by B. D. Gates
"No, no, no, stay up. Keep breathing," said Tess, positioning herself behind me, keeping me propped upright. I drew in another breath, then had to stop as a white-hot pain shot across my chest, preventing me from inhaling any deeper. I groaned, and Tess wrapped her arms around me as I tried again to roll over onto the pavement, to stop the pain. I began to recall what had happened, how I'd gotten here.
"Did I get him? I got him, didn't I?"
"You got him, Bishop, he's gone." Whyte had walked up on the cluster of us on the ground.
I looked up at him.
And passed out.
63
The next time I opened my eyes, for longer than three or four seconds at a time, was in the hospital Emergency Room. I could recall bits and pieces of the ambulance ride, an oxygen mask over my face, my chest burning as the ambulance bounced over every uneven patch in the road receding out the back window, the siren wailing in my ears. Tess and Penny sitting on the bench next to the stretcher.
I looked around. Tess was still next to me, hadn't left my side. So was Penny. So was a nurse, who was putting something into the IV in my arm. She slowly pushed the plunger on the syringe at intervals, after opening the IV to run faster. I could feel the coolness of the solution traveling up my arm. Tess had her hand on my shoulder. Patted me as the nurse pulled the syringe out of the line.
I started to feel really warm. Cottony.
The nurse was kinda cute.
"Hi," I said to her, smiling.
"Hi," she smiled back. "Well, that was fast. You're already feeling better."
"Yeah I am..." I was still smiling at the nurse.
Penny leaned over, caught my eye.
"Seriously?" she asked.
"What?" I was still smiling, but now it felt a little goofy, like my mouth wasn't working right.
"What was that?" I asked.
"Just a little pain medicine," answered the nurse, whose name was 'Joy' according to her name tag.
I giggled, a little more than I'd intended. "Joy Juice."
She laughed. Tess just shook her head, rolled her eyes.
The next time I woke up, I was in a hospital bed, still hooked to the IV. Penny was sitting in the chair next to me. I stirred a little, changed my position. I had a dull ache in my chest that got sharply worse when I took a deep breath. I must have groaned.
Penny was up and at my side in an instant.
"Bax, you okay? Do you need the nurse?"
I shook my head. Not yet. I needed to be awake for a while, get my bearings. I took her hand.
"Penny, are you okay?" I asked softly.
"Yes, Baxter, I'm fine. Well, I had a little headache, but it's gone now. Baxter, do you remember what you said?"
I nodded.
"Did you mean it?"
I patted the space next to me, invited her to sit. I scooted over, best I could, and she eased up next to me, leaned against my shoulder as we shared the bed.
"I remember, and god, no, Penny, I did not mean it. Not one single, sorry, hateful word of it."
"Baxter, I was so scared. Then, when you started saying those things, I got so mad!"
"That's what I was hoping for."
"You planned it."
"Well, no, it just kinda came to me. You did exactly what I needed you to do. You got clear of Krieger so that I could take my shot."
"Baxter, Tess said that you're really a cop. Really?"
"Really."
"Why didn't you tell me? About this, any of this. Didn't you think that you could trust me?"
I had to think a minute. Gather my thoughts.
"It wasn't that, Penny. I am...was a cop, but I wasn't sure I should think of myself as one any more. It's hard to explain, but I really wanted to be 'Lisa Baxter' because her life, well, her life was so much better than mine, I mean...better than Bishop's. And I thought that telling you about 'Bishop' would have kept me from being able to do that. Does that make sense?"
Penny pondered that then nodded her head. "Yeah, Bax, in a weird sort of way, it does."
"I'm so sorry, Penny, for all of it. Do you forgive me?"
Penny leaned over, kissed my cheek. She was quiet. "Baxter, what you said really hurt, I mean, I know, now, why you did it, but I still hear you saying those things, it still hurts. So, I do forgive you, but it might take a while to 'get over it.'"
"Penny, I understand, and I'm...really...I'm so sorry. Whenever you think about what I said, just remember that those words were all...lies, and god, I know that's ridiculous when you think about that, because I said that I'd been lying all along, but I wasn't, I hadn't. Been lying."
Penny nodded, sighed. "Can I ask you something?"
"Sure."
"Well, who do you want to be now? Baxter? Or Bishop?"
Huh. Well. "I don't know. I guess that's something I need to think about."
Penny nodded at my answer. "Can I ask you one more thing? You don't have to answer."
"Okay."
"Did you sleep with Tess?"
64
Penny spent that night in the hospital with me, making sure I didn't wake up alone. Tess and the boys were cleaning up my mess, assisting at the crime scene, and taking care of the paperwork, including the arrest of Krieger's cohort, captured in the hangar during the shooting. Tess also spent a considerable amount of time smoothing over the outrage their Captain had for me.
They did a good job all the way around.
The Captain, Tess, and the investigating officer for the Whitmore PD congregated in my room the next morning to take my statement. Tess, Whyte, and Fowler had testified that it was a 'righteous shoot', especially since there was a hostage involved, and that Krieger had fired first. The Captain was initially cold and distant, but after I made my statement, filling in all the information starting with the business in Baltimore, he warmed, though only slightly. The Tenley PD declined to arrest me for the theft of Tess' vehicle, and the Whitmore PD, after what, according to Tess, seemed to be a great deal of consideration, cleared me of any possible charges later that afternoon.
That evening, Dr. Biggs, Carole, and a few members of the Pride came by after the game against the Whitmore Wheelers, played in Whitmore. Biggs delivered a ball autographed with 'get well' wishes from the team, and a small plant. She and Carole seemed a little surprised to see both Tess and Penny in the room with me when they got there. They exchanged looks.
"You look good, Baxter," Dr. Biggs said, smiling, a little relieved. "When I heard you'd been shot...". Her smile fell away.
"Aw, I'm good, Coach," I said, "just a couple bruised ribs is all. I'll be swinging a bat in a couple of weeks."
She smiled, shook her head.
"Baxter, you can't lie to me, they're fractured, and you're out for the rest of the season."
"Damn," I said. "Who told?" I asked, looking at Tess and Penny. Neither one could look me in the eye. I laughed, then yelped as a twinge shot through my chest. Penny smirked, shook her head.
"Well, Baxter, we're going to clear out, let you get some rest. You seem to be in good hands," Dr. Biggs was back in charge. The team