Pulled

by A. L. Jackson

  “Whiskey, no ice.” I was in dire need of a drink.

  Vanessa began to make comments about the menu, trying to draw me into conversation, but her words didn’t register. I couldn’t think straight. My head started to spin, my skin prickling all over. I felt the hairs on the back of my neck rise up and stand on end.

  I tried to shake it off.

  Apparently, I had thought too much about Melanie today because my body was reacting as if she were near.

  Rubbing the back of my neck, I tried to brush off the feeling but couldn’t stop the panic from setting in when I realized I was finally going to lose it. My hands started to tingle with the palpable energy that connected Melanie to me, what made us one, and an intense longing filling my chest.

  I had to pull myself together.

  I stood to take a few minutes to clear my head when a strangled sob grounded me to the floor. My head jerked up, my eyes desperate to find what I so longed to see.

  My knees went weak, and I grasped the table for support when my eyes met with the emerald that owned my soul.

  Chapter Eight

  The ride to the restaurant was tense.

  My outright refusal had set Nicholas on edge and I didn’t think he knew how to deal with it.

  Nicholas pulled up to the restaurant valet. Katie and Shane waited on the sidewalk as the attendant helped me from the car.

  “Hey, Mel.” Shane’s smile was infectious. I could never resist it, my own spreading across my face as he brought me into a huge hug and gave me a quick peck on the cheek. If I hadn’t known him, I might have been a little leery of him, given that he resembled a younger version of my dad. He was just as tall and shaved his head, though his eyes were green where Dad’s were brown. He was muscular from years of hard construction work and so tanned it nearly washed out the sleeves of tattoos covering his arms.

  “Hey, Shane. Are you ready for this?” I patted his back as I hugged him, giving him encouragement for the evening.

  “Yep, I have a good feeling about it.” This would change everything for them. It was ironic that the one thing Nicholas thought was going to bring him power and recognition would actually bring him to his knees if everything went as planned.

  Katie and I exchanged knowing smiles as we stepped in for a quick hug.

  “Let’s go take care of some business.” Nicholas took charge, leading us inside. He held the door as Shane and Katie entered in front of us, placing his hand on the small of my back as I followed.

  Once inside, I felt that pull, the energy that bound my soul to Daniel’s, and I smiled as I brought my hand to the pendant. I fingered it, knowing it had somehow been brought back into my life to give me comfort.

  As the hostess led us deeper into the restaurant, the pull grew, expanded my chest. Goose bumps popped up all over my arms as my skin began to tingle.

  I ran my hands up each arm trying to chase away the feeling, hugging myself across my middle. Something was wrong. I’d never felt Daniel like this unless he was actually nearby. Maybe finding the pendant had brought too many memories to the surface and my mind had lost touch with reality.

  With each step, the feeling grew, almost suffocating.

  “Get it together, Melanie,” I scolded myself, trying to snap myself out of it.

  As I rounded the corner, my eyes landed on the head of hair that could only belong to one man. A wounded cry escaped my throat.

  Energy surged, and I could almost see it connect with him. His head snapped up and my eyes locked with his soul.

  I couldn’t look away. Every emotion I’d had in the last nine years flowed between us—the pain, the longing, the desire, the lost love, each one crashing and washing over us in waves.

  My fingers dug into Katie’s shoulder as I willed myself not to lose it in the middle of the restaurant. I couldn’t tell if I wanted to dive over the table and devour him or if I wanted to scream and pound his chest, releasing all the anger and hurt that he’d caused me in the last nine years.

  I don’t know how long we stared at each other before Nicholas finally tugged on my elbow. Anger burned on his face—a warning.

  Tilting her head, Katie studied me with concern. That concern grew when she watched me pry my trembling fingers from her shoulder. Shane looked between Daniel and me, seemingly clueless of its source, but not ignorant to my distress.

  Taking control of the situation, Nicholas extended his hand across the table to Daniel who had risen as we approached. “You must be Daniel. It’s nice to finally meet you. I’m Nicholas Borelli.” Daniel barely acknowledged him as he halfheartedly shook Nicholas’s hand, never taking his eyes off of me for more than a second.

