“Well, you did volunteer for it,” observed Loki.
“After playing with my sense of guilt and conscience, of course. I feel like I am made to walk through a pre-determined course set by you, yours, and other deities.”
Loki smiled.
“But you could have walked away from everything.”
“Yes, but I never could live with myself after that,” replied Tyler after a few moments of reflection. “And I doubt if I would survive without adopting the path I took.”
“Hah. Now you get it. Knowledge is really a dangerous thing. Mortals are cursed with a conscience. Must be a genetic defect. With that in mind, no wonder deities find it relatively easy to influence your decisions. All we need is the bait or the prod, and in many instances, let your conscience dictate your actions. But enough metaphysical discussions, I think I am telling you too much to my disadvantage. There’s a price for my help, and I trust you’re willing to pay it.”
“With what? I am not materially well-off, if you’ve noticed. I am not the Gothi of Maljen with riches at my command,” reacted Tyler.
“Pfft. Material things are not what makes a being rich or powerful. Maybe in inane, inconsequential mortal matters. My price is simple – you won’t raise your hand against me nor take any action directly against Loki or his interests. See! Simple transaction.”
He definitely has something significant underway. Might be good or bad, probably wicked as hell. Unlike Odin, to whom I made a similar promise, Loki is a different keg of dynamite altogether, loose and doesn’t need a timing fuse.
“I can’t make such a blanket promise. It’s like writing a blank cheque. A cheque is a negotiable instrument back in the First World. A blank cheque would be a promise to pay with no figure or amount written on the document. It’s like tying these hands behind my back,” replied Tyler, offering up his hands. “And the ‘your interests’ part is sufficiently vague to make any future action on my part impossible. Not to mention I have to ask you now and then if an enemy is affiliated with you. That’s what we call back home as ‘telegraphing my actions.’ And that’s the civilized way of putting it.”
“I think I understand your references. But your reply leaves us at an impasse. But I do want to help you in your present quest. Can’t have strange beings competing with the deities of this world. How about a compromise?” offered Loki.
“What kind of compromise?” asked Tyler.
“We limit my price, but that also will reduce the kind of service I can offer.”
OMG. It really is dealing with children. I didn’t expect even Loki to be this moronically short-sighted. True, he unquestionably has an important scheme or plot in play. His price is a dead giveaway. But am I really that big a threat to his plan? Never mind. File that thought. But this negotiation is unbelievably idiotic. Their world is at stake and what they’re concerned about is what they can get out of a desperate situation.
“Your price?” asked Tyler, struggling to keep his temper and outrage in check.
“Simple. Don’t try to kill me. Oh, don’t give me that look. I know you somehow have the ability. You got rid of Supay, even helped Thor in the process, and now I heard you defeated Huitzilopochtli. A major god. I don’t know of another instance of that happening in this world.”
“And the reduced service you mentioned?”
“I’ll bring you and your companions halfway to your destination. More than halfway actually. Somewhere in the Barren Lands, but near the Dual Monarchy. But you get to avoid the Death Lands, arrive near the borders of that empire, and then enter the Void Lands.”
“The names of the lands you mention really don’t make matters easier in my mind. But beggars can’t be choosers, I guess. But for the record, I don’t think I could get myself to kill you. Unless of course, you’re trying to kill me first. Here’s my promise – I won’t try to get rid of you provided you don’t try to kill me first, either personally or through your intermediaries.”
“Done. I like it! Sort of a personal blood compact!” exclaimed Loki whose suit now turned to white. A sudden blaze engulfed both of them, sealing the agreement. Thankfully, a top hat or even a bowler didn’t appear.
“You do know under those terms, your companions are fair game,” smiled Loki.
Tyler sat shock-still. The declaration was so imprudent, too uncalled for to be a mere passing statement. His mind swiftly tried to assess the context within which it was uttered. A veiled threat? An arrogant reiteration of superiority? A disguised insult? His cheeks and ears began to feel warm.
