by Nicola Haken
“So what’s your dream now?” I asked curiously, shifting on my side to face him, propping myself up on my elbow. Mason was still sitting up straight with his back against the headboard and the Xbox controller still on his lap.
“Photography - being able to capture a whole story with just one photo. It captivates me. Life and people captivate me. To be able to take something, or someone, and create an image, a piece of art that will last forever…” he trailed off, his cheeks pinking just slightly as if he was embarrassed. But he had never looked so damn beautiful as the passion he held in his words made his blue eyes glisten with pride. “So tell me,” he continued, changing the subject. “How’d you get into this business? Sounds like you were going places working for Elle, what made you give that up?”
“I like hairdressing, but I don’t feel that passion for it like you do with photography. I left school with no qualifications, it was only a matter of time before my parents kicked me out and I needed a job. I applied for anything and everything – all kinds of different apprenticeships; something that could actually take me somewhere one day. Elle was the first one to reply and the second we met we just hit it off. She said I was cocky and mischievous and that her clients would love that. She’s been like a mum to me ever since. But don’t ever tell her I said that – she’s getting a bit tetchy about her age now she’s nearing the big three-oh. Honestly, you’d think she was hitting sixty not thirty.”
“You don’t talk about your parents much,” Mason noted.
“Because they’re arseholes.”
“So did they? Kick you out I mean?”
“Yeah. Two weeks after my sixteenth birthday and the day I started working at the salon. Being an apprentice, the money wasn’t great and of course London is one of the most expensive cities in the world to live in. I ended up in a grimy hostel until Elle figured out what was happening, then she helped me get set up in a little studio-flat near work.
“That was going well for a few years until…” Shit I’d never discussed this with anyone except Elle before. “Fuck I can’t believe I’m about to tell you this, but…” I sucked in a deep breath, trying desperately to pluck up the courage to share this piece of myself with someone I already considered one of my best friends.
“You know I won’t judge you, Ry.”
“I was a smack addict,” I said quickly, closing my eyes when I heard the words come out of my mouth. “Long story short, it came to a head when Elle caught me stealing from the salon to fund my habit. I’ll never forget the look of disappointment in her eyes as long as I live,” I admitted shamefully. “I lost the flat she helped set me up in, spent the rent on heroin instead. I’d sold most of my stuff, pushed away the few friends I had… I had nothing. Except Elle.
“She should’ve kicked me to the fucking curb, reported me, hated me for what I did. Instead she fucking hugged me. She hugged me and spent the next nine months of her life helping me get better. She forfeited any kind of social life so she could keep an eye on me. She came to every doctor appointment, every counselling session, every methadone clinic. She’s the only person who’s never given up on me.”
“Fuck,” was all Mason said, blowing out a breath. “But… you’re clean now?” he asked nervously.
“Yeah. Still an addict of course. Always will be. The urge will always be there, some days more than others. But I don’t want to live like that again. I won’t live like that again. Elle, Ivan, and now you are the only three people in my life that know about it. Once I was clean I stayed with Elle for a while, but she had her own life and I felt like I was holding her back. She never said that of course, but she never brought any guys home, or went out partying and shit and I didn’t know if that was because she felt an obligation to stay home with me and keep me out of trouble.”
“So what did you do?”
“I crawled back to my parents’ house. Sucked up to them, humoured them, told them what they wanted to hear. But I don’t want to talk about them.” Ever. Not even Elle knew the shit that drenched our family, the shit that made me rip open that first needle, the shit that still taunted me when I was sleeping…and she never would. “But I could only keep on lying about who I was for so long, and when they found out that’s how I ended up on tour with the band.”
“From the second I met you I got this vibe from you – like a confidence. A strength. This just proves how strong you really are.”
“I’m not strong,” I protested weakly. “Just a good actor.” I winked in an attempt to play down the emotions clogging my throat but somehow Mason saw right through me.
