“I do know,” I murmured, hugging her closer, “You invaded...everything. I wanted you every day. I stayed away thinking you had found some kind of happiness in your new life.”
A sound that would be impossible to recreate came from deep within Melanie’s throat. “I was anything but happy—I never could have been without you—but I still managed to end up in the most miserable place possible.”
Eventually, I’d have to ask her how she gotten involved with an asshole like Nicholas. I really didn’t think I could stomach it at this point. We’d dealt with enough today without evoking the jealousy that conversation was sure to bring. The thought of anyone else touching my girl had me nearly homicidal.
“It’s all behind us now.” I pulled back so I could smile down at her.
Melanie fidgeted for a minute. “How’s Erin?” She flinched when Erin’s name passed through her lips. It hadn’t occurred to me before then that Melanie had missed Erin as much as Erin had missed her.
“She’s really good. She misses you.”
She eyed me skeptically.
“She loves you, Mel. Believe me when I say you’ve been a sore spot between us all these years.”
“What?”
I sighed, not looking forward to this revelation. “She had gone to Europe after graduation and didn’t get back until after I’d gone to Dallas for you. When she found out what happened, she was dead set on finding you but I wouldn’t let her. I made her promise to leave you alone and never contact you.”
Melanie recoiled as if she had been slapped. “Why?”
Why? Because I thought it was a really fucking bright idea at the time, that I was doing you a favor, that it would be easier for you that way.
I groaned, once again disgusted with myself. “I thought you’d feel guilty for leaving if Erin confronted you about it. Melanie, baby, I thought you wanted me...us...out of your life. You and I both know how Erin is. She would have had you packed and on your way home, even if that wasn’t what you really wanted. I couldn’t allow that. I wanted you to live, to be happy, and I thought that meant removing my family from the picture.”
“I thought you all had abandoned me.” Melanie shook her head.
“I’m so sorry. I hurt you, all the while thinking I was protecting you.” I drew her close, praying none of the shit we had to hash out would drive a wedge between us.
Closing her eyes, she pressed her lips together, seemed to be trying to accept what I’d revealed. “I understand what you were trying to do. I was just so alone. I had lost everybody...everything...you, Eva, Erin.” I flinched at her words, realizing I had no idea how much she had suffered. “Your mom and dad had been like parents to me, and they were just...gone.” She hesitated. “You know, I haven’t spoken to my father since leaving the hospital nine years ago. And things with my mom, well, they were never the same. I’ve seen her a handful of times since then, but I just could never completely forgive her for taking you away from me.”
Alone.
I knew how empty I had been, how alone I had felt. Still, I’d had my parents who had supported me, made sure I survived each day, and a sister who loved and encouraged me. Without them, I would never have been where I was today. In the beginning, they had kept me sane and breathing, but Melanie—she’d had no one.
“You’ll never be alone again.” I could promise her that.
Truly, I was a little shocked that she didn’t have a relationship with her parents. Yeah, they messed up our lives, no doubt. But they were her parents and Melanie was always the first to forgive. I just couldn’t fathom that she’d spent all of this time hating them. On the other hand, I would never forget they were the ones who set in motion the chain of events that ultimately took my girl from me.
“I can’t believe you haven’t talked to your dad since you left the hospital.”
She pursed her lips, shaking her head. “I never even knew what he was most angry about, me getting pregnant or the fact that I hid it from him. Either way, he disowned me. I was hurt at first, but over time, I realized just what a jerk he was. I mean, who would do that?”
I shook my head, at a loss. I was positive it was me he was angry with, not Melanie.
“What about your mom?”
She tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. “I don’t really know,” she said, shrugging, “ I guess she knew I’d never completely forgiven her and she kept her distance because of it.” She smiled a little, glanced up at me. “She called a few weeks ago...I could just tell things were different. She’s coming the week of Thanksgiving. I think we’re going to be okay.” With that, her mouth spread into a real smile, and while it would not be so easy for me to forgive Peggy, it was obvious Melanie needed her mom in her life. There’d be no way I’d stand in the way of that.
