by Romi Hart
“There was a point when I decided I would swear off men, and Jordan didn’t think he would ever find time for the type of woman he wanted to be with. We were close, talked about all of this, even though we didn’t see much of each other anymore. You know, he was already here in the States, and I had moved back to Victoria. Anyway, he came home to visit for about a month, and I was at my worst. I cried on his shoulder for hours after a bad break up, the first time I’d ever actually fallen in love. And I told him that all I wanted was a family, a child of my own.”
Kylie swallowed hard. She knew that feeling, had wanted that her whole life. She’d thought she had a chance of that with Jordan, but it didn’t seem to work out, no matter how hard she tried. She could relate to Krys on that level, and it helped ease her mind to a degree, even if she still didn’t know exactly how to feel about the woman.
Krys continued, “He told me I didn’t have to have a man in my life to have a child, built up my self-esteem telling me what a strong, independent woman I was and that I could be a great mother. I agreed, but I didn’t want to go pick some random sperm at a clinic. So, I asked him if he would donate his. I told him I trusted him, and at least I knew he was healthy and mentally sound. He hesitated at first, and I told him I wouldn’t expect anything from him, although he’d be welcome as a father in my child’s life if he wanted to be.
“He finally agreed, and we went to the clinic to have it done. It took a couple of tries, but I got pregnant, and nine months later, Amelia was born. Jordan was there, and he’s been there as a dad as much as he can be ever since.”
Kylie didn’t know what to say. It was a beautiful thing, really, to help his stepsister have a child, but it didn’t explain why they’d gotten married, unless they had fallen in love later. She wanted to ask a million questions, but she figured if she was patient, Krys would answer at least most of them in her own time.
When she started to speak again, her chin trembled, and Kylie frowned, curious and concerned. “Amy started getting sick when she was four, and shortly after her fifth birthday, I had to take her to emergency. They ran a number of tests, and it turned out that she had leukemia.” Kylie gasped, unable to imagine what that must have done to Krys, whose eyes filled with liquid even now. “It was terrible, especially when we couldn’t get treatment in Australia. The health care system didn’t cover the treatment, and the cost was outrageous.
“Jordan had insurance here, but we could only come on a thirty-day visa, and his insurance didn’t cover Amy’s treatment because we weren’t married. A marriage certificate solved both problems, and despite my protests, Jordan insisted, said it was the only solution because Amy needed the treatment. So, we went to the courthouse and signed the papers. There was no ceremony, no guests, no reception. It was all business. And he promised me he wouldn’t get involved with anyone because he wouldn’t do anything that might risk Amy losing insurance.
“I always told him that he should fall in love, find the woman of his dreams, but he laughed it off, said that woman didn’t exist in real life. And when Amy went into remission after a year of treatment, we moved back to Victoria, and I reminded him that he should get on with his life. But he told me it could come back, and he refused to divorce me. I never once heard him waver in that decision until he met you.”
Tears pricked at Kylie’s eyes. All this time, Jordan had put his life on hold, had avoided any kind of relationship, because he had dedicated himself to his daughter. It was everything most women desired – a man who loved their child so much they would do anything to make sure that son or daughter was safe. And he’d never turned his back on them, no matter what.
“Is Amy okay now?” she asked, her voice barely a whisper.
That pain came back into Krys’ eyes, and Kylie held her breath. “Well, we thought she might be having a relapse because her knees were hurting, and she fractured her arm falling off the slide in the park a few days ago. But it turned out that the treatments had just weakened her bones, and she’ll be taking calcium supplements for a while and doing some physical therapy to strengthen the muscles. I called to give him the good news, and to tell him that Amy wanted to meet you.”
Blinking back the moisture, Kylie stared at Krys in disbelief. Not only had Krys known about her; so had Jordan’s daughter. He’d told them about her, and whatever he said made enough of an impression that the small child wanted to meet her. Something in her chest clenched, and she didn’t know what to do about it.
