Nicole sighed helplessly. “You are…impossible to figure out. I will give you that.”
Nick winced. “Well, I guess that’s not the worst thing you could say after all this.”
“No it’s not. You’re also infuriating as hell,” she replied, hopping down. “Now, stand still and close your eyes.”
Nick frowned but did as he was told. “If I open them and your gone, I’ll underst—” His words had halted as her hands grasped his collar, and her lips touched his. In only five or so seconds, she let him go, but stayed close enough to breathe her in yet again. “You should be sorry,” she whispered. “But…it was really sweet too. I will admit that. But that’s all you’re getting.”
She turned and picked up her purse from the stage. She took his hand as she said, “Come on, I’ll drive you home.”
Chapter 18
Heart Strings
Nicole tried to keep her eyes on the road, but couldn’t help stealing a glance at Nick. His presumptuous actions had really irked her, and yet… He currently looked lost in a daydream and wore the most unashamed grin she had ever seen. It didn’t seem arrogant, though. That seemed to have disappeared after her kiss.
Another kiss. Was that why he looked so happy now? The thought both warmed her heart and gave her a chill. It was meant to be a thank you, a full stop on the “Let’s just be friends” point she’d been trying to make. But it seemed he, and if she was honest with herself, she, had felt something more than she had planned. She could still remember the goose bumps spread over her forearms as their lips touched.
This wasn’t good. She shouldn’t be kissing students. She needed to keep her wits. There was no way that this was a good idea. Maybe if Nick had been ten years older. Maybe if she didn’t happen to work at the very school he was a student at. Maybe if the whole episode in her past had never happened. But she couldn’t afford this hiccup in life right now. Anyway, it would be completely unethical. Things were complicated enough as it was, and there was no room to even begin to think about what else he could do with such an amazing mouth. Stop it! she screamed at herself.
“So…what did you think of my speech?” Nicole asked, trying to change her own internal subject.
“You saw the standing ovation you got, didn’t you?” Nick replied.
“I’m asking you what you thought.”
“I’m not sure. I mean I thought you were great, but some stuff you said about leadership I didn’t understand.”
“Oh really? Like what?”
“Well, you remember how I told you my dad was sort of…nobility, so to speak? I suppose in his surroundings, he could’ve been considered one of those true leaders you were talking about. I mean, admittedly I was at boarding school for most of my life, so I never really saw him conduct business, but he must have had that charismatic spark you spoke of. The commanding presence. After all, he was responsible for dozens of men, but also their partners and children. His choices affected more than just the people under him, but also generations after as well. And he was really successful for a lot of years. But in the end, those people he had looked after for so long ended up killing him. He was even warned before it happened, and I guess he just ignored everything. It seemed like he’d maybe lost the spark? He certainly didn’t have any of the likeability he’d once had. In fact, I’d grown to hate him and his oppressive attitude. But after hearing your speech…I’m wondering if it’s possible for someone to become a bad leader, after supposedly being a good one?”
“I don’t know how well I can answer that since I don’t really know all the circumstances. But from my perspective, it doesn’t necessarily make him a bad leader. Maybe a less good one. Anything that rises can fall, yeah? Studies have shown that people can’t really lose charisma just like that. It takes something more. Like maybe the individual is struggling with conflicting values within themselves. There was an article I quoted on one of my assignments, from the Charisma Today website. I remember it well. “It is quite possible that charisma could become latent over time, but not lost, if the charismatic has a paradigm shift in beliefs and motivation. Perhaps that’s what happened with your dad? Maybe he really was listening to the people around him, but doubted himself? I can’t say. But it sounds like he was a great man in his way, even just for a time.”
Nick seemed to shift uncomfortably in his seat. “Surely a true leader can confront their own weakness and defeat something like that?”
“I wouldn’t say it works that way. You might have the wrong idea of power. A true leader knows what they oppose and stands up to it anyway. It can be a range of things, even if it’s their own weaknesses.”
“So weakness lies inside true leaders as well? I know you said earlier they aren’t perfect, but that’s not the same thing, right?”
The tone of his question was puzzling. She got a hint of desperation in there. Wow…he must really have loved and lost faith in his father. “Of course it does, and no it’s not the same thing. Well, let me ask this. How would you want to be remembered by your loved ones after you’ve gone? What do you want your legacy to be?”
Nick pursed his lips, contemplating his answer before answering. “I just want to mean something to someone. Of course I want to travel and build a career and all that, but really isn’t that just icing on the cake? The real life essence is finding something or someone that ignites your passion for life.”
“Nick, believe me, that’s all very nice but you shouldn’t be thinking that way, in my opinion anyway. A loving partner is a wonderful thing, but if you’re not comfortable within yourself, no other person is going to be able to fix that for you.”
She looked sideways at Nick and he nodded, understanding. “You’re right, you know. This counselling thing has worked well for you, I think,” he replied with a little smile.
Nicole snorted. “Heh, thanks. I did work really hard on it.”
“Your advice just really rings true to me. I guess the thing is, I am afraid of becoming like my dad.”
“You mean taking over the…family business, or whatever it is?”