I rolled onto my back, pulling her with me. I reveled in the feel of her naked body pressed against mine as she lay against my chest. Slowly I caressed her back, her shoulders, her head, relishing the feel of her hair as it fell over her shoulders and onto mine.
Loving fingers ran through my hair, traced my jaw, played across my lips, perfection across my skin. She seemed thoughtful as she played with a lock of my hair. Her eyes finally locked with mine, filled with some unknown emotion. “You’re going to be a father.”
I stiffened under her, unable to stop my reaction as I rolled away and sat up on the side of the bed. Thinking of Vanessa’s baby made it hard to breathe. Melanie crawled up behind me, wrapping us up like a cocoon in the sheet. She leaned into me, holding me tight. “Daniel...what’s wrong?” Calmed by her touch, I ran my hand over my face and through my hair, drew in a shaky breath.
“I...I...” I looked down, unable to face her, but unwilling to lie. “I don’t want him.” I knew that statement was wrong in so many different ways. And honestly, I was terrified of Melanie’s reaction to him.
Melanie remained silent as she continued to soothe me, never faltering in the rhythmic movements she made on my shoulders and neck. With her mouth close to my ear, she spoke quietly, “Do you want to talk about it?”
Did I? Not really, but I couldn’t hide from it much longer. In three months, I would have a son, whether I liked it or not.
I turned to her. My lips were tight as I studied her face, looking for any indication of how she felt about the fact that I was going to be a father. All I found was concern for me. “I messed up. I was careless and stupid, and now there’s a child who’s going to suffer because of a mistake I made.”
“Suffer?” Her voice was soft, confused.
And this was where I failed.
“Because I can’t love him.”
Her hand stilled for a brief moment before resuming its calming reassurance, the slight shaking in her fingertips my only clue she was disappointed in me, just as she should be.
“Daniel, I’m so sorry. I can’t imagine what you’re going through, but I’m here for you—whatever you need.”
Okay, not disappointed, just understanding and sympathetic.
I was afraid to voice the words. What if this was all too much for her? Could I ask her to deal with all of my baggage?
“I’m going to have joint custody.” I looked at her, hoping she’d understand what this would mean.
Her mouth gaped. “I don’t understand. I thought you didn’t want him?”
I exhaled heavily, wishing I knew the answer to that question. “I don’t know what I was thinking when I told Vanessa that’s what I wanted. I’m not sure if it was out of spite or obligation.” I cringed as the words came out my mouth, appalled at my own admission, but I couldn’t be anything other than straightforward with Melanie. “I guess probably a bit of both.”
I was positive it weighed a little heavier on the spite side, demanding that control, doing anything to take some of it from Vanessa. As it was, Vanessa had been completely up my ass lately, texting and calling continuously, trying to get me involved in the pregnancy and, no doubt, with her. I’d almost recanted my claim to the child and offered ju
st to cut her a check. But paying her off would give her control and would do nothing to stop her from hounding me in the future. I refused to allow that to happen.
I waited, giving Melanie the opportunity to digest all of this information. I grew restless when she said nothing. Finally, unable to take her silence any longer, I pleaded, “Please…say something. Tell me what you’re thinking.”
“I’m thinking that I love you, and anything you have to deal with, I have to deal with.”
I turned and pulled her to me, tugging her onto my lap, breathing my relief onto the top of her head.
“Thank you.” What more could I say?
I glanced at the little clock on the nightstand. It was already past two. We’d been in this bed for almost four hours.
“Come on...let’s get your stuff.” Gauging what little I knew about her marriage, I was betting that Melanie had very few possessions of her own. What we couldn’t fit in the car, we’d just replace.
Her head jerked back to meet my face, panicked as she scrambled to sit up. “I can’t leave yet.”
What?
After everything we’d just shared and promised, she was going to say she couldn’t leave?
