Tessa is having a difficult time controlling her grin.
“Can I go inside?” Billy lifts his chin at the camper, and the delivery guy nods as he unlocks the door.
Billy climbs inside. “Holy freaking shit.”
“Don’t mind him,” Tessa says to the delivery guy. “He lives in a cave.”
“Dude, holy crap, flat screen TV.”
Tessa has no idea what Billy is rambling about. She is walking with the handsome delivery guy to the front of the truck. His blue uniform name tag says Paul. Paul shows her how to open the engine. She looks at the latch. He shows her again. She does it right the first time.
“Great,” he says. And waits a beat as if expecting her to say or do something else. “Okay then.”
He reaches an arm in front of her. The engine looks new and shiny.
“Oil stick, there’s a gauge inside, but check it every morning after a long haul. Be sure you’re on a flat surface when you check it. Here’s a niff-noff storage area, for a rag and an extra quart. We put Synthetic Premium blend in. You have any serious problems, you call us first, okay? Card’s taped to the inside of the glove compartment door.” Paul then shows her the transmission stick, the brake fluid, the antifreeze reservoir, and the windshield washer container.
“Nothing computer on here. Old-fashioned roll-up windows, though we did install an a/c for you, and that back extra hatch on the cab is for the dog. You have two fuel tanks, a saddle,” he flips the front seat forward, showing her what she guesses is a gas tank, “And the back one.” He taps the driver’s side, just behind the cab. “Thirty-five gallons all told. The kayak fits in under the extra cab.”
“Kayak?” Tessa squeaks and peers into the bed of the truck where Paul has pointed. A brand new red Perception, with vest and paddle, are tucked neatly corner to corner. “I don’t know how to kayak.”
“Piece of cake,” Billy says, jumping out of the camper. “That is one sweet set up in there. Shower, toilet, kitchen. Sure you don’t want me to go with you?”
He rounds the front of the truck and is making his way to her. Paul starts the engine and Billy stops. He turns and lets out a long whistle while putting both hands on each of the front quarter panels. He leans in, absorbing the simplicity and beauty of the engine.
“Dude, that’s not a 390 is it?” he asks Paul.
Paul nods with a broad grin.
Great, Tessa thinks, guy talk time.
“That is cherry. Damn, you’d better hope old Aunt whoever is paying the gas for this.”
Before Tessa can ask any questions, a black 350 King Rancher pulls in front.
“My ride,” Paul explains. “But I have to show you how everything works in the camper. I’ll also leave a list of how you set up and tear down. And, if you’d like, we can take some time and go over the basics of backing this thing up. I noticed the parking lot next door, we can practice there.”
“I can show her all that, dude.” Suddenly Billy seems a little possessive.
Paul shakes his head. “The executor of the will, the lawyer, made it very clear what my obligations are. I have to follow them to the letter of the law, or I don’t get paid.”
Paul stands a full head taller than Billy, and the way he rolls his work shirt sleeves up past his finely muscled biceps, isn’t hard to look at either. She sees them flex just ever so slightly. Either that, or she just wants him to flex them.
“Billy, it’s okay.” She puts a hand on Billy’s forearm. “This is going to take a while, so why don’t I call you when we’re through?”
“Yeah,” Billy agrees, pushing his long locks from his eyes. “Do that. Call me. We’ll hit Centre Street café for dinner, k?”
He kisses her, longer than he needs to.
Paul, seemingly totally disinterested, wanders to the back of the trailer.
“Sweet fucking ride.” Billy sighs. “Wish I could go.”
Paul explains the propane igniter switches and the trailer’s water and waste system, and then walks her back to the pickup.
“Hop in, take me for a ride.”
“So the lawyer. You meet him?” Tessa asks, trying to take her mind off Paul’s arms and dimples while she starts the truck.
Paul nods. “Yeah. He’s seriously one scary looking dude isn’t he?”
“Totally.”
“Kind of creepy,” Paul adds.
So it isn’t just her.
