“How so?”
She smiles because Paul is seriously listening to her.
“Because, when I stand near them, they emanate. They’re like people giant trees, breathing, moving, like they could almost walk.”
“Wow. One of these days . . .”
“You’re going to get out of that garage and travel.”
“Yes! Now, tell me about the truck? How has it been running?”
“Perfectly. Do I need an oil change soon?”
“Truthfully? You can go five thousand miles; you’ll be all right.”
“How about the Canadian Rockies?”
“How far are you from there?”
“About a week. Maybe ten days.”
“Okay. Call me once you’re over the border, before you get on any twelve percent grades. It won’t cost more will it? From Canada?”
“Mr. Forsythe took care of all that. He arranged with the phone service.”
“Cool, dude. So . . .” Paul’s green eyes look directly at her. “Miss me?”
Tessa hesitates.
“Oh, I know, your heart belongs to someone else, but just for a moment let me pretend. Close your eyes and tell me.”
Tessa closes her eyes. She does like Paul. There’s something about him that intrigues her. She opens her mouth and closes it.
“What?” he asks.
“Is this like I’m imagining for the rest of my life?”
“Imagine for more than just one night.”
“Yes.” She smiles, opening her eyes.
“Ha! I knew it.”
“If you were a girl it would be better.”
“Oh, man . . . that’s just cold.”
She overhears voices in the background, teasing him.
“Oh Paulllllllll!”
“Where are you?”
“Knock it off,” he says to someone off screen. “Oh, just some douche at work.” He turns again and says to the voice off camera more than Tessa, “He forgets I can fire his ass.” He turns back to her. “Any problems on the road, I mean, with people?”
“Just Uncle Chuck.” She hesitates.
“What?”
“Sometimes I feel someone is following me.”
“Are they?” Paul asks sharply.
“No. I don’t think so. Chuck creeped me out a little.”
“You want me to break his legs?”
“No-ho, Silly.”
“I could scare him.”
“Then you’d be in jail, really? Do you want that?”
“No, but I’d tell him to quit fucking with you.”
“You’re sweet. I don’t believe I’ve ever had someone offer to kick someone’s ass for me. That’s almost better than a date and chocolates.”
“Now you’re just messing with me.”
She breaks into an open smile.
“Damn. Does it help if I say,” Paul whispers, “that deep down I always wanted to be a lesbian?”
“Okay, that almost tops breaking someone’s legs.” She pauses. “You could have anyone you wanted. I’m just some sort of out of reach thing for you.”
“It’s not that. At all. And if you weren’t in love, I would seriously date you.”
“You’re good for my ego.”
“Yeah, well, mine’s taking a beating. You said you fall for someone’s eyes and their soul. Is that true?”
“Most of the time. The bond seems deepest with women.”
“I like your eyes and your soul.”
Tessa doesn’t know what to say.
“Sorry,” Paul apologizes.
“No, it’s okay. I just don’t know what to do with that.”
“Just hear it, I guess.”
“Paul?”
“Yes?”
“Be my friend. Keep being my friend.”
He hesitates and then just says, “I will, Tessa. Bye.”
“Bye.”
TESSA MAKES HER way up the California coastline, and her next drop is near the border of Oregon in a place called Stout Grove. A different species of redwood from the sequoias grows in this ancient coastal redwood grove along the Smith River.
She and Murphy have the place to themselves. It’s late afternoon as they walk and the sun slants into the mystical depths of the trees spiraling above them. Tessa imagines Jack and the Beanstalk, climbing into the heavens, into the canopy above where western songbirds nestle and sing. The winter wren being the loudest.
Here too, she is so small, surrounded by such giant living things, beings that have been around for upwards of two thousand years. What have they seen, felt, and lived? She tries to imagine the thousands of creatures that rely on them for their environment and living space through the centuries. She is having difficulty marrying her concept of time with these trees.
