered his mom telling a friend once—years ago, so it was funny the memory came up now—that the key to a happy life together was having the same fighting style. He’d asked his mom later what that meant. She said that people who yell and scream aren’t offended by yelling and screaming, and people who give the silent treatment understand the need for emotional space. But if you put a yeller with someone who gives the silent treatment, then you had major problems.
Harmony dropped her hand. “What?”
“How do you fight with someone? Are you aggressive, or do you retreat?”
She looked up at the ceiling, and a whole host of memories ran across her face. It was like watching the Ghost of Christmas Past haunt her. He was sorry he asked, because there was some pain in there too. He was about to tell her not to worry about it when she answered.
“I’m aggressive. I want to find the problem and fix it. You?”
He smiled. “I like to tackle the hard issues.” He hated having silence—so much so that even discussing uncomfortable issues was preferred. Her answer gave him the courage he needed to say what was in his heart. “it’s good that we agree, because there’s something I’ve been wanting to talk to you about.”
Her hand flew to her cheek. “You’re firing me, aren’t you?”
Her look of horror was so sincere and unexpected that he laughed right out loud. “No.” He put his arm around her shoulder and guided her to the couch, sitting beside her. He picked up her hand and threaded their fingers together. “It’s quite the opposite.”
She tipped her head in curiosity and his heart grew another size.
“I know you plan to go home for Christmas.”
She nodded.
“But I’d like you to come back.”
“To be on your channel?”
“Yes. I mean, no.” His thoughts were running faster than he could process—like watching a movie in fast forward and only getting glimpses of what was happening. “If you want to be on the channel again, that’s great. But I’d like you to come back—” Swallow. “—for me—us. For us.”
Wow, he really sold that one.
She jumped up. “Breck.” His name was a warning. “I told you I have to go.”
“Right. But you don’t have to leave.”
“I’m recently divorced. I—I have nothing to give.”
He gathered her hands in his and pulled them to his chest. “You’re wrong.”
She jerked her head back and tried to pull her hands away.
“You have so much to offer. You have a warm and loving heart, a kindness that draws others to you, and an excitement for life that’s contagious. My viewers can see that in just a few minutes. Why can’t you?”
“I-I’m broken.” She yanked again, and he let her go. Her eyes were big, like a deer’s. “I don’t think I can help you anymore.”
“Harmony—wait.” He reached for her, begging her to stay so he could convince her that she was so lovable.
She paused at the door, and his heart lifted with hope. “I’m sorry, Breck. If it was going to be anyone, it would have been you.” She wrenched the door and ran through, leaving it hanging halfway open.
He stared at it for a while—a good, long while—before he finally walked across the room and slowly shut the door.
Chapter Fourteen
December 23rd
Harmony
“Just pick something—your train leaves in an hour.”
Harmony stared at the bottle of perfume, not able to focus on any one of them. They all blurred together in a sea of pink, purple, opal, and blue. Harmony’s mom had mentioned wanting to try a new scent for New Year’s, but for the life of her, she couldn’t pick one. Jenny was losing her patience.
“I’ll take the pink one.” Harmony reached for the box, knocking over several others in the process. A saleswoman in a professional dress trotted over, tsking her tongue.
Jenny glared. “Like no one has knocked over anything in the history of holiday shopping before.” She put her arm around Harmony and lead her away from the glowering sales manager.
Harmony sighed. “Sorry. I’m fine.” She lifted her chin so she could watch where she was going.
“Breck?” asked Jenny.
“Yeah. We were suppo
sed to perform today.”
Jenny frowned in sympathy. Suddenly, she grabbed Harmony’s arm in a death grip. “Do not turn around.”
When someone said that, the first thing Harmony always did was turn around. She did just that and was face-to-face with her worst nightmare—also known as her ex-husband.
Sam looked the same as the day they’d signed divorce papers. Same blond hair styled to perfection. Same dapper business suit. Same white teeth that were so perfect she wanted to color on them with a black sharpie. The only thing that was different was that the woman hanging all over him was a brunette.
