“I stand with you guys for everything,” Miles said, looking at Nick and Phil. He might not have been a founding member but he was in this club longer than the rest of us. “But I’m with Dice on this one. I don’t trust Angelo. Never will. I vote against it.”
“It’s two to two,” Nick said.
“Can’t hurt to hear what he has to say,” Hudson said.
“Fuck that, I’m out,” Beast said, leaning back in his chair.
Braxton raised his hand “Count me in.”
“I’m out, too,” Cash said.
“That leaves it down to you, Kade. What’s it going to be?” Nick asked, and it was the first words he uttered to me in days. Other than the ones he used to threaten to kill me.
I wanted to say no. Like Miles said, I never trusted Angelo either. He was a loose cannon with his own agenda. He didn’t believe in alliances, or making nice with other clubs. He wanted complete and total power, and there was no way he would be willing to cut a deal that kept him on an even playing field with someone else.
But, I couldn’t go against Nick now. Not after everything that has been going on. If I sided against him, it would be the nail in the coffin. He was actually letting me be here. He didn’t strip me of my cut and the club. He was giving me the deciding decision, and siding with him was the only way I knew how to make things right.
“In. Take the meeting,” I said and, when Nick nodded at me, I felt like it was the first piece of wood laid to repair the bridge that was broken between us.
He hit the gavel on the table. “That settles that. I’ll keep you all posted. Now, get back to work.”
We all rose and exited the room. I went to head to the garage to get my day started when Cash stopped me. “Plan on telling me what the fuck happened to your eye now?”
Nick walked out of the room last, and eyed me with distaste as he pushed into the rare morning sun.
Dice came up to me and patted me on the back. “Glad to see he didn’t actually kill you.”
“Wait a second,” Cash said. “That’s from Nick. Fuck, Kade. Did he find out about you two?”
I looked at Dice, not knowing if I should come out and share the news, but the only thing Dice offered was a shrug. I was sick of the secrets and bullshit. Cash was my best friend, and he deserved to know the truth.
“What aren’t you telling me?” Cash asked, glancing between Dice and me.
“Sienna’s pregnant, dude.”
Cash’s eyes practically fell out of his head. His lips parted and he went to speak.
“Oh, fuck!” Miles yelled out behind us, putting his fist to his mouth and laughing. “You are so fucked.”
“I didn’t realize we had an audience,” I said, looking around the room to all the guys who were currently staring at me with disbelief and humor.
I circled my hand around my eye. “Now, you know it wasn’t a doorknob that did this.”
Braxton sat on the couch with Tammy, now dressed, wrapped around him. She turned her head to me, and lifted an eyebrow. She didn’t need words to tell me she knew what earlier was about. I just hoped she would keep it between us. It was a mistake, and a mistake I didn’t plan on making again.
“Congratulations… I think,” Cash said, holding his hand out to me.
I took his hand and smiled. “Hold off on those for now. I have to convince two very stubborn people that I belong in my own kid’s life.”
“Give them both time. They’ll come around,” Cash said.
“I hope you’re right. I really do.” Because, at that moment, I wasn’t confident at all.
14
Sienna
I was four months pregnant, starting to show, and my father still wasn’t speaking to me, other than a few words here and there if business was concerned. I was sure he wouldn’t be able to keep up the silent treatment for longer than a day but he did. Then, I was convinced he’d never make it a week and he did. It’s been over a month now, and it’s slowly killing me inside.
Every morning, I still made him breakfast and, every morning, he left without even batting an eye in my direction. Every night, I cooked dinner and left it on the table for him. Some nights, he ate it and other nights he didn’t touch it.
Luckily, the emotional mess I was in the first trimester was now a thing of the past. I didn’t cry for every goddamned reason, and I could control my moods just as I always had. The only problem was, now I was horny all the fucking time.