“I’m gonna leave my cell phone too, cause you’re going to be in different time zones. Might be after business hours.” He opens the glove compartment and writes his number on the garage business card, left-handed.
Before Tessa can ask anything else, Paul instructs her on trailering and backing, high winds, the anti-sway bar, the electric brake system. All business and details. Tessa’s head is going to explode.
“Don’t worry, I made up a whole book.”
He reaches behind her and taps a binder riding on the back shelf that’s supposed to be Murphy’s bed. She senses his energy just from his arm being that close.
“Truck and trailer for dummies?” she jokes as she tries backing without swiveling her head.
Paul has told her she must rely on the mirrors, both the big rectangular part, and the little orb convex ones that show everything in miniature. Steer opposite to cock the trailer away, steer same curve to straighten it. When he is sure she is used to the truck and trailer together, he instructs her to back into a car space, even though the parking lot is empty.
“I want to see if you can get it between the lines, perfectly.”
She doesn’t get it the first time, but with his coaching, they end up laughing and she finally succeeds.
“You’re a quick learner,” Paul says. “You could get your commercial license and drive the big rigs down the highway.”
Tessa grimaces. “No, thank you.”
“So how did you get rooked into this?”
She shrugs. “Luck of the Irish.” They laugh again because of her dark skin and hair.
“C’mon,” he says. “Show me you can back it in your driveway. Just take the road like you own it. Traffic can wait. Drive into the opposite lane so you get the maximum angle you need to do it in one take.”
She finally accomplishes not hitting the house or backing over the neighbor’s lawn.
“There ya go,” he says. “A pro. Hey, I have one more thing to put in that binder. I’ll be right back.”
He jogs to the big black truck waiting for him and is there a few moments.
She runs her hand along the side of the truck, the shininess and the newness of it. How comfortable it felt to be behind the wheel, like she’d been driving it all her life. She walks alongside the ribbed trailer with the little slatted windows. A small Honda generator had been included for boon docking, whatever that is. She has a lot to read. Paul said there were all sorts of books in the rig under the seats.
He comes up behind her. “All set.” Then he smiles. “When is departure?”
“I have another week of school, then I promised my mom I’d visit with her. My lease is up in two weeks.”
“So . . . anytime for a drink?” he asks her directly.
“I think I can make some time.” She smiles.
HER BEST UNIVERSITY friend in the whole world, Dina, stops by before she has a chance to call Billy.
“Oh my gosh, this is it?” Dina stands a head taller than Tessa. She is slim and blonde with her long hair swaying down her back. She walks with a slight graceful angular walk. Tessa thinks she moves softly, like a crane. Dina would snort and say, “More like a girl with scoliosis.”
Dina is peering inside the trailer.
Tessa laughs. “Go on in, it’s not going to bite you.”
She follows her in. With two of them inside, the trailer seems to suddenly shrink.
Dina spies the queen-size bed and falls on it backward. “Wow, that’s even comfortable.”
“It has storage underneath.”
“I don’t care about th
e storage. Close the trailer door.” Dina stretches out her arms, grinning.
Tessa smiles, complies, and slides into Dina’s arms.
After they make love, Dina breathes into Tessa’s hair, “I wanted to be the first to do that.”
“You were the first a long time ago.” Tessa’s voice feels muffled between Dina’s skin and the comforter on the bed. Their clothes are everywhere.
“This place is a mess!”
“Thanks to you.”
“Is there a beer in the fridge?” Dina leans over to reach the refrigerator door.
“I don’t even know if it is on.”
“Oh look. Beer. The good kind.”
“No shit?” Maybe that’s what Paul left behind.
Dina removes the magnetic bottle opener on the front of the door and pops the beer open, letting the top fly into the middle of the trailer. They laugh. The beer is deliciously cold.
“I’m gonna miss you.” Dina pushes a lock of Tessa’s hair behind her ear.
“Come with me.”
Dina shakes her head as she takes another swig. “No can do. At least now. Maybe later in your trip? When you have to hit British Columbia. That would be fun.”
