by Moore, Mary
She was pensive for a moment. “No, I am not. I cannot despise Society when God has placed me here. But I feel…sorrow that what is important in Society is what is transpiring in the ballroom. I see little evidence that much else matters except to see and be seen.”
“I see that getting to know you could take a bit more time than the space of a ball.”
Nicole smiled at his restraint. She knew he would have little patience for such words had he not been intent upon flirting with her. Would she be missing the one chance she had to tell him about her beliefs? It was clear the conversation would never fit into the short space of time on a moonlit terrace, so she answered his question. “My home is in Cheltenham in Gloucester. My father’s estate is there, and I am securely attached to it and its inhabitants.” She had almost forgotten he was present. “The scents of the garden were making me nostalgic as well. I am afraid I am quite the enthusiast when it comes to roses and I had a decided curiosity toward Mr. Repton and his work here.”
She had to rein her thoughts in once again. “Unfortunately, I could not leave the ballroom earlier when I could have strolled through the famed atrium he created for Lady Swathmore. I understand his acclaimed work with fountains is represented here as well.” She smiled unevenly as she said, “What a pity it is a sight that only the rich and prestigious may see.”
She shook off her melancholy. “However, the smell of the roses was enough to carry me back to the country. Believe it or not, I even miss my chores!” She chuckled at the last. “Since my father died I have been helping to run our estate. The new earl has not yet…taken an interest in his new home.” She shook off that thought. “I am even more amazed at how much time is taken up in London with nothing getting accomplished!” She stopped on this comment, embarrassed again for going on about a subject of absolutely no interest to anyone but herself.
“I am amazed that I have only now had the pleasure of meeting you!”
Nicole was not in the least surprised. “We have just spent the past five hours in the same house and we have not met.” She left unsaid her purpose to avoid as much of the company as possible. “Unlike you, I am surprised that even though the same people attend the same affairs night after night no one gets better acquainted. I have come to the conclusion that the hosts of such events only count them a success should their drawing rooms be so overcrowded that guests need only spend a few moments in each other’s company!”
“I can see,” he said, very seriously, “each time we begin a conversation you will twist it so that I get no answer at all.” His stature changed and he became less flirtatious. “I apologize in advance for once again sounding arrogant, but whether I wish it or not, I usually come into contact with the new crop of belles each Season. Had I met you sooner, I would know more about you now than that you are attached to your home and that you are a follower of Mr. Repton. I, too, have a particular interest in his work, although I find some of his designs too intricate and symmetrical for my taste. Much more to my liking are some of Sir William Townsend Aiton’s ideas in the royal gardens.”
She let out a little gasp of surprise.
“You see, even on so short acquaintance we have much in common, and I am not the conceited simpleton you think me!”
He left the topic, however. “Do not imagine I have forgotten the provocative comment you made about having no desire to marry. That in itself makes you different from every other woman here.”
The gentleman placed his finger under her chin and gently turned her head toward him. It was too intimate a gesture for a first meeting and it embarrassed her. “Your attention seems bent solely upon this stone terrace. Oddly enough I would prefer it to be on me, despite my earlier attempts to send you off posthaste.”
Nicole could not raise her eyes to his. She was afraid her confused emotions might show. Why would this man, who by his own admission was much sought after, show interest in her? Did he intend to add her name to a list of conquests? She had foolishly admitted she had no males to protect her, though she knew Toby would not stand idly by and see her hurt.
His hand still cupped her chin, and it made Nicole feel decidedly strange. She had never felt such an immediate connection with a man and she could not explain it. Lord, protect me from this gentleman and from myself, she prayed quickly. This is what it could be like, if her malady did not exist.
She turned her face back toward the candlelit ballroom. She knew God’s plan for her did not include marriage, but in her daydreams, she still saw it all. She would meet a man she could love who would share her humor and appreciation for the country. She dared to conjure up someone who would appreciate her family ties, but especially her love of God. He would accept her, defects and all.
Dream though she might, she was much too practical to dwell on what could not be. She must rely on the verses in Jeremiah that now gave her confidence. For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, saith the Lord, thoughts of peace, and not of evil, to give you an expected end. Her expected end did not include marriage, but God promised His peace would accompany it.
“You must forgive me. I meant no insult.” He resorted to humor again. “I do believe you and the moonlight have conspired to bewitch me!” Flirting followed close on its heels. “I do not believe that I have ever spent half an hour with a woman without once hearing the latest gossip or being asked to give my opinion on a new bonnet. Your conversation pleases me. I believe I have determined Society to be a dead bore.”
Nicole could almost hear his mind working, and somehow she knew he would continue with a preposterous statement.
“Let me assure you, however, if you should wish to discuss bonnets, I trust I could hold my own.”
She tried to hold back her laughter, but said in a choked voice, “I have no doubt about it, sir.” Nicole was confused, to say the least. First he made her laugh, then angry, then laugh again! She made an instant decision that there was a great deal too much disparity in their lives for such a friendship to prosper. Her heart fought her stubborn head, but she could not afford to let go of the plans she believed God intended for her life. “I accept your apology then, but I really must go now. Do forgive me.”
