“Melanie?”
“Hey, Dad. Be out in a minute.”
She smiled at me, giving me one last chaste kiss before grabbing my hand and pulling me down the hall.
“Hey, Dad.” Melanie squirmed, averting her gaze to her feet as she stood in the middle of her father’s small kitchen. I’m sure Steve had to know something was up just by the look on her face, but he was the best at being oblivious to everything around him. I didn’t know if he really didn’t notice or if he put a shield around himself so he didn’t have to deal with anything.
“Hey, Mel.” He looked her way as he reached into the fridge to grab a beer, snapping it open before glancing at me and looking away. He’d always hated me, barely acknowledging my presence anytime I was in his house. I tried not to let it bother me, but Melanie was going to be part of my life forever, and I hated that Steve and I couldn’t be on better terms. Our current situation definitely wasn’t going to help the relationship between us.
“Hey, Steve.” The least I could do was try.
He grunted at me and turned his attention back to Melanie.
“Um, Dad, we were just headed over to Daniel’s, okay?” She looked uncomfortable, fidgeting with the hem of her shirt. I hated that she was feeling ashamed of herself when she had no reason to.
“Not too late.” With that statement, he looked in my direction. It was my responsibility to have her home “at a decent hour.” I learned a long time ago that meant ten o’clock. Of course, that never stopped me from sneaking in the back door later after Steve had gone to bed.
“Okay, bye, Dad.” She waved behind her as I took her hand.
I helped her into the car and went around to my side, feeling relieved to be away from Steve’s scrutiny.
I studied her face. “How are you doing?” I didn’t want her freaking out every time she was around her dad. She didn’t need to be putting that kind of pressure on herself and the baby.
“Fine, I guess. That was just...uncomfortable?” It came out like a question. She sighed. “I guess I just was worried that Dad could see right through me, like I had ‘I’m pregnant’ written across my forehead or something.”
“Let’s just not prolong this, okay? You don’t need to be feeling that much pressure every time you talk to him.” I reached over and squeezed her hand to encourage her. She always tip-toed around her dad, worried that everything and anything would cause him more stress.
“He has a right to know, and yeah, he’s going to be pissed.” I softened my voice, hoping to soothe her. I knew Steve could be harsh, and Melanie didn’t want to face that any more than she wanted to cause him added worry. “But we’ll get through it. He loves you, and I think if we give him some time to deal with the shock, he’ll be okay.”
At least I hoped that’s the way he’d react, but I didn’t want my own fears troubling Melanie more. I mean, I was eighteen and, well, Melanie was not. Steve could have my ass if he wanted to.
There were so many things we needed to talk about, and I could see those questions and fears swirling behind her eyes. I couldn’t even think straight when she looked at me like that. All the rest of this stuff didn’t matter; we had each other, and everything was going to work out. It had to.
Closing the distance between us, I kissed her gently.
“I love you, baby,” I whispered against her lips.
She giggled. “I think you’re going to have to stop calling me that, because I’m not quite sure who you’re talking to.” She reached down and rubbed her belly as a sweet smile came to her lips.
I chuckled, reaching my hand down to cover hers. “Yes, I love you too, baby.” It was true. Sure, I’d only known about “her” for the last two hours, but I did. How could I not be in love with something that Melanie and I had created?
My body trembled as all the regrets of my life washed through me, my heart feeling as if it were on the verge of failing. My soul cried out for her. It had never stopped its search for her in nine years, and I could still feel her calling out for me.
It was all I had left of her, this connection that could never be broken no matter how much time and space passed between us.
“Melanie, I don’t want to do this without you. It was only supposed to be you.” I dug my fingers into the carpet, praying I could feel her for just one second more. When my body had no more to give, I succumbed to the darkness that blurred the images in my mind.
Chapter Seven
My head spun as I slowly drifted toward consciousness. My body was stiff, muscles aching. My eyes fluttered, flashes of floor and eyelashes the only things visible as I tried to orient myself to my surroundings. Rays of sunlight filtered in low through the windows, an indication that the sun was just setting. My mind gradually allowed my body to come back to life.
I brought myself to my hands and knees, trying to gain enough strength to stand. My phone vibrated on the floor beside me, surely the trigger for my arousal.
I looked to the clock on the wall—five-thirty.
“Shit.” I raked my hands over my face to rub the drowsiness away. I had to get moving or I would be late. Reaching for my phone, I ran my finger over the faceplate to read the message.
Vanessa’s address.
Acid burned in my stomach. I couldn’t believe I’d gotten myself into this mess. How could I have been so stupid?
I dragged myself to the shower and turned the water to as hot as I could tolerate, easing my body into the stream. It washed over me, somewhat easing the tension I felt. I breathed in the steam to try to clear my thoughts.
What was I going to do? I was so lost. Having a child had been so important to me, but that dream had died when she did.
First off, I needed to find out if this was even my baby. I mean, now after five months she tells me I’m going to be a father? I did not trust her. I never had, and I wasn’t going to start now. But if the child was mine, what then?
Marry Vanessa?
Not a chance in hell.