I needed to get laid, or I was going to lose my damn mind. Before my night with Kade, I used to go to one of the bars on the outskirts of town where a lot of travelling businessmen stopped, and pick up some random guy when the desire hit. It was a no strings attach hook up that left me satisfied. It was always quick, and I was on my way home within a couple hours. There was no awkward morning conversation, and I never had to worry about seeing them again.
I applied my mascara, making my blue eyes pop beneath the dark black lashes. Pushed my boobs up and hoped that the guy’s eyes would be too focused on my tits to notice the slight swell of my belly.
The front door opened and shut, since I knew I locked it, and Dad had already left for the night, it could only be one other person.
“I’m in here,” I called down the hall from the bathroom.
His heavy boots stomped down the hall, and he propped himself against the doorframe, holding up a carton of ice cream. “Heard prego chicks like this shit,” he said, handing it off to me and causing me to laugh. “Why are you all dressed up?”
“I’m going out.” I put the ice cream down on the sink, and bent over to apply a finishing touch of lipstick.
“I see that. Where are you going?”
I smacked my lips together to even out the deep red, and then tossed the lipstick into my black leather bag. My face and boobs looked good as I took in my reflection in the mirror. I ignored the baby bump because all it did was remind me that my father wasn’t speaking to me, and I was about to go do the most un-motherly thing imaginable.
I spun on the heel of my black boot toward Dice and shrugged. “To find someone to fuck.”
His eyes widened, and he shook his head as if he had water in his ears. “Come again?”
My eyes rolled into the back of my head and then settled back on him. “I am so goddamned horny. You think they’d teach you about this in health class. That, by the time you’re four months, you’ll want to fuck anything that walks.”
His eyebrow lifted in pure amusement and then he laughed.
“It’s not funny. I have never been so horny in my goddamned life. Seriously, everything turns me on, and I need to do something about it before I lose my fucking mind.”
“You sure that’s a good idea? I mean, I wasn’t always thrilled how you went about…” He waved his hand so he didn’t have to say the actual words. “How you went about that. Now you’re…” He pointed to my stomach as if somehow I forgot.
“Well, then, do you want to do a sister a favor and help scratch an itch?” I asked.
He held his hands up. “The fact that you said sister in that question is making me want to be sick.”
“Am I that repulsive?” I asked, looking past my boobs to my bump.”
Dice took the ice carton from me, and started walking down the hallway. He called over his shoulder, “Seriously? When have you ever been insecure?”
I followed him into the kitchen and leaned against the counter. “Since it looks like I’m shoplifting a watermelon under my shirt.”
“I was going to say basketball.”
I punched him in the shoulder. Hard. “Fuck you, Dice. I’m serious. Am I repulsive?”
He grabbed my upper arms, and stood in front of me, staring at me until I looked at him. “Sienna, you’re gorgeous. You even have that pregnancy glow people talk about. You’re my sister, and I don’t care if blood isn’t involved, it doesn’t change shit. I could never look at you any other way.”
I sighed a breath of relief. “Okay, good, because I
can’t look at you that way either. To even think I asked.” I stuck my finger down my throat, and made a gagging noise. “Like seriously disgusting.”
“Sheesh, I get the point. Make a guy feel a little worse about himself, would you?”
“Oh, please. You know you’re good looking. You don’t need your sister telling you that.”
He pretended to toss long hair over his shoulder. “It’s so hard being beautiful.”
“Shut up, you asshole.”
“Why don’t you do what most chicks do and get yourself a vibrator?”
“I did. I’ve replaced the batteries twice already.
“Damn.”
“I told you. Fucking horny as hell. And a fake fucking dick is not the same.” I pushed off the counter, and went back to the bathroom to grab my purse. “Hey,” I called down the hall as I came back. “What’s going on with Angelo? I’ve been hearing my dad on the phone, but, since we’re still not talking, I feel completely out of the loop.”
“We’re in the process of setting up a meeting with him. It would have happened already if Angelo wasn’t out of the country for the past few weeks.”
“A meeting with Montamos?”
