And Trent walked in. “All good?”
I nodded. “All good.” I lifted my shirt to show him that my stitches were gone.
“Finally.”
He rushed toward me, scooped me up into his arms, and then promptly deposited me back onto the bed, his lips hard and demanding against mine. Easing his hand up my shirt, he caressed my scar.
“I’ve been dying to do this, but I was afraid of hurting you,” he said.
With those few words, all my worries about losing him disappeared.
CHAPTER FORTY:
Take Me Home
I LAY BESIDE TRENT, FEELING SLIGHTLY better than I had in days. He stroked his fingers up and down my arm, lulling me into peacefulness. He’d kissed me until I couldn’t breathe, and my lips had gone numb, but then we’d snuggled beneath the covers and just cuddled. I’d missed being in his arms like this.
“Are you okay?” he asked.
“Yeah.”
“Good.”
There was something in his tone that gave me pause and caused ice cold fear to snake down my spine. “What’s wrong?” I propped myself up and stared at him.
“Nothing,” he said.
“Don’t lie to me. Not now,” I said, trying to keep the tremor from my voice. I hugged the blankets tightly around me, as if they would somehow protect me from whatever was about to happen.
He sighed and rubbed his hands over his face. “You said you couldn’t imagine having all those things you want without me, but…”
My stomach knotted, and my heart stopped. Why was he bringing this up now? We’d had that discussion almost two weeks ago. Had he really been thinking about it this entire time?
“But what?” I asked.
“No matter what you choose to do, you’re not going to have the life you want.” He shifted onto his side so he was facing me. “If you change, your dream of having kids is gone. If you don’t change, your dream of having all that stuff with me is gone, because I can’t give you that.”
I blinked against the forming tears. “What’re you saying?” My throat was raw and burning, and I swallowed hard. “If I don’t change, you’ll leave?”
I could not believe those words just left my mouth, or that Trent was even considering that as an option.
“Maybe,” he said.
My eyes widened, and my jaw dropped. An unexpected sob burst free.
“I almost watched you die, Chloe. And then I sat in this room for days, wondering if you’d wake up, wondering what I’d do if you didn’t.” His voice dipped with his admission. “And I realized that I’m not strong enough to handle your mortality.”
“What?” I was too stunned to say anything else.
“You want a life I can’t give you, and I don’t want to watch you die. I can’t.” He shook his head emphatically.
Everything he didn’t say echoed around the room. He wants me to change.
“I can’t believe this. You’d actually leave me if I chose not to change? What happened to being with me no matter what?” My voice rose with hysterics. I moved to get out of the bed.
Trent grabbed my arm. “Chloe, stop. Let me explain.”
“What’s there to explain? It sounds like you just gave me an ultimatum.” My tone was sharp.
“That’s not what I did.” His voice was firm, leaving no room for argument. His hold on loosened, and he trailed his fingers up my arm, leaving goose bumps in their wake. “You cannot possibly understand just how much I love you. On a good day, the heightened emotions are difficult, but with you, they’re unbearable. Everything inside of me is alive for you. And when you were dying…” He visibly swallowed. “All of me died, too.”
I settled back onto the bed and nodded for him to continue, though I wasn’t sure I wanted to hear what else he had to say. Was he going to end things with me? Had he reached his limit?
Despite how calm I might appear on the outside, I was falling apart on the inside. My stomach coiled into a tight knot, squeezing and twisting painfully. My heart thrashed violently against my ribs. Fear and desperation clawed at my chest.
“Do I want you to change and spend eternity with me? Absolutely. But only if that’s what you want.” He smiled sadly. “I realize there’s a good chance that won’t happen, so then what? You were right. Your death will destroy me—it nearly did destroy me—and I’m not sure I’m strong enough to handle that again.”
“Trent,” I choked through tears.
He told me I was his soulmate, that his entire existence now meant doing whatever he could to make sure I was safe and happy. He had to know leaving me wouldn’t make me happy. It wouldn’t make him happy, either.