Harmony glared. “What happened to Miss Barbados?” she demanded.
Sam laughed easily as he turned to his new woman, ignoring Harmony’s verbal jab. “Why don’t you go over and pick out a fragrance? I’d love to buy you a gift.”
The woman didn’t even cast a look Harmony’s way. She grinned up at Sam and jumped, making her boobs almost hit her chin. “I love pretty smells.”
“I know.” Sam’s wolfish smile made Harmony want to throw up.
She exchanged a look with Jenny that said, Wow—just wow!
“It’s good to see you, Harmony.” He cupped her elbow and moved to kiss her cheek as if they were longtime friends who’d happened to meet up instead of exes who had broken each other’s hearts. Well, he had broken her heart. Obviously, she hadn’t done the same level of damage to him.
That was disconcerting. Did she mean so little to him that he wasn’t at all remorseful for his behavior? She backed away so his lips caught air and her elbow was out of reach.
His shrug somehow said that she was the problem in that interchange.
She wanted to pull someone’s hair out—preferably his.
“What’s up with the new model?” asked Jenny—ever the loyal friend. She wasn’t letting Sam out of explaining what had happened with she-who-must-not-be-named. “I thought you were deeply in love with the real estate agent.”
He adjusted his tie. “She was crazy.”
“How so?” prodded Jenny.
He ran his hands through his hair, somehow making it look more perfect. Harmony liked when Breck did that and his hair was mussed. It was adorable, sweet, and so darn sexy. Sam’s perfection was fake. There was nothing under his exterior. All he was was a pretty package. “She had to use the same amount of shampoo and conditioner every day. She’d hold the bottles up to the light to make sure. And she always had to have a spare bottle of each under the sink just in case she ran out.”
Harmony wrinkled her brow. “So?”
“So, if she’s checking the bottles every day to make sure they’re the same, then she’d know how much was in there and the bottle under the sink is unnecessary.”
A light went on in Harmony’s head, shining on Sam with such brightness that she finally saw him for what he was—and she saw their marriage in a whole new way. “Oh. My. Gosh.” Harmony pressed her cold hands to her cheeks.
Yes, she’d been innocent—in all the right ways. She’d been young and wanting to love and be loved. She’d believed that men were like her father—honest, true blue, romantic, and that they protected the hearts of the women in their lives. Sam? Sam had taken advantage of her. He’d used her innocence up like … like shampoo that was easily replaceable. Maybe for him, it was—all he needed was a new woman on his arm who thought he hung the moon. But it wasn’t that easy for her to refill her bottle.
Until now. Until she realized something very important—she was marriage material. She wasn’t boring—she was amazing! Breck was right: Sam couldn’t see how great she was because he was too busy looking at himself.
“Bye, Sam.” She stuck out her hand, ready to shake away the residual influence he had on her life. He truly didn’t deserve her.
Jenny made a strangled noise in the back of her throat.
Harmony waved her off as she and Sam shook hands. “I can honestly say that I’m going to forget you. From this moment on, you’ll be nothing but a speck of my past.” With that, she spun on her heel and headed for the exit—not even needing to see his face or know his response, because she truly didn’t care.
“Harmony?” Jenny caught up and hooked their elbows together. “Where are you going?”
She stopped and grabbed Jenny by the shoulders. “I’m not the broken one, Jenny. It’s not me!” The revelation was so big it filled her up and about lifted her off the ground. “He is incapable of loving me the way I deserve. I wasn’t going to change him—not in one marriage, and not in a thousand.”
Jenny grabbed her arms, locking them together. “That’s what I’ve been trying to tell you.”
Harmony laughed. “Then you should be happy, because if Sam’s the incapable one, then that means I am capable of loving someone enough. I’m enough.” She threw her arms out to the side and tipped back her head. “I’m enough!” She laughed, the joy of it all too much to hold in. Jenny released her and she spun in a circle, narrowly missing the store sign boasting 30% off all pajama sets. She stopped suddenly. “I have to find Breck.”
“Go.” Jenny took the perfume from her. “I’ll buy this and drop it off at your apartment.”
