He straightened up as he saw her coming. A flick of his green eyes took in Brittany, too, and Melody knew he was wondering if they were going to have this conversation with an audience. She saw him straighten his shoulders and clench his teeth a little more tightly, and she knew he intended to say what he had to say whether or not her sister was listening.
But, “I’ve got to get back to work,” Britt announced. She narrowed her eyes at Jones. “Will you see that she gets home safely?”
Jones nodded, managing only a ghost of his usual five-thousand-watt smile. “That’s my specialty.”
“Okay,” Brittany said, backing away. “Then I’m out of here. It was nice finally meeting you, Lieutenant Jones.”
“Likewise, ma’am.”
Melody had forgotten how polite Cowboy Jones could be. She’d forgotten how green his eyes were, how good he smelled, how sweet his lips had tasted…No, she hadn’t forgotten that. She had simply tried to forget.
“Are you really all right?” Jones asked. His smile was gone again, and he gazed searchingly into her eyes, looking for what, she didn’t know. “They don’t want to keep you here overnight or anything? Do more tests…?”
She shook her head, suddenly shy, suddenly wishing that Brittany hadn’t walked away. “I didn’t have much breakfast, and being hungry combined with chasing Andy across the common made me light-headed. It hasn’t been an easy pregnancy—I’ve had trouble keeping food down almost right from the start.”
“I’m sorry.”
Melody glanced up at him. I’ll bet you are. She forced a smile. “Brittany wouldn’t let me leave until I had lunch. Did you have something to eat?”
“Yeah. I grabbed a sandwich from the cafeteria.” He was uncomfortable, too. “Do you want to sit down?”
“No, I want to…I want to go home. If you don’t mind.”
He shook his head. “I don’t mind. It might be easier to talk someplace less public.” He led the way toward the double doors. “My car’s out this way.”
“Are you still with SEAL Team Ten?” she asked, realizing as they stepped out into the warm afternoon sunshine that she had about a million questions to ask him.
“Yes, ma’am.”
God, they’d regressed all the way back to “ma’am.” “How’s Harvard?”
“He’s fine. He’s good. The entire squad’s in Virginia—for the next few months, at least.”
“Say hello for me next time you see him.”
“I will.” He gestured with his head. “Car’s over here.”
“Have you heard from Crash?” Melody waited as he unlocked and opened her door for her.
Cowboy’s swim buddy, Crash, was as dark and mysterious as his odd nickname implied. They’d met him by chance at the hotel in Paris. Crash wasn’t a member of Alpha Squad, or even SEAL Team Ten. In fact, Cowboy hadn’t been absolutely certain where the SEAL he’d called his best friend back in BUD/S training was assigned. Except for the accidental meeting, it had been years since they’d even seen each other, but the ongoing mutual trust and respect between the two men had been obvious.
“I got some e-mail from him just last week. Nothing much—just a hi, how are ya, I’m still alive. But when I wrote to him, the mail all bounced back, undeliverable. Need help getting in?” He watched her maneuver her unwieldy body into the bucket seat.
She shook her head. “It looks more awkward than it really is. Although ask me again when we get to my house—I won’t refuse a hand getting out.”
Jones leaned over so that he was at her eye level. “I can’t believe you still have two more months to go.” He quickly backpedaled. “Not to imply that you’re not telling the truth or…” He closed his eyes, swearing softly. When he opened them again, his eyes were a startling shade of green against the tan of his face. “What I was trying to say was that if that baby gets much bigger, it’s going to be a real struggle for you to give birth.” He paused. “I want you to know that from the moment I saw you, Mel, I didn’t doubt for a minute that the baby was mine.”
“Jones, you don’t have to—”
“You haven’t denied that I’m right.”
“I haven’t said anything either way!”
“You don’t have to.” Jones straightened up and closed the car door. As Melody watched, he crossed around the front and unlocked the driver’s-side door. “I called your neighbor—Vince Romanella—about that kid. He said to relax—that he’d find him. Andy. That’s the kid’s name.”
The subject of whose baby she was carrying seemed to have been temporarily and quite intentionally dropped. “I know,” Melody said as he climbed in and started the car. “Brittany told me you called Information to get Vince’s number. Thank you for doing that.”
“It was no problem.” He took a left as he pulled out of the driveway.
“Don’t you want me to give you directions?”
Jones glanced at her. “I know where you live. I checked a map and went out there this morning, but you weren’t home.” He smiled slightly, politely, as if they were strangers. “Obviously.”
Melody couldn’t stand it anymore. “Look, I think you should just drop me off and drive away.” He was silent, so she took a deep breath and went on. “You can pretend you don’t know. Pretend you never came to Appleton. Just…drive into Boston and catch the next flight to Virginia and don’t look back. Don’t say hi to Harvard for me. Don’t say anything. You can tell the guys I wouldn’t see you and…”
She had to stop and clear her throat. He was holding on to the steering wheel so tightly his knuckles were white, but he still didn’t speak.