“You don’t act with me,” he said seriously. “I’ve seen you out there,” he added, cocking his head towards the window, “That cocky, mischievous, don’t give a fuck party animal. And I’ve seen you in here, with me. Mellow, smart, funny – just as happy watching Dancing with the Stars eating a carton of ice cream as you are smoking pot and shoving your ass in people’s faces. You don’t show yourself, not the real you, to many people. I’ve seen you do it with Elle and Ivan and I’ve seen you do it with me. I’ve seen you forget to act. I’ve seen you, Ryder, and I’m telling you, you are strong.”
I shook my head, wondering why he would think that.
“I kinda wanna kiss you right now.” I didn’t realise I’d said my thoughts aloud until Mason scooted down the bed, rolled onto his side to face me and cupped my neck with his hand.
His eyes didn’t close as he leaned in, and the second his lips touched mine I felt something. Something new. Not the raging erection having a party in my pants, not the feel of his skin against mine or the wetness of his tongue as it brushed against my lips. I’d felt all those things before with countless different people, but this was different, unfamiliar. I don’t know how to describe it. A warmth perhaps? A tingle. A need. Maybe even fear.
Whatever it was I wanted more, so I pushed Mason onto his back, locking my lips with his as I slipped my hand under his shirt. The kiss quickly turned heated, physically and mentally. We only broke apart to remove our clothes before we were back on each other again, fisting each other’s hair and crashing our hungry tongues together.
“Let’s slow this down a little,” I forced myself to say. Not only because if this led to where I thought it was going, if I was about to take his virginity, I wanted it to be slow and as special as I could make it for him, but also because I wasn’t ready for it to be over yet. When I rolled back onto my side and thought about it, I realised this was the first time it hadn’t been all about the end goal.
I can’t lie, being in this industry, having to perform on demand so often and having to ‘last’ for so long, Viagra played a huge part in my work, and sometimes in my social life too. But not today. Not with Mason. I didn’t know why, but I wanted to be able to feel every inch of him. My dick was so swollen it was almost painful – there was no chance of me losing that with him lying beneath me. My only concern was that I would come the second I entered him, but if I did I would just have to slow down. Take my time with him. Enjoy him.
“This feels weird,” I admitted, flattening my palm against his taut stomach.
“How’d you mean?”
“I don’t know. Just weird.”
“Well good weird or bad weird?”
“I don’t know yet weird.”
“I can top if it’s making you nervous?”
“Nooo, it’s not that.” At least I didn’t think it was. “Forget I said anything. Let’s just take it slow.”
I smoothed my hand over his abs, following the trail of faint hair that dusted his muscles. I took my time, trying but failing to fathom why I was enjoying the feel of his soft skin so much. Mason wound his fingers into my hair while I stroked across his shoulder and down his arm. Every so often his cock would twitch, almost as if it was begging for my touch, but I didn’t want to go there yet – when I did this, whatever this was, would be nearly over.
“Are you nervous?” I asked, moving my hand onto his thigh and skimming o
ver the hair there.
“No,” he replied, and for some reason I instantly believed him. “I thought I would be, but I’m not.”
I hitched up so our faces were closer, and then I spent a moment caressing the day-old stubble on his cheek. He stared straight into my eyes, paralysing me and making that mysterious ‘feeling’ appear again. The only thing I could think of to make it go away was to kiss him so, closing my eyes, I took his bottom lip into my mouth, sucking on it gently before meeting his tongue with my own.
“I want to suck your dick so much right now,” I murmured into his mouth. I felt his smile against my lips and took it as permission to shimmy down the bed and settle myself between his parted legs.
His cock was beautiful – thick, long and uncut with a pronounced vein running from base to tip and just itching to be licked. Instinctively, my tongue darted from my mouth and trailed all the way up that delicious vein before swirling over his tip. A shot of flavour teased my taste buds and unable to hold back any longer I sucked him all the way in. Mason groaned, arching his hips and pushing his dick straight to the back of my throat.