“Could you take that much time, two weeks in Canada with me? Maybe three?”
“Sure, that’s a couple months down the road. I’ll be free then. Doesn’t Billy want to go?” Dina smiles. Tessa sees a knowing look in her eyes.
“Billy.” Tessa sighs and rolls over on her back, her bare breasts exposed. “You know he’s sweet, he’s just . . .”
“So boring,” they say together.
“But you should have seen the delivery guy.”
“Someone I need to be jealous about?”
“As if.” Tessa shoves Dina, then grabs her blouse off the floor and puts it on.
“As if what?”
“Xander and you.”
Dina nods and drinks. “Well, Xander isn’t clueless about female parts.”
“And he’s hot.” Tessa takes the beer from Dina.
“He’s super-hot, but can he work?” That was Dina, always looking ahead. “I need a steady Eddie. Someone that’s going to be there in the long haul.”
“Don’t we all?”
“Mmm.” Dina finishes the beer. “At least we have each other.”
Chapter 4
TESSA’S BIG MORNING finally arrives. Packing stuff she wants for after the trip and selling or giving away things, becomes a sort of purging, an unexpected cleansing. Her senses are more alive, her eyes seem to let in more light. Even her body seems lighter.
She needs to stop at her mom’s, just north of Lansing, to pick up Murphy and then her trip officially begins.
Twenty minutes later, she pulls up to the white-washed two-story building, a late forties house, with a big front porch. She gulps. She’s going to miss 531 Broadway, home of her dreams and games and her childhood. Home of her beloved cherry tree. Just down the road from Mrs. Bender and her fifteen cats. Across the street from her lifelong best friend, Holly. Other than Eli, Holly is still her closest confidante and supporter. But Holly is in Europe right now—a Fulbright Scholarship to some veterinary school.
As soon as the truck is off, both Murphy and her mom burst from the front door. Murphy prances all around the truck joyfully as if looking for someone else. He totally ignores Tessa and she realizes he is looking for Aunt Sadie. Well, that made the most sense. He finally approaches her.
“I know I’m a poor substitute but will you allow me the next dance?” Tessa ruffles his long soft ears. He noses the door of the trailer, so Tessa unlocks the door and the deadbolt. Paul had instructed her to lock both when driving down the road and she promised she always would.
Murphy leaps into the rig. He looks around and sniffs. His tail wags as if he senses something familiar. He hops onto the bed. He lays down for a moment and then jumps off. He runs outside to the truck door and noses the handle. Tessa opens the passenger door and Murphy climbs up over the seat and onto the back cab bed made just for him. He lies down, looking perfectly at home. He jumps right back off and out of the truck to the tailgate and noses that too. Murphy doesn’t wait for Tessa to get it all the way open before he jumps up. He sniffs the kayak and looks at her like, “What is this?”
He puts one paw tentatively into the large open kayak, then another, then he gets in and lies down. Briefly. He stands up and, wagging his tail, returns to Tessa.
“I think he knows he’s going with you,” her mom says.
“Right?”
Her mom has Murphy’s day bed and dishes and Murphy watches as they load it in the trailer. Then he noses Tessa’s hand. Murphy sits, his eyes solemn.
“Do you know she’s not here anymore?” Tessa bends down and hugs him. “Do you know it’s just you and me now?”
“Part of me wants to go with you . . .” Her mom is petting Murphy too.
“Mom, I want to do this alone.”
“I know, baby. Some of it is selfish and part of it is . . . worry.”
“I have Aunt Sadie’s shotgun.” Tessa grins.
“Oh no.”
“Oh yes, I do. Mr. Forsythe insisted.”
“But you don’t know how to . . .”
“Paul took me to the gun range.”
“Paul?”
“The cute garage delivery guy.”
“Tessa you haven’t done anything with anyone have you?”
“Oh my god, Mom. I’m not going to tell you if I did or didn’t. Wow. You’re not like, channeling Jill are you?” Tessa sucks in her breath, immediately regretting her words.
