“Nicholas.” Mom’s voice still hinted her amusement. “Would you be a dear and carve the turkey for us?”
Nicholas was far from a dear, and it would have made me cringe had I not known of Mom’s contempt for him. She was apparently just a little bit better at hiding it than I was.
“I’d love to.”
I couldn’t keep from rolling my eyes. Nicholas was the ultimate charlatan.
We all took a seat and filled our plates.
The mood was surprisingly light, even with Nicholas at the table. Mom and I were on a high because of the week we’d spent together and the small breakthrough we’d made earlier that evening. Even Nicholas seemed to enjoy himself, adding small bits to the conversation and acting as if he were a halfway-decent person. Mom had said very little to him the entire week, but with the light climate, she engaged him, chatting about his well-known love of the game of golf.
“So, how’s work, Nicholas?”
I choked on the wine I’d just tipped into my mouth, forcing it down my throat, suddenly very uncomfortable with the change of subject.
“It’s great...perfect really. You know I’ve been quite successful in the past, but this year we’ve exceeded all our goals.” His face glowed with pride, his eyes gleaming as he told her of the prosperity soon to befall him. “We just landed the largest contract we’ve ever had.”
God, no. Please, I silently begged as I twisted the fabric napkin tightly around my fingers in my lap.
Mom smirked, Nicholas oblivious as she patronized, “Well, that is quite impressive, Nicholas.”
He nodded vigorously, shoving another bite of turkey into his mouth before continuing, “Yeah. It’s this huge medical complex.”
I closed my eyes, praying for him to stop.
“A new oncology center. It’s pretty extravagant...going to make us a ton of money.”
“Oh, what kind of oncology?” Mom feigned interest, simply keeping up the conversation, unaware of the trap she was setting for me.
Mom, please, stop. I struggled to think of some way to portray the words to her, but nothing would come.
“Breast cancer. Some big shots that came up with some new treatment...” Nicholas sneered, not covering his distaste, “The Montgomerys.”
Mom sputtered, whipping her head around to look at me. “Daniel?” Her eyes were wide from the impact of the name, growing into sheer panic when she took on my expression. Her throat bobbed, and she swallowed hard as if she were trying to reel his name back in.
Nicholas froze, momentarily dumbfounded by her words. He looked back and forth between the two of us before understanding dawned on his face.
“And just how do you know Dr. Montgomery, Peggy?” Nicholas demanded, his face red as he glared at her from across the table.
Her eyes darted to mine, and she quickly shifted them to her lap and said nothing.
Nicholas jumped to his feet, his hands flat on the table as he leaned forward, his attention now directed to me. “How the fuck do you know Daniel Montgomery?” he growled.
I was going to throw up. I squeezed my eyes shut, trying to find some sort of acceptable answer to give him.
He couldn’t find out—not like this.
He slammed his fist down on the table. “Tell me!”
I recoiled into the chair, muttering the words into my lap, “He was my baby’s father.”
I didn’t look up until I heard the mocking chuckle. “Well...isn’t that sweet.”
He looked away, rubbing his fingers over his mouth as he gathered his thoughts, before he turned his attention back to me, trapping me with his eyes while he spoke to Mom. “Peggy, I think you need to give me a moment with my wife.”
I sat rigidly except for my hands that shook uncontrollably under the table. I stared at the half-eaten plate of food in front of me. Mom’s eyes burned into me, pleading for direction on what to do. I was too terrified to acknowledge her. I felt her give up and rise from her chair, her footsteps soft as she walked from the room.
An overwhelming feeling of dread consumed me, my chest convulsing in waves as I tried to hide my fear.
Right then, all I wanted was Daniel. I wanted him to break through the door and save me, to swoop in and rescue me. I wished I’d just listened to him when he’d begged me to leave in the first place. I was so stupid. Now, I’d placed us both in more danger than we ever would have faced otherwise.
I flinched when Nicolas suddenly moved, stalking around the table and grabbing my arm. He dragged me into the kitchen and pushed me up against the wall.