“Thank you!” Harmony hugged her before running out the door. Her feet hit the icy sidewalk, and she skidded. A Santa rang his bell, asking for donations. People in parkas and scarves rushed by, determined to get to their families or office parties.
She ran the three blocks to Breck’s and pounded up the stairs—too excited to wait for the elevator. Once she got to his floor, she leaned against the wall and panted. Breck wouldn’t care if she was a sweaty mess; he’d answer the door and he’d kiss her like she was a winter princess. She charged ahead, still gulping for air.
Three knocks and the door swung open. “’Sup?” asked a guy in a football jersey. She didn’t even know what team was plastered across the front, because it was all faded.
She suddenly felt unprepared. She should have planned a speech or something that would tell Breck how wonderful he was and that she wanted him for this Christmas and beyond. “Is Breck here?” She rose to her tiptoes and scanned the room behind him. Half the magic supplies were missing. The melting snowman stood in the corner, looking droopy and left behind.
“He’s doing a show or something.” The guy scratched his stomach. “Wait—you’re his hot assistant.” He leaned against the doorframe. “I was hoping to meet you.”
Harmony nodded once. An idea popped into her head. If she could just get the melting snowman costume, and then somehow perfect an illusion she’d only stumbled through … she might be able to make this all work out. There was a lot riding on all those ifs. She grinned to herself. That was what Christmas magic was for!
Taking advantage of the roommate’s posture, she brushed past him on the side he wasn’t leaning against. “I’m just came to get this.” She snagged the melting snowman and then, in a flash of inspiration, also took a piece of poster paper. She rushed back out the door before he thought to stop her.
“Whatever,” he muttered. The door slammed shut.
She grinned. Breck’s street performing permit only allowed him to set up in certain places. He’d mentioned that he wanted to do this trick near a business doorway … Think! Where had he said …? The toy shop! She jogged down the stairs and headed that direction, praying she got there before he was done. Hopefully this time, it would be the magician who was amazed by the magic trick.
Chapter Fifteen
December 23rd (Continued)
Breck
The crowd applauded half-heartedly.
Breck gave them his stage smile anyway. It was the same smile he’d pasted on when the clerk handed him his change and wished him a Merry Christmas, the same one he used when he helped a woman off the bus, and the exact same grin that appeared when John asked if he had a rent check.
It almost hurt to put that face on at this point, but what else could he do? His reason for smiling was gone, and he couldn’t get her back. The idea th
at he couldn’t save Harmony from herself had haunted him the night before. If only he hadn’t pushed. If only he’d held back his feelings and been less selfish. If only he’d tried harder or said the right thing.
He grabbed a deck of cards. “For this trick, I’ll need a volunteer.”
No one raised their hand. He deflated. Getting a volunteer was usually the easy part. If he couldn’t get someone to pick a card, then he wasn’t ever going to make it as a magician.
He set the deck on the table and waved everyone off. “Sorry, folks, show’s over.” And so is my channel and my dreams.
“What’s with the snowman?” asked a loudmouth who had heckled Breck for the first five minutes of his routine.
Breck glanced over his shoulder and saw his melting snowman standing a few feet away. “When did that get here?” he asked the crowd.
They chuckled. “Like you don’t know!” yelled the heckler.
Breck didn’t have to fake confusion. He shook his head. If John thought it was funny to mess around with his props, he was going to have to have a serious talk about boundaries.
Or move out.
Great, now he’d be job and apartment hunting in the dead of winter.
He stomped over to the snowman. “Get out of the suit,” he said low through his teeth. The last thing he needed was to reveal this trick on the street corner. A part of him hoped to salvage it—for what, he didn’t know.
“Say the magic word,” came the reply from inside the suit. That soft, melodious sound most definitely wasn’t made by John. Wait—was that Harmony? What was she doing inside … His heart rate spiked.
“What are you doing here?” he whispered out of the side of his cheek. He didn’t know why she was there, but his heart hurt from growing so fast. The stiffness in his cheeks disappeared and he felt like he was twenty pounds lighter.
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