by Nicola Haken
I pulled my dick out of him immediately, knowing if I didn’t it would be too late. Crawling on my hands and knees up to the top of the mattress I ripped off the condom and threw it to the floor, hovering my swollen head over his mouth.
“Fuck yes,” I hissed, palming my cock and squeezing it as I rubbed myself. Mason cupped my balls, rolling them between his fingers at the same time he opened his mouth, ready to catch my orgasm. “I-I’m…coming,” I panted, gasping for air as the most delicious pleasure shot from my spine and straight into my balls. “Oh, shiiiiiit.” I came hard. Aiming straight for Mason’s open mouth I poured myself into him, massaging my cock until every last drop had leaked onto his lips.
Then I sagged, feeling exhausted yet wholly complete. Lying down on the bed next to him I leaned across and licked the droplets of his cum with my tongue, lapping them up into my mouth. God, he tasted so fucking good. Once I’d finished I wound my fingers around his neck and pulled his face to mine. I could taste myself as I kissed him, traces of my cum mingling with his own that still coated my tongue.
“Thank you,” I breathed against his lips.
“For what? Having sex with you?”
“For loving me. For believing in me. For staying with me.”
“You thank me every single day by doing exactly the same for me,” he replied, kissing the top of my head. “I think we’re gonna need another shower,” he added, winking at me.
“I’ll scrub your back if you scrub mine?”
“Deal.”
**********
The flight back to LA was long, and I slept most of the way. I’d had so many restless nights in prison and it was finally catching up with me. I also had a fever setting in, most likely due to the infection taking hold in my leg, and I’m sure that contributed to the exhaustion. But, on the bonus side if I was asleep I couldn’t think. Thinking usually led to my parents and what I did wrong to hurt them so much. In turn that made me feel insanely low which would then prompt the itch that usually ended up with me hurting myself. So, sleep was good.
Selfishly, I’d hoped to have a few hours to settle back home before being bombarded with Elle and her questions, but of course, Elle being Elle, she was already waiting for me in my apartment when I got home. Damn giving people spare keys, I thought to myself before quickly realising I wouldn’t want her any other way. She was here because she cared about me, and that was something that I needed to start accepting and appreciating.
What I intended to be a fairly brief conversation turned into an emotional talk that lasted for several hours – a talk where I ended up telling her everything. The rape, the self harm, and the situation as it stood with my parents. Want to know what she did? She listened. Glistening tears lingered in the corners of her eyes but not once did she let them fall. I knew the second she got home to Kip she would cry straight into his arms, but while she was with me she kept herself together. She was strong for me, and I both loved and truly admired her for that.
By the time Elle went home I was physically and mentally drained. My eyes were swollen from tears and jetlag, my chest ached and my head hurt like it’d been shot and then ran over by a giant motherfucking truck. Despite feeling robbed of energy however, I did as Mason asked and called the doctor for an appointment about my leg. So, that was tomorrow planned. I would go and show a complete stranger how fucked up I really was, get a prescription for some antibiotics and discuss the different types of therapy available to me. I was completely shitting myself but I also knew it had to happen. I’d found something special with Mason, something I didn’t even think existed not so long ago, and I felt like I owed it to him to be healthy – body and mind – so I could give him everything he deserved.
Love. Trust. Happiness.
Everything he gave me.
After taking a shower together, Mason and I climbed into bed. I didn’t hold much hope of sleeping, given that my time zones were completely messed up, but simply lying naked next the man who had saved me in every way possible, filled me with a sense of calm. I felt safe with him. Nothing or no one could hurt me here. Mason George was everything I never knew I wanted yet something I wouldn’t want to live without. I would never take him for granted as long as I lived.
“I’ve completely fucked up my career,” I murmured, finding the courage to look Mason in the eyes as I began to speak about the thing I was most ashamed of. “My leg. I cut my leg. I can’t ever film or model again.”
“That’s not true. We can find a way to explain them.”
“How?”
“I don’t know. An accident maybe? Animal attack?”
“Animal attack? That sounds like something Matt would suggest,” I joked, rolling my eyes.
“You could just tell the truth,” he suggested. The idea alone made me shudder. “You’re not alone, Ry. A lot of people are out there suffering with mental health disorders and they think they’re completely alone. Just like you did, remember? If you can find the courage to be open, you might help someone else too. Give them hope.”
“I’m no where near ready for that,” I answered, my voice flustered.
“Hell, I wouldn’t expect you to be after what you’ve been through. I don’t think you’ll be ready for a while, until you’ve had some therapy and come to terms with everything that’s happened to you in your life. But…we could talk to Ivan. We-”
“Ah, I don’t know about that,” I interrupted.