“You taste amazing,” I said after releasing him just long enough to speak.
“You feel amazing.”
I continued to suck him for what could’ve been forever yet not nearly long enough. Then gripping the underside of his thighs, I pushed his legs up, exposing his perfectly pink and tight hole. I kissed around it, teasing him and making him writhe on the mattress before gathering moisture in my mouth and spreading it around his puckered rim with my tongue.
“Even your arse tastes good.”
“Holy fuck…” Mason moaned as I dipped my tongue inside. He was tight. Too tight. I needed to loosen him up.
“Do you finger yourself here when you jerk off?” I asked, kissing along his thigh.
“Sometimes.”
“Show me.” Mason looked down at me, his eyes so intense I felt like his gaze alone could set me on fire. “Show me what you do to yourself when you’re alone.”
Drawing his eyebrows together and pursing his lips, Mason’s hand trailed lower, running over his body and then his dick before settling in the groove of his sweet arse. He gathered some moisture from where I’d been licking on the tip of his finger and pushed it inside, groaning as he did. I tilted my head back a little, biting my lip as I watched him pleasuring himself. It was the sexiest thing I’d ever seen in my life.
Unable to help myself, my mouth salivating, I leaned forward and starting licking around his finger as it slid in and out of his body. He moaned my name, making my dick twitch, and I had to back away to take a few deep breaths before I came all over the bed sheets.
“Let me take over,” I said, needing to feel him again.
After spitting on my index finger I eased it slowly inside him and stilled.
“That feel okay?” I checked.
“More than okay,” he ground out, biting his bottom lip as he stared down at me. “It feels fucking incredible.”
Bringing my mouth back up to his dick, I drew my lips up and down his thick shaft while I worked my finger in and out of his arse in a steady rhythm a few times before adding another.
“Jesus Christ, that feels so fucking good. I want to feel you, Ry. Properly.”
“Not yet,” I whispered over his cock. “I need you to relax a little more for me.”
“Then you need to stop touching my dick,” he said and I smiled against his stomach. I knew he was close – his taste was growing more intense. So after kissing my way down his cock and rolling my tongue over his tightening balls, I crawled up to my knees and reached over to my bedside table to grab the lube and a condom. He eyed me up curiously, presumably because I said he wasn’t ready yet. He smiled knowingly however when he watched me pump a few generous dollops onto my fingers.
I slipped in the same two fingers, scissoring them and making him gasp before adding a third.
“Ah, fuck,” he moaned into air, fisting the sheets beside him.
“Does that feel good, tiger?”
“Yeah. Oh fuck yeah it does. Push them further.”
Happy to oblige, I did as he asked. I pushed into his slick hole, crooking my forefinger against his gland every time I worked my way back out. I did this several times until I knew he was ready, and it was a good job because so much blood had pooled into my cock I thought I might pass out if I had to wait any longer.
Kneeling up, I plucked the condom from the mattress and suited myself up. When I positioned my cock at Mason’s entrance I saw a slight shift in his expression. His thick eyebrows pursed slightly in apprehension so I bent down and kissed him slowly, sighing at the taste of him.
“Relax,” I whispered against his lips.
“I’m okay,” he assured with a slight crack in his voice.
Kneeling back on my heels I lubed up my cock and then took hold of the base with my fingers. After a nod of permission from Mason, I guided myself into him slowly, pushing through the resistance.
And that was when I realised.
That bewildering feeling? It was connection. Something I’d never experienced before but the second I delved into the warmth of him I just knew that’s what it was.
“Jesus…” he whimpered, squeezing his eyes closed. I gave him a moment to get used to the intrusion before withdrawing just a little and pushing back in.
“You good?” I asked when he opened his eyes.
“Good,” he smiled, reaching out to touch my chest.
“I’m gonna go a little faster.” He nodded in response and I withdrew to the tip before sinking right back in. “Fucking hell, Mason…You feel so goddamn good.” I rocked my hips back and forth, plunging deeper each time.