“I know you didn’t ask for this, Jones. I know this was not what you were thinking when we spent that time together. It wasn’t what I was thinking, either, but I’ve had a chance to deal with it. I’ve had time to fall in love with this little baby, and I’m okay about it now. I’m excited about it. It may not have been what I wanted seven months ago, but I do want it now. Your being here messes things up.”
He pulled into her driveway and, leaving the engine running, turned toward her. “It was on the flight to Paris, wasn’t it? That’s when it happened.”
The look in his eyes was so intense, Melody felt as if he had X-ray vision and could see deep inside of her. She prayed that he couldn’t. She prayed that he wouldn’t know how close she was to throwing up even as she desperately tried to send him away forever.
“Drive away,” she said again, steeling herself, purposely making her words as harsh as she possibly could. “And don’t look back. I don’t need you, Jones. And I don’t want you.”
He looked away, but not before she saw a flare of hurt in his eyes. Her heart nearly broke, but she forced herself to go on. It was better this way. It had to be better this way.
“I know for a fact that the last thing you need is this baby and me, tying you down in any way at all. All you can possibly do is complicate things by sticking around. I have money. I have enough saved so that I can spend the next four years at home with the baby. My mother’s already started a trust fund for him, for college. There’s nothing you can give him that I haven’t already thought of and provided.”
He tried to cover his hurt with a cynical smile. “Well, hell, honey. Don’t hold back. Tell me how you really feel.”
She felt like a total bitch. But she had to do this. She had to make him leave before he got some crazy idea of “doing right” by her. “I’m sorry. I just didn’t think now was the time to play games.”
He exhaled in what might’ve been a laugh, but there wasn’t much humor in it. “I’d say we pretty much covered the game-playing seven months ago.”
Melody flushed, knowing precisely to what he was referring. They’d left their hotel room only once each night—for dinner. They’d gone out onto the winding, romantic streets of both those foreign cities and had let their insatiable desire for one another drive them half-mad. They’d kissed and touched and gazed into each other’s eyes in a silent contest of wills. Wh
o would be the first to give in and beg the other to return to their room to make giddy, passionate love?
Jones had had no shame, sliding his hand up her skirt, along the inside of her thigh to touch her intimately beneath the curtained privacy of a thick restaurant tablecloth. She had lost the battle that night but won the next when he did the same, only to discover she’d gone out without her panties on—without even the smallest scrap of lace to cover her. And when she smiled into his eyes right there in the restaurant and opened herself to his exploring fingers…
They’d taken a taxi back to the hotel that night, even though the restaurant had only been a short three-block walk away.
It had happened similarly on that flight to France. What began as an innocent conversation about favorite books and movies with a four-star general also heading to Paris took on more meaningful undercurrents. Jones had thought it best to hide the nature of their relationship, and sitting side by side without touching soon had them both totally on edge.
Jones had had to reach past her to shake the general’s hand, and his arm brushed her breast. The sensation nearly sent her through the roof—a fact she knew that he had not missed.
She’d countered by leaning across him to get a look out the window at the countryside below and letting her fingers brush his thigh.
He’d stretched his legs and accidentally bumped into her.
She’d excused herself and went into one of the tiny bathrooms. When she returned and sat back down, she looked through her handbag in the pretense of searching for some chewing gum. She opened her bag carefully, revealing its contents—including a white bit of satin and lace—only to Jones and not the general. While she’d been gone, she’d once again removed her panties, knowing full well Jones would recognize the same article of clothing he’d taken such pains to remove earlier that morning, causing them to have to rush to get to the airport on time.
Melody felt her blush deepen. Who would’ve thought she’d have done such things, such daring, provocative, sexually aggressive things like that?
She’d liked it, though. She’d loved the way Jones had made her feel as if she was the sexiest woman in the world. She loved the way he’d needed her so desperately, the way he couldn’t seem to get enough of her.
On that flight to Paris, she’d lured him into the tiny bathroom. She hadn’t realized he wasn’t carrying any condoms. And he had thought she had some in her purse. But once they were together in that hot little closet of a room, the need to sate their searing desire had taken priority over the fact they had no protection.
Jones had roughly pushed her skirt up her thighs and she had wrapped her legs around him as he thrust deeply inside her and took her to heaven. He’d pulled out in an attempt to keep her from getting pregnant, but Melody was well aware that as a form of birth control, the withdrawal method was far less than foolproof.
Still, she’d convinced herself that one time wouldn’t matter. Surely they could cheat just once. Surely the odds were in their favor. And heck, luck had been on their side so far. Besides, she’d told herself, she wanted Jones badly enough to be willing to face the consequences.
As she glanced at him now, she knew he was remembering that little airplane bathroom, too. He was remembering the taste of her, the scent of her, the slick heat that surrounded him, carrying them both to ecstasy.
God knows she’d never forget the incredible waves of pleasure that engulfed her as he gritted his teeth, fighting to keep himself from releasing all of his seed deep inside her.
He cleared his throat not once but twice before he could speak. “At least the sex was the greatest I’ve ever had in my life. I mean, it would’ve been real anticlimactic—no pun intended—to find out that I got you pregnant after having only mediocre sex.”
Melody laughed. She couldn’t stop herself. It was so like Jones to search for the positives in a no-win situation. But then her eyes filled up and she opened the car door, afraid she was going to burst into tears.