How do I play this? he thought. True, he was getting angry despite his fear of Loki. For the deity to give such a remark flippantly, right after Tyler agreed to the compromise Loki offered was a challenge the mage couldn’t ignore. Tyler struggled to keep calm.
“Elder, your blood pressure is rising. Don’t rise to his bait,” said Hal.
“I won’t,” he replied. Then Tyler smiled at Loki.
“You’re right. I should have framed that compromise in better terms,” remarked Tyler. “I did promise not to kill you. But make a move against any of my companions, and I’ll beat you to an inch of your existence. Every. Single. Time. I. Come. Across. You.”
To his surprise, Loki laughed.
“That’s my boy. Don’t take skita from deities. They tend to push their advantage when they see you don’t think about the demands they make. They can’t force you to do something you don’t want to do anyway. Well, that’s a bit inaccurate. They could make your life a living hell instead. You’re getting the hang of this First Mage business. Though make sure you politely phrase your retorts or insults.”
“Polite insults? Isn’t that a contradiction in terms?”
“You mortals can do it. I used to hang around desperate battles just to hear the insults to the gods recited by the doomed. Heard a few classics. Even deities engage in insult poetry at times. I did have an extended exchange with the Aesir after Baldur’s death. You mortals immortalized it as the Lokasenna. Not quite accurate a version, but it will do. But on hindsight, I shouldn’t have included Skadi in my litany of insults. But how was I to know that jotunn would be my jailer?”
“I am not good at prose, Loki. Abysmal would be the proper description.”
“Then ask Tyndur to teach you. His verses are atrocious, but they do get the message across!”
They both laughed at Loki’s description, breaking the tension which filled the room after the deity’s veiled and menacing words.
“So that’s settled then,” said Loki, “though you still have unfinished business here. Kindly do me the favor of finishing it quickly. In the meantime, I have to do Father’s errand. Here, crush this when you’re ready.”
Loki held out his right hand, palm up, and a small runic plate appeared. Tyler took the artifact.
“It’s keyed to you. If you perish, nobody could use that item. Your quest would die with you. It’s too early for you to die, First Mage. There’s still a lot of loose ends to tie up. Dark beings to put in their place. Not only for the pantheons.”
Suddenly, the room disappeared, bringing back Tyler to his surroundings.
That was abrupt, the mage observed. Then Tyler loudly cursed when he realized where the trickster god left him. He was on top of the temple, and it was a long walk down. In the dark.
Chapter Note:
Mimir – Norse. A being believed to have incredible knowledge and wisdom. Some legends say he was beheaded during the war between the Vanir and the Aesir and Odin kept the head as a mobile library of sagacity and lore.
Skita – Old Norse. A noun meaning “shit.” But when used in an informal sense, it could also refer to “diarrhea.”
Flyting – Norse. The term refers to insult poetry. The practice is not limited to Nordic culture. Examples could be found in other European societies and indeed existed up to medieval times. Guns might have something to do with it. There’s no sense reciting insults when one gets killed at a distance, well beyond shout
ing range.
Lokasenna – Norse. A poem found in the Poetic Edda where Loki insults most of the deities of the Nordic pantheon gathered in Odin’s hall. Even Odin didn’t escape his flurry of insults:
“They say that with spells | in Samsey once
Like witches with charms didst thou work;
And in witch’s guise | among men didst thou go;
Unmanly thy soul must seem.”
And when Freya came to her husband’s defense, she got this from Loki:
“Be silent, Freyja! | for fully I know thee,
Sinless thou art not thyself;
Of the gods and elves | who are gathered here,
Each one as thy lover has lain.”
Citations from https://en.wikisource.org/wiki/Poetic_Edda/Lokasenna
Chapter Fourteen
How to Deal with a Tenma
Damn that Loki. This must be his version of having the last word. A freaking practical joke. Not that I am mused, seethed Tyler as he formed a small orb of light to guide him down the steps. As he started down the stairs, the mage chastised himself for his overreaction. In introspect, it’s a harmless trick. Tiredness must be taking its toll on me. It could also be a side effect of the extended artificial boost my guides have been giving me. I don’t think they’ve done such intervention for this extended a period.