The thought of living with that bitch put every fiber of my being on defense. There was no way I could do it. Yeah, it might be the right thing to do, but I was just not that noble—or stupid. I would have a responsibility to the child, but not to Vanessa.
After my shower, I put on the suit I’d picked up from the cleaners a couple of days before. I ran my hands through my wet hair and called it good.
I grabbed all the information I needed and stuffed the papers into my bag, praying I was organized enough to pull this off after ignoring the work I had planned to do this afternoon.
Locking my apartment, I headed down to the parking garage to my car and typed Vanessa’s address into the navigation system. It was six-twenty—plenty of time to pick her up and still get to Cushing Grill on time.
I sat for a moment when I pulled up to the curb in front of her house. She lived in a little duplex in a nice area, nothing upscale, but it had a family feel. At least she’d have a decent place for the child to live.
I rushed up the sidewalk and rang the bell, nervously glancing around me and trying not to focus on our encounter.
Vanessa answered the door seconds after I rang. I was taken aback as she stepped out. I could see the obvious bump showing through her dress. In all the shock of the day, it had never registered just how far along she was. In four months, she was having this baby.
Nerves prickled across the back of my neck, and it was not a pleasant feeling.
“Hello, Daniel.” She brushed my arm with her hand and started walking toward the car.
She let herself in, and I went around to the driver’s side and slid into my seat, not hesitating to start my car and pull away. My hands shook against the wheel. I stared straight ahead while I struggled to find the right thing to say.
“Five months?” They were the only words I could find. I didn’t believe she couldn’t have found a way to tell me sooner. Suspicion boiled right below the surface.
From the corner of my eye, I could see her playing with the z
ipper of the purse on her lap, shaking her head.
Finally, she answered, “I just didn’t know what to do. I called and you never called back. I got scared. I wanted to barge into your office and demand to see you, but I thought you’d just run. I figured if I kept calling, eventually you’d give in and call me back...just like you did.” With the last statement, she looked my way, waiting for my response.
“I don’t even know what to say to you, Vanessa. I met you one time five months ago, and now we’re having a baby in four months?” The anger in my voice was obvious. “I just can’t wrap my head around this right now. I don’t have any clue what to do.” I knew I was being harsh, but it was true. I had no idea how to handle this.
“It’s a boy, you know,” she said quietly into her lap.
I tried to guard myself from the memories her news summoned, but it was no use. They were all I could see.
January 2000
Melanie held onto my hand. I could feel her excitement and anxiety, as I’m sure she could feel mine. My stomach was in knots, my head sore from the number of times I had run my hands through my hair. I smiled down at her and caressed her cheek, looking into her green eyes that overflowed with emotion.
“Okay, Melanie, this is going to be a little cold.” Dad squirted some clear gel onto Melanie’s abdomen and held up the probe. “This is how we’re going to take a look at this little one.” He smiled at us, his joy evident. Mom placed both of her hands on my shoulders as she stood behind me.
Melanie was twenty weeks pregnant, and it was time for her first ultrasound. Dad had arranged to do it himself.
I had been so eager to see the baby, but I was still anxious. What if there was something wrong? The chances of that were low, but it didn’t stop me from worrying.
Dad lowered the probe onto Melanie’s stomach, and the monitor jumped around as he moved it to find the right spot. “There you are.”
The fuzzy image on the screen cleared, and I saw my child. The moment took my breath away. Melanie squeezed my hand harder, and I turned to her. Tears ran down her face.
Melanie whispered to me, “Our baby.”
I leaned over and kissed her, murmuring back the same, “Our baby.”
Dad began to take measurements and talk about each body part. I was surprised at how big the head was, but he said it was supposed to be at this stage. We counted ten fingers and ten toes, and the heart was beating exactly as it should.
Relief swept over me as Dad assured us that everything was okay. He confirmed the due date as June seventh. We were halfway there.
“So did you two want to know the sex of your baby?” Dad grinned at us, knowing full well how much we did.
“Yes,” Melanie and I said in unison.
He smiled a soft smile. “Baby girl.”
We were having a baby girl. I looked at Melanie who mouthed to me, “I knew.”
I took Melanie’s face in my hands and kissed her. “Of course you knew,” I murmured against her lips.
When Melanie and Mom left for the restroom, I pulled my dad aside. “Hey, Dad?”
He drew me into a hug, patting me on the back. “I can’t believe you’re making me a grandpa.” He leaned away, his expression bittersweet. As disappointed as they’d been, they’d never failed to support us. Melanie still hadn’t told her parents, and Mom had pretty much taken on the role of mother in her life.
“You know we couldn’t have done this without you and Mom. I hope you know how much that means to me.”
His brow wrinkled as he minutely shook his head. “You know we’d do anything for you, Daniel.”
“That’s actually what I need to talk to you about.” I hated asking for more when they’d already done so much, but I’d thought this through and knew it was the best plan. “I need access to my money.”
I had a trust fund from my grandparents that my parents had control of until I turned twenty-one. My intention had been to save it for my children for when they were older, but my child needed it now.