“No way, Melanie.” The thought of leaving her here with Nicholas—I didn’t even try to hide my disgust. “I will not share you with that asshole.”
“Stop. Listen to me.” She gripped my shoulders. “You’ll never share me. I’m yours. If you look around,” she said as she gestured around the room, “you’ll see that this is where I sleep. I haven’t shared his bed since the night of the dinner. I knew then I was yours, even if I couldn’t have you. I’ll never again give myself to anyone else, especially Nicholas.” I relaxed a little, not because I was conceding but because of the relief from knowing that Melanie hadn’t been sleeping with him.
“This isn’t just about us, Daniel. What about your building?” she said, as if that somehow could be more important than she was.
“I couldn’t care less about the building, Melanie. It means nothing.”
“Maybe not to you, but what about Shane and Katie? They’re the only family I’ve had this whole time. I owe them this for everything they’ve done for me. I honestly don’t know whether I would still exist if Katie hadn’t been there for me, and I’m not going to do something that would jeopardize Shane’s freedom.”
“What are you talking about?”
“Shane hates Nicholas almost as much as I do. With the profit from the building, he’s planning to break from Nicholas and start his own company. He needs this. We have to at least figure out how to do this without putting the deal in jeopardy.”
It was so frustrating—Melanie always thinking about everyone except herself. I didn’t see how Melanie leaving Nicholas would affect the building. I had a signed contract. Nicholas had to stick to it, didn’t he? Honestly, I hadn’t even looked at the contract when I had signed it, so I had no idea.
Okay, so maybe I needed to talk to Shane—and my lawyer.
Melanie’s hands were back on my face, forcing me to look at her. “And my mom, I need to try to work things out with her...to know her again. I miss her.” She looked away, deep in thought, whispered, “You know I’m not ashamed of us, Daniel, but I think she and I need to resolve the past before I tell her you and I are back together.”
I groaned with frustration. I couldn’t imagine walking out that door without her.
“If you think I want to stay here, you’re wrong. There’s no other place I want to be than with you.”
I drew her close, murmured against the soft skin of her neck, “It absolutely kills me to leave you here.”
She tightened her hold and exhaled softly, knowing I’d surrendered.
I knew a little part of her wished I’d refuse and throw her over my shoulder and carry her out the door.
“I know,” she said, “but we have to.”
She pulled me down on the bed beside her, her face at peace as she smiled at me. Even though it had been hard revisiting all of our issues, we had come to the place where our questions were answered and we were confident about our future.
Our future.
Melanie kissed me solidly on the mouth, humming in contentment as she snuggled in close to my side. “Besides, was this afternoon so bad?”
I grinned back at her and trailed my nose down her jaw. “No, no, not bad at all,” I agreed as my hands began to roam her body.
As I came to her for the second time that day, the desperation of our broken hearts was gone, replaced with the security of what would be.
Chapter Nineteen
I watched as the black car slowly drove away. It took all the power within me not to run after him. I stood there in silence as he disappeared from view, wondering if this qualified as breaking the promise that we had just reiterated, the one that bound me to tell him everything I was feeling, what I feared, and what I needed.
Yeah, probably.
But I couldn’t voice it to Daniel.
He didn’t know Nicholas like I did.
I was the one who bore witness to the highly questionable things that had taken place in my home over the past nine years, things that Nicholas did without a second thought if it benefitted him in any way. I’d seen him lie and cheat and steal. He would go any distance to keep something from damaging his reputation—his self-importance.
When Daniel nonchalantly told me to get my things so we could leave, he’d caught me off guard. It was as if being with him hadn’t been real, that the afternoon was a figment of my imagination, and soon I would wake up to live my non-existence.