“But more than anything else, I just want you to be happy. I want you to have the life you want, and if I can’t give you that…” He shrugged. “Then maybe I need to let you g—”
I pressed my hand over his mouth. “Don’t you dare finish that sentence.” I sniffled, my lips trembling. “Don’t.” I shook my head, my vision blurred by my tears. “This isn’t easy for me, either, Trent. I know what I’m doing to you, and I hate myself for it. But I’m too selfish to let you go. I can’t lose you.”
He removed my hand and gave it a loving squeeze. “I know. I’m sorry.”
Wrapping his arm around me, he tucked me firmly against him, my head on his chest. If I chose to remain human, I risked losing Trent. That knowledge was like a knife to the heart, twisting and turning, shredding me from the inside out. It hurt worse than my appendix bursting.
How could I expect him to stay with me knowing I’d die, knowing it would be too hard for him to watch that happen? It was then that it hit me—I wasn’t the only one with a choice to make.
My choice would affect Trent, and depending on what choice I made, he’d need to decide what was best for him, too. And what was best for him might not be me.
“I want to go home,” I mumbled against his chest.
“I know you do. This will be over soon.” He kissed the top of my head.
“No, I mean I want to go home now. Tonight.”
He pulled away and looked down at me. “What?”
“I want to go home,” I said louder and sat up. “I want to go back to Keene Valley.”
“You know that’s not possible. It’s not safe.” His voice was level, but there was an undercurrent of confusion and terror.
“I almost died, Trent. And no one but you and your family knows. Aunt Beth and Uncle Dean. Abby. My father. Larissa… If I had died, none of them would have known. I can’t remember the last thing I said to Aunt Beth. I haven’t talked to Uncle Dean in weeks.” My heart dropped. “Oh, God. The things I said to my father before I left…”
Groaning, I covered my face in shame. Granted, my father had done some pretty unspeakable things, but he was still my father, and I didn’t want to leave this world with so much left unsaid between us.
Kicking off the blankets, I got out of bed. “I have to see them.” I adjusted my shirt, then spun around to face Trent.
He was out of bed and stood in front of me with his arms crossed. Frustration bubbled up at how quickly he moved, and at how unfazed he seemed to be about this whole situation.
I squared my shoulders and met his gaze. “Take me home. Now.”
“No.” His tone was clipped.
“Yes.”
“No.” He scowled.
This childish argument wasn’t getting me anywhere. I sighed with aggravation. “You can’t keep me here.” I crossed my arms, mimicking his stance.
“Wanna bet?” The iciness of his voice sent a chill through me. “Be mad at me if you want, but I will do whatever is necessary to keep you safe.”
He stepped closer, putting him toe to toe with me. In that split second, I saw it. The way his eyes narrowed and darkened. The way his body stiffened. The way his muscles twitched with anticipation. The way he clenched his jaw as if fighting against a primal urge. This was him on the edge of full-blown bloodlust.
“Trent, please.” M
y voice wavered. “You don’t understand. I never got to say goodbye to my mom. One minute, she was there, and we were laughing and talking, and the next minute she was in a coma.” Tears streamed down my face. “I can’t do that again. I can’t put my family through that.”
He blew out a breath and rubbed the back of his neck. “I’m sorry, but I can’t put you in danger.” Trent pulled me to him, cradling my head against his chest. “I love you,” he whispered.
I knew he loved me, but there was no way he could understand how I felt or the depth of desperation coursing through my veins for the need to talk to my family.
“If I can’t see them, then I need to call them.” I backed away from his embrace and glanced around the room for my cell phone. It sat on the nightstand.
“That’s not a good idea.”
“Why?”
“Jax said the coven has been in Keene Valley. We have no idea what they’ve done. If you contact your family, you risk putting them in danger. Is that what you want?”
“Of course not,” I snapped, pacing away. That was the very last thing I wanted. “What if I send them an email? Or a letter?”
Trent’s expression was firm, but his eyes were full of compassion. “I’m sorry, Chloe.”