She’d spent months wishing Jordan would fall for her, and just when she felt like things were going in the right direction, her world turned upside down because of this woman’s existence, and her daughter’s. Kylie knew she’d reacted badly, should have at least listened to what Jordan had to say. If she had given him a chance to explain, he probably would have told her everything and then gotten Krys on the phone to confirm it. Instead, she’d chosen to kick him out and ignore him, and she’d been miserable for the last week. So bad that her boss had asked her to take time off.
And who suffered in all of this the most? Jordan.
He’d sacrificed freedom for a daughter he hadn’t intended to have, one he’d helped Krys to have. He’d pushed Kylie away, not because he didn’t love her but because he couldn’t give her the happy married life she wanted without risking Amy’s life. What sort of choice was that for a man to have to make? And how could she have been so selfish and careless to accuse him of being sick and twisted without even thinking twice about it?
“I’m a terrible person,” she muttered, the first tear sliding down her cheek. “I thought…” She shook her head and gave Krys a pleading look. “I thought he was one of those men who lied about having a family so he could get his kicks while he left you to fend for yourselves. And I thought he’d made a move on his stepsister or even done something terrible to you, either of which made me sick to my stomach.”
Krys laughed and shook her head, resting her hand on top of Kylie’s where it lay on the table. “It would have been my initial conclusion, too, under the circumstances. When he called me, that’s exactly what I told him, and I screamed at the bloody dolt for not coming clean about it sooner. The minute he realized he had feelings for you, he should have told you the truth. Especially you! I doubt you would have taken off running and never spoken to him again.”
Kylie thought about it, and no, she wouldn’t have turned away. In fact, she quite likely would have fallen in love harder and faster, just because he was such a good man. “I would have handled it. Even that morning, if I hadn’t been so pigheaded and selfish, I would have been alright, once I understood.” She put her head in her hands and took several deep breaths, feeling suddenly like she might pass out.
“Are you alright?” It was the first time Reesa had spoken in what seemed like hours, and Kylie nodded, not trusting her voice and not wanting to make eye contact with anyone. She felt terrible for the things she’d thought, the way she’d told Jordan she trusted him in any situation and then turned her back on him at the first sign of trouble. “I knew you needed to hear it from Krys. You know, she came here just to talk to you.”
That definitely got Kylie’s attention, and she gaped at Krys, who just shrugged. “We had some miles to use, and it’s summer break for Amy. We both wanted to meet you anyway, and it seemed like the best thing to do to try to set things straight.” She paused and tilted her head, assessing Kylie. “You really love him, don’t you?”
“Very much,” Kylie breathed, feeling relief at actually telling someone else. She’d told Jordan she was falling for him, but she was far past that point. She was deeply, madly in love with him, and that was why she felt so bitter over the betrayal. She could admit that to herself now.
“Then I hope I haven’t wasted this trip,” Krys told her. “I could hear it in the way Jordan talked about you, love. You’re the one, the only woman he’s ever dared to get close to, and it’s because he felt something for you that first night. Ask him. He’ll tell you now. Hel
l, he should have told you before. Stubborn bloke.”
Kylie wasn’t so sure. In fact, she didn’t know if he’d even speak to her at this point. She’d broken him, just as he’d broken her. Well, honestly, she’d broken herself with her misguided morals. “You really think I should talk to him? He won’t push me away?”
“Not if he knows what’s good for him,” Krys laughed, though the words sounded like a threat. “He’s spent too much time worrying about everyone else, and I’m tired of it. Amy is well, and we’re going to be fine. I want him to get on with his life, and this time, I’m not going to let him turn down a divorce.”
That was a huge sacrifice, and Kylie didn’t like it. “Are you sure? I mean, what if—“
Krys cut her off. “What if the cancer comes back? If it comes back, we’ll deal with it however we need to. But Jordan isn’t going to turn you away or hurt you because of a sense of responsibility he doesn’t need to carry anymore.”
“The real question is, what are you going to do now?” Reesa piped up from across the table, her hands folded in front of her and her eyes narrowed as she stared at Kylie, waiting. “And before you answer, think what you would tell me to do. Think what you did tell me to do when my world fell apart because I couldn’t swallow my pride and admit I was wrong.”
