by Carol Grace
"How much are we offering?"
"Let's talk about it later. I have to go to the office, write up the offer as well as our agreement and see about some other business."
"I'm sorry, I've taken up too much of your time."
"I owed it to you. You bailed me out this week. I'll have our bookkeeper draw up a check for you today. I can bring it by. Are you free for dinner tonight? We should celebrate."
"If you want to come to my house, I could make something."
"Aren't you tired of cooking? Stupid question. Would shrimp puffs be on the menu?"
"They could be."
"You're on," he said with a grin, and shook her hand.
Jack dropped Ellie at her apartment. Before he drove away, he watched her climb the stairs to her door. As she went inside, she turned to look at him. It was as if they were connected in some physical way, by a cord or an invisible wire. There was a little smile on her lips that sent a rush of longing through him so strong he almost parked the car and went after her. He wanted to continue where they'd left off. He wanted to hold her, to feel her breasts pressed against his chest, to plunder her mouth with his tongue with no audience around and no time limit.
Hugging and kissing her in front of the fish shack today didn't satisfy him. He wanted more. All it had done was send his libido into overdrive. But for now, he knew he had to put some space between them. Just enough to let her catch her breath. But not too much space. Just until dinner, when he'd take her breath away again.
Reluctantly Jack drove away. He had the feeling he was standing on the edge of a cliff, in danger of falling over into a deep canyon that he'd never climb out of. What had he done? He'd told her he'd only invest in her if he got his capital, which he hadn't, but what difference did it make? It was coming out of his pocket, one way or another. He could afford it. He wouldn't have to sell the house or declare bankruptcy, but what had made him do it? He'd never done anything like this before.
As he'd told her, he didn't take chances in his private life, and he didn't take chances like this in his professional life, either. Banking on an unknown. Betting on a really risky venture like hers.
He wasn't pleased or particularly surprised at his father's arrival at his office, but he wished it could have waited until he was done drawing up the offer to buy the fish shack. He already knew what his father would say. So he wasn't going to tell him what he'd done. He shoved the papers aside and greeted his father.
"What happened?" Spencer asked his son, as he closed the door behind him and took a seat facing Jack's desk.
"You mean the seminar."
"Of course I mean the seminar. Everything was going so well. Everything looked good. Then bang, it was all over."
Jack shrugged. "It happens."
"Not to me. Not to you. It was that night in San Jose, wasn't it? Where were you when the accident happened?"
"As it happens I was only a few miles away," Jack said as calmly as possible.
"The question is why weren't you with the group?"
"I'm not a babysitter."
Spencer stood and gaped at his son. "That's your answer?"
"That's it." Jack managed a half smile, which only enraged his father.
"This has something to do with that woman, doesn't it?" he shouted. "Haven't I told you…"
"Yes, Dad, you've told me. Don't mix business with pleasure. But you never told me what I was missing."
"Missing? You'll be missing out on your future if you keep this up."
"You think so? Maybe I don't want the same future you have. Maybe I want a different life than you had."
"You're making a big mistake if you choose a woman over your own interests."
"The same mistake you made?" Jack asked.
"Yes, if you want to know."
"I'm sorry, Dad. I never realized you'd suffered until now. And I appreciate your advice. I really do. But this is my life. Ellie is an exceptional woman. She came through for me when I needed her and now I'm coming through for her. I'm using my own money to help her start her own restaurant."
"What? That doesn't make any kind of sense. Are you in love with her?"
"No. Yes. I don't know. Love has nothing to do with it. All I know is that I have to do it. I want to do it."
His father shook his head. "I hope you don't lose everything. And I don't mean the money." Spencer turned and left but not before Jack saw a suspicious sheen of moisture in his father's eyes. His father crying? What was the world coming to?
Jack sat in his chair, twisting a lead pencil in his fingers and staring out the window at the cars on the bridge without seeing anything.
Was his father right? Had he made a horrendous mistake? If he had, it was his to make. His money to lose. His woman to love. Love? He wouldn't know love if it hit him in the face. He had no idea how it felt. But just for the record, he'd like a shot at it before he was too old. One thing for sure, he didn't want to end up bitter and alone like his father. Oh, Spencer would never be poor, and no other woman would ever take advantage of him. He'd made sure of that.
Jack tried to concentrate on work. He talked on the phone, sent messages, wrote up a report. At five o'clock he walked out to the lobby. Mary, the receptionist was just leaving.
"Did my father leave?"
"Yes, Jack. He walked out with the blond woman who came to see you."
Chapter Nine
Jack felt like he'd been kicked in the gut. "No one came to see me."
"Well, a woman was here, but after she talked to your father, she said, 'Never mind.'"
"Oh, God," he said. "I'm sorry. I should have called you."
"It's all right. There was nothing I could have done." But there was something he could do now. He drove to her house. He knocked on her door. And waited an eternity for her to answer while he worried that she had left the country, gone to start a restaurant in Tijuana. If he only knew what his father had said to her, then he could be prepared. When she finally came to the door, he heaved a sigh of relief. She hadn't gone anywhere. Not yet. She looked pale and composed, and that scared him more than if she'd been hopping mad, screaming and carrying on. But that wasn't her way. There was no smell of food, no warmth in the house. So much for dinner. That invitation was obviously canceled. The atmosphere in her house matched the look on her face.