Suddenly Nicole heard her mother’s voice as she came out into the darkness from the sparkling ballroom. “Nicky, dear, are you out here? There you are! I have been looking everywhere for you and was starting to worry. I knew you wanted to sneak out to the gardens and was afraid you might have gotten… Oh dear, who are you?” Her mother was indignant. “Nicky, what can you mean standing alone in the dark with a man?”
“Mama, nothing untoward happened. I came out for a breath of fresh air. You know how easily the stifling heat drives me out of doors. Unfortunately, I interrupted this poor…um, gentleman…seeking the same.”
Nicole heard his muted chuckle at her obvious hesitation before using the word “gentleman” and rushed on. “I was just excusing myself to return to you.”
The “gentleman” was back on familiar ground, however, and began a charming assault on Nicole’s mother. “Please, ma’am, let me introduce myself to you. I am Jared DeVale, Lord Devlin, at your service. Your daughter and I were just discussing bonnets when you came out. I was hoping she might help me decide on something perfect for my grandmother.”
Nicole commented under her breath that she did not believe for one instant he had a grandmother. It reached his ears and caused a delighted gleam to enter his eyes. How wonderful it was to have someone understand and appreciate one’s sense of humor.
Nicole knew that once her mother learned he was a London lord, she would change from indignant to indulgent on the instant. The time had come to end this meeting and put the whole episode behind her. “Lord Devlin, I am afraid that my mother, Lady Beaumont, has probably called for our carriage by now. She knows how these late evenings tire me.”
Lady Beaumont’s surprise at a statement made by her daughter, who had more stamina than a regiment of soldiers, made her uneasy.
“
It has been a pleasure discussing…ah…bonnets with you, my lord, and I pray you will give your dear grandmother our regards.”
“I certainly shall, my lady,” he said, chuckling out loud. He then added, “Lady Beaumont, I hope that you will allow me to call on you in London next week. Ladies, you have my compliments.” With that, he bowed and passed them into the house.
As Nicole and her mother linked arms and walked back toward the ballroom, Nicole vowed she would forget this night had ever happened, and she would certainly never think again for one moment about Jared DeVale, Lord Devlin!
Chapter Two
“Lord Devlin! Dear Nicky, he is only the most sought-after man in all of London. And an earl! Of course he may call on us if he wishes. I only pray that you do not get your hopes up too high. No doubt he offers such compliments as a general rule and cannot remember even half the people he meets.” Nicole and her mother were in the carriage on the way home after bidding farewell to Lady Swathmore.
“Nicky, you must at least have heard about him. I vow I hear something new of him wherever we go.” Her mother’s voice changed to a discreet whisper. “I declare he is even more handsome than rumor has it. His raven-black hair makes him most dashing. He is reputed to have the bluest eyes in all of London. Such a pity I could not make them out in the dark. I recall someone telling me that he once caused a young lady to faint with his intense gaze. I suppose she must have been quite a goose to have been so overset.” Nicole could only smile at her mother’s words. “I thought his hair a trifle too long to be quite fashionable,” her mother continued, “but young men are of a different stamp than in my day. However, most of the ladies seem to like it very much. Tell me, Nicky, what did you think of him?”
Fortunately, her mother did not require an actual response.
“Apparently he is still quite popular, though he is considered somewhat haughty and standoffish.” Lady Beaumont finished her descriptions of the gentleman with a sigh. “Nicky, were I twenty years younger I should be vying for his attentions myself!”
Nicole could hold her laughter no longer and leaned over to hug her mother. “I believe you would win his heart immediately, did he know it,” Nicole bubbled.
She had known from the timbre of Lord Devlin’s voice and his natural arrogance that he must be much sought after. But now that her mother had expounded on his reputation, Nicole could be sure it had just been a moonlight flirtation and she could forget it ever happened. In any event, she supposed she could try.
“Mama, this whole evening was a disappointment to both of us. Sitting out all of the dances is becoming excruciating, especially when I am stuck in conversation with the likes of Lord Stokes. I do not make friends of my own when I sit with the dowagers all evening. My only pleasure was to be the cool breeze on the terrace, yet what was the outcome? I am accused of trying to compromise some haughty lord into marriage! I am weary of this and wish to go home.”
“What in heaven’s name are you talking of?” Her mother stared in question but continued in complaint. “Really, Nicky, you will say anything to shorten our stay, and you promised you would try to enjoy it. You are the one who set the conditions during this trip. You vowed no one must know of your condition and now you are complaining because it hinders you from enjoying any of the events. Why can we not admit your situation and get on with it?”
Nicky reached over to her mother and hugged her again. “Mama, I am sorry to be such a disappointment to you. I know you think if I told everyone about the accident things would be better. But do you not see that they would be so much worse? Now I am only relegated to the dowager section and can still sit out dances with some conversation. If Society knew about me, no one would know how to treat me. People would ignore me because they would not know what to say to me.”
Nicole continued in a tired voice, “Mama, anyone here who would accept my inabilities would be friendly enough, but then I would be cosseted to death. You know that is worse than anything for me. You promised if I agreed to come to London we could keep it a secret as long as possible. That gives me the illusion of having a normal Season.”