Somehow she managed to scramble up and out of the bucket seat. She closed the door, then he climbed out, too. But he stood with his door open, engine still running, as he looked at her over the top of the car.
“Jones, we had fun together. I can’t deny that. But I told you back in March and I’m telling you again—what we shared is not enough to base any kind of real relationship on.” Her voice shook slightly, and she fought to steady it. “So good luck. God bless. Don’t think I won’t remember you. I will.” She forced a smile. “I brought home a souvenir.”
Jones shook his head. “Melody, I can’t—”
“Please. Do me a favor and don’t say anything,” she begged him. “Just…leave and think about it for a week or two. Don’t say anything until you’ve given yourself time to really think it through. This whole concept—my pregnancy—is still so new to you. I’m giving you a chance to walk away. No strings attached. Give yourself time to think about what that means before you say or do anything rash.” She turned and headed toward the house.
He didn’t follow, thank God.
She nearly dropped her keys as she unlocked the door. As she went inside, he was still standing there, half in and half out of his car.
As she shut the door behind her, she heard the car door slam. And then, through the window, she saw him drive away.
With any luck at all, he’d do as she asked and think about his options. And if her luck held, he would realize that she was dead serious about this easy way out she was giving him. And that would be that. He wouldn’t call, he wouldn’t write.
She would never see Lt. Harlan Jones of the U.S. Navy SEALs again.
The baby kicked her, hard.
5
Cowboy thought Mel was going to faint again, merely at the sight of him.
He opened the screen door, ready to catch her, but Melody stepped out on the porch rather than let him into the house.
“What are you doing here?” She sounded breathless, shocked, as if she’d actually expected him to take her advice and leave town.
He met her eyes squarely, forcing himself to keep breathing as the enormity of what he was about to do seemed to set itself down directly on his chest. “I think you can probably figure it out.”
Melody sat on the edge of one of the plastic lounge chairs that hadn’t yet been moved inside for the coming winter. “Oh, God.”
He’d put on his white dress uniform, hat and all. He’d even shined his shoes for the occasion. This was not your everyday, average social call.
“Sweetie, who’s…?” Brittany’s voice trailed off as she came to look out the screen.
“Good evening, ma’am.” Cowboy was uncertain if the covered porch was considered indoors or out. He took off his hat, deciding that the ceiling above his head had to count for something. And he didn’t want to risk being rude. God knows he was going into this with enough points against him already.
Brittany did a double take. “Are those all medals?” she asked.
“Yes, ma’am.”
Melody wasn’t looking at him. She was staring off into space, across the front yard and down the road that led into town. She looked worn-out and about as unhappy as he’d ever seen her. Even in the Middle East, in the midst of all the danger and death, she hadn’t looked this defeated.
Her sister pushed open the screen door. “God, you’ve got—there must be…how many?”
“Lucky thirteen, ma’am.”
“Thirteen medals. My God.”
She leaned even closer to look and Cowboy cleared his throat. “If you’ll excuse us, Brittany…? You see, I came over here tonight to ask Melody to marry me.”
He managed to get the words out without choking. Dear God, what was he doing here? The answer came swiftly: he was doing the only thing he could do now. He was doing the right thing.
Melody looked up at him, clearly surprised he’d be so forthcoming.
He smiled at her, praying he didn’t look as terrified as he felt. She’d told him back in Pari
s that she couldn’t resist his smile. He held out his hand, too. “What do you say we go for a walk?”
But she didn’t reach for him. In fact, she all but slapped at his hand. “Didn’t you hear anything I said this afternoon?”
It seemed as if over the past seven months, she’d somehow learned to resist him.
“I’ll just go and, um, go.” Brittany faded back into the house.
“You don’t need me.” Cowboy repeated Melody’s words. “You don’t want me. You’ve got it all figured out. You and you alone can give this baby everything he or she needs. Except you’re wrong. Without me, you can’t give this child legitimacy. And you can’t be his father.”
His words came out sounding a whole lot more bitter than he’d intended, and as he watched, her eyes filled with tears.
“I didn’t say those things purposely to hurt you, Jones,” she told him quietly. “I just thought…I wanted to give you a chance to escape. To get away from here free and clear. I wanted to keep you from doing exactly what you’re doing right now. I thought if I could make you see that I truly, honestly don’t need you to support me or the baby—”
“You actually thought I’d just walk away?” Cowboy felt sick to his stomach.
Her tears almost overflowed, but she fiercely blinked them back. “I thought if I could convince you that I’m absolutely not your responsibility—”
“You truly believed I’d just turn around and go back to the Alpha Squad and never even think of you again?” Cowboy sat down heavily in the chair directly across from hers. “Honey, you don’t know me very well.”
Melody leaned forward. “That’s the point. We don’t know each other at all. We were together for…what? Eight days? During which time we actually talked for all of eight hours? That’s not enough to build a relationship on, let alone a marriage!”
Even tired, even with the seriousness of this argument keeping her from smiling, she was lovely.
Tall, Dark and Dangerous Part 1 Page 83