Dice nodded. “Angelo apparently reached out to Nick, and Nick wanted to at least take the meeting.”
“Is that a good idea?” I asked, knowing that Angelo was nothing like Carlos, the former president of Montamos. Angelo was a power hungry, self-righteous asshole.
Dice grabbed a beer out of the fridge, and downed half of it. He did that when he has shit to say, but didn’t want to actually say it.
“Dice!”
He took another swig from the bottle. “I think it’s a horrible idea. But, we voted so it doesn’t matter what I think anymore. I have to accept it, and be there with the club when the meeting happens.”
“When will that be?”
“Probably the next couple of weeks. Angelo should be back in the states by next week.”
“Thanks for filling me in. And what about…”
“The old man? He’s fine. Crankier than usual. He misses you. He just doesn’t know how to make things right.”
“There’s nothing to make right,” I argued. “He just has to talk to me, that’s it. He’s being a stubborn asshole.”
Dice tilted his head at me, and gave me a knowing look. “Sounds like somebody else I know.”
“Am not,” I spat, sounding like we were back to being teens and arguing over the television.
Dice tried to stifle a laugh by taking another sip of his beer.
“What’s so funny?”
“You saying you’re not stubborn when you won’t even look at Kade.”
“What does Kade have to do with anything?”
Dice held his hands up, the bottle dangling from his fingers. “I don’t want to get involved in your little melodrama, but I’m just saying you never even gave the guy a fair shot, and it’s obvious you have a thing for him.” Dice kept me from saying anything by holding a finger up. “Don’t try to deny it, S. It’ll only make you look guiltier.”
“You don’t know what you’re talking about, and I have to go. Lock up when you leave.”
I grabbed my purse and headed for the door when Dice saying my name stopped me. I turned to him with a roll of my eyes and a hand on my hip. “What?”
“Maybe, instead of going to some trashy bar to find a guy, you could go see Kade.”
“Why the fuck would I do that?”
“Do I really need to explain?”
I stared at him without a word, and he let out a loud breath.
“First off, he knows your pregnant, and he doesn’t fucking care since it’s his child. And, secondly, you said it was the best sex of your life, so why settle for some second rate version of that? Plus, if you’re with him, I won’t have to worry all night that your body will be found in a dumpster in some dark alleyway.”
“I can take care of myself.” I took the mace out of my purse, and showed it to him, before putting it back. Then, I bent down and lifted my pant leg, sliding my gun out of its holder on my leg.
“Just saying.”
“I appreciate your concern, but I’ll be fine.”
“You always are,” Dice said, right before I shut the door and walked out into the night.
I couldn’t deny that Dice made a good point, but still what was I supposed to do? Show up on Kade’s doorstep and tell him to fuck me. That was ridiculous. Besides, he wouldn’t look at it as just a fuck. He would try to make it into something more than it was, and I couldn’t have that. Not when things were still a mess with Dad.
The night was warm, and the afternoon rain gave way to clear skies. It was my favorite weather to ride in. I kicked my leg over my bike, and headed toward the bar.
It was a decent place on the corner of a main intersection that brought in all different types of people. It also was in the city, and far enough away from Black Hills that I didn’t have to worry about bumping into one of the guys.
I strutted into the bar and scanned the crowd. Usually, I picked out a guy the minute I walked in and casually made my way near him, squeezing in to get a drink. Accidentally rub against him while I ordered and turn it into a sexy conversation. Unfortunately, I couldn’t drink. I didn’t think about that until I was through the door.
I’d find a way to make it work. I had to. I spotted a guy in a black suit, sipping a beer at the end of the bar. His blonde hair was slicked back, and he had a five o’clock shadow, which showed me he wasn’t some clean-shaven uptight asshole. Though, with that suit, he was clearly here on business, and the perfect specimen for a one-night stand. I made my move toward the crowded bar and shimmied myself between the guy in the suit and a middle-aged man who was currently flirting with a red head.