Lady Beaumont sighed and took Nicole’s hand. “My dear, I only want to give you the chance to meet someone you could love and trust, as I did your dear father. People are not intentionally mean or cruel, just ignorant of differences they do not understand.” She gripped Nicole’s hand tightly. “Every man you meet will not be like Michael. What he did was abominable. When you meet the man God intended for you, he will appreciate the strength and courage you have shown and will love you as much as we do.”
She hurried on. “We must also have faith that Dr. Morrison will give you a brighter prognosis for the future.” She patted her daughter’s hand in sympathy. “Now no more talk of going home. We will be back at Beaufort Hall soon enough.”
“Very well, Mama. Why do you not rest until we get home. You know Chelsea may have fallen asleep in one of our beds and will want a full account of the ball when we get there.” Nicole had yearned for solitude on the drive home, but her mind betrayed her by reliving the wonderful time spent on the Swathmores’ terrace. Since the drastic change in her life, Nicole had come to the conclusion that she must remain unwed and was unwavering in her decision. Her mother’s mention of Michael only confirmed it.
Michael had been the first man she had really loved. He was a doctor and she had thought so highly of him. She had looked forward to sharing a life helping others and raising children among the families and friends in Cheltenham. She had thought she had found that with Michael. But when she had had her accident, he had become more and more distant until he had finally asked her to release him from his promise. He needed a helpmeet, he had said. She could no longer be that. With a heart that only she’d known was broken, she had released him. That’s when she had learned that the disability that had so affected her life, making each day harder to cope with, also made her a burden. She had determined she would not be a burden to her family, and she had become resolved never to be a burden to a husband.
Tonight, however, had reminded her of what her life could have been, and she realized that her conviction might cause her as much pain as the daily reminder she had to contend with.
She did everything in her power to turn her mother’s mind from the meeting with Lord Devlin, yet now she herself could think of nothing but the enigmatic man bent on furthering an acquaintance with her. While such reflections made her seriously regret a solitary future, she determined that God would help her effectively convince others that she was content in His plan for her, and she was striving for that contentment daily.
Despite her protests to the contrary, Nicole had heard of the renowned Lord Devlin. Since she spent much of her time with the dowagers, what she had heard had not been favorable. A major complaint was that he took an active interest in his estates rather than giving them into the hands of bailiffs. And the soldiers! Well, they could not even speak of his association with those of such low descent.
These were comments Nicole had overheard, but none were characteristics that made her think less of him. Indeed, she had secretly desired to know more of the man who flouted the conventions of Society and followed his convictions.
She had long ago built a wall around her own heart. It was not enough to stop her innermost attachments, but for protection from just such a hurt as she had set herself up for tonight. She thought once again of the pleasure she’d had being treated as a desirable woman. It proved that her self-constructed armor was still impervious to an irresistible gentleman on a moonlit terrace!
She allowed him that small entrance into her inner sanctum and knew he might be the man with the power to penetrate it completely. Her only other option was to create a more indomitable edifice around her heart that would affect all who would seek to gain her love, not just prospective suitors. Her nature balked at that thought. She had been given a heart for God, and she intended to follow the dictates of that heart.
Upon arrival at
the townhouse, Nicole bid the servants good-night and climbed the stairs. Toby, her personal servant, accompanied Nicole to her bedchamber. He never retired until he was assured of her safety. “Thank you, Toby.” He was a gentle giant and she loved him dearly. She put her hand on his arm to stay him a moment, but embarrassment made her keep her face averted.
“Toby, I want to thank you for the time alone on the terrace this evening. I know you were close by. Maybe close enough to hear parts of my conversation with Lord Devlin?” She did not wait for his answer. “I know it was you disturbing the ducks!” She had startled him, but she only laughed. “Do not worry. I truly appreciate your restraint when I am sure you felt the need to interrupt. It was quite pleasant having a normal, relaxed conversation for a change. I believe the gentleman even flirted a little, do you not think so?”
Toby’s brow furrowed as he said, “I couldn’t ’ear most of what you said, Lady Nick, and you know I don’t go in for no eavesdropping. I know you can take care of yourself most of the time.” They reached her door, and he waited to be sure she was safely inside before he left her. She could hear Chelsea’s even breathing; the girl was asleep on the divan.
At a touch Chelsea came awake with a start. She rubbed her eyes and stifled a yawn. “Oh, Nicky, what time is it? I vowed I would be quite grown up tonight and not fall asleep. Confound it! Here I have done that very thing.”
Nicole hugged her, laughing. “There were several ladies snoring softly at the ball. You were not alone, pet!”
“Nicky, never say you sat with the dowagers again all evening,” cried her sister. “I prayed and prayed God would give you a good time for a change. Papa always told me if it was for the good of someone other than me, my prayers would always be specially answered.”
Nicole put on her most impish smile and chuckled at her sister. “You are a little minx! Your prayers were not only answered, they must have given even the angels enjoyment! Where should I begin? Lady Swathmore’s turban kept tilting side to side until footmen were following behind her at each step to make sure she did not topple over.