Patience’s heart constricted at his loving words. He loved her. She’d known that. He’d told her so almost every day for three months.
And despite words and deeds that one might construe to the contrary, she loved him, too.
She just hadn’t been able to tell him.
Yet.
She kept meaning to say it. She’d lain in bed beside him, staring at him while he slept peacefully and thought of waking him to share her news. She’d stood in his arms on numerous mornings while they greeted the day on her tiny outdoor patio over the back of the café and thought about telling him those oh-so-important words. She’d made love to him countless times when the words hovered on the very tip of her tongue.
But one thing had stopped her from sharing her feelings each and every time.
It wasn’t doubt.
It wasn’t confusion.
It wasn’t nerves.
It was stone cold fear.
And it sucked.
Because more than anything in the world, she loved Abel Turner.
And she had been in love with him for years.
But what Patience would never allow herself to forget was that it’s the bitterest kind of pain when the one you love didn’t feel the same. She’d been there before with Abel. And God help her, as much as she knew Abel cared for her…and even loved her in his own way… she wasn’t sure if it was to the same extent she loved him.
Like the truly, madly, deeply, I’ll-go-insane-if-you-leave-me love she felt for him.
Yeah, that’s how she felt.
And had she mentioned that it sucked?
“Babe, you’re starting to scare me,” Abel warned, leaning his forehead against hers.
Suddenly realizing that she’d been staring at him in complete silence for well over a minute, she forced herself to smile. “I know you love me, silly. What’s not to love?” she made herself ask playfully, hoping he hadn’t seen how conflicted she was about her feelings. Leaning in for a chaste, but meaningful kiss, she inhaled deeply. “So, what are our plans for tonight?” she asked to distract him when she pulled back and noticed his keen grey eyes studying her much too closely.
She breathed a sigh of relief when she saw Abel grin at her. She knew then that she’d managed to divert his attention from a deep, profound conversation about them to something much more manageable.
“Tonight, woman, we are going on a date,” Abel proclaimed almost eagerly.
“A date?” Patience repeated doubtfully. She and Abel had spent a lot of time together during the three months they’d been doing this committed relationship thing, but she couldn’t say they’d done a lot of dating. No, instead he’d spend time at the bar with her while she was working, or they’d stay in and watch movies in her loft during her rare evenings off. Occasionally, they’d have dinner with the family at the McKinnon homeplace. And he escorted her to church every Sunday like clockwork – because, in the South, there was really no better way to announce you were committed to someone than to attend church together.
But dating?
Nope, they had done very, very little of that.
In fact, he’d taken her out to dinner at a restaurant that her family didn’t run probably three or four times during their months together and they’d been to a couple of movies at Paradise’s tiny theater a grand total of twice.
It was safe to say, they didn’t really do the dating thing.
“Where exactly are we going, Abel?” Patience asked curiously. Neither one of them wanted to see the most recent slasher flick playing at the movie house, and she honestly had no desire to go out to some fancy restaurant after working all day.
“Have you forgotten that the fair is in town?” he asked with a wink.
Patience squealed. “Are you kidding? I had no idea.” The County Fairgrounds were in the opposite direction of the McKinnon Homestead and Patience rarely drove out that way anyway. She’d heard some of their regulars talking about the upcoming rodeo, but she hadn’t made the connection between it and the yearly town fair. She couldn’t say she was disappointed, though. From the rides to the funnel cakes you could buy at the concessions stand, she loved a good carnival. Last summer, she’d even briefly dated a carnie. Nice guy though not real smart. Not that she’d be reminding Abel of that short-lived romance.
“I know that Harmony and Jake are closing the bar tonight so I figured this would be the perfect chance to steal you away for a little fun if you’re up for it,” Abel explained.
Offering him a saucy smile, Patience asked, “When have I ever not been up for having some fun?”
“Never that I can recollect,” Abel answered.
“And I don’t plan on starting now,” she returned, rising to her feet and holding out her hand. “Now, I suggest you show a gal how Abel Turner does this dating thing.”
Taking her hand, Abel smiled his panty-melting smile. “Why, Ms. McKinnon, I thought you’d never ask.”