“He’s family, Ryder. He loves you. If you, or we if you want me there, explain everything to him, maybe you could work behind the camera until you feel like you’re ready to get back out there again.”
“I don’t know if I’ll ever be ready for that. Maybe ready is the wrong word. I don’t even know if I want that anymore.”
“What are you saying?”
“I’m saying…I had a lot of spare time on my hands while I was in prison. I did a lot of thinking, a lot of contemplating. I got into porn for all the wrong reasons. Hell I’ve had one hell of a fucking ride, and I still love and respect the industry and all, well most, of the people in it, but I’m just not sure I want to keep going with it. Not so long ago it was the main focus of my life. I lived for it, for the attention. I needed it. But now…I just don’t need it anymore. All I need is you.”
“That’s a big decision. One I think you should think about for a while.”
“I will, but I’m pretty sure I already know my answer.”
“What would you do instead? Go back to working for Elle?”
“It’s an option, but honestly I think you might be right in talking to Ivan about behind the scenes stuff. I love it there. It feels like home to me.”
“You know I need to keep working though, right? Mason pressed carefully, nervously. “Until I’ve finished paying for my college degree. I know Ivan and Sawyer are covering some of it but there’re still expenses I need to pay for. ”
“Of course I do, and you should know I’m okay with that.”
“I am planning to only do minimal scenes. You know it was never my first choice from the beginning and that’s nothing to do with how I feel about you. Photography is my passion, always has been, and I’m hoping that will start taking over more and more.”
“And that’s great,” I enthused. “And you know I have one hundred percent faith in you. Your job right now is a means to an end and I’m not going to ask you to give it up for me. I am a porn model, remember? I know the difference between using your body parts in front of the camera and using your heart at home. I know that they don’t get to curl up with you on the sofa watching shitty TV, or sleep with their head on your chest. I know that they don’t know your secrets, or that you twitch your nose like a rabbit when you sleep.”
“I do not do that!”
“Um, yeah you do. What I’m saying, Mason, is that you don’t love them and they don’t love you. It’s a job. A job I’ve worked long enough to know how it feels. Trust me, I don’t have a problem with it.”
“We’re
really doing this aren’t we? Building a future together.”
“Yes, we are. And I’ve never been more excited about anything in my life.”
“I love you,” Mason said, bearing his soul to me through his intense stare.
“I love you too. I genuinely never believed I’d say that to someone, and it feels so fucking good. I love you. You’ve saved me, completed me, and as Elle would say, you’ve tamed me.”
Pressing my chest up against his, I traced the edges of his lips with mine. I closed my eyes and thought about our future – one I never dreamed I’d have yet one I couldn’t wait to start living. Mason broke free from our kiss and tenderly tucked a rogue lock of hair behind my ear. He pressed his nose to mine and smiled.
“Whoever would’ve thought anyone would’ve been capable of taming Ryder Richardson?”
The End
You haven’t seen the last of Ryder, Mason and the rest of the gang. Stay tuned for Matt’s story coming early 2015. You’re in for a lot of fun and surprises…and so is he!
Acknowledgements
I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, I HATE this part! Not because I’m not grateful to every single person listed here, but because I’m a ditz and am always worried I’ll forget someone. If I do, and you’re reading this and thinking you should be here then I LOVE you, which also means you should know what a noob I am!
I need to start with Emma Clark. A woman who once upon a time discovered one of my books and tagged me in a Facebook post to let me know how much she enjoyed it, who then went on to become one of my very best friends in the world. Emma, I love you. You’ve helped me SO much with just about everything and I owe so much to you. We are so similar yet so different at the same time. You push me when I need pushing (even though I hate you for it at the time I love you for it really!), you encourage me, boost me up when I’m down, make me smile, make me laugh, let me rant at you, put up with my obsessions and impulsiveness…You are an awesome friend, an amazing blogger and you are also shit – don’t ever forget that ;-) I love you.
Hmm, who’s next? I’m going to say the adorable Mickey Taylor. Thank you for all the advice you’ve given me to make this story be as real as it can be. Thank you for answering my questions so openly and honestly and for being an all round fantabulous guy! <3 Oh and thank you for the boob signage…mustn’t for forget that ;-)
Asa Shaw that goes for you too! Thank you for answering my questions – you were a great help!
Now for my beta readers – Emma, Keeley, Karen, Paula, Denise, Janie, Lisa, Vanessa, Heather, Theresa, Sarah, Caroline, Tara and Danni. You guys are amaaaaaaazing! Without your keen eyes this book would be hitting people’s e-readers full of errors and making me look a noob! Thank you for taking the time to read Taming Ryder, and for all your notes and opinions. You’ve all helped make the story the best it can be and I love you for that. You’re also awesome ladies who I consider friends and I’d be totally lost without each and every one of you. So thank YOU!