"You lied to me," she said, her lips barely moving as she said the words. "The deal fell through."
"Yes, but it doesn't matter. It wasn't your fault."
"It was my fault for taking you to the circus that night. That did it, didn't it? Your absence turned the investors off."
"I don't know. I'll never know. It's over and done with. It's time to move on. Anyway, it was my idea to go to the circus," he said. "I made the choice, not you. Now I'm offering you the money out of my pocket, just like I'd planned."
"If you'd gotten the deal. You didn't. Well, it's my choice to turn down your offer. We had a deal. I knew what I was getting into. You're offering me charity and I won't take it."
"Why not? I thought you wanted this restaurant more than anything."
"Not more than being lied to. What kind of a business relationship is based on a lie? Don't answer that. I don't want to know how you do business. I heard quite enough from your father."
"What did he tell you?"
"Nothing that I already didn't know. Except for the part about the deal falling through. He said you're a chip off the block, that you're a workaholic and any woman who fell for you would be out of her mind."
Jack laughed mirthlessly. "What did you say?"
"I assured him he had no worries on that score. That our relationship was strictly business."
"So you assured him you are hot interested in me in any way except as a potential investor."
"No, that's wrong. I'm no longer interested in you as anything at all," she said, as bright spots of color appeared in her cheeks.
"I don't get it. Why won't you take my money? What have you got to lose?"
/> "My self-respect."
"You think you'll lose your self-respect by taking my money to start a restaurant?" he asked incredulously. "It's the same money as before. What's the difference?" But he knew what the difference was, and he realized now he should have told her the truth. But the result would have been the same. She would have turned him down. If it hadn't been for his father…
"There's a big difference and you know it. You yourself told me you were not in the business of investing in restaurants. You said I was doomed."
"That was before I knew you. Before I knew what a great cook you are and how determined you are."
"Yes I am. And I'm determined not to let you give away your money on something you don't believe has a chance of success. Now if you'll excuse me…" She looked down at his foot which he'd planted firmly in the doorway. "I'm not going to argue with you anymore."
"And you're not going to invite me in, either, are you?" he said. If she would just give him a chance to explain. If she'd give him a chance to tell her how he felt about her. That is, if he knew how he felt about her. But the look on her face, the way her nose was scrunched up as if she'd smelled something bad told him this was not a good time. When would be a good time? Tomorrow? The next day? Or when he figured out how he felt and what he was going to do about it. He didn't know, but he knew he had to keep trying. There was too much unresolved stuff between them to walk out of her life like this.
"Okay," he said as calmly as he could while damping down the storm brewing in his head, while stifling all the things he wanted to say but couldn't. "We'll talk about this later."
She opened her mouth to say something, but she didn't. It was just as well. He didn't want to hear her say there was no point in talking about it now or later. He didn't want her to shut him out of her life before he figured out what part he wanted to play in it.
"Wait," he said as she was closing the door. "What are you going to do now?"
"I'm going back to work. I'm going to save my money and when I have enough I'm going to start my own restaurant. By myself. On my own terms." Her eyes were blazing as she closed the door, no, slammed the door in his face. The only thing he could do was to leave.
He'd just started the engine of his car when his cell phone rang. He was not in the mood to talk to anyone, especially not his father. But sooner or later he'd have to. As much as he wanted to, he couldn't avoid the man forever.
"You think I'm interfering in you life," his father said.
Jack heaved a sigh. What could he say? "It's all right, Dad. Let's forget it happened."
"I can't. I've been thinking. Just because I made mistakes, doesn't mean you have to. It's too late for me to change, but not for you. Anyway I have to apologize."
"It's okay, really. She would have found out sooner or later."
"Nevertheless, I want to make it up to you."
"It won't do any good. She won't listen to me and she won't listen to you. She's very proud and she wants to do things her way. Let it go."
"Of course, if that's what you want."
"That's what I want." Jack hung up and drove away.
Ellie stood at the window watching Jack drive away. She blinked back the tears. Thank God he'd left before she started to cry. He would have gotten the wrong idea. The idea that she was suffering. Of course she was sorry the restaurant fell through, but she was even sorrier that Jack couldn't level with her. She cared about him. She wanted him to get what he wanted. But what was that? A sailboat? When she'd first asked him, he said more of the same. What kind of a goal was that?
Finding that restaurant, sharing the discovery with Jack, imagining the possibilities, picturing herself in the kitchen turning out warm chicory salad with wild mushrooms, or at the door, welcoming customers, sharing the success with Jack, counting up the night's profits with Jack. Celebrating with Jack. Those were just dreams. She'd been crazy to think they would come true. They'd all come crashing down today and that hurt. It hurt, as if someone had driven a spike deep in her heart.