Chapter Nineteen
Several hours later, Abel and Patience wandered down another long row of games and concession stands at the fairgrounds. Gazing longingly at the cotton candy vendor, Patience watched as a man wound streams of colored spun sugar into cones. Moaning out loud when the tempting aroma reached her nostrils, she hopefully looked up into Abel’s handsome face as a low chuckle erupted from his lips.
“Are you kidding me, Hellion?” he asked her shaking his head as he looked from her guileless face to the paper plate she clutched in her hand. It held the funnel cake dusted with powdered sugar that she’d just sweet talked him into buying her a quarter of an hour ago.
“What?” Patience asked innocently, batting her long, sooty eyelashes at him. “It looks good, Abel,” she remarked, nodding toward the rows of pastel pink, blue and yellow cotton candy sticks lining the counter. “The babies want one.” She knew it was sneaky, playing the baby card, but it was also a highly effective maneuver when it came to getting her way lately. And she really wanted that cotton candy.
“The babies are already surfing a sugar high from that funnel cake and the chilled lemonade that you’re still holding,” he countered with a knowing grin, easing her out of a large group of teenagers path as they ambled by them en masse.
“But, Abel, I’m solely responsible for the nourishment of three people. That takes a lot of food and a lot of calories. I’d think you’d be pleased that I’m trying so hard to keep our children well fed,” she contradicted him gamely, her round face glowing as the noises of the fair billowed around them. “Besides, honey, the twins say that they need their first taste of spun sugar. You don’t wanna deny your progeny, do you?” she asked as her turquoise eyes sparkled underneath the neon lights strung above their heads. Yep, she was laying it on thick. She also didn’t care; watching the people around them shove the sweet, messy confection into their mouths was torture.
Abel laughed, reaching up to swipe his thumb against her lower lip, still covered with powdered sugar from the last bite she’d slipped in her mouth. “So, you and my kids have developed some kind of advanced telepathy, huh?”
“A mother knows what her children need,” Patience claimed piously, doing her best imitation of her eldest sister, Harmony. “And right now, these two peanuts desperately need some of that sticky pink goodness,” she continued, pointing at the rows of cones perched on the stand ahead of them.
Hooking his hand around the nape of her neck, Abel pulled his woman toward him and quickly captured her mouth for a hard, searing kiss before releasing her. “The things you get me to do for you,” he grumbled, reaching into his back pocket for his wallet.
“And for your children,” she added staunchly, licking her lips seductively and wishing he’d dive in for another kiss. She wasn’t sure what was going on with her lately, but every time Abel so much as grazed her lips with his, she wanted to jump his bones. She was insatiable. Both Harmony and Faith said it was a natural response caused by her hormones, but she wasn’t sure she’d ever get used to feeling this frea
king needy. “Really, it’s our little aliens that are insisting on sustenance.”
“Uh huh, sure they are,” Abel retorted good-naturedly, stealing another kiss from her parted lips. Gesturing toward the covered tent behind them where several picnic tables had been moved, he suggested, “Why don’t you go grab us a table? We need to get you off your feet for a few minutes anyway. I’ll go grab your latest craving and meet you over there in a minute.”
Glancing down at her feet, Patience winced when she saw her ankles were beginning to swell slightly. Abel was right; she needed to sit down for a little while. “I’ll be waiting,” she informed him with a wink before turning toward the tent.
Dodging a couple as they canoodled in the middle of the busy pathway, Patience couldn’t help grinning. There was a time when watching that kind of display of affection would have nauseated her and she’d have demanded the duo find a room somewhere far away from her, but since letting Abel into her life – and her bed, that had changed. Now, she simply found herself being amused by relationships between other people. Maybe when you were relatively content in your own, you weren’t as easily irritated by those of everyone else.
Finally reaching the roughly hewn tables, she sank onto one of the benches, trying to ignore how uncomfortable the seat was. They wouldn’t be here long. All she needed to do was catch her breath and inhale her sugary treat. Then, she and Abel could continue on with their evening, she thought as she yawned widely. Okay, maybe their night wouldn’t be as long as she’d hoped, she admitted to herself as a wave of sleepiness drifted over her.
