“You have to touch her!” Honor wailed. “We can’t have a dead body in the parking lot! It’s bad for business,” she wailed, growing more distraught by the second.
Reaching Patience’s side, Abel’s jaw clenched as he took her arm and pulled her away from the car. Crouching, he knelt to look through the glass himself while Diego tried to calm Honor with low soothing words. “Jesus,” he whispered, slowly turning to meet Patience’s grim eyes. “It’s really her. Angie’s dead.”
“Yeah,” Patience retorted, lifting the hand holding her cell and dialing 911. “And unfortunately, even in death, she’s still causing trouble for the McKinnon family.”
Chapter Fourteen
Six hours later, Patience slumped heavily against the booth where she sat, nursing a ginger ale and munching a saltine cracker while she counted all the reasons that Abel Turner was to blame for everything that had happened this morning. Harmony and Faith sat across from her, encouraging her to keep trying to eat, but all she really wanted to do was find the man that had knocked her up and hold him responsible for all his sin, both real and imagined.
Honestly, how long did it take to pronounce one very dead body legally deceased?
Behind her, she could still hear Honor angrily slamming bowls around in the kitchen. Not that she was cooking…. Zeke wouldn’t allow her to open the café. Nope, their family business was a crime scene once again and the epicenter of interest for every curious citizen in Paradise County. Like hungry ducks, occupants of their fair town were congregated across Main Street, scattered around in clusters as they stared with avid curiosity at the goings on in their now tented parking lot.
Yeah, Honor was fit to be tied. Even Aunt Orla and Uncle Jethro hadn’t been able to calm her down. For so long her baby sister had held her emotions close to her chest, but today, her hard shell had cracked and beneath it they’d all found a woman that was more than a little pissed that she and her family kept finding themselves at the center of scandal. Scandals that lately seemed – more often than not – to involve her family and her business, and since she paid her taxes in a timely manner each and every year, she expected her local law enforcement to handle AND solve any crimes committed on or around her establishment OR person IN THE SAME TIMELY MANNER!! After she’d informed their good Sheriff thusly, long, loud, and at the top of her formidable lungs, she’d followed it up by banning him.
Yep. That’s right. Sweet little Honor McKinnon had grabbed rough and tough Sheriff Zeke Monroe by the collar and physically shoved him out of the café.
If she hadn’t been so worried for her sister’s sanity, she would have laughed her ass off at the look on Ezekiel’s face. It could only have been defined as priceless. Especially when he’d overheard Honor tell one of his deputies that Diego Fuentes was family and more than welcome to come back inside her establishment.
For a second, Patience was pretty sure Zeke had suffered a stroke. His jaw had been slack, and there’d definitely been drool.
At any rate, Diego had joined their familiar ranks – however, temporarily- and poor Zeke was left out in the cold – for the time being, anyway. The one-time criminal had set up camp at a circular table a few steps away with his remaining attorney, Vivian, and strangely enough her Uncle Jethro and Harmony’s new hubby, Jake. Since he was still on his wife’s very dangerous radar, Faith’s husband, Cain, kept wandering back and forth between their tables. Every once in a while, he’d try to lightly touch Faith in some way, but her stubborn sister scorned every one of his advances. It was clear that while Cain might have boinked the now-deader-than-a-doornail-Angie years ago, it was still a very fresh wound to Faith.
Patience knew exactly how she felt.
She was having her own trouble trying to forget how she’d watched Angie flirt and fawn over Abel like a cat in heat for the very first time over the last few weeks. Oh, she knew he claimed it had all been an act designed to make her jealous and she guessed she believed him. He might be an ass, but to her knowledge, he’d never been a liar. That wasn’t what bothered her.
What drove her crazy was that his demented plan had worked! Not that she’d ever share that information with a certain pompous attorney she knew. No frickin’ way. That was one shameful secret she’d be taking to the grave with her. Privately, however, she could admit to herself that watching those two fools acting like lovebirds hopped up on crack had nearly gutted her and when he’d told her that it had all been a ploy on his part…. Yeah, let’s just say that after the initial surge of anger and white hot rage she’d experienced when she’d finally learned he’d been trying to play her, she’d quickly felt a flood of undeniable relief the likes of which she’d never known in her life.