“No.” Nick shook his head. “That’s never been in the cards and never will be. I mean having a situation be right in front of him, or all around him and him being totally unable to see it. I don’t want to end up blind like that, having never taken a chance to break free, take a risk. I don’t want to wake up as a lonely old man with nothing left to give to the world.”
They came to a red light. “My personal trainer used to say, it’s ok to be defeated by your opponent. Don’t get defeated by fear.”
Nicole patted Nick’s hand in comfort. “If you don’t want to be your father, you don’t have to be. All you have to do is figure out who you are, what you stand for and what you don’t. I have faith in you.”
Nick had gently gripped her fingers. She now found herself in a strange position. They were both stroking each other’s hand with their thumbs.
The car behind them beeped loudly, waking Nicole up from her semi-trance. She snatched her hand out of his and put the car into gear, accelerating rapidly. No. No! She had to correct this.
“Look… About the kiss.”
Nick folded his hands in his lap and grinned dreamily. “Don’t worry, I won’t tell anyone about it. I mean I will tell myself sometimes, but I won’t believe it.”
“I just mean…I shouldn’t have done it. I think it was a mistake. They were a mistake.”
“A mistake…”
“I feel like I’ve been leading you on, even though I explained why nothing can happen. Like I said before, we’re just friends and that’s all. But friends don’t kiss, not like that. It was wrong of me to be putting out such mixed signals. I can’t expect you to forget about me if I keep going on like that, so I’m sorry.”
“No need to apologise. If you hate something, don’t want something or are afraid, it’s all the same outcome isn’t it?”
“I don’t hate you,” Nicole said.
“I meant if you hated
kissing me. If it wasn’t as great for you as it was for me. That being the case, it hurts the old ego, but at least it’s true, which is what you were talking about tonight. It’s cool, I get it.”
“That’s got nothing to do with it.” Nicole stopped the car just outside the driveway of his cousin’s apartment. She needed him to understand. She liked it. Ok, she loved it. The fact is that he gave her butterflies. But she had been hurt before. The way she had gotten out of that is by living her life to a schedule and with focus. Work. Career. Study. Achieving her goals. She had avoided all distractions, namely dating, ever since. The best part was, it wasn’t something she felt she missed. Until now. She would never forget the way he looked at her that first day. She had never felt so beautiful before, and he couldn’t even utter a cohesive sentence. It was just his eyes. People can go their whole lives without experiencing a moment in time like that.
But still, it made no difference. She would most probably be fired for just kissing him, let alone anything else. Why the hell can’t she just cut loose?
Hell, she already knew the answer to that. She didn’t really want to.
She turned in her seat to talk to Nick properly, but he had already undone his seatbelt.
“It’s fine,” he said, but he certainly didn’t look it. His eyes were closed so hard they almost looked clenched. He looked strained, struggling the way her mother did, to get the words out, when she was suffering from a migraine. “Thanks for the ride. Congrats on the night. You should be proud of yourself. Take care.”
And he was gone. He did not slam the car door, but something about the click hit Nicole very deeply.
What was all that about? she thought. He couldn’t even let me explain?
It seemed pretty clear that Nick was in pain. There was obviously a lot of inner turmoil he was dealing with after the death of his father and the unknown whereabouts of his mum. It was more than understandable. Plus, she felt he had a severe guilt associated with the death, even though it was in no way his fault. He probably needed some professional counselling. Maybe she could make some enquiries to help him, but he would need to ask for that, she wouldn’t push. He had taken a big step by trusting her with that information.
But she would have to be more careful. Even if she did have feelings for, and could have considered being with him under other circumstances, she should cut him some slack. She felt she had unconsciously toyed with his emotions, and as her father would say, that wasn’t cool. The fact he had this effect on her though, troubled her more than she liked.
No, the best thing she could do now was to offer simple friendship. It was the best thing for the both of them. She told herself that again as she turned the ignition on.
*
Nick waited until he heard Nicole’s car start and drive away, then he walked out and sat on the steel letterboxes. He didn’t want to deal with Margaret or Alex, and the questions they would ask when they saw the look on his face.
He did understand where Nicole was coming from but it made him angry, frustrated. Maybe he had been too quick to leave the car, but it was better than a long, drawn out goodbye. Really, what was the point? She didn’t want him.
She wanted to be friends, but that wasn’t enough. Why should he torture himself?
You are a fool. She would not have given you a second tender moment if she did not enjoy the first. Do not give up. She can still be yours.
“No,” Nick mumbled aloud to himself. “I won’t hound her. I’m not going to be that person. I can’t believe I made such a huge deal about getting out of the car! Anyway, I would just be making a fool of myself going after her. I tried and failed. Maybe I am a true leader after all. The best thing I can do is just let her go.”
A sharp pain in the back of the head, and Nick found the sidewalk coming rapidly toward his face. He quickly thrust his hands out to stop his forehead from smacking the concrete when a kick smashed his cheek. He rolled sideways, and masking tape was rapidly plastered over his mouth.
Dizzy, Nick tried to grab at the tape but both his arms were grabbed, stretched over his head. His chest and stomach were being repeatedly stomped by a heavy foot. Despite his agony, Nick did not need much to figure out who the two were.