“Patience!” she heard a deep voice yell. Looking around, she didn’t see anybody familiar and wondered if maybe some other girl had been graced with her unfortunate name, too.
“Patience, is that you?”
Squeezing her Styrofoam cup of lemonade like a stress ball, Patience spun to see who was calling her name and her jaw dropped. “Tucker?” she yelped, gawking at the tall, muscular, blonde hair, blue-eyed entirely-yummy-but-dumb-as-fence-post piece of manhood she’d dated very briefly last year. “What are you doin’ here?” she asked, her voice a little shaky as she rose from her seat to turn and face him.
“Holy shit!” the sexy carnival worker squawked, getting a good look at Patience’s swollen belly. “That’s not mine, is it?” he asked fearfully, lifting a trembling hand to point at her baby bump as he took a nervous step backward.
Closing her eyes, Patience gave a silent prayer of thanks that Abel hadn’t heard that particular comment. Not because he might believe that he wasn’t the father of their babies. Oh, no. Abel was well aware that he was the only man that had shared her body. No, that wouldn’t be a concern at all. But he’d never let her live down the fact that in a moment of weakness, she’d agreed to go on a date with this moron.
Opening her eyes and staring at the clueless lug in front of her, Patience shook her head, more disgusted with herself than the idgit in front of her. “Well, unless I missed an important segment of sex ed, Tuck, I’m fairly confident that you can’t knock me up by giving me a goodnight kiss over a year ago. And even if you could put a bun in my oven that way, it still only takes nine months to pop out a kid. I haven’t seen you in over a year. I think you’re safe,” she informed him in a stage whisper.
“Woo,” Tucker replied, sagging in relief as he wiped the back of his hand over his sweaty brow. “That was a close one!” he announced with a blinding smile.
“No, Tuck,” Patience returned with a chuckle, “It really, really wasn’t. But enough about me, how have you been this year? Is the carnival circuit still as exciting as it was the last time I saw you?”
“Been busy,” he answered with a nod. “Though not nearly as busy as you from what I can see,” he teased with a pointed look at her belly and a wink. “I guess I waited too long to look you up again. I was hoping you and I could pick up where we left off getting to know each other last summer. But, it looks like somebody beat me to the finish line, huh?”
As if this doofus ever had a chance of getting out of the starting gate, Patience thought wryly. Pasting a polite smile on her face – because, really, Tucker wasn’t a bad guy; he was just a little slow, she nodded. “I guess so, but I think we knew last year that we’d be better off as friends, didn’t we?” she asked in a kindly voice. It was true, too. Tucker made for great arm candy (as long as he stayed quiet) and he’d provided a nice diversion for a few dates, but that was it. There’d been zero chemistry between them.
“Aw, Miss Patience, if all you’re offerin’ is friendship, I guess I better consider myself a lucky guy and take you up on it. ‘Specially since I missed my chance for anything more,” Tuck noted, reaching out a hand to touch her stomach.
“I suggest you remove that hand before you draw back a nub,” a deeply familiar, albeit highly perturbed voice ordered from behind Patience. Turning, she smiled as Abel glared at Tucker over her shoulder. Reaching out to relieve him of the cotton candy, she grinned. “Finally! I thought maybe you’d decided to ask ‘em if you could make it yourself,” she teased her man gently, biting her lip when she noticed that his eyes hadn’t moved from her previous summer’s fling.
“You wanna introduce me to the guy tryin’ to paw you and my babies, Patience?” Abel asked sharply, his eyes narrowing as Tucker grinned at him.
Clearing her throat, Patience forced herself to swallow a laugh, knowing that it would only inflame Abel’s temper right now. No, she’d tease him about his reaction later, she promised herself as Abel slipped his arm around her expanding waist and tugged her firmly against him. “Abel, this is Tucker. We had a couple of dates last summer. Tucker, this is….”
“Abel Turner,” Abel introduced himself coldly, his eyes hard as they glared at the younger man. “Her man and her babies’ father. And you must be the empty-headed carnie that Patience has mentioned she dated.”