  Nicholas frowned, shrouded in annoyance at Daniel’s obvious dismissal of him. Still, he continued. “This is Shane Preston and his wife, Katie.” Nicholas gestured to them, and Daniel tore his eyes from me. “Nice to meet you both,” Daniel said and nodded, unease evident in his every move.

  “And this is my beautiful wife, Melanie.” Nicholas presented me like the trophy I was.

  Daniel’s eyes came back to mine, sadness pouring from them as he reached across to take my visibly trembling hand. A whimper escaped through my lips as my fingertips grazed his before he took my hand. Too long—it had been too long since I’d touched him. A flash of energy burned up my arm, my wounded heart pounding with its first true beats in nine years. Relief at the contact swept over my body, making my head spin and desire throb in my belly as his warmth sped through my veins.

  Neither of us seemed to be able to let go.

  “Hello, Melanie.” The words were soft but laden with need, each tumbling from his lips like a song. My cheeks burned red, the heat rising up my body and settling on my face.

  I could only nod and swallow.

  A slight “ahem” from beside him caused him to reluctantly drop my hand. My arm felt heavy with loss. I glanced to the left at the extremely beautiful woman sitting in the chair beside him. Bile rose in my throat at the sight of her. She wasn’t even the same girl who’d taken my place.

  Confusion clouded my head. My knees went weak as a keening shiver rolled down my spine, and I grabbed the back of the chair to steady myself, trying to remain coherent. I’d never passed out before, but I was sure I was only seconds away.

  My legs wobbled as Nicholas pulled my chair out for me. For once, I was thankful for the false chivalry as I stumbled into my chair. Taking the chair to my right, Nicholas situated himself directly between Daniel and me.

  To my left, Katie kept glancing my way. She placed a worried hand on my thigh to get my attention. “What’s going on?” she mouthed.

  Through a grimace, I shook my head. I’d tell her later. She frowned, but turned away.

  I kept my head down while the waiter took our drink orders, but the pull wouldn’t allow it for long. My eyes traveled up until they rested on Daniel’s face.

  God, I missed him.

  So many emotions raged inside me. I didn’t know how I was going to make it through dinner. Either I needed to run to Daniel or run from him, but I could do neither, so I sat and stared at the one person my heart cried out for every day.

  I tried to pay attention to what was going on around me as Nicholas and Shane began to present their proposal to Daniel.

  “So Daniel, I’m sure you’ll find...” Nicholas’s voice was a distant sound in my head, everything other than Daniel a haze around me. I still had never seen a more beautiful man, but he was so different from the carefree boy I once knew. His hair was in utter disarray, the color darkened with age, but still with natural light blond streaks. I longed to run my fingers through it the way I used to. His body was still firm, muscles toned and smooth, though now maybe even thinner than he had been before.

  But it was his eyes that broke my heart all over again.

  No longer did they glimmer with the joy that used to radiate from them. Instead, the intensity was gone, the life sucked from them. There had been a faint flicker of it when our eyes
had first met, but it’d passed in almost the same instant.

  His cheeks were sunken and there were dark bags under his eyes.

  The sadness surrounding his presence was sickening, like a disease had taken over his body and he had given up his will to live.

  Never had I wanted to comfort anyone more. I wanted to call his name, to touch his face, to taste his lips. I wanted to assure him that my love for him was unending. I wanted to promise we could heal together. I wanted to forgive him, to forget about the past, to move on. There was one simple fact that held me back.

  He didn’t want me anymore.

  But seeing him now—my spirit couldn’t believe that. I could feel he loved me. But sometimes love just wasn’t enough. He needed more than I could give.

  I looked at the woman beside him and jealousy surged through my whole being.

  Had he pledged his life to her, to love her forever? Did he go to bed with her every night and pull her body against his, holding her the way he used to hold me? Did they have children waiting at home?