It was true; she’d forced Reesa to talk to Marcus, when all Reesa wanted to do was turn and run. And now, the two of them were living together and insanely happy. Taking a deep breath, Kylie nodded. “I’ll talk to him, but there’s something else I want to take care of first. I just need a couple of days, and then I can do it.” She turned back to face Krys. “How long are you here?”
"Our ticket is open-ended, but our visa's only for a month. We figured we would stay a week or so. We don't want to get in the way." Krys looked a little sad, and Kylie understood. It had to be hard, knowing how Jordan felt about his daughter and living so far away, especially knowing that leukemia had a tendency to come back. All three of them deserved better than that, needed to have as much time together as possible. And at the same time, Kylie wasn't exactly prepared to walk away and give Jordan up, now that she knew the truth.
But there were other ways, other things she could do. “Good. That means I can work some magic.” Both Krys and Reesa looked at her like she was crazy, confusing marring their features, but Kylie just smiled. “Come on, order something for lunch and eat with us. Then, I have somewhere I want to take you.”
Still looking completely baffled, Krys motioned for the waitress and ordered. “Whatever you’re planning, I have to pick Amy up at six. Jordan has a press conference to attend with Marcus about the children’s charity, so he can’t keep her after that.”
The children’s charity. How had that never crossed her mind? Kylie should have asked why he was so involved with that particular foundation. After all, Marcus had only become such an advocate and philanthropist because Jordan already donated to the cause. At least, that’s the story she’d heard.
"That's no problem. We'll have this done before the end of the workday," Kylie assured her. And if that was the case, maybe she wouldn't have to put off seeing Jordan and apologizing to him after all. It would be a brutal encounter, one in which she would have to admit to a lot of fault, and that hurt. But she could do it, if it meant possibly spending the rest of her life with the right man.
Chapter 9
Kylie’s nerves were on edge and her heart in her throat as she stood next to Krys, knocking on Jordan’s door. She heard small feet running across the floor, and then a beautiful blond girl who was the spitting image of Jordan, right down to those crystal blue eyes, opened the door. She had a green cast on her arm, from wrist to elbow, and it wrapped around her thumb, but her smile was gorgeous, and she practically bounced up into Krys’ arms.
“Mommy!” she squealed. She was tall; as Krys squeezed her, the girl’s feet dangled past the grown woman’s knees. “Can you smell what Dad made for dinner?” Hearing her call Jordan ‘Dad’ made Kylie’s heart swell and her stomach churn. Jordan was a father, and he had this amazingly beautiful and resilient daughter. It was a side of him she hadn’t ever imagined, and now, she would get to see it firsthand.
“I can smell it, you little rascal. Smells like pasta.”
“It’s his special pasta,” the girl said as she regained her feet. “With all the veggies and everything and the ground meat and chicken, too! It’s a huge pot.” Her little girl voice with the Australian accent would have been enough to make Kylie fall in love without her adorable personality or beauty.
“I hope so, because we have company.” For the first time, the girl looked up at Kylie, and she grinned broadly. “Come on, go get your dad, and tell him to come here for a minute.”
In a whisper, Amy said, “You’re Kylie. You’re even prettier than the pictures I saw. My dad really loves you.” Then, she hurried off into the kitchen. “Dad! Mommy’s here!”
“I’ll be right there, Krys. Just finishing up in here.” Jordan’s voice swept through Kylie like a chilled wind, making her shiver, but in a welcoming sort of way. He sounded hoarse, like he’d been sick, and when he rounded the corner into the room, he looked drained. “Sorry. That girl is hard to please. You spoil her with food, and that’s the only thing I can really cook.” He hadn’t looked up until the last word, and it barely came out as his eyes locked with Kylie’s. “Kylie.”
“Hi, Jordan.” Her voice trembled, and so did her hands as she clasped them tightly in front of her to still them.