Realizing what Daniel planned had solidified the reality of what we’d experienced, and I’d panicked. I was seized with visions of the punishment Nicholas would impose upon me when he dragged me back here. Most of them centered on Daniel being harmed in some form or another because of me. So I’d searched for reasons to stay, and well, they seemed likely enough because they were, in fact, true. We had to make sure the building went through and it was high time for me to reconcile with Mom. I had to see that through. The fact was, though, one way or another, those situations could have been resolved without my being here.
Deep inside, I was probably being irrational. In all probability, Nicholas would do nothing to me, but I had to have time to think about how to leave him. He would take it a lot better if he didn’t come home and just find me gone. If I gradually withdrew from him, he wouldn’t be shocked when I finally did leave. He’d expect it. It was what I’d initially planned to do when I had made plans to leave with Katie, so this wouldn’t be any different.
I just needed a couple of weeks to make it clear to Nicholas that he did not own me. Then I would leave. I would stay through Mom’s visit, and ensure Daniel and I didn’t hurt Shane and Katie with any rash decisions. Then I would be free.
A contented smile spread across my face at the thought. Free—with Daniel. I’d spent nine years here. I could somehow endure a few more weeks.
I withdrew back into the house, filled with emotions that had so long been lacking from my life that I almost didn’t recognize them.
I padded barefoot across the cool floor, my feet light as if I were no longer weighed down. I hummed quietly to myself as I stood in front of the refrigerator, pulling out the ingredients for the salmon I’d planned to make for dinner. I sealed the salmon in foil and placed the packets in the oven before dancing across the kitchen to start water for rice. When I caught my reflection in the arched window overlooking the backyard, I stopped short.
And grinned.
I ran into the bathroom to get a better look. The mirror confirmed what I’d seen in the hazy window.
Yes, my hair was a mess and my clothes were wrinkled and disheveled. But my face—it was flushed and pink and glowing.
It was me. The real me—not broken Melanie, but my mother’s little girl. The girl who’d run carefree and climbed trees in her daddy’s backyard. The one who’d stayed up late giggling with her friends in
sixth grade as we’d dreamed of our first kiss. The fifteen-year-old girl who’d fallen in love with Daniel Montgomery. The same one who’d love him until the day she died. I’d almost forgotten her, but there she was, staring straight back, her eyes alight and alive.
I traced the outline of my face, touching the heated skin of my cheeks and fingering the creases at the corners of my eyes as if I had to confirm that what I was seeing was real.
I smiled once more at my reflection before heading back into the kitchen. Joy surrounded me like an aura, hovering in the air, dense and thick, but unlike the weight of pain, it provided comfort and warmth.
Daniel loved me, wanted me, had me. The experience was euphoric. It was as if we had been taken to another realm, to a place where only the two of us existed.
My hands worked with precision as I sliced tomatoes and onions for a salad, fingers wet from the lettuce as I ripped the leaves from the head piece by piece. My body hummed with excitement, right along with the humming that came from my mouth.
There was nothing that could touch my mood. Well, except for the sound of the garage opening and the purr of the car pulling in. I vowed that I wouldn’t even let Nicholas steal this feeling from me. Instead of focusing on the sound of his footsteps echoing through the house, I focused on the warmth still covering every inch of my body from Daniel’s touch.
Heat flooded my cheeks.
I averted my face as Nicholas entered the room, concealing myself by stooping to retrieve the silver salad bowl from under the island. I waited until the refrigerator door snapped open to stand.
I said nothing to Nicholas when he turned, simply ignored his presence as I filled the bowl. He twisted the cap off the beer bottle and crossed his arms over his chest. Sighing deeply, he rested against the refrigerator door and took a deep drag of the yellow liquid. I moved across the room and poured the rice into the boiling water, careful to keep my head down as I made my way back to the island to keep from drawing attention to myself. It took everything in me to stay focused on the task in front of me.
The intensity of Nicholas’s dark eyes burned into the side of my face, and anxiety steadily built within me. I’d been so successful in avoiding him for the better part of a month. Neither of us had said anything more than was necessary to the other. Now there was something very different and very unsettling about the way he stood silently drinking me in.
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