Pulled

by A. L. Jackson

  Chapter Seventeen

  He’d always wanted me. Somewhere deep within me, I’d always known. Always. He’d lived the last nine years exactly as I had—alone—each of us in our own way. The energy built as we both stood staring, unable to move as our minds rejected the lies we’d once believed. It was all so clear. Part of me felt foolish, so naive to have fallen for another’s envy. But really, it’d had much less to do with Stephanie than with the insecurity I’d allowed to control my life. But now was not the time for regret.

  “Daniel,” I called to him softly and without hesitation. I raised my hand, my fingertips hovering in the air as I beckoned him to me.

  Relief washed over his face, and he closed the space between us. Our fingertips met, our spirits rejoicing in the contact.

  My heart stuttered as his eyes traveled from our fingers to my face. His mouth turned up in the saddest, sweetest smile I’d ever seen. “I missed you,” he whispered.

  I nodded, never agreeing with a statement more. Tears continued down my cheeks as I returned my own small, sad smile.

  Wiping my tears away, his smile grew, true joy finally shining in his eyes, but his words were still filled with grief. “I missed this face.” He dropped my fingers to hold my face in his hands. His touch was soothing, filled with a love that stirred every nerve in my body. “And this mouth.” His thumb ran over my bottom lip before his mouth captured mine in a slow, adoring kiss.

  I clung to him for support, my legs weak as I stared into his eyes. His love was so intense, yet his soul held so much sorrow. I wondered if his hurt went so deep that he could never heal.

  “And these eyes,” he choked out the last as he gently brushed his lips across each of my eyelids. He pulled back, his hands gripping my shoulders. “I missed nine years.” With trembling hands, he held me, his anguish apparent, and I could hold back no longer.

  Taking his face in my hands, I pulled his mouth down to mine, the desperation in my touch demanding that he never let me go.

  His reaction was instant.

  One hand found my lower back while the other dove into my hair, pulling me even closer. His lips were fervent, but gentle and sweet—always sweet. My body caught fire, desire coursing through me as I fully gave myself over to him. This time I wouldn’t hold back.

  “Melanie,” he murmured as his mouth overtook mine. Surging warmth spread over my body as his hand traveled down my spine to join the other at the small of my back.

  I pulled back, gasping for air.

  It was hard to grasp that less than an hour ago, I’d roamed this house, sinking deeper and deeper into a depression I was sure I would never recover from. The incident in Daniel’s office had undone me—in a devastating way—sending the failing grip I had on my heart spiraling out of control.

  But now.

  Now he was mine.

  Scorching eyes searched mine, filled with need. He must have found his answer in the flush of my face, because his hands abruptly moved to my thighs, lifting. Instinctively, I wrapped my legs around his waist.

  I whimpered as he pressed into me. I longed to feel all of him. He crashed his lips back to mine and began to walk, whispering against my lips, “Where?”

  I nodded toward the guest room. “There.”

  His eyes darted behind me, and he carried me to the room, never breaking our kiss. Kicking the door shut behind us, he carried me across the floor to the end of the bed. The sheets were still twisted and tangled from my night of sleep.

  Carefully, he laid me down, taking a step back to stare down at me with intense eyes. I’d never felt more loved, more cherished. Wetting his lips, he swallowed hard, his words thick in his throat. “I love you, Melanie.”

  “I love you...more than anything.”

  He stood above me, his body visibly trembling. “This is forever.”

  Propped on my elbows, I looked up at the beautiful man standing before me, his statement simple as he promised we’d never be apart again.

  I whispered back, “Forever.”

  I would take nothing less.

  The room was dim, the windows covered, the sun a faint glow through the slats of the shutters. His face softened and he slowly crawled up the mattress to me, kneeling between my legs. His hands rested on either side of my head, his body hovering above. Dipping down, he lightly grazed his lips over mine.

  “How did I ever stay away from you?” Gentle fingertips caressed my cheeks, my lips, ran over my chin and down my neck. His palm came to rest on my chest, his fingers splayed out over my heart. It thrummed in devotion against his hand.

  “I heard this calling out for me every day.” His breath whispered across my face, his words so sad, filled with so much regret. “Did you hear mine?”

  “Yes,” I breathed out as I began to tremble beneath him. His eyes swallowed me, drawing me deeper into his soul, his beautiful soul that held so much sorrow and so much loss.

  I covered his hand with my own. “It was the only thing I had.”

  A wistful smile arched his mouth as his hand slowly pressed into my skin through my shirt. He brought his mouth back to mine, his lips smooth, his tongue sweet.

  Exploring the body they’d missed so badly, my hands roamed his chest and his arms. Where I touched, his muscles twitched, jerked in recognition.

  Snaking his hand under my back, he drew me close, pressed his body into mine. “Daniel,” escaped as a moan from the back of my throat.

  My whole body ignited when he began to slowly move against me.

  He wet my neck with open-mouthed kisses, and tingles shot down my spine when he traveled across the sensitive skin to the back of my ear, licking and sucking the whole way. He moved down my neck and over my shoulder, kissing a trail across my collarbone.