“Then you go talk to them. Or send Jax. You guys can give them a message from me.”
He shook his head.
I let out a frustrated scream. He was being unreasonable. We both knew why the coven wanted me, and sooner or later, they were going to find me. There was no denying that. But what could they do to me?
They weren’t going to kill me—I was too valuable to them. If anything, I had all the power. Still, knowing the coven was coming for me was all the more reason to go see my family. Who knew when I’d get another chance?
Well, if Trent wasn’t going to take me home to see my family, I’d find a way to go without him, because there was no way he was going to stop me from doing this. Maybe Jax would help me. Or Whitney.
“Fine,” I said, praying he believed I was giving up and letting him win. “But I’m not going to be unprepared again.”
He tilted his head, eyes narrowed, studying me. “What?” he said cautiously.
“I need a notebook and a pen.” I went to the closet, to where I’d shoved my backpack, and retrieved the items. Then I sat on the bed cross-legged.
“What are you doing?” he asked.
“Writing a living will.” I wrote the words “Living Will” across the top of the page, followed by my name. “Next time I almost die, I’ll have a plan in place.”
“A plan?” Trent sounded more confused than I’d ever heard him.
I nodded. “Yes, a plan. You know. A do-not-resuscitate order. Instructions to not let me live hooked up to machines. That sort of thing.”
“You’re being ridiculous.”
“Am I?” I glanced up at him.
He was standing right next to the bed, eyes dark as a storm.
“I’m going to die eventually. We both know it. So, why not be prepared? I mean, isn’t that sort of what you’re doing, too? Deciding if you want to stick around if I choose to remain human?”
With a snarl, Trent yanked the notebook out of my hand and flung it across the room. “It’s bad enough I’m going to have to face an eternity without you, but I will not plan for that day. Do you understand?” He kneeled on the bed, his face inches from mine. “And I’m not deciding if I want to stick around. I’m here, Chloe, and I’m not going anywhere. Ever.”
My breaths came hard and fast, my chest heaving with each exhale. As terrifying—and dangerous as it was—he was a million times sexier when he was in bloodlust. I stared into his dark, tortured eyes. Until just then, I hadn’t realized how badly I needed to hear him say that, to know he wasn’t going to leave me.
“Promise?” I whispered.
He sat beside me and then pulled me onto this lap. Sweeping my hair back, he gently clutched my face and held my gaze. “Promise. It’s you and me. Forever.”
My breath hitched. Forever. Not eternity. I closed my eyes and rested my forehead to his. Forever didn’t seem long enough.
CHAPTER FORTY-ONE:
Happy Birthday!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU.
Happy Birthday to you.
Happy Birthday, dear Chloe.
Happy Birthday to you!
My mother’s voice rang out from my phone. I jolted out of bed, disoriented, heart jackhammering in my chest.
I snatched my phone but couldn’t bring myself to turn off the alarm. I’d completely forgotten she’d recorded herself singing and then set it as the alarm on my phone—8:43 AM on June 28th. The exact time and date of my eighteenth birthday.
My mother continued to sing. I never thought I’d hear her voice again, and now here it was, serenading me. I wiped tears from my face and sniffled, realizing for the first time that Trent wasn’t in bed next to me.
Clutching my phone to my chest, I leaned back, letting the alarm play until it eventually shut itself off. The silence was deafening. My heart broke completely, leaving me exhausted and unwilling to get out of bed. I crawled beneath the covers and yanked them over my head.
I was officially eighteen.
I should be with my friends, celebrating. I should be excited. But I wasn’t. I was empty, numb. The day couldn’t get over fast enough. If I were lucky, everyone would leave me alone so I could hide out in bed.
“Wake up, Chloe.” Whitney burst into my room, her voice too enthusiastic. “We’ve got a lot to do today.”
“Go away,” I grumbled.
She ripped the blankets off me and tsked. “It’s your birthday. Get up.”