She finds the creek, lined with stones, leading to the river, and a great blue heron lifts off in front of them. A rock piper skitters along the shoreline, switching back and forth, looking for insects and prey under the various stones. Murphy wades into the creek water and his long back leg hairs waft with the current as the creek feeds into the larger, faster, river water.
Tessa crouches down and spills a bit of Aunt Sadie into the creek and watches the lighter ashes carry along the surface as they twirl and spin, turning into the stronger current.
The heavier ash, as always, sinks to the bottom.
She makes her way around the bend and sprinkles some more—the fast-moving current taking it downriver, the larger ashes disappearing into deep crevices.
How can no one else be here?
Tessa decides to camp and paint here for a few days, before moving north to her last mail drop, Florence, Oregon.
Chapter 18
THE JESSIE HONEYMAN State campground, even in late summer, has a lush tropical environment. She levels the rig, detaches, and drives north to the Siuslaw North Jetty.
Once they are on the vast expanse of beach, Tessa tosses the Frisbee for Murphy. The whole coastline in Oregon is public domain, protected from developers. It’s as pristine as the redwoods; people taking care of their beaches.
Murphy is a natural Frisbee player. He leaps magically and twists and runs, fetching the Frisbee and dropping it at her feet before hightailing it down the wide beach for another throw. He sure doesn’t act like an old dog.
Tessa spies a wall of sand with initials cut into it.
“PM and JM” in a heart shape. “FF / MG” and “SC loves PC.”
Tessa stops dead in her tracks. What are the chances?
Sadie Cain loves Percy Cain. Tessa knows logically that these can’t be Sadie and Percy’s initials; it’s just a coincidence. She wonders, out of the dozen initials scratched into this sand wall, how many are still together. How long can these initials possibly stand the wind or rising tide? Still some of them seem like they’ve been here more than a few days.
Below the sand initials in the wall is a fossilized Canada goose. Tessa inches closer and pokes it with a stick. Murphy pays no attention to it, trotting right by and finding a brush pile to urinate on. The fossilized goose is actually a piece of driftwood, perched like a bird reposing in the sand. It is hauntingly authentic.
As the sun sets, the wind whips in over the Pacific Ocean, flapping at Tessa’s hiking slacks and whipping Murphy’s long fur.
“See you on the flip side!” Tessa calls. That night she paints the piece of driftwood and the initials wall. In her picture she adds, TW and DM. She can hope.
Tessa opens a journal from 1968.
Percy says that being with B and F makes him so alive. I am a little jealous, but aren’t I the one that instigated all of this? Didn’t I say, we should try? In the heat of the moment I was caught up by B’s intelligence, her great smile. Do all couple’s get restless, or is it just us?
Whoa. Tessa flips forward a few pages, but no, there they are on summer vacation in Zion. She flips back near the front. Nothing about a B or an F there.
There is an entry that reads:
&nbs
p; Percy says that a man has needs and it’s his wife’s duty to fulfill those needs. I asked him what archaic Neanderthal culture did he come from and this just proves men are two steps lower on the food chain; Einstein be damned! If they had let women into schools and hierarchy for the last few centuries we could be flying rockets and creating technology too. Oh we had it out we did. As much as I love him, some days I could just hate him. I swear. It’s the little things that tell the big things about somebody. Sometimes he’s just so self-absorbed. Either that, or his little head is doing all the talking for his big head.
Yikes! Tessa does some quick math and discovers in 1968 was fourteen years into their marriage. She’s a little ill that they weren’t getting along. But they must have made it through. They were together till the end.
She finds more entries, some are happy, and some aren’t.
Wasn’t it bad enough we lost JFK in 1963? What are all these assassinations? Martin Luther King, Bobby Kennedy barely two months apart? Riots everywhere from Detroit to LA in 1967. This beloved country torn apart. And why, in God’s name, are we still bringing home boys in body bags from Vietnam? God, these hawkish men and their war politics. B says we have an obligation to fight for women’s rights. I agree with her. I’ve been fighting for women’s rights since I was out of the womb!