  I found the hem of his shirt and tugged. He sat back and I ripped the fabric over his head, tossing it to the floor, leaving his heaving chest exposed. When he threw himself back at me, his mouth was urgent. His hands were everywhere as he ran them up and down my body.

  “I wish I could tell you what I’m feeling right now,” he whispered against my lips, his voice hoarse with desire. “How many times I fantasized about this.”

  “Yes...” I whispered back, unable to voice my own emotions—too many, too strong.

  Above my head, he gathered both of my hands in one of his, skimmed down the exposed flesh of my arm with the other. He grazed past my jaw and neck, ran his thumb across my breast. He released a heavy breath when he found the band of my pants, his fingers trembling as he tugged the drawstring loose.

  He pulled back, looking me in the eye as if to ask permission. Slowly, I lifted my hips, and he slid his hand between the fabric and my skin, pushing my pants down inch by inch until they fell to the floor. His fingers caressed my bare skin, awakening the desire I’d always held for him but never thought would find release.

  His face was so close, his forehead against mine, his shaky breath mixing with mine. Gentle hands pushed my shirt up and over my head, his gaze never leaving mine.

  Cool air hit my bare skin and combined with the heat radiating from Daniel. Thrilling shivers raced through my body.

  His eyes swept over me. There was an audible intake of air as he looked down upon my naked flesh. “So beautiful,” he murmured, more to himself than to me as his eyes traveled farther down. I heard a small gasp and his body stiffened.

  Chapter Eighteen

  My eyes roamed her body, taking in every change and remembering all that was the same. I froze, my breath gone as old sorrow took its place. Eva. Her face filtered through my mind when I saw the scarred flesh, tangible evidence of my baby girl. Our baby girl. I looked at Melanie. Her face filled with understanding, her love and pain for Eva mingling with my own. My fingers shook as I reached a tentative hand out to touch them, to run my fingers along the skin marred in perfection, the deformity a treasure. I ached to embrace my baby girl as I left small kisses along the long-healed wounds, praying Eva could somehow feel my love for her.
r />   I found Melanie’s face, desperate to tell the one person I knew would understand. “I miss her.” Gentle fingers reached out to run through my hair, her expression soft as we shared in a loss I was certain neither of us had ever healed from. No words were needed as we mourned for our daughter, our heartbreak freely given to each other. And for the first time since I’d lost Eva, my thoughts of her were not completely unbearable.

  I’d never stop missing my baby girl, never stop loving her, but as Melanie and I clung to each other, I knew I could finally allow myself to heal.

  The intensity of the moment was overpowering in the quiet stillness of the room filled. The tension grew as our energy surged in the air. Finally, it was too much.

  “Daniel, please.”

  Simple words, words I was all too happy to heed.

  Hooking my thumbs around the edges of her panties, I pulled them down slowly down her legs. “Beautiful,” tumbled from my mouth as I looked down upon her fully unclothed and waiting for me.

  I scooted off the bed and removed my jeans and boxers in one quick movement. Slowly, I crawled back between her legs. I showered her in adoration, hands and words and mouth.

  I pulled back, just a fraction, so I could focus on her face. Never had I felt more loved—more complete. Green eyes stared back at me, filled with so much emotion. Melanie’s spirit swam behind them, promising me that I was everything.

  I took her hands in each of mine and pressed them into the bed at either side of her head, hugging her body close, the energy so intense it almost burned.

  “Are you ready for me?”

  “Yes,” she whispered, her mouth a breath away, her body trembling as she anticipated me. Her eyes held mine and I pushed into her slowly, every nerve aflame in expectation of the greatest pleasure I could know. Melanie’s skin was flushed and radiant. Her face told of ecstasy and life, a spirit roused, two souls rejoined, marking it the most significant moment in my life as she became one with me.

  Sweat shone across her forehead, her mouth twisting with a hint of satisfaction. I nearly cried when she began to move beneath me.

  I fought to maintain control, focusing on the beat of her heart and the warmth in her eyes. I caressed her face and kissed her mouth. Intuition took over and I began to move with her.

  The memories I had of making love with Melanie could never compare to the real thing. This physical gratification was greater than any other. Ever. Nothing could possibly feel better. But it went so far beyond that, this connection we shared. I almost wept as she clung to me, digging her fingernails into my skin as we shared the most intimate of embraces. I was filled with awe at being able hold this precious woman again, the one who had invaded every thought of mine for more than eleven years. Eleven years.

  “Promise me,” I grunted in desperation as I moved against her. “Promise you’ll never leave me.”

  Sweet, soft hands stroked away my worry, and Melanie uttered the only word I would ever accept. “Never.”

  “I’ll never let you go again, Melanie. Never. Nothing will come between us...nothing.” I would destroy anything, anyone who tried to take her from me. Being away from her was no longer an option. She was mine, only mine.

  “Never,” she promised again, unwavering, unshakable.

  I finally gave myself over to her, my body rushed against hers. I was lost in soft murmurs of love, our heat building and breaking. Waves of release rolled from Melanie’s flushed body, beckoning, coaxing me. Words of love and need and devotion came indistinct as I cried out in pleasure, a pleasure that had no comparison. It was a pleasure that went deeper than physical. It was a pleasure attained by a heart made whole. It was a pleasure found only in this beautiful, perfect girl.