Meeting Jack's father had opened her eyes. He'd told her that the deal had fallen through and, in so many words, that Jack had lied to her. Of course this was all in the guise of being friendly and helpful. But it sent her into a state of shock. She stood there in the lobby staring at Spencer Martin. Wishing she'd never come to the office. Wishing she could tune out his words. But unable to move or leave because she knew he spoke the truth.
"What can I say? Jack is a playboy. But you must know that by now. He's subject to weakness where women are concerned," Spencer said. "Can't help himself. I understand because I'm the same way. He might offer you money, but there will be strings attached, and I wouldn't want to see you get hurt. I'm no analyst, but I suspect this is due to his mother leaving. I did my best, but he can't resist a pretty face, and you, my dear, have a very pretty face, plus you fulfill a man's fantasy—food and love in one package."
"But I don't…"
"Of course you don't love him. And he doesn't love you. But people get swayed by emotion and think they're in love when they're just in lust. I know because it happened to me and Jack's mother. Take advice from an old man, and stay away from Jack. For your own good. He will try to give you money under the guise of helping you, thinking that will buy your love, or attention, or whatever you want to call it, but I can tell you are not the type to be bought."
She'd come away dazed and hurt. Of course she wouldn't take the money if the deal had fallen through. Of course she couldn't be bought. Jack knew this and yet he went along with it; he went with her, participated in her dream, acted as though it was a done deal. Why? What did he really hope to get out of it?
The next day Ellie went back to Hostess Helpers. She didn't expect a warm welcome. She didn't expect anyone to say, "I told you so," either, since they didn't know the story of her dashed hopes, and she certainly didn't expect the place to be in chaos.
Gwen barely looked up when Ellie walked in the door. If only the atmosphere in the shop matched the sunny skies outside.
"This is the thanks I get?" Gwen yelled, seemingly oblivious to Ellie's arrival. She was aiming her remarks at May, who was standing with her back to the window, arms crossed over her waist, a look of defiance on her face. "After all I've done for you."
"I appreciate it, Mother," May said, but she didn't sound appreciative at all. "But I have to make this decision on my own."
"You don't have to do anything of the kind. I know what you're doing. You're giving up. There's no shame in being single at twenty-four. Look at Ellie."
May looked, so did April who was sitting at the desk, which was piled high with bills and requisition forms.
"She has no possibilities at all, but is she giving up and settling for someone beneath her? Did she let one night at the symphony turn her head? No, she's back here to work today, just as we knew she would be."
Ellie wondered what on earth they were talking about. Of course they expected her back at work today. But the part about no possibilities? She wanted to step into the middle of the room and shout, "Stop!" She wanted to tell them she'd turned down a restaurant of her own. She wanted to tell them that even though Jack was the quintessential society playboy, he'd taken her to the circus and he'd kissed her. And then he'd offered her money out of his own pocket to start a restaurant. What would they say to that? Probably something like, "Are you crazy for turning him down? Have you lost her mind? What were you thinking? Now what are you going to do?"
It was good that she held her tongue. She didn't want to hear anyone cast doubts on her sanity just when she was wondering about it herself.
"Tell her, Ellie, tell her she's crazy," Gwen said, leveling a steady glare at her stepdaughter.
"I have no idea what you're talking about. I just got here."
"This one—" Gwen pointed one bony finger at May "—wants to get married to the personal trainer at the health club that I paid good money for them to join." Here Gwen's gaze swept over both of her daughters. "So they
could meet someone suitable." She didn't have to say what suitable meant. It meant someone with money. She turned to Ellie. "Do you know how much a personal trainer makes?"
Ellie shook her head. "I didn't know you worked out," she said to May.
"I don't. That's what he loves about me. I'm not all muscled." She smiled shyly.
"But how…"
"How did they meet? Good question. Tell her, May."
"Mother won't admit it, but it was all because of her. She's the one who insisted we go to the club. I never wanted to exercise, and I still don't. Well, there I was trying to figure out the stupid treadmill machine when Danny came over to help me. One thing led to another and now we're engaged."
"I didn't even know you'd met someone," Ellie said. "You never said anything."
"They were keeping it a secret," April said from behind the desk. "Even from me, her own sister." She frowned and shuffled the papers on the desk. "Now who's going to do all the work?"
Ellie wanted to remind them that neither of them had done any work to begin with, so why worry now, but she kept her mouth closed. She didn't want to add flames to the fire in the room.
"Enough of this," Gwen said. "Until she actually gets married, she's part of the team. Look at this calendar." She pointed to the chalkboard on the wall that was full of parties, dinners and receptions scribbled in under the dates. "Because of Ellie, we're backed up. All right, everyone, let's get to work."
And so went the week. And the week after that. Ellie went through the motions, but she couldn't help thinking of the time she'd spent at Jack's. Instead of taking orders, she'd been in charge. Then there was Jack. Ellie knew she'd done the right thing by turning down Jack's offer, but there were times, like the catered lunch right down the street from his house, when she was up to her ears in the dough for individual meat pies and her sisters were their usual helpless worst. Gwen was outside having a cigarette, and as the hour approached to begin serving and the pies refused to brown, Ellie's stomach was in knots from nerves. She wondered if maybe she'd been a little too hasty in refusing Jack's generous offer.