Tyler gingerly made his way down, mindful of the moss-covered stone. His staff helped in finding his way down the slippery stairs.
It’s easier during the daytime, he decided, comparing his current pace with his last visit to the top of the temple. He was already more than halfway down.
Though the darkness does have its advantages. Going down this tall a structure during the day would give me vertigo, thought Tyler as he stopped to rest. In the distance he could see the small campfires of the defending warriors, many of the specks of light followed what he guessed was the curvature of the stone rampart.
To say this was a rough day is an understatement, and tomorrow is another worrying day. And so many things to think about before bed, sighed Tyler as he continued to the bottom of the structure.
Finally, he reached the last rung and sat down to catch his breath, placing the lit sphere beside him. Navigating in the dark was a tiring effort, especially when one is trying to avoid accidentally sliding down in a hard and bumpy way.
“Sire, sire,” a soft male voice called out from the darkness, beyond the enclosed grounds of the temple.
Tyndur? Tyler immediately thought and then disregarded the notion. The einherjar would have shouted, yet the voice had a faint Nordic accent.
People won’t let you rest, he decided as he wearily stood up. That blob of light coming down the temple steps must have been visible for quite a distance.
“Who is…,” he started to call out to the darkness as his feet took a few steps towards the voice.
His query was suddenly cut off by a wild shout.
“TENMA!”
The yell was followed by a flurry of various sounds – shouts and the distinct metallic hiss of steel and iron weapons being unsheathed. A series of small concussive explosions followed.
WTF?
Tyler immediately adopted a defensive posture, staff at the ready.
“Guy! Shields! Check what’s happening!”
“Your barriers are at full strength, Elder. There appears to be a mass of warriors fighting or converging upon somebody several feet away. Just outside the entrance to the complex,” answered X.
The mage swiftly formed two light orbs above the entry to the temple compound. The sudden illumination revealed some of Kobu’s men surrounding a humanoid form. It was decidedly not human, though for some strange reason, the light seemed to slide off the entity, failing to reveal its entire appearance. It did have a skeletal face with flashing blue eye sockets and a fanged mouth. Dark mists swirled around it, showing grey and dark patches. Tyler wasn’t sure if what he was seeing was a carapace or the flesh of the creature. As it swung its arms against the warriors, the mage saw that its extremities were abnormally long and ended with clawed hands.
A vord? came the sudden thought to the mage, remembering the shadowy creature he fought back in Skaney. Nope, does not react negatively to light.
Kobu’s men already cornered the monster. He could see the exile standing in the second circle around the creature. The first circuit comprised only four men, equidistantly positioned from each other, and were the ones directly confronting it. A third ring was placed further away from the second.
The third circle is probably to guard against any escape by leaping or vaulting. They are experienced fighters, observed the mage. Less able men would have crowded around the fiend, allowing it to deal damage to its attackers and possibly escape. Tyler saw one warrior feint an attack, drawing the monster’s attention. As the beast turned, a spear-wielding companion stabbed it in the back. Its blade broke. The man retreated, threw away the wooden shaft, and immediately held out his hand. Somebody quickly handed him a straight spear with a crossbar. The weapon momentarily glowed when the fighter held it with both hands, and its blade flashed again when the lance was lowered to a ready position. The warrior had grasped the middle and base of the shaft, ready for a lunging thrust. The entire series of movements was a blur. Only the mage’s heightened visual sense made it possible for him to see what happened.
They’re testing its defenses and abilities, observed Tyler, and these warriors are inhumanly quick. Not as good as Astrid but nearly there. Tyndur was not exaggerating when he said they’re excellent warriors.