“How do you know it’s my birthday?” I narrowed my eyes.
“Trent told me.” She smiled. “Now, get up. I mean it. The dresses will be here soon.”
“Dresses?”
What on earth was she talking about? I reached for the blankets, but Whitney snatched them away before I could get my hands on them.
“Yes. Trent is planning something special for you, and naturally, I agreed to help.” She bounced around the room, opening every curtain to let the sunlight filter in.
I covered my eyes and groaned in protest.
Of course, Trent would want to do something. I wasn’t even sure how he knew today was my birthday, but if it was important to him, I’d play along. It was the least I could for everything he’d done for me, for his unwavering support as I tried to make a decision.
“Fine.” I sat up, set my phone on the nightstand, and got out of bed. “What do you want me to do?”
Whitney clapped and squealed with delight. “Shower.”
I rolled my eyes and trudged to the bathroom. I showered and wrapped my hair up in a towel.
When I returned, Whitney stood in the middle of my room, surrounded by at least a dozen rolling racks of formal dresses. Long ones. Short ones. A rainbow of colors in a plethora of fabrics—most of them sequined. I raised a brow, waiting for her to explain.
“You get to pick one,” she said, her eyes alight with glee. “So do I.”
Despite my sour mood, a smile split my face. “Seriously?”
She nodded and bit on her bottom lip, her excitement barely contained. I allowed her enthusiasm to rub off on me, and I squealed.
I’d never gotten the chance to go formal dress shopping—ever—and to now have the ability to choose any dress I wanted? I had no idea what Trent was planning, but it was going to be awesome. I hopped around, letting my excitement get the better of me.
Soon, Whitney joined me, and we were jumping around the room like a couple of normal teenage girls.
“Okay, you have to try on all of them,” she said.
I laughed. “That’s going to take all day.”
“Good thing we have all day then, huh?” She walked to one of the racks, pulled down a simple black dress, and held it out to me. “Start with this one.”
I took it and held it up to my body. “Where is Tre
nt anyway?”
“Busy.” Whitney shooed me toward the makeshift fitting room she’d set up. “Now, go try it on.”
We spent the next several hours trying on dresses. Of course, Whitney was much faster than I was, and she’d finished going through all her selections in the time it took me to get through a single rack.
She’d settled on a silk, lavender floor length gown with spaghetti straps. She looked absolutely stunning, even without her hair and makeup done.
We’d taken a quick break to eat lunch, which she’d gone downstairs to retrieve, insisting I wasn’t allowed to be down there until later.
“What about this one?” I stepped into the center of the room and spun around.
“Oh, my God, Chloe. That’s the one.” She clapped. “Trent is going to love it.”
I grinned and looked down at myself. The dress was royal blue and strapless. The fitted top was sequined in the front and lace in the back, and a silver band wrapped around the waist. The bottom was silky with a slit up the right leg, stopping just below my thigh. It fit perfectly.
“Yeah?” I asked, chewing nervously on the inside of my cheek.
“Yes,” she said firmly, nodding.
I grinned. “Okay, this is the one, then. Now what?”
“Hair and makeup.” She went to the door, opened it, and ushered in a group of people.
Were they human or vampire? I had no idea, and I wasn’t about to ask. And thankfully, Whitney wasn’t in my head, so she didn’t answer. The people busied themselves setting up tables and mirrors, spreading out various cosmetics and hair styling products.
I watched in amazement. It was like I was royalty or something. If only my mother could see me now. She’d probably roll her eyes and mumble about being pretentious, but secretly, she’d be as excited as I was.
For the next two hours, I sat in a chair as two strangers applied my makeup and twisted my hair into an updo that was worthy of the red carpet.
“Wow,” I whispered, staring at my reflection.
“You’re beautiful, Chloe.” Whitney stood behind me, her look complete with fat curls cascading around her shoulders and shimmery purple eyeshadow. A silver necklace with matching earrings complimented her dress.
Eternal Choice: (The Cursed Series, Book 2) Page 31