Yes, she recognized that she had it bad for the sinfully sexy lawyer and now that she’d learned she was carrying his progeny and that he only had eyes for her and her alone (his sentiments, not hers), most logical folks would probably think that she’d be chomping at the bit to sign herself up to be that very significant other in his life.
Those individuals would also be monumentally misinformed! And the reasons for that were many.
First and foremost, Patience liked her life. She liked all aspects of it. But what she liked and valued more than anything was her independence and the knowledge that she was her own woman, making a go of this life on her own on HER own terms. She relished being able to make her own decisions and call her own shots. She reveled in her ability to buy her own things and make her own money. She depended on absolutely no one. She relied on herself. And when the situation warranted it, she might rely on her sisters. But the one thing she’d never in the five years she’d been on her own found herself depending on was a man, and she didn’t intend to start now - no matter what pretty words and promises Abel Turner spouted at her.
Yeah, Patience was unapologetically set in her ways. Not that her ways were particularly complicated. No, on the contrary, she lived a mostly modest life with simple, down to earth beliefs. She followed the Ten Commandments as best she could though that vanity one tended to trip her up every now and again (Sue her, but she liked to look good…and if she could look better than some of the simpering misses that she’d gone to school with – well, that was even better). She also truly attempted to honor the Golden Rule of doing unto others as you’d have done unto you and last time she checked, she was successful in following it about ninety-five percent of the time. But even living this humble existence, she did it HER WAY. The idea of trying to fuse her way of life with Abel’s?
Well, it was laughable.
They were too different. In almost every single way that counted. It could never work. Abel was an affluent and well known attorney and she was a bartender. Oh, she knew she owned a quarter of the family business, but really….she was a bartender. A happy bartender, but a bartender, nonetheless. Now, she didn’t think that made Abel any better or worse than her, but really, what did they have in common?
Besides a blisteringly hot sexual chemistry, that was.
In all other meaningful ways, they were as different as night and day. For instance, Abel lived in a sprawling mini-McMansion just outside of town while she still lived in one of the two apartments over the café. Oh, she could have afforded a real house, but why would she move? Living where she did was both convenient and cost effective. So what if she lived like a college coed? Until now, it had worked out just fine for her. And she was still half convinced that even with a babies, she could make her loft work. The kid would need two feet of space, tops! In the olden days, they’d put kids in a dresser’s drawers, hadn’t they?
Of course they had!
At any rate, it was an understatement to say that their styles (much like their lives) simply wouldn’t mesh. A relationship beyond the most superficial just wouldn’t work.
Besides, she’d be damned if she’d give Sister Bertha Busybody down at the church the satisfaction of seeing her settle down. That old bat had been preaching to her for the past five years about the sanct
ity of marriage and the benefits of making a good match. If she had to hear how all the good God-fearing men were either dying off or already taken one more time Patience knew that she was going to lose what was left of her religion! She be hanged if she’d let that old nag watch her walk down the aisle with one of Paradise’s most coveted bachelors.
Suddenly jerked from her thoughts when Honor slammed down another can of ginger ale in front of her, she lifted her eyes to the youngest McKinnon. “Still pissed, huh?” she asked as she reached for the soda and popped the top on it.
“How long can it take to bag, tag and wag one tiny dead body off our property, I ask you,” Honor hissed, glaring toward the bank of glass windows overlooking the parking lot. “It isn’t as though they can’t locate the corpse. She’s right THERE! Has been all blessed morning!” she exclaimed, pointing to where Angie’s rental car still sat in the same place it had been when they’d found it this morning.
Patience managed to offer her irate sister a weak grin as she glanced over at the windows. "Hey, Mugsy," she called out to Maggie, who was keeping a keen eye on the comings and goings of the local constabulary, "You see any progress bein’ made out there of the calm-Honor-the-hell-down variety? OR, are you ready to help me and the rest of the McKinnon sisters lead a posse to help our Sherriff solve the case of the Suicidal Slut?"