Tears sprung to my eyes, and I fought to hold them back. Showing him weakness would only make it worse.
“Suddenly that night makes a whole lot more sense to me. The way you fumbled all over yourself and acted like a complete fool...made me look like a fool.” He dug his fingers into my arm. I bit my lip to keep from crying out.
It was as if he could taste it—my fear. His mouth twisted up in a malicious grin as he pinned me to the wall with one hand by the neck.
“It would be a shame for something to happen to such a young, promising doctor, wouldn’t it?” His mock concern turned my stomach. My blood ran cold and my mouth suddenly went dry when he brought both hands to my neck.
“Besides, do you really think he’d want you? You and your worthless body?”
Panic worked its way through my body, my legs beginning to flail and my fingers clawing at his hands as I sucked in enough air to produce the lie. “He didn’t want me then, why would he want me now?”
He cracked a menacing smile. “That’s right.” He increased the pressure of his hold, but he had enough of my weight pinned against the wall that he didn’t completely obstruct the flow of air.
It was a warning.
“I was beginning to think maybe you’d forgotten who you belong to.” This time when he squeezed, he stole my breath. “Don’t fuck with me, Melanie.”
“Oh my God.” My mother’s gasp echoed over the tile floor of the kitchen, leaving me feeling both relieved and ashamed at having her find me like this.
Reflexively, Nicholas glanced over his shoulder at Mom, releasing his hold. I crumbled and landed hard against the floor. He turned to her, his voice hard and without remorse. “I was just reminding your daughter of her place.”
He leaned down close to my face, his breath making me sick as I gasped for air. “Until death do us part.” His voice lowered as he came in even closer, his mouth pressed into my cheek. “Don’t forget it.”
I struggled, finding enough strength to whisper the thing I wanted to say most. “I hate you.” It was hardly a defense, but I couldn’t go another second without him knowing exactly how I felt about him.
“Oh, I know...” he sneered, his mouth twitching up as if he experienced some sort of morbid pleasure in my misery.
He stood and strode from the room. He brushed past Mom as if she wasn’t there, leaving me in a pile on the floor trying to piece myself back together.
My hands fisted as angry tears flowed down my face. How had I allowed it to come to this? Allowed him this control? I was worse off now than I had been when I’d started. The worst part was that Mom stood just ten feet away, her face pale, trembling, frozen in fear.
I felt the break, the way her mind snapped into action, and she rushed to me. “Melanie...”
I tried to pull myself from the floor, but it was harder to do than I had anticipated. My feet wobbled beneath me, and I had to reach out to steady myself on the wall. I was having a hard time making my limbs function.
Mom reached to help me, her face stricken. “Melanie,” she said again, “Are...”
I put my hand out to stop her, feeling horrible for doing so, but I couldn’t handle talking about this with her yet. I had to figure out what I was going to do. I had been thrown back to square one, and I had no idea where to go from here.
Chapter Twenty-three
The door silently clicked behind me, and I fell onto the unmade bed and buried my f
ace in the pillows in an attempt to drown out my cries.
I snaked my arm under my chest and up to the fiery skin, bruised at Nicholas’s hand, a concrete warning that his threats were more than just idle. I’d never felt so helpless.
I tried to ignore the light tapping against the door, but then Mom called softly, “Melanie? Sweetheart? I’m so sorry.”
I took in a breath, tried to hide my tears and the hoarseness of my voice. “Not tonight, Mom. Please. I’m okay, I just need some time.” She was probably blaming herself for what had happened, but I couldn’t bring myself to talk to her yet.
She patted the door, a soft, soothing sound that promised she was there if I needed her, followed by the sound of her retreating footsteps.
I fell into a restless sleep filled with nightmares, ones where I searched but could never find, where he called and I could never answer—where I would never be free to live my life with Daniel.
***
The sky was still dark when I awoke, the house silent except for the distinct sound of the shower running upstairs.