  ***

  Heaven.

  There was no other way to describe it. Melanie laid wrapped in my arms, her head on my shoulder as she ran soft fingers over my chest.

  My hand trailed up and down the soft, creamy skin of her shoulder and arm, the other wrapped around her back holding her close.

  We’d lain silently together for more than an hour, basking in each other’s touch. We had so much to talk about, but we couldn’t seem to let go of this quiet moment.

  I still couldn’t believe I was lying next to her—next to my life. Long ago, I’d accepted I would never truly live again, that I would merely exist. Then when she’d reached for me, I’d been reborn. I glanced down to find her eyes. The pain, so evident this morning, had been wiped away. Her mouth spread into a radiant smile. She looked so—happy.

  I beamed down at her. Melanie’s cheeks immediately reddened, and she buried her head in the crook of my arm, mumbling into the skin, “You have no idea how much I missed your smile.” She propped herself on her elbow to look at me, running her fingers over my bare chest.

  I quirked an eyebrow. “That’s what you missed?”

  She released a small giggle before turning serious, her voice low and laced with sadness. “I missed you, Daniel. Everything about you, including that smile.”

  “You have no idea how much I missed you.”

  “I think I do.” She shifted to recline against the headboard and tucked the sheet under her arm. I mirrored her, trying to relax through the sudden unease that filled the room. It was apparent our quiet time had come to an end.

  She took my hand, holding it between us. “How did this happen to us?”

  I shook my head. We would probably spend forever asking the same question and never find an answer. “I don’t know, Melanie.” I pulled her closer, hating the distance. “How could you believe I would choose Stephanie over you...or anyone, for that matter? Had I ever shown anything less than commitment to you?”

  She grimaced, her body stiffening. “I was eighteen and heartbroken, Daniel. I didn’t know how to deal with everything that had happened. In one moment, it seemed like I’d lost everything—Eva, my ability to have children. I was depressed and insecure. In that frame of mind, it was easy to believe you’d been stolen from me too.” She sighed and closed her eyes, before opening them to me, contrite and guilt-ridden. “I never should have doubted your devotion to me. Deep inside, I always knew you wanted me, but those thoughts just kept creeping up on me. I felt I wasn’t good enough for you anymore and that you deserved more.”

  I closed my eyes, realizing everything she’d sacrificed because she thought it was what I wanted. I hooked my index finger under her chin, pulling her beautiful, distraught face back to mine. “Melanie, there’s no such thing as family without you.”

  I wiped her tears that flowed down her face. She shook her head in my palm, her hair hanging over her shoulder and brushing across the sheet.

  “You said you kept having those thoughts. When? What made you think that?”

  Her voice was small, hesitant, but necessary if we were going to deal with this and put it behind us. “When you told me in the hospital that I couldn’t have more children, it was the first thing I thought.”

  I clutched her to me, whispering reassurances as I ran my fingers through her hair. “Baby, I wanted to call you every day, every second. You were all I ever thought of. I should have, I know. I was so stupid, but you told me not to and...” I said, trailing off. If I had dialed once in the thousand times I’d picked up the phone, none of this would have ever happened.

  “And what?” she pressed, not letting it go.

  I was aware she already knew, but somehow it was hard to admit it aloud. “And...I blamed myself.” My guilt was probably the biggest factor in all of this. I sighed and ran my hand through my hair in an attempt to calm myself.

  “When you went back to Dallas, I was devastated, Melanie. I was convinced it was because you thought it was my fault and needed to get away from me. When you didn’t call me in all that time, some part of me started to believe you couldn’t forgive me.”

  She shook her head. “I don’t understand how you could have ever believed that.”

  I looked at her, incredulous. “What did you expect me
to believe, Melanie? One minute you’re moving in with my parents, and the next you’re leaving me...telling me not to contact you. I just assumed you’d finally realized the truth.”

  She cupped my face, searched my eyes. “Daniel, never, not for one day, did I ever blame you. You have to believe that.”

  “I know that now, Melanie. I’m just trying to make you understand what I felt then. Honestly, it’s what I felt up until three weeks ago when Erin finally told me your parents forced you to leave.”

  Melanie grimaced. “She told you?”

  I nodded as I ran my fingertips over her cheek. “You should have told me.”

  “I was just trying to protect you,” she whispered urgently.

  “I know, but it was wrong to hide it from me.” Really, I should have figured it out myself, the way her father had acted, the things he’d said. Grief and guilt had left us both irrational, vulnerable to our own thoughts and insecurities.

  “I’m so sorry, Daniel. I needed you so badly.”

  I shushed her, whispering how badly that I had needed her too, that I wasn’t angry, that neither of us was to blame—that maybe we’d both just been too young and naive to handle the circumstances we’d found ourselves in.

  I breathed her in, thankful that in spite of the disaster we’d created, she was here in my arms.

  She took a deep breath as her tears slowed. “You were always in my thoughts. Every night I’d pray that you could hear me.”

  How had we spent these years apart feeling exactly the same? How had one of us not broken down and sought the other out?