“Well, I’m no Nancy Drew, but if I had to make a guess, I’d have to say….she’s definitely still appears dead. And I gotta say, that bluish tinge her skin is presently rockin’ is doin’ nothin’ for her complexion at all. That shade of blue is simply not in her color wheel,” Maggie drawled, squinting out the window.
“Thanks,” Patience offered flatly. “That was extremely helpful.” Shifting her attention across the table to her two elder sisters. “Can’t you go over there and convince Jake to go tell Zeke to shake a leg? Preferably before Honor’s head starts spinning around like that chick in the horror movie?” she added in a lowered voice as she jerked her head toward where Honor now paced in front of the windows, stopping every once in a while to mumble something incoherently under her breath. “It’s either that or we’re gonna have to crush up one of her little yellow nerve pills and slip it in her sweet tea.”
“I told you,” Harmony replied with a sigh, “The last time I sent Jake and Cain out there they said Zeke was takin’ down Abel’s statement ‘bout what happened this morning. I’m sure somebody will let us know when there’s something to report,” she stated dutifully.
“I wouldn’t bet the farm on my husband’s ability to share items that we’d consider important, Harm. My old man’s defective that way,” Faith interjected grumpily. “I’d make sure you find out if Jake has the same problem,” she mumbled, glaring into her glass of water.
“Still mad at Cain, are ya?” Harmony asked with a grimace.
“What do you think?” Faith snapped, taking a sip of water.
“It was years ago, Faith,” Harmony pointed out gently. “You weren’t even a thought in Cain’s mind when he had his little fling with…”
Patience stared at Harmony with big eyes, shaking her head from side to side. “Uhmmm… Harmony, I don’t think you wanna poke that particular Mama Bear. She bites when provoked.”
“Yes, she certainly does,” Faith growled, narrowing her eyes at Harmony.
“Ooooh! OOOH!” Maggie yelled, jumping up and down as she stared out the door. “Progress is bein’ made, people! Judd Watkins from over at the Emmett & Watkins Funeral Parlor just showed up! He’s parkin’ the hearse now.”
“Praise the Lord!” Honor breathed, clapping her hands together and lifting her eyes heavenward.
Patience eyed the distance between Honor and the nearest knives. “Maybe this nightmare is finally ending,” she stated hopefully, slowly pushing up from her seat as she prayed her saltines stayed in her stomach. Evidently this alien passenger she was harboring within her hated human food.
“Don’t get too excited,” Jake warned, turning to look at them over his shoulder. “The coroner still hasn’t shown up, and until Bucky Tremont says she’s dead, nobody can move the victim anywhere.”
“I’m sorry. What did you say?” Honor bit out through barely moving lips as she stared at Jake with eyes that could have frozen the blood flowing in a lesser man’s veins.
Jake winced. “Sorry, Honor.”
Patience could almost see the steam start to rise from Honor’s ears as the bell over the door rang as Abel sauntered into the café. Spotting him almost instantly, she dropped her hands to her hips and lifted her chin. “You better come bearing good news, Abel, or I swear, I’ll serve your head up to Honor myself.”
Looking from a fired-up Patience to an obviously irritated Honor, Abel face became a bland mask as he held up his hands. “Now, ladies, I’m sure you all realize that local law enforcement is doing everything possible to move things along as quickly as they can.”
“Ah, hell,” Uncle Jethro huffed, crossing his arms over his coveralls as he looked Abel over. “He’s spoutin’ the party line, Orla.” Shaking his head sadly at his wife, he went on. “Y’all be lucky to be open this time next week at the pace these turtles are runnin’ round here.”
Patience noticed Honor’s darkening face quickly and looked back at Abel quickly. “Please tell me that you came in here with some actual information,” she ordered impatiently.