A special shout out needs to go to Oor Janie too. You pimp me HARD. You make me fantabulous countdown teasers. You listen to me moaning and you inflate my ego by telling me how much you love my books ;-) You’re one amazing lady and it is my mission to meet you in person one day! Thank you for all the love and support. I love you, lady <3
Bloggers – I’ve said it before and I’ll keep on saying it. Us authors would be nowhere without your support and dedication and I honestly can’t thank you guys enough. I have had the pleasure of working and chatting with so many of you since I started this journey and you are part of what makes it so much fun. I’m chickening out with mentioning you by name this time because there are so many of you that I owe so much to and I just know my ditzy brain will forget someone important to me. But if we’ve ever chatted then I’m talking about YOU. If you’ve ever read and reviewed or pimped my books then I’m talking about YOU. I love YOU! ALL of YOU!
Now my attention turns to the members of my secret Facebook group – Nicola’s CockyBitches. I. LOVE. YOU. GUYS. Seriously I do! I don’t consider this group a street team. It’s not about me or my books it’s about friends, fun, hot guys and awesome people! I have so much fun with you all in there and you never fail to brighten my day with your endless supply of hot men and gay porn ;-) Keep up the good work peeps, because between you all you have made this group one of my favourite places in the world!
Holly Baker – blogger, turned beta reader, turned friend, turned editor! You’ve been with me since pretty much the beginning and I freakin’ love you! Thank you for all your amazing support over the last year. I love and appreciate everything you’ve done for me. The beta reading, the pimping, the bitchfests and even the threats of violence…You’re awesomesauce Holly! <3
Last but not least, my readers – old and new – THANK YOU from the bottom of my heart. A few of you have become true, lifelong friends and it is the BEST feeling knowing one of my books has led to you being stuck with me forever ;-) This being an author shizzle wouldn’t be possible with you. I thank you for every book you’ve read, every review, every rating, every kind word, every everything! Whenever I hear back from one of my readers it never fails to surprise me and put a huge grin on my face (unless they’re slating me of course, then I just think ‘fuck off, you nob’). Sometimes I genuinely have to take a moment to compose myself. It’s like, whooooa… someone has actually read my book. It’s an amazing feeling and one I will never get used to, nor tire of. So thank you, thank you, thank you!
Actually ignore me, because that wasn’t the last one! I’d like to thank the people who, together, brought my beautiful cover to life. Edwin Pabon, Reese Dante and Jake Bass. Each one of you played a part in the cover - a stunning cover that I am so very proud of and it’s been a pleasure to work with you. Thank you!
Right, that’s your lot. You may now resume whatever it was you were doing (providing I’ve not bored you to sleep) :-)
About the Author
Okay, as usual let’s get the boring stuff out of the way first. I live in Rochdale, UK, with my husband and four little shi- um, I mean angels. We have two pretty mean looking, but adorable rescue dogs – Gio and Pippa, and I kind of want a cat but I’m pretty sure the dogs would eat it.
Now for the things that make me me! You guys seemed to like my list last time, rather than me rambling on for a few paragraphs, so here we go again. A lot of it’s the same, but I have some new ones since we were last here!
I am a tattoo-a-holic.
I am a Pepsi Max-a-holic.
I am a CockyBoys-a-holic.
I am a Tayte Hanson-a-holic.
I am a potato-a-holic – mashed, chipped, baked, roasted, boiled…I NEED them in my life.
I like saying a-holic.
I’m pretty sure I have spent more weekends hanging out with porn stars than not this last few months!
I had my tongue pierced yeeeears ago and then took it out when I ‘grew up’. However now I’ve realised I’m not grown up and want it done again (but don’t tell my mum ;-) )
I don’t like even numbers.
I can’t eat with metal spoons. Not for a medical reason, just because I’m weird.
I have a filthy mind and an even filthier mouth (make of that what you will )
I want a penis of my very own.
I am a Twihard and PROUD.
I am a Gleek and PROUD.
I love One Direction and I am not so proud.
Music makes me happy.
I swear way too fucking much
My favourite colour is purple.
Haken is my maiden name. My married name is Wall, and let’s face it, that’s a shit name.
For a fat chick, I’m incredibly flexible ;-)
I like making lists.
I’m crazy awesome!
So there you go. That’s me
If you want to keep up with my crazy world, you can do that by following me here:
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Other titles by Nicola Haken
M/M Romance
Being Sawyer Knight
New Adult/Contemporary
Saving Amy
Missing Pieces
Take My Hand
Hold On Tight (Take My Hand #2)
Lean On Me (Take My Hand #3)
Never Let Go (Take My Hand #4)