He nodded. “I was wondering when you were going to ask.”
***
March 2000
It took two months of preparation. Mom had snuck up during the week to make everything perfect, and now that it was complete, I couldn’t wait to show Melanie.
I smiled to myself as I dialed her number.
She picked up on the first ring. “Hey,” she breathed into the phone. “I miss you.”
“I know, Mel. I miss you so much.” It was getting harder and harder to leave her each week.
“You’re coming tomorrow, right?” Sadness weighed down her words.
“Well, that’s what I wanted to talk to you about. Do you think you could tell your Dad you’re staying with Stacy this weekend? I want you to come up here.”
“Daniel, I don’t think my car will make it.” I heard her disappointment over the phone.
“Don’t worry about that. I’ll come get you. We’ll just leave your car at my parents and drive back together. Do you think you could get out of school early?”
“Yeah. That’ll be perfect!” she squealed into the phone. “I can’t wait. We haven’t had a weekend to ourselves since Christmas break. I really need to get away.”
“So, I take it you’re anxious to see me?” I teased her, knowing she was always as excited to see me as I was to see her.
“No, not at all,” she laughed into the phone, her sarcasm evident.
I told her I loved her and hung up, counting the hours until I could leave.
I woke up early. I planned to be at my parents by ten so I could spend an hour with them before Melanie and I left.
When I arrived, I found Mom standing on the porch waiting for me.
“Hey, Mom!” I called out to her as I got out of the car.
“She’s going to love it, Daniel.” She beamed at me. She had put a lot of effort into this whole thing, and she was almost as eager for Melanie’s reaction as I was.
“You think she will?” I wanted her to love everything and was sure she would, but I also didn’t want her to be disappointed because she hadn’t been a part of it.
“Of course she will, sweetheart. Don’t worry, you’ll see.” That was all I needed to hear.
My parents and I spent the hour having a late breakfast.
“That was great, Mom” I smiled at her.
My baby girl was going to have the best grandparents. Sure, they were going to spoil her like crazy, but they’d also give her the same kind of selfless love they’d given me my entire life.
I jumped up when I heard Melanie’s old car coming up the road. I flashed an excited smile at my parents before darting out the door. My heart burned with desire to hold her. The magnetism we shared was always there but grew stronger the nearer we were. I felt her spirit surge as she came into sight.
She pulled up behind where I’d parked, her face filled with disbelief as she looked between me and the car.
She got out giggling. “You didn’t.”
I descended the three steps to stand in front of her. “Do you like it?”
“Daniel, seriously, you bought a new car?”
“Did you think I was going to let my baby girl ride in that old thing?” I laughed as I pulled Melanie into my arms, feeling the peace that her touch brought.
Melanie’s car was so old. It broke down constantly, so I bought a new car for our family. The four-door sedan was white and nothing fancy, but it was reliable and safe.
She hugged me. “Thank you for taking care of us.”
I stood with her in my arms, swaying as I cherished her in our embrace. I grinned as I felt her stomach press against me, our baby now prominent between us. I never wanted to let her go. She was my home.
“Do you have any idea how much I love you?”
She grasped my hand from her side and brought it to her face, cupping her cheek with my hand. My whole arm burned with the fire that she set in me. “I feel it, Daniel, every time you touch me.” She pressed her chee
k further into my hand to demonstrate the power that held the two of us together, the energy flowing soundly between us.
A low “ahem” from behind caused me to pull away.
“We wanted to say hi to Melanie before you two took off for the weekend.” Dad brought Melanie into a hug and kissed her on the temple. “How are my girls?”
Melanie grinned. “We’re great, Patrick.” She rubbed her belly. “Growing every day.”
We loaded her bag into the trunk and said our goodbyes to Mom and Dad, promising we’d be back early enough on Sunday to spend some time with them.
The ride back to Boulder went quickly. We talked the whole way about our little girl, the plans we’d made, and how anxious we were for them to all come to pass.
A couple of months ago, we’d decided to get married as soon as Melanie turned eighteen, which was next month. Mom and Erin had planned a small wedding in our backyard, just family and a few friends. Melanie had never dreamed of the big wedding and neither had I.
Her parents still didn’t know. I’d been pushing her for months to tell them. She was just over six-months pregnant and there would be no hiding this much longer. Rumors had already started, and Steve was either going to have to find out from us soon, or he was going to hear it from someone else. As it was, the man was blind if he hadn’t noticed that Melanie was showing.
I didn’t bring it up on the ride home; I just wanted us to be at peace.
Once the conversation died down, we enjoyed each other in silence as we traveled down the road. Melanie rested her head against the seat, her hand loosely entwined with mine.
Every time I glanced at her, my chest burned with the love I felt for her.
Trees became sparse as we neared town, the forest soon behind us. Buildings began to line the freeway, and before we knew it, we were in the city.
“Daniel, you just missed your turn.” Melanie looked behind us as we passed the University of Colorado sign.
“We’re not going to the apartment. I have a surprise for you.” I made little circles on the back of her hand with my thumb as I took the second exit, making a left and heading north.
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