I swallowed, bringing my fingers up to touch the sensitive skin at my neck, and I fought against the angry tears that pricked at my eyes.
I hated him so much.
The shower shut off, and Nicholas’s footsteps moved heavily on the floor in the room above. Soon, the sound traveled down the stairs. I waited, tense. After what seemed like hours, the garage door opened and closed, and silence fell over the house once again.
I released the terrified breath I’d been holding.
Standing, I stretched my sore muscles and tiptoed across the floor to open the door a crack and peeked into the living room. Mom slept on the couch, hugging the blue blanket from her room to her chest.
A wistful smile played at my lips as I realized she’d slept there to protect me.
I closed the door, unwilling to interrupt her sleep, and crawled back into bed, knowing I’d never get any more sleep.
About an hour later, I heard rattling in the kitchen. I shuffled into the kitchen, embarrassed and unable to make eye contact with Mom when I entered.
I had no idea what to say to her or how to explain how I’d ended up like this.
She filled two green coffee mugs as I took a seat on a barstool at the island, and she slid the mug to me across the smooth surface of the countertop. I mumbled a quiet, “Thank you,” as I rubbed my eye with the back of my hand, trying to clear my head. Lifting the mug, I inhaled deeply and brought the cup to my lips.
Neither of us wanted to have this conversation, especially after last night, but we were out of time. I just had no idea where to start.
Apparently, Mom did.
“Daniel?” she asked, her voice soft.
A little choking sound escaped my mouth, my eyes wide as I jerked my head up. She waited patiently while she stared at me. Finally, I nodded, my voice cracking when I spoke. “I love him, Mom.”
“I know, sweetheart.” She sat on the stool across from me, watching me sip my coffee. Her expression was understanding and without judgment.
“Will you tell me?” she asked.
I hesitated only for a second before I nodded. “Yeah. I need you to know.”
Without interruption, she listened while I told her of the fateful evening that had brought Daniel and I face-to-face and everything we’d learned since. Her eyes grew wider and I could see her guilt grow with each account. She seemed to stop breathing altogether when I got to the part where Daniel had gone to Texas.
“I’m so sorry, Melanie. I can’t tell you how badly I wanted to let you know that he came, how many times I picked up the phone to call. I just couldn’t. It seemed that every time I tried to intervene in your life, I just messed things up more.”
“Like forcing me to go home with you?” I tried to remain impassive, but there was a bite to my words. It still made me so angry.
She sighed and nodded, looking out the window at the still morning before looking back at me. “I never meant to hurt you.”
“But you did.”
This was getting hard. No wonder we’d so carefully avoided it the whole week.
“I know I did, and I take responsibility for it. But please believe me when I tell you it was never my intention.”
“Mom, you were going to have him arrested! How did you think that wouldn’t hurt me? You treated the one person who loved me more than anyone else like a criminal. And why? Because he was ten-months older than me? What you did was...was cruel. At one point I would have said unforgivable.”
She blanched, and I knew it hurt her to hear it, but she needed to understand what she had done.
“Melanie...” She looked down as if in shame. “Part of me really did believe that the two of you needed some time apart, but I’d never planned on keeping you from Daniel forever. Your father...”
Anger flashed hot across my skin with the mention of my dad.
“He was so angry with Daniel. When I first got to the hospital, he was obviously furious about the whole situation and hurt at being deceived, but not any more than I was. Then when Eva passed...” She paused as if saying her name hurt. I’m sure the expression on my face reflected the way she felt. “He just snapped,” she went on. “He blamed Daniel for...everything...you...the accident...Eva’s death. He was set on making Daniel pay, and he figured the best way to do that would be to take you away from him. I tried to make him understand that it would punish you just as much as it would Daniel, but he wouldn’t listen. I’d just thought it would be best to take you home with me and let things cool off. It didn’t mean that decision didn’t come with a ton of guilt, but I figured everything would work out the way it was supposed to in the end.”