“Hullo, muffin,” came Miller’s coarse whisper beside Nick’s ear. “You really aren’t a good listener, are you?” He brought his fist smashing clean into Nick’s open face. He drew back and hit him repeatedly. “I…told…you. She’s…mine!”
Nick felt his nose split with a searing pain as if a hot knife had sliced through his face and in desperation, he kicked both his legs, trying to get them back over himself. The strike wasn’t hard, but it was enough to send Miller into the one that held Nick’s arms. It wasn’t difficult for Nick to figure out it was Jason.
Suddenly freed, Nick got onto his hands and knees, letting the blood of his shattered nose pour onto the ground, lest it choke him what with his mouth covered. His legs were like jelly. He tried to remove the tape but his hands felt numb. He tried to call for help, to run, to crawl even. But his limbs weren’t really responding.
Within seconds, his arms were pinned behind him again, and Miller walked into his view.
“Cute,” Miller said softly, backing up two steps, measuring. “I couldn’t stop you arseholes from taking my bro…” He punctuated the sentence with a front-facing side kick. Nick’s head felt as if it would burst open. If Jason hadn’t been holding his arms, Nick would be on his back. He couldn’t feel his legs at all now. “But you’re not fucking getting my girl. Take this as your second warning. And believe me, you won’t get a third. She’s mine. Stay the fuck away, you fucking pommy cunt.”
“Hey! What the hell is going on out here?”
Miller and Jason scarpered off into the night. Nick fell backwards and began to fade. He heard Alex’s voice but not the words. He heard sirens, coming closer. He felt hands probing his face, a light shining in his eyes and his body being lifted onto something stiff. After a sting in his right arm, he felt nothing. Heard nothing, but silence. Saw nothing but darkness.
*
Alex could not believe the broken and bloodied person under an oxygen mask, the mammoth amount of bandages and wires was her cousin’s son. She and Margaret remained in his hospital room, praying that he would be ok. The surgeon had told them Nick had suffered from internal bleeding, a broken nose, and his jaw and three ribs were fractured. He wasn’t out of the woods, as they were still concerned about things like potential brain damage and blood clots. It had been touch-and-go, but now the surgeon declared him stable. He would likely recover, but it would be slow going.
“We have to do something,” Alex said, exhausted.
“I agree,” replied Margaret, never taking her eyes off Nick, leaning forward and stroked what part of his hair was not bandaged.
“I should’ve gone to the school when I had the chance,” Alex said.
“It wouldn’t have made a difference. Not with boys like that.”
“It would’ve been something!” Alex yelled, before forming a fist, smacking her thigh and leaning back, closing her eyes.
“What about the police?”
Margaret shook her head. “We have no idea what these little brats look like, so the police can’t help.”
Alex sighed. This was getting nowhere. “So what do you suggest we do?”
“Wait.”
“Wait? Wait for what?” Alex cried.
“For me,” Dante answered her question.
Alex felt like her heart would jump through her chest. “Oh my god! You scared me! What are you doing here?”
“I called him,” Margaret said simply.
Dante moved closer to the bed, examining Nick from head to toe, taking in the severe bruises and his general condition.
“This was your plan? This again?!” Alex shot at Margaret. She hadn’t told her mother about the fight she’d had with Dante. Nor had she spoken to Dante since it happened. She felt the need to apologise, but now wasn’
t the time. Whatever. Better to focus on Nick. “Can you help him at all, Dante? Please?”
Dante opened his mouth and his fangs flared. He bit his right wrist and used the fingers of his left hand to smear small amounts of his blood onto Nick’s limbs, neck and face. Alex watched in awe as Nick’s bruises disappeared before her eyes. “I can only help with the wounds on the surface,” he said quietly.
Suddenly, Dante bent over Nick and appeared to be inhaling him.
“What—” Alex began before Dante grimaced.
“Rancid cowards,” Dante muttered angrily before turning on his heel and walking out. He gave Margaret a slight nod as he went.
Alex narrowed her eyes at her mother. “Where is he going? Never mind. I think I know already.” Dante would have picked up the scent of whoever had attacked Nick. The sudden thought of what was coming after Nick’s attackers chilled Alex to the bone.
Chapter 19
Revenge or Justice?
“Special drink for a special girl.” Jason handed Lucy a bottle of Jack Daniels. They sat in the swings opposite the Coogee Bay Hotel, the usual hook-up place for all the kids in their area. Though Jason had “booked” it for them, it wasn’t uncommon for other kids to show up from time to time and have their own fun. Girls asked guys there, and vice versa. Everyone knew what it meant.
Lucy gave a smile she hoped couldn’t be seen through. It was weird to be having sex and potentially be spied on by people she went to school with, but she was used to it. It was always dark, and she could make out a few people, but mostly all she saw was vague flashes of bums and boobs in the dark. Faces were mostly obscured by shadows. The problem was she hated screwing Jason Trod. Foreplay meant rubbing her raw, kissing meant his tongue trying to choke her. He was endowed well enough, but he just has no idea how to use it. Lucy had joked with her friends that he had lost his virginity to a patch of wet sand and treated pussy like that’s all it was ever since.
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