Tessa reads far into the night, but doesn’t come across any references to who B or F are.
Chapter 19
“OH MY GOD! You’re here.”
Tessa has flowers from every destination they would have seen together if Dina had arrived in San Francisco. She has flowers from the river by Stout Grove, California, pinyon pinecones from New Mexico, wildflowers from Florence, Oregon, and many other little bluebells and tiny greens along the way.
Their hug is intense, and Dina kisses her neck. “I’m so glad to finally hold you.”
She pushes Tessa back a little and looks into her eyes. “How are you? Anymore Uncle Chunk fiascos?”
“I’m okay. I’ve been waking up in the middle of the night, but then I fall asleep again.”
“Your eyes do look tired. Once you show me how to drive the truck and camper, I can help there, if you want.”
“Really?”
“Of course, baby.”
They walk to the parking structure.
“Where’s Murphy?” Dina asks.
“I left him in the camper. It’s cool enough and we ran this morning. How about returning there and touring tomorrow? If that’s okay with you?”
“Definitely. I’m beat. I could use a good stiff drink and put my feet up. Believe it or not, Dr. Lynch sent me with a couple of research items to finish. It won’t take long. I can do them anytime along the trip, as long as there’s Wi-Fi that shouldn’t be too much of a problem. It’s just huge he trusts me with it.”
“I don’t really have anything liquor wise, just a couple of beers in the fridge.”
“No worries. We’ll pass a store.”
Tessa grins. “By the luck of the Gods I do have another treat you will enjoy.”
Dina eyes widen. “Are you kidding me? You scored on the road?”
“Not exactly. I’ll tell you on the way.”
AT CAMP, AFTER formally hugging on Murphy and playing with him along the water, Dina pulls Tessa into the rig.
“Back to where we left off.” Her eyes are bright and full of love.
Tessa teases her a little, standing off. “No drink? No putting your feet up? No writing a research paper for Dr. Lynch?”
Dina growls and grabs her. “Come here, you minx.”
When Tessa wakes, she’s alone in the rig and for a moment, she is totally disoriented. Did she dream being with Dina? Is she really still in Washington? Murphy’s tail thumps on the floor as he hears her stir.
He pokes his head over the covers as he sits up and licks her hand.
“Tessa?”
Dina! It’s not a dream.
Tessa throws the covers off and dresses hurriedly.
She scrambles outside.
No one’s there.
“Yoo-hooo.” Dina’s voice comes from above her.
Tessa turns. Dina holds out her hand as she stands on the roof. “Come on up, the view is gorgeous.”
With some trepidation, Tessa climbs onto the roof. Dina had placed the rag rug on the new rubber roof and then considerately had put the two low camp chairs over the rug.
“You passed out, baby girl.” Dina smiles.
“I guess I needed that.” Tessa grins, despite her qualms of being on the roof.
Dina offers her a cocktail in a plastic martini glass. “For you. Only one drink per roof adventure.”
They watch the sun begin its descent over Vancouver Island on the other side of the Straits of Juan de Fuca.
“How awesome is this, sweetheart?” Dina whispers. “I love you so much.” She kisses Tessa on the cheek.
Tessa continues looking at the scenery, dropping her hand till it finds Dina’s and clasping it.
“For a moment inside, I didn’t know where I was. I was afraid I dreamt it all up, that you weren’t really here.”
“Baby, I’m sorry I was delayed, but I’m here now. I’m really, really here.”
Tessa smiles. “You most certainly are.”
AFTER DINNER, DINA offers to do dishes. She’s done her part, keeping the rig clean, sweeping, keeping her items stowed neatly in one corner. Tessa believes that if they can cohabitate in less than two hundred square feet, anywhere else will be a breeze.
She suddenly realizes Dina is letting the water run in between rinsing the dishes. She comes up behind Dina and circles her arms around her.