She chuckled humorlessly, shaking her head. “That was where my plan fell to pieces. I couldn’t believe that Daniel hadn’t called you in all of those months. It ripped my heart out to hear you crying in your room and there was nothing I could do. When you were set on going back, I knew you were getting ready to get your heart broken all over again...that Daniel had betrayed you in some way.”
She glanced away, before turning her attention back to me. Her eyes glistened with unshed tears. “Then you showed up at my door with Nicholas...it made me sick to see you with him. I knew you were running from whatever you’d found in Colorado. But by then, I’d realized part of that was my fault, and I made the decision right then that I was done interfering in your life.” She looked away, her mouth trembling. “That was the worst decision I’ve ever made.”
“Why now, Mom? Why did you wait so long to tell me this?”
A tear broke free and slid down her face. “Because I hated myself, Melanie. Do you have any idea what it feels like to watch your daughter fade away and know it’s your fault? I stayed away because I couldn’t stand to see what I’d done. I went through so many years of depression, carried so much guilt, especially for never telling you Daniel had come to Texas. When he’d first shown up, I figured he was just there to beg you back after he’d had enough of whatever girl he’d hooked up with while you were away. But inside...I knew...I saw the same thing in his face that I saw in yours. It haunted me, and the longer I hid from it, the stronger it grew.”
She dabbed at her eye with a tissue, sucked in a shuddering breath, attempted to smile. “Mark convinced me to get help about a year and a half ago. I went on medication that helped me to think clearer, but it was the counseling that made the difference. The day I called, I’d just been to see my therapist. She finally made me see that I had to tell you.”
Resting my elbows on the top of the island, I buried my head in my hands, trying to deal with everything she’d said. I looked up, meeting her bleary eyes. “You should have told me,” I whispered.
“I know that now, and that’s why I’m here. I wish I could take it all back, but I can’t. All I can do now is ask for forgiveness.”
I put my hand over my mouth and tried to block the sob that built up in my throat. They’d stolen so many years, S
tephanie, my dad, my mom. But when I looked at my mother now, I couldn’t find the anger that part of me recognized should be there. “I just wish we hadn’t lost so much time.”
She pressed her fingers against her mouth, a harsh sound of relief escaping through them as the tears she’d been holding back began to fall. “Oh...Melanie.” She wiped at her face with the tissue.
Inhaling, she straightened and inclined her head to capture my eyes. “I’m done with turning my cheek, Melanie...I’m not going to stand aside and watch you live like this.” She glanced around. “You have to get out of this house.”
“I know, Mom.” Somehow I had to get out of here. I just couldn’t hide the fear of actually doing it.
Chapter Twenty-four
I was done.
Her concern was clearly for me, but my safety was the least of my concerns.
I released the blind, allowing it to fall back into place, cutting off the stream of natural sunlight from my office once he had driven away. It was the third time I’d seen him, twice in front of my office and once outside my apartment building the day I moved to the new house. He was just sitting, watching, waiting. He wasn’t even trying to hide himself. It seemed that just as Melanie had been trying to send him a message, he was sending me one in return.
After what had happened on Thanksgiving, everything had changed. I’d only seen Melanie four times in the past three weeks, only in those rare moments when we were certain Nicholas was busy, relying on Shane to let us know when it was safe to steal away for a little bit of time.
Melanie insisted that she continue to stay in his house. As hard as she tried to convince me otherwise, I knew it wasn’t about the plan anymore. She was scared.
I’d promised to give her the time she needed, but not if giving her that time put her in danger. The whole thing had backfired, and I wasn’t about to stand by while she was forced back into that hopeless life.
Never in a million years would I have thought Peggy would become my ally through all of this. I’d not even known what to say when she’d called and explained everything to me, apologizing for what she’d done. Melanie had freely forgiven her, as if I would ever expect anything less from her. I wanted to have the capacity to do the same, but I still couldn’t get over how Peggy had let it go on for so many years. She knew we still loved each other and had seen what Melanie had become and she’d never done a thing.
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