“It’s just hard for me to realize you’re an adult.”
“Everyone else sees it.”
“And I promised I wouldn’t cry.”
Tessa hugs her. “It’s only twelve weeks, mom. A school semester is longer. I’ll be back the end of July, mid-August the latest. And we’ll talk every Wednesday. We can FaceTime. It was cool of Mr. Forsythe to give you Aunt Sadie’s iPad.”
For a creepy dude, he was thoughtful.
“Come in and have some food before you go.” Her mom puts her hand on Tessa’s shoulder and turns her toward their home.
Impatient to start, Tessa wants nothing more than to be on the road right now, but what’s another hour with her mom in the scheme of things?
BETH WATCHES HER only daughter leave. She tries not to cry. She puts on a brave face and hates her relatives for forcing this issue. Damn them and their greed. This one pure soul, who wouldn’t hurt anyone if she could help it, sent out, alone, on a task any of them could have done easily.
She knows their whispers, how her daughter has taken a leave from school, how Beth works two jobs while this girl fritters away her time. Beth remembers being nineteen. She remembers the angst of learning about her body, about college, about Gabe.
Her first meeting with Gabe had been so innocuous. She had been lying on the sheet she dragged everywhere so she could flop it on the ground and study in the sunshine. So she could flop it in someone’s living room and be at home. Wherever this sheet was and she on top of it, she was at home. It was her place in the world, this sheet.
She and her sheet were in the middle of the gardens at the university and someone blocked out the sun for the briefest second.
His smiling eyes, the curly topped hair, and his infectious gap-toothed grin caught her immediately.
“Mind if I sit?” he asked. “You know, I see you all over campus, and you never sit in a regular chair unless the teacher asks you to. Why is that?”
“I like to be grounded.” She laughed. “This blanket grounds me. I like being down here, next to the earth, my feet bare, the scent of the earth rising up to me.”
Gabe smiled. “My mom always called me a little heathen, because I’m the same way. I like being on the ground, or outdoors.”
It was that moment that Gabe caught her heart. There was no Mark, or any of the other boys she’d been dating. Within three months they married.<
br />
Beth finished Occupational Therapy school. Gabe finished his wildlife degree, but jobs were at a premium, so he worked construction, till something in his field opened.
But then, Beth was pregnant, and construction was paying more than any seasonal wildlife job.
When the twins were born, Beth insisted she wanted Mark as the godfather. Gabe agreed.
As the twins grew, Gabe noticed T was the most athletic. The most agile, the one most willing to climb a tree. Gabe couldn’t wait to take them hunting and fishing. To show them all he knew about the woods.
He was always in the leaves with them, tussling and shouting. Beth watched from her blanket as she read and heard their shouts of glee, and laughter and love.
Tessa always rose early, practically leaping out of bed every morning. As soon as there was a hint of sun it was as if every cell in her body expanded and inhaled and wanted to greedily drink in more daylight. Even in winter, Tessa was always the first awake. Her mom found her downstairs under the kitchen table, doodling on paper, little figures, dreams she was drawing “from memory,” she said.
She didn’t want food, she didn’t want breakfast, she just wanted more paper and crayons and chalks and pencils and paints. Later, in school, she discovered ink and specialized pens. While everyone else was enamored with game boys, phones, and laptops, Tessa was in the back drawing.
At first, the idea of school seemed fine. Her mom told her she’d be able to draw all day. It was not exactly true, but her first week of kindergarten, they did draw a lot. The school was practically kitty-corner to their house.
Her mom had walked her and Eli there the first two days. She showed them how to cross with the light at the busy corner. First straight down from their house. Wait for the light. Even when it was green look both ways because sometimes cars sped through lights. Then wait at the corner and turn left. Repeat.
This day, Eli stayed home with an upset tummy. Tessa had no idea that their mom watched every morning, just to be sure they were safe. At the first corner, by the boarding house, Tessa noticed the knot of kids on the side of the school.
The Urn Carrier Page 3