Before she could say anything else, Amy bounded back into the room and tugged on Jordan’s arm. “Look, Dad, she’s here! I think she missed you, too. Are you two going to kiss and make up?”
Kylie bit her lip to keep from smiling at the innocent question as Krys snorted beside her and Jordan turned beet red. “Have you been watching soap operas with your mum again?”
“No, Dad. But that’s what you should do, right? Because you love each other. And me and Mommy came here to make sure you both knew that. Right, Mommy?”
“That’s right, sweetheart,” Krys said, humor in her tone. “But we need to leave them alone so they can talk, okay? Come on, let’s go get some hot cocoa at the café around the corner, and then we’ll go to the hotel.”
“Aw,” Amy whined, pouting out her bottom lip. The expression was so much like her father’s it was priceless. “What about Dad’s special pasta?”
“You like it better cold anyway, don’t you? And it’s going to be another hour before it’s done,” Jordan told her, squatting down and kissing the girl on the lips. He patted her rump and pointed toward Krys. “Go on, now. Go with your mum. I promise you two giant helpings tomorrow, one for lunch and one for dinner.”
With a huff, she replied, “Okay,” and trudged to her mother. She stopped and wrapped her arms around Kylie’s legs, throwing her whole body weight against her. “Please don’t be mad at Dad anymore. He was very happy with you, and I want him to be happy again.”
Touched beyond measure, Kylie smoothed her hand over Amy’s hair, which was soft and silky, just like her father’s. “I’m not mad anymore, sweetheart.”
“Good! I’ll see you later then.” With that, she was out the door, Krys waving as she followed the energetic girl out.
Alone with Jordan, Kylie didn’t know what to say, and she stood there, ten feet away, their eyes locked with all the pain and distance between them. Jordan broke the silence first. “I guess you met Krys.”
Kylie nodded. “And your daughter. She’s absolutely gorgeous, by the way. And the spitting image of you.”
He gave her a smile that didn’t reach his eyes. “I suppose I should take that as a personal compliment.” She gave a quick nod, but his smile disappeared, and he looked away, staring toward the kitchen as he leaned a hand against the wall, as if he needed the extra support. “What are you doing here, Kylie?”
She cleared her throat, trying to gauge his mood and figure out where to start. “I came for several
reasons. The first one is to apologize. I’m sorry I didn’t listen to you, didn’t give you a chance to explain the situation. I shouldn’t have been like that. I’d just told you how much I trusted you, but I proved otherwise when it mattered most.”
He nodded, still not looking at her. “I can understand. I wasn’t honest, and things looked bad. I can’t fault you for thinking I’m a wanker.”
She shrugged. “But I wouldn’t have, if I’d only given you a chance to explain. I was rash and unfair, and I should never have doubted you, when you’ve never lied to me about anything else. And technically, you didn’t lie about this. You just…didn’t mention it.”
“That was wrong of me on a lot of levels. You couldn’t form your opinion or your feelings toward me without full disclosure. I’m sorry I hurt you. I never meant to, and for the record, after that last night together, I just wanted to talk to Krys before I told you everything.” He sounded agonized, and Kylie hated it. She’d caused this, and she was going to fix it.
“I miss you, Jordan. I still love you, with everything inside me, and knowing now what you gave up to take care of your daughter only makes me more in awe of you,” she told him, complete honesty pouring out of her mouth. “I don’t know if you can forgive me, or if you can still find it in your heart to love me, but if you can, that’s what I want.”
“Kylie, I—“
She held up a hand to cut him off. “I’m not finished,” she said. She motioned to the couch. “Can we sit down?”
He nodded and took a seat. She sat facing him, perched on the edge of the couch, a few inches away. Just being this close to him make her skin tingle, her body buzz. In a week’s time, she’d nearly forgotten the effect he had on her. Tamping down the urge to reach out and touch him, she inhaled deeply and released the breath. “I’ve done a couple of things to help give everyone involved some peace of mind, and I hope it goes a long way in showing how important you and your family are to me. How much I want everyone to be safe and happy.”