“Actually, I do have a little something to share. Our Sheriff has been hunting for the coroner all morning since all calls to him have been going to voice mail. Deputy Frost drove by his house, but nobody was home. Another one of Zeke’s deputies finally tracked down the coroner’s wife at The Hair Haven ‘bout thirty minutes ago. Evidently, this was her day to have a wash and set. According to her, Bucky took off this morning up to Fisher’s Creek to try and catch a few bass. Zeke just dispatched one of his men to go reel ole Bucky into town. They should be back any time,” Abel informed the group proudly.
Patience slowly licked her lips as the irony of the situation hit her. “Are you tellin’ me,” she began haltingly, “…that our coroner – who, by the way, is paid with our tax dollars – has, quite literally gone fishin’ during the middle of the biggest thing to hit Paradise County since Jimmy Littlefoot got drunk and decided he could fly off Pritchard Bridge?” Her voice echoed off the walls as she finished yelling.
Abel was silent for a full three seconds before answering. “Yep.”
Shaking her head in disgust, Patience exchanged a disbelieving look with Honor. “Only in Paradise do things like this happen.”
Turning furious eyes toward the bank of windows at the front of their restaurant again, Honor nearly shook with the force of her anger. “All I know is that Bucky’s got thirty minutes.”
“Thirty minutes to what?” Patience asked.
“Thirty minutes before I go out there and haul Angela Hastings’ body off our property myself!” Honor shouted. “We’ve got shovels and positive attitudes, Patience” she informed her sister, her eyes glittering as she gave her a jerky nod. “We can do this. That woman has caused this family enough grief!” she added with a measured look at Abel.
“To be fair, she didn’t exactly offer me a walk in the park, Honor,” Abel returned carefully, half convinced that Honor might lunge at him if pressed.
Taking three threatening steps toward him, Patience pointed an accusing finger at his chest. “Maybe so, counsellor, but if not for you, Angie wouldn’t have had any reason to storm our gates last night! It was you that led her on. It was you that then told her you used her to try and get to me. It was you that knocked me up with not one, but TWO of your little swimmers….sendin’ that female whack job so far over the edge that it isn’t even funny. And lastly, it was your silly ass that got sucked into her orbit years ago and dragged an entire innocent town along for the Abel and Angie show! It was a flop, but people just kept watching to see if the train would ever just jump the track already! So, yet again, the blame for all of this insanity is to be laid s
olely at your feet. And those facts, Matlock, are what’re makin’ the McKinnon women a smidge cranky,” she concluded on a yell, her chest heaving with exertion.
“You make not only an articulate and interesting argument but a compelling one as well,” Abel returned with a guilty smile and a slightly panicked look toward Jake and Cain who’d wisely chosen to remain completely silent.
“Eat shit and die, Abel,” Patience retorted, her body growing more overheated by the second as she weaved faintly on her feet.
“Mommy! Daddy! Stop that fightin’ for a minute and listen,” Maggie ordered excitedly from her vantage point by the door. “Paradise’s erstwhile coroner just pulled up! Bucky’s crawlin’ in the car with her now. Aaaaand…yep! Still dead…and by the look on Bucky’s face, she’s stinky, too,” Maggie pronounced, her pretty face contorting slightly in revulsion.
“It’s almost ninety degrees out there,” Orla offered. “We’re just lucky that we can’t smell her, too.”
“Auntie, can we not say stuff like that,” Patience begged, pressing a hand to her belly. Her weak stomach was already rebelling the events of the morning. She could only assume that the double occupancy in her womb was responsible for her increased symptoms this morning. Patience really didn’t need anybody to make her rebelling stomach feel worse with their little side anecdotes.
“Hey, are you okay, babe?” Patience heard Abel’s worried voice questioning her. Swallowing hard as another tidal wave of nausea threatened to drown her, she was grateful to feel his warm hand reach out and steady her.
“I’m fine,” she lied, although not very convincingly if Abel’s scoff of disbelief was anything to judge by.
“You are anything but fine right now. You’re white as a ghost and barely able to stand up straight,” Abel replied, unerringly guiding her into a chair at one of the empty tables as the others continued talking around them. “So, how bad is this?”
Ready, Willing and Abel (Passion in Paradise: The Men of the McKinnon Sisters Book 3) Page 21