“Yep, sure am,” Tucker agreed affably, completely oblivious to Abel’s obvious dislike of him. “So, you’re the dad? Man, congrats! And I gotta say, better you than me, dude,” he continued, lifting a hand the size of a small ham and clapping Abel on the shoulder. “I feel like I dodged one huge ass bullet myself,” he declared with another nod at Patience’s belly.
“And again,” Patience returned with a long suffering sigh, “Tuck, sugar, you can’t get a girl pregnant by kissin’ her goodnight.”
Shrugging his broad shoulders as he shoved his hands in the pockets of his form-fitting Levi jeans, Tucker blew a lock of hair out of his eyes. “If you say so, Patience. At any rate, it was good to see you. And good to meet you, Abel,” he returned with a good-ole-boy grin at them both.
Abel grunted in response, but Patience gave the man a sweet smile and a wave as Abel guided her in the opposite direction that Tucker was going. Waiting until they were several feet away before dropping disbelieving eyes to her, Abel couldn’t help his growl. “Please, tell me what in the hell you were thinkin’ spendin’ time with that boy back there? Seriously, darlin’, anybody can see that kid obviously got shorted a few fries in his Happy Meal.”
“He was pretty and I was bored,” Patience offered simply as she sucked the last of the cotton candy off her index fingers. “Besides, it was hardly a serious relationship. We basically rode a few rides and shared a couple hot dogs together while the carnival was in town last year. It was hardly the romance of the year.” Looking up at him through her lashes, Patience’s lips twitched as she scanned his unhappy face. “Are you jealous, Abel?” she taunted lightly, her eyes twinkling with mischief as she wound her arm through his.
“You kissed him,” Abel muttered with a scowl, walking tensely beside her as they wove their way through the crowd toward the Ferris wheel.
Patience nearly choked trying to hold back her amusement. “Do I need to point out that you’ve done a whole lot more than just kiss another woman, Abel? At least I’ve confined my activities to a rating of PG-13. You’ve ventured all the way up into the XXX realm if the rumors I’ve
heard are accurate. And, based on my own experiences with you, I tend to believe the hype.”
Exhaling heavily, Abel paused and hung his head. “You’re right,” he admitted quietly. “It’s just that every time I think of a guy kissing and touching what is very much mine, I lose it a little bit. I know it isn’t fair, but I’m a man, darlin’. We’re not exactly known for being reasonable. No, the vast majority of us are territorial bastards that don’t want another predator anywhere near our female. Seein’ one of your old flames makes me wanna tattoo my name on your forehead. It ain’t rational, but it’s the truth.”
“That goes both ways, Abel,” Patience reminded him meaningfully. “It’s not exactly fun for me to see women you’ve done a lot more than date flounce and flirt with you, but I do it because when I agreed to be with you, I accepted that you had a past. I have one, too. It’s not nearly as checkered as yours is, but I’ve got one.”
“Yeah, I just got my reminder of that tonight,” he mumbled, guiding her into the line for the Ferris wheel. “But, you’re right. I’m gonna be grateful that boy got no more than a few of your kisses because I have firsthand knowledge of how sweet the rest of your body tastes. If he’d gotten a sample of that, I might have had to kill him.”
“No man’s had more than that, Abel,” Patience confided huskily, leaning against his solid chest as she looked up at him with trusting eyes. “Just you have experienced the whole buffet.”
“Thank Christ,” Abel whispered reverently, touching her cheek. “Now, I want us to enjoy this last ride together before I take you home and show you how truly thankful I am that I was the one you chose to share all your secrets with.”
Abel’s eyes shined with something that looked a lot like wicked intent in the humid heat of the evening. “What are you up to, Abel Isaac Turner? What kind of nefarious plan have you hatched for me once we get to the top of this ride? And don’t tell me that you haven’t planned something,” she warned as he guided her through the line of people to the attendant. Watching as he passed the pimply faced kid running the ride a fifty, Patience narrowed her eyes at the man determined to drive her nuts. “You’re up to something,” she stated flatly.
Ready, Willing and Abel (Passion in Paradise: The Men of the McKinnon Sisters Book 3) Page 31