“Baby?”
“Yes, love?”
“Thank you for doing the dishes, this is awesome.” Then she reaches through and turns off the water. “I didn’t explain that we don’t have full hook ups here. Just the water and electric. So, when we run water, it fills the waste tanks.”
It takes a moment for this information to register.
“I was doing them wrong.” Dina is horrified.
“No, no no. You were doing them beautifully.” Tessa turns Dina to face her. “Believe me, I had to learn all these things myself. I’ve screwed up so many times. One time the toilet almost swished up all over the floor.”
“Ugh. Grotesque.”
“No shit. Pun intended.”
They laugh.
“And I don’t put toilet paper in the tank. I have a wastebasket for paper.”
Dina’s eyes widen.
“TP messes with the gauges, hard to clean out.”
“Geez T being in a rig is kind of barbaric. You have to watch every little thing.”
“It does make us aware of how much electricity is used, if we’re only on battery power, or using the solar panel. Rationing water, rationing waste.”
“Forces us to have a smaller footprint, huh?”
“That’s it.”
“Did I over fill the tanks?”
“Well, let’s see.” Tessa shows Dina the light panel. “Nope, we’re still fine till we pull out of here Tuesday. Then we’ll dump the waste tanks, and make the rig as light as possible, except for good fresh water.”
On Tuesday, Dina dutifully don’s rubber gloves to help Tessa.
“You don’t have to do this,” Tessa says again.
“No. I want to.” Dina has a stubborn streak that Tessa admires.
“Well, the first part is the worst. Best to try and be upwind.”
Tessa shows Dina how to secure the sewer line at both ends so there’s no snaky surprises, like what happened to her the first time.
She pulls the big valve and the sewage rushes out.
“Oh, yeah. I can see how that would spew all over.”
“Now we rinse it out.”
“With all that kitchen water I used. Let me do that part?”
Tessa steps aside.
Dina pulls the smaller drain handle. “Well, that’s sort of cool.”
&nb
sp; “They have a water line here, just for cleaning.”
After they’ve rinsed everything off and stowed it, Tessa pulls the rig ahead and makes one last check of the steps, the awning, and that the kayak is secure.
“You’re a pro.” Dina smiles. “Want me to take the first leg of the trip?”
“Maybe this afternoon?”
“Cool, I’ll get me some big rig driving in. How far are we going today?”
“Well, I enjoy the state campgrounds and there’s one just before we cross the border, near Wiser Lake. We can’t cross with any contraband.”
“Good point.”
AT WISER LAKE, Dina and Tessa watch a kingfisher splash into the water and back out.
“This is so cool,” Dina says. “We don’t see anything like this at school, do we?”
Tessa shakes her head. “I wonder what the totem is of a kingfisher.”
Dina punches on her iPhone. “It’s a symbol of peace and prosperity. Very cool.”
They smile, hugging their knees and watching until the day dips into evening.
Tessa is sleeping in late, more than she likes. She’s a different person with Dina, whose sexual appetite seems endless. Together their lovemaking is slow, delicious, charged with their friendship and love.
Dina is softly kissing her all around but nowhere near her most sensitive areas. Dina looks back and smiles, her hair is pulled up in a half twist and she slowly lowers herself to Tessa’s mouth. Tessa breathes her in and softly begins kissing and Dina rises, just out of reach.
“No fair.” Tessa growls and brings Dina’s hips lower to her. Together they dance like this, teasing and licking, Dina’s breasts intermittently brushing against Tessa’s tummy—her hard nipples exciting Tessa. It’s a dance, a duet, and sometimes a duel to see who will succumb first, give way and let the other take her. So far Dina has gotten her way every time.
And this time it’s no different.
When Tessa climaxes, Dina gently moves a finger into her anus.
Tessa screams into a pillow, her mind, her soul are exploding to the stars.
It’s several minutes before she’s back in her body, on earth.
The Urn Carrier Page 13