  If he had all these things, why was he so broken? He had the same look on his face that I had every day when I looked in the mirror. He was nothing more than a shell of a person.

  Daniel seemed to be struggling to listen to what Nicholas was saying. His gaze would travel to me and then snap back to Nicholas as if he was in a constant war with himself. I could almost feel his body drifting in my direction even though it stayed in place.

  Nicholas’s attention darted between Daniel and me, suspicion thick on his brow. While he had no idea who Daniel was, he was no fool, just as aware of the tension in the room as any one of us.

  “So, Daniel...” Nicholas handed him another sheet of paper. “If you take a look at this, you’ll see that we have the building permit outlined here. We should be able to get it through the city in four to six weeks.” Nicholas pointed something out on the paper, but Daniel did little more than glance at it before his eyes came back to me.

  His possessive nature getting the best of him, Nicholas reached his hand out to stroke my face. I cringed away. He ran his hand down to rest on the side of my neck, his fingers digging into my skin. He leaned in near my face as if he were going to kiss me beneath the ear. Instead, he whispered, “Bitch,” low enough that only I could hear.

  Daniel’s hands tightened into fists upon the table. His face burned, and his eyes, dead only moments ago, flamed with hate.

  Rarely had I seen that expression on his face, but I knew it—Daniel was absolutely dripping with rage. He looked as if he were going to rip Nicholas’s arm off. I could see him restraining himself in his seat, holding himself back, his fury threatening to explode.

  I just didn’t understand it. He didn’t want me. How could he sit there and be angry that I was with somebody else when he had let me go? I wanted to scream at him, to beg him for an answer. Why? Why did he do this to me? Love and hate warred within me, tearing my soul apart.

  Daniel’s date sat silent, fidgeting with her napkin, leaning in further and further toward him. He ignored her. She sighed every few seconds, seeking his attention, but it seemed as if he didn’t even know she was there.

  Nicholas had grown frustrated with the situation, his voice commanding attention as he tried to force his presentation on Daniel. There was an edge to his voice that no smart businessman would ever direct toward a potential client, but I knew Nicholas. He was jealous that I was receiving what he thought he deserved. I was supposed to be there to win him more attention, not to take it from him.

  Poor Shane seemed to have no clue what was going on, only that things were spiraling out of control. He jumped in and tried to salvage the evening. I felt awful that my presence had ruined this for him. I looked at him, offering a weak smile of apology when he cut in and began speaking for Nicholas.

  Katie stared at Daniel as he stared at me. Clearly, she was trying to sort everything out. It was apparent in the squint of her eyes and the furrow of her brow.

  Shane seemed to have drawn Daniel in. I could still feel the tension radiating from him, but he was at least having a serious conversation with Shane. Daniel still had never so much as glanced at Vanessa, who sipped her water, appearing bored or maybe even annoyed.

  Shane made quick progress, putting all of Daniel’s concerns to rest when he offered a solution for each one. From his seat, Nicholas seethed at Shane, jealous, once again, that his younger partner had the charisma he lacked.

  Relief washed over the table when dinner arrived. They put talk of business on hold for the moment as our server placed our food in front of us.

  Katie gave me a cautious glance as she started to speak. “So, Daniel, you just recently moved here to Chicago? Where did you come from?” Her head tilted to the side, waiting for his answer, her eyes sliding to mine for the briefest moment before they went back to Daniel’s.

  He cleared his throat, frowning. “Uh, I’m from Colorado.” He turned his attention back to his plate, obviously trying to avoid Katie’s questions. I tried to warn her by clenching her thigh to stop but knew she’d continue until she got her answers. I was sure she’d already figured out who Daniel was.

  “Mmm.” She took a small bite of her baked potato as she nodded and then turned her attention to Vanessa. “So how do you know Daniel?” She played it off as small talk, but it was anything but.

  Vanessa’s face brightened, and she reached for Daniel’s hand and squeezed it. “Daniel and I are having a baby!”