“Excuse me,” I said with a flutter of my eyelashes.
Sometimes, that was all I needed to do and the guy would be waving the bartender down to buy me a drink. Tonight, it didn’t seem to go that way. The guy smiled, but turned back to his beer. What the fuck? Not even a glance at my tits. He didn’t have ring, so he wasn’t hitched. Maybe he was gay.
“Here on business?” I asked, deciding to cut the fucking games and just dive right in since I was getting impatient by the second. A two-minute conversation would tell me if I’d be getting what I needed from him.
“I am,” he said, tilting his beer to his lips.
“Single?” I asked, smiling at him seductively.
“You could say that.”
I rested my hand on his arm and squeezed. “It’s a yes or no question, sweetie.”
“Depends who’s asking, then.”
“What if I was asking?” I moved so my cleavage was on full display. His eyes lingered on them before coming back to my face. I bit my lip, since guys liked that stupid shit, and let my hand fall down to his thigh.
He grabbed my hand, stopping my retreat. “Then I’m not single.”
“Excuse me?” I demanded, ripping my hand out of his.
“You’re not my type,” he said, turning back to his beer.
I wasn’t used to getting rejected. Guys usually went out of their way to talk to me. “Can I ask why?”
He looked down at my stomach and then back at me with disgust. “No offense, but I don’t do fat chicks.”
He might as well have slapped me across the face. His words stung, causing a rage of emotion to spiral out of control.
“I’m not fat you asshole. I’m pregnant.”
“Even better. Pregnant and in a bar. Classy. Real classy.”
Fuck you,” I said. “You know nothing about me.”
He turned on the stool and faced me. “I’ll consider myself lucky then.”
I stumbled back, unsure of what to say. Nobody ever made me feel lower than this guy just did. Never, in my life, have I ever felt so ashamed of myself. My throat clogged with regret and, without a word, I ran out of the bar. I hopped on my bike and sped away, feeling completely and totally patheti
c. Disgusted with myself for thinking my life hadn’t completely changed the minute I let Kade take me to his house all those months ago.
The wind rushed over me and, usually, it brightened my mood but right now it did nothing to help. I was pregnant and nobody wanted me. I didn’t even want myself. It was a realization that burned like a bitch. The sex appeal I always radiated, that got me whatever guy I set my sights on, no longer worked for me, and without it I no longer knew who I was.
I rode until the city was behind me, and I was back in Black Hills. But, instead of heading home, I took a detour, pulling into Kade’s driveway. His bike was parked in its usual spot, and I only hoped he hadn’t brought a whore home on the back of it tonight.
I was desperate for a release and, after the big fiasco I just faced, I needed to feel wanted… if only for a short time. I knew Kade could provide both so, with nothing left to lose, I stormed to his door and banged on the metal of the screen door.
“Hang the fuck on!” he yelled from inside, and I braced myself. I hadn’t spoken more than a few sentences to him since he came to my office after Daddy knocked him out, and I honestly had no idea how he would react to me showing up on his stoop at night.
The door flung open to Kade, tugging on a white t-shirt over hard, defined abs that made my mouth water. His head popped through, the smile he wore instantly faded, and his eyes narrowed in suspicion.
“Sienna, what are you doing here? Is everything okay?”
“No, everything is not okay!” I blurted out, unable to control all the emotions that were bouncing around in my head since I got rejected.
“What’s the matter?” he asked, reaching for me before he thought better of it and dropped his hand to his side.
“You knocked me up, and now nobody wants me! I’m fat and I’m ugly and, apparently, insecure like the stupid chicks I used to make fun of.”
This time, he didn’t hold back. He took my chin in his hand, and urged me to look into those beautiful hazel eyes of his. The gold took dominance as he stared at me with such intensity, causing my knees to weaken beneath me.
“You are not fat, and you are most definitely not ugly. You are the most beautiful thing I’ve ever laid my eyes on.”
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