One warrior now extended both hands, palms out, as the intruder turned to the one who stabbed him. Tyler could see three small, transparent energy spheres fly out and hit the creature, staggering it. The monster roared, its loud growl a strange cacophony of yapping, hissing, and roaring sounds. When the monstrosity turned to face its new tormentor, a saburai from its flank swiftly moved in, a long curved sword flashing in the air. Before the sword struck, Tyler saw the warrior execute a defensive sequence of figure-of-eight movements as he closed in.
The weapon neatly cut into the creature’s shoulder as it tried to avoid the incoming attack. This time, the strike left a deep gash. The saburai quickly jumped back and adopted a ready position. Another series of blasts hit the creature. Tyler noticed that another had already replaced the man with the magical attack ability.
Limited capacity to fire off those magical attacks, he noted. And that sword unmistakably is not an ordinary one. A rustle behind him caught his attention. His companions had arrived. Habrok was already drawing his bow. Tyler saw Asem stop the ranger.
“Let them have the honor of doing away with that monster,” the mage heard her whisper. Tyler noticed Astrid had her blades out and was intently watching the fight.
“They’re fast, Astrid. But not as swift as you,” Tyler told the Valkyrie.
“I know, sire. I saw what happened, but there’s always something new to be learned from other fighting styles,” Astrid replied.
Suddenly, Kobu stepped forward, his sword drawn but with the tip pointed to the ground. The exile looked as if he looking at a practice match. He didn’t adopt any fighting stance or call out to the creature. As soon as he stepped in, the monster quickly turned in his direction.
That ugly bastard could sense something from Kobu? wondered Tyler.
In an instant, Kobu exploded into action. Tyler could hear the gasps of amazement from his companions at the quickness of the movement. From a standing position, the exile suddenly burst forward, sword now at the ready in one hand, and as his target swung talons at him, the saburai immediately leaped to the air. As he did so, Tyler could see that the sword had changed its form into some form of bardiche. Kobu effortlessly swung it at the creature’s neck as he passed. Even as somebody with no experience with bladed weapons, the mage could see the perfect and elegant form the warrior displayed as the blade severed the skeletal head from the neck. Inexplicably, the skull didn’t fly off from
the impact. It fell to the ground as the rest of its body disappeared.
Tyler could hear appreciative murmurs from Kobu’s men as their leader stood where he landed. The exile didn’t even look back to see if the blow was successful. The mage turned to Astrid.
“What do you think?”
“Excellent form but I am better, sire,” said the Valkyrie without hesitation.
“That I don’t doubt, Astrid. Though this display tells me we have to obtain more powerful weapons for all of you.”
“Asem, you have some knowledge about these lands. Do you recognize that monster?”
“It’s a Tzitzimitl, sire. What the Aztecah call a ‘star-demon.’ Rare and powerful creatures, usually affiliated with their gods. Also, a favorite form taken by Aztecah deities when they intend to wreak havoc and destruction among mortals. This is an assassination attempt. A very powerful assassination attempt. One worthy of the personal enmity of one of their gods. You must have extremely angered one of them, considering these are the creatures the Aztecah believe to be world-enders. Their blood sacrifices were also intended to stave off the coming of millions of these creatures. Though I don’t know whether the sacrifices were a bribe to their deities for them not to release these creatures or whether the sacrifices were needed to keep closed the door of the creatures’ dimension. Personally, since some of their deities are believed to be Tzitzimitl themselves, powerful ones, I tend to believe the former explanation,” explained Asem.
Tyler didn’t reply. He still had not decided whether to tell his companions about the recent addition to the “Hate-and-Kill Tyler” list. Huitzilopochtli must really be pissed-off. That was swift retribution, considering the creature must have been dropped somewhere outside the settlement and had to make its way here, avoiding the Yahui and the guards at the wall. Makes me wonder what else that guy has up his sleeves?
The crowd of saburai at the entrance was now starting to disperse, presumably going back to their guard positions. Tyler didn’t expect the warriors to continue their watchful vigil over him up to the temple area, but he was thankful for it.
The Accidental Archmage Page 15