“Yeah?”
“Yeah. So fucking tight around my dick.”
Flopping forwards I snaked my arm behind his back, pulling him towards me in a semi-sitting position.
“Fuck yeah. God that’s so good,” he rasped, gripping onto my shoulders. As my speed increased, Mason’s hips started thrusting with me, working me closer to orgasm.
“Come for me, tiger. I’m not gonna last much longer,” I said breathlessly, gritting my teeth when I felt the all too familiar tingle spread down my spine. Burying his head in my neck and kissing along the sensitive flesh, Mason gripped his dick with his hand and started fisting himself up and down. “Fuck yes, baby,” I ground out. “Let me see you explode.”
I could feel his orgasm building along with my own. His arse contracted around me, making me cry out. My balls drew up into my body and spikes of pleasure shot through my hips.
“I’m gonna…” he began. “Oh fuck I’m gonna…”
“Me too, babe.” Mason’s load spurted from his dick, spraying upwards and coating my face. My tongue shot out of its own accord and I licked his flavour from my lips. It was all I needed to send me flying over the edge and with one last, forceful thrust my cock jerked, spilling the most intense release I’d ever experienced into him.
This was the point I’d usually pull away, but for some unknown reason I found myself still holding him in my arms.
“Ryder that was… that was fucking amazing.”
“Yeah,” I agreed, unable to supress my smile. “Yeah it was pretty hot.” But it was also so much more. I just didn’t understand what it was.
“You’ve got a little, um…” he said, grinning as he wiped some spunk off my chin. Without a thought I wrapped my lips around his finger, moaning at the taste of him once again. “Hey, Ry?”
“Yeah?”
“You’re gonna have to move. I’m getting cramps in my legs.”
“Sorry,” I chuckled, reluctantly pulling my semi-erection out of him. “I’m gonna take a shower.”
“Sure,” was all he said. And so, climbing off the bed, I left the room without looking back at him. That feeling had returned, only this time it was so powerful I felt like I was about to get knocked right on my arse.
Fuck.
Chapter Five
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~Mason~
One month later…
I woke up to over twelve thousand Twitter followers this morning. How cool was that? In just one month! I was sure I was getting the hang of this now. I’d gotten naked selfies down to a fine art and I’d done three scenes, each one just getting better. My confidence had grown – I knew how things worked behind the scenes and I’d also got to know most of the guys, which helped a lot. Now all I needed was some decent money, but Ivan had been having some kind of trouble with the bank so our paychecks would be delayed a few weeks. It sucked, but I trusted Ivan, so I guessed I’d just have to wait.
“You set?”
I drained the last gulp of water from the bottle in my hand and turned to face Ryder who’d just emerged from his bedroom. Ivan had called a meeting this morning and we were due to leave any minute. After that Ryder was shooting a scene with Taylor and I said I’d stay back to help set it up.
“Sure,” I answered, tossing my empty bottle into the trash. “I’ll just grab my bag.”
“I’ll wait in the car.” I nodded, but he was already gone.
Things had been what I can only describe as weird since Ryder and I slept together. We were still friends, but something had, I don’t know – shifted. It was small things really. Like how he always came out from the shower fully dressed, whereas a month ago he wouldn’t have given a shit if the Queen herself was sitting in his living room, he’d still waltz through to his room in all his naked glory. Or how we only seemed to talk about trivial stuff, like work or the latest Twitter war. Even the fact he didn’t put his feet up on my lap when we were sitting on the couch together.
I could’ve been reading too much into things. I could hardly say I ‘knew’ him after so little time. But things still felt weird regardless and I couldn’t help wondering if I’d upset him somehow, or if he regretted confiding in me that night, or if he was frustrated that I was still living here. I’d reassured him that I would find my own place as soon as I got paid, but he just shrugged me off and said it didn’t matter. Or maybe, despite the fact we were porn stars, it was a simple case of the age old adage – don’t fuck your friends because it never ends well.