  I choked on my steak. Tears filled my eyes as another part of my heart was ripped away. I knew that was the reason he didn’t want me, but it was devastating to have it paraded in front of my face. I covered the sob in my throat with a cough. Nicholas glared at me—another warning to get myself under control.

  Daniel’s eyes flew to me, pain etched deep in the lines of his face, and he jerked his hand from Vanessa. I didn’t understand what was happening between the two of them. He should be thrilled. All he’d ever wanted was to be a father and now he was going to get it. Part of me wanted to be angry that he had that without me, but deep inside, all I wanted was for him to be happy even if it killed me to watch it happen.

  Katie was relentless. “Oh, I guess congratulations are in order then?” It was almost a question as she looked at Daniel. He turned his head to the opposite wall, raking his hands through his hair the way he always had done when he was worried or upset.

  When he said nothing, she pressed on. “So, is this your first child?” It was clear she wanted Daniel to answer, but Vanessa spoke first. “Yes, it’s a boy. We’re so excited.”

  I felt as if a knife had been thrust into my stomach, the air knocked from me as I clutched my torso and squeezed my eyes shut.

  I couldn’t listen.

  Chapter Nine

  I still couldn’t believe Melanie was here.

  It was all I could do to keep myself from jumping over the table to get to her, to fall to my knees, to plead for forgiveness, to beg her to take me back. In her brief touch, I’d found everything I’d missed for the last nine years, and I knew then what my heart had known the whole time—she was mine. Even with her husband sitting between us, I knew she was mine.

  I’d never told anyone about Eva. It was my loss and I couldn’t bear to have a stranger pity me when it was impossible for them to even begin to understand the way her death had destroyed me. But I knew it’d destroyed Melanie too, and there was no way I’d sit across from her and not acknowledge the child we’d created. Swallowing, I cleared my throat and tried to gain enough courage to verbalize it in front of these strangers. “I had a baby girl. But she passed away.”

  March 2000

  What was happening?

  Everything was a blur. Voices murmured too low for me to hear or the pain drowned them out, I wasn’t sure which. I hurt everywhere and I felt as if I was suffocating. I gasped against the burn in my lungs as I fought to take in a breath. Suddenly everything shifted as my eyesight came into focus, as my surround
ings became clear.

  “Melanie!” I struggled to sit up, but I was strapped onto a stretcher. “Please, I have to get to her. Please!” My voice cracked with the sob that erupted from my chest as I begged them to free me. I had to find her.

  “Sir, you need to calm down. We’re trying to help you.” A paramedic leaned over me, shining a light in my eyes.

  “I have to help her. Where is she? Please.” My eyes darted around. Dense trees lining the road rushed past the windows of the speeding ambulance. I caught sight of my blood-soaked shirt.

  Oh my God.

  I thrashed against the restraints as fear gutted me. A scream rushed up my throat, but no sound came.

  “Sir, you need to relax. She’s already on her way to the hospital in Denver.”

  A needle was jabbed in my arm and warmth spread through my veins, but it wasn’t the warmth I desired. A fog trapped me in my mind, my heart screaming, but the rest of my body went numb as darkness raced in.

  ***

  “Daniel.” The voice was soft and drew me in. “Sweetheart.” Tender fingers ran through my hair, caressing me, giving me strength.

  “Mom?” I blinked.

  She leaned over me, one hand holding mine while the other stroked my head. Her eyes filled with tears.

  I tried to sit up, but the pain tearing through my chest forced me back down.

  “Just relax.” She tried to soothe me, but her voice trembled and it had the opposite effect.

  “Melanie?” I rasped. Sensing movement, I turned to find my dad standing on the other side. He cleared his throat, his face tormented. His mouth opened and closed, as if he couldn’t find it in himself to speak the words. Dread twisted itself deep inside me, in a place I didn’t know, and I braced myself for the news that would shatter my life.

  “She’s going to be okay, Daniel.” He placed his hand on my shoulder, looking me in the eyes.

  Relief flooded me, and I breathed in a painful breath, tears breaking free and running down my face.