“No, thanks to me,” he said proudly.
Nicole was looking down. What could be so bad?
“Alright, I’m less and less sure I want to hear this, but why don’t you start from the beginning,” I said.
“You mean when I got to your house this morning and Nicole was hurriedly washing your sheets?”
Nicole’s…well…my face turned beat red.
“Why were you washing…ohhhh.”
I felt a little bad for her and embarrassed at the same time. After all, it was my body.
“Okay, so what happened in P.E.?”
Both of them looked at me funny, like neither of them expected that response. Nicole seemed surprised, if not relieved. Mike seemed disappointed, but he recovered quickly.
“Well nothing really, if you don’t count that she started sporting a wood in the shower.”
“You what?” I said, with evident panic in my voice.
Right after I said it, I thought she was going to cry. She turned even redder than before and she put her head down.
“It’s not like I meant to. I was trying really hard not to look at anyone, you know down there, but I saw a guy I knew. I barely had the thought of curiosity before I realized I had looked. Then, all of a sudden the thing just started, you know, growing. Well, once it started I didn’t know what to do, I mean I don’t know how to control it. Now I know why people say they have a mind of their own.”
I was trying hard to get over the initial panic, because I did feel bad for her. She was doing that fast talking thing she seemed to do when she was nervous. In the end, it was my reputation that was on the line, though, so I tried to compose myself to ask how this ended.
“Okay, so does this story end badly or did nobody notice?”
“I think you’re cool, dude. I saw the freak on her face…well, your face, noticed the problem and snapped her with my towel.”
“Which really hurt, by the way,” Nicole interjected.
“Yeah, but it worked, didn’t it?” he asked.
“I guess so. After that, everything…went back to normal pretty quickly.”
I was relieved. I think it showed, because Nicole seemed to relax a bit after that. Mike seemed satisfied, too. It’s a little twisted how he takes pleasure in watching people squirm.
“We’ve got to get to class. I’ll see you both after school. We’ll meet at my locker.”
They both looked at me. “Jake’s locker.”
After lunch, fifth and sixth period seemed to go by without incident. The bell rang, I left Nicole’s government class, stopped at her locker to get her books and headed for my old locker.
Mike and Nicole were already there when I arrived to Nicole smacking Mike upside his head.
“Ow! Sorry…I forgot, okay?”
“What’s going on?” I asked, a little confused. I’m sure I must have looked irritated.
“Well,” Nicole started, “it seems that your friend has temporarily forgotten our current situation. As we were watching you walk up, he started telling me just exactly what he’d like to do to me. What was it you said Mike…you’d like to tap that? Which makes it really gross since you’d technically be tapping your best friend.”
“Mike,” I said with disgust in my tone.
“I’m sorry. I forgot she was you for a minute.”
“Yeah, but you know I don’t like it when you talk like that anyway…about anyone, but especially about Nicole.”
That made everyone quiet, and Nicole and I both turned red.
“It was a joke. Sue me!” Mike said, breaking the silence.
We left that conversation alone after that. We started heading out of school, when Mike broke the silence again.
“So,” he said, looking my way, “you comin’ over today?”
“I don’t think that’s a good idea,” I said. “Not today, anyway.”
“Why not?”
“He’s probably afraid of what you’d try and do to him,” Nicole said, the corners of her mouth, well my mouth, turning up slightly.
“Ha…ha…ha,” Mike retorted.
“Really, I have a lot of studying to do with Nicole. We still need to try and work out some kinks, and really…it doesn’t seem like a good idea for it to look like you and Nicole are hanging out. We’ll get together soon, but Nicole and I will both have to come.”
“Dude, we haven’t hung out in forever.”
“I know, but it’s been a little…difficult lately. Maybe tomorrow or the next day, okay?”
“I guess. Later then.”
“Later, Mike.”
He headed to his car, and we headed to Nicole’s. We both got in, I started the engine and started backing out.
“Do you want to study at my house today?” I asked.
“Sure.”
We drove in silence for most of the way, both of us lost in the peaceful moment, collecting ourselves.
We arrived at my house and headed inside.
“Do you want something to eat or drink?” she asked, taking on the role as host of my house.
I smiled at her. “I’m fine, thanks. By the way, tonight would be a night I would cook for my mom.”
“No problem. I’ll take care of it.”
“I can help,” I offered.
“That’s okay. I really don’t mind.”
I was still smiling and she noticed.
“What?”
“I was just thinking.”
“About what?”
“About how I was right about you,” I said a little shyly.
“How do you mean?”
I hesitated.
“What?” she pressed.
“Okay, don’t get all funny about this, but…it’s obvious you are pretty and everything, but you never really know what a person is like until you get to know them.”
“Uh-huhhh.”
“Well, I had a feeling that you were one of those girls who was genuine…not full of herself. I was right.”
I don’t think she knew what to say. She was quiet for a moment, so I decided to try and change the course.
“Don’t worry, there’s no deeper meaning to it. So…”
“No…thank you. That was very nice, and I appreciate it.”
I smiled.
“So,” I continued, “the rest of my day went pretty well. Did you have any problems?”
“No, everything went pretty well after this morning. How embarrassing. I mean, it was bad enough that it happened, but for Mike to come in and, I don’t even know how he put it all together.”
“He put it all together because it’s happened to him. He just jokes about it. I don’t think he gets embarrassed about anything.”
“How about you?”
“What do you mean?” I asked. “Do I get embarrassed?”
“Well, I was meaning does it happen to you, but I guess I’m curious about both questions.”
“Yeah, I get embarrassed…like now for instance.”
“Why are you embarrassed now?”
“Because we’re talking about my body and things we’ve both experienced in my body.”
“So, you have had it happen?”
“Yes, I’ve had it happen. I would guess most guys have, but guys don’t go around talking about it. I think it’s a pretty natural thing, but it’s frustrating because there’s never a good time for it to happen.”
“Yeah, it’s kind of gross,” she added.
“Thanks!” I said, trying to laugh it off.
“Sorry, I didn’t mean…”
“It’s okay,” I said shaking my head, “it is gross.”
She was quiet for a minute before she started the conversation again.
“So…any ideas on how I can control this thing in the showers?”
“Yeah, that’s kind of a unique problem. I mean, I’m pretty sure all of the other guys in there are actually guys. At least, I think that’s the case,” I said smiling. “I think you’re the only girl in a guy’s body, which means you’r
e probably the only one in there who gets excited at the sight of naked guys.”
“Thanks!”
“Well, it’s true. It’s a normal emotion…you’re just in the wrong body to be having it. You need to try and distract yourself.”
“I’ve tried, but it’s getting har…more difficult,” she said, correcting herself. “I didn’t have any problem before today, but now it’s like I’m more aware of it since this morning. Every time I think about it, the darn thing goes up!”
I was thinking about what to tell her and not coming up with a lot of answers. It’s difficult having this conversation with Nicole, yet she didn’t seem nearly as awkward.
“What?” she asked after a minute.
“It’s just, how are you so comfortable talking about this?”
“I don’t know, but I wouldn’t say I’m comfortable. I’m just used to talking about things. Usually it’s with my girlfriends, but in this case it seems appropriate to talk about it with you. It is your body, after all. I figure, if anyone knows how it works, it would be you. I don’t really get too embarrassed because…well, we can’t really control some of the things our bodies do. Now, if there’s a mental way to fix this, I’m all ears.”
“I don’t really know. I think the best thing you can do is just get…real familiar with mine.” Did I just say that? “What I mean is, they’re all pretty much the same. If you’re used to seeing mine, others probably won’t seem like such a big deal. I can’t believe I’m saying this out loud. I’m not really used to talking about this stuff.”
“I appreciate it. As uncomfortable as that advice is, I’ll take any advice at the moment.”
“Try thinking about calculus in the shower, too. Can’t hurt.”
“True,” she said. That was the end of that conversation, thankfully.
We spent the next several hours doing homework, talking about our classes and practicing our handwriting and anything else we could think of. We’d exchanged notes on friends that we didn’t see as often, just in case. We shared everything we could think of. It didn’t take long for me to feel more comfortable talking with Nicole than I did with anyone else. She didn’t tease or criticize me, and when she would laugh at me, it didn’t make me feel stupid.
I had a girlfriend a few years ago. She actually asked me out. I’m kind of selective, so I hadn’t asked anyone out until Nicole. But when I first met this girl, Katie, we would stay on the phone all night talking about anything and everything, just so we could hear each others’ voices it seemed. That is how this felt. Comfortable and new. We seemed to click…just like I thought we would. Anyway.
“Wow!” she said, startling me. “It’s five o’clock already?”
“I could stay and help,” I offered. Part of me wanted to continue talking with Nicole, but a bigger part of me wanted to see my mother.
“Thank you, but you’ve got a role to play, too. I think it’s safe to spend more time together at school, after school and on the weekends, but if we start spending all of our weeknights together, we’re going to start sending the wrong message to everyone. My girlfriends are going to start feeling avoided soon.”
“How so?” I asked.
“Sometimes, during the week, I’ll get together with them. After I’m done studying, of course. They’ll call you a lot of the time, but make sure you call them sometimes.”
“Who do you usually call? What do you do?”
“I call Jess the most, but I call Caryn and Meredith pretty often too. We go to movies, as long as we’re home by ten, get together and listen to music, go to the mall…really it doesn’t matter. We just like to get together.”
I started packing up my things. “Okay, well I guess I’ll get going.”
She started walking me to the door. “This is strange.”
“What’s strange…other than everything right now?” she said, smiling.
“You, walking me out in my own house.”
She smiled and gave an expression acknowledging the strangeness of the situation.
“Okay, so I have all of the clothes set up in the closet for you. I think I have a dress for you tomorrow. Blue with a splash of yellow swirls for accent.”
“I think I’ve seen you in that dress. You look good in it. I mean…you know…not that…”
She smiled. “Relax.”
I smiled back. “Oh, I almost forgot,” I said as she opened the door, “skirts and dresses. How do you maneuver them in the bathroom?”
“Oh. Sorry. Skirts are like shorts. You shouldn’t have any trouble with them. Dresses…pull the dress up over your backside and then pull it forward, so you have the material bunched in the front and tight in the back. You’ll get the knack for it pretty quickly.”
“Thanks, I’ll try that. See you tomorrow,” I said, leaving.
On the way to Nicole’s house, I heard her phone ring and I answered, hesitantly.
“Hello?”
“Hey Nikki, it’s Jess.”
“Hey, Jess. What’s up?”
“Caryn, Meredith and I want to go to the movies tonight. Can you come?”
I know that Nicole said I needed to spend time with her friends, but I’m not ready. Mike knows what’s going on, so Nicole doesn’t have to worry about slipping up. I do.
“I’d love to go to the movies, but I can’t tonight.”
“How come? Do you have to study with Jake?” she asked, with a little hint of teasing to her tone.
“No, I don’t have to study with Jake,” I said, returning the playful tone. “I do have to study, though.” This was actually true, but I didn’t have that much more to study tonight.
“Well, what about tomorrow night? We haven’t seen you much, lately.”
“Okay. We’ll go out tomorrow night. What do you want to do?”
“Maybe the girls will wait to go to the movies tomorrow. I’ll ask them. If not, let’s go to the mall. We’ll go guy shopping.”
“Uhh…okay. I’ll see you tomorrow then. Bye, Jess.”
“Bye!”
Guy shopping. What the heck is that?
I was actually looking forward to getting to Nicole’s. I was hungry, and I was hoping Nicole’s mother would have dinner ready.
After that, I would shower and get ready for tomorrow. I did have to get out of this French Braid. After two days, it was starting to get uncomfortable. I’m surprised Nicole hadn’t mentioned hair styles today, but I guess she’s had a lot on her own plate to think about. I’ll see if I can figure out how to do her hair on the internet. It doesn’t seem like it should be that difficult to do.
I arrived at Nicole’s house, parked and walked in through the garage. Nicole’s mother was in the kitchen.
“Hi Sweetie!” Dinner’s almost ready. Go tell Dad he’s got five minutes.”
“Sure.”
Nicole’s father was in his office, working on a project and singing a song he had playing on a stereo.
“Hey, Nikki! How are you doing, Pumpkin?”
“I’m good. How are you doing?”
“I’m great! I’m just finishing up a project I’ve been working on for work. Is dinner almost ready?”
“Yeah…Mom…asked me to tell you it will be ready in five minutes.”
“Okay. I’ll wrap this up and be there in a few.”
He smiled as he went back to his work. I went back to the kitchen to help Nicole’s mother.
“Is there anything I can help with?” I asked, as I washed my hands for dinner.
“You could put the potatoes on the table,” she offered, smiling.
That wasn’t what I had in mind, but I was happy to help. Truth is, I enjoy cooking for my mother. It’s just one more reminder that my life has been turned upside down lately. We sat down to dinner with Nicole’s father at one end of the table and Nicole’s mother and I sitting across from each other. Nicole’s father said grace and we began eating.
“So, how was your day, Nicole?” her father asked.
“It was fine,
” I said, trying to sound upbeat.
“Hmmm,” he said.
I looked up at him, afraid I had said something wrong.
“Is something wrong?” I asked.
“I was going to ask you the same thing,” he said.
“Why?”
“You’ve just seemed different the last few days. And usually when I ask you about your day, you’ve got lots to talk about. You’ve seemed quiet and more reserved lately.”
“It’s this new boy…Jake, right?” her mother asked, nodding as though she understood. “You’ve been spending a lot of time with him.”
“Well, yes…I’ve been spending a lot of time with him, but it’s not like that. I didn’t realize I was being quiet. There wasn’t really much to talk about from school today. I went to Jake’s house after school to study. Then I came home.”
“What are Jake’s parents like?” Nicole’s father asked.
“Well, his mother is really nice. I really like her. His father left home when he was really young.”
There was a look of concern on their faces. This conversation was getting uncomfortable.
“So, is anybody there at his house during the day?” her father asked.
“No, his mother works during the week.”
More look of concern showed on their faces.
“Nicole,” he said after a moment, “you know we trust you, but we don’t really know this boy very well yet. I know you’ll use good judgment, but it concerns me a little that you are over at his house with nobody else there in the afternoon.”
I looked at them both. I guess I understood why they were saying this, but they were talking about me. I was trying hard not to take offense to what he was saying.
“It’s really not like that. We are just friends, and Jake is a good person. You don’t have anything to worry about.”
“He may be a great person, but I still don’t know him very well. All I know is that my daughter is spending a lot of time with a boy who doesn’t have a father and whose mother isn’t home during the week. That makes for a lot of time for him to be raising himself.”
He was keeping his tone calm and respectful, but his words still hurt a lot. I could feel my face turning red, and my eyes start to water. I didn’t know what to say. I mean, it’s not like Nicole’s mother is always home during the week. I decided not to say anything. They both seemed to have noticed, because the tone of the conversation seemed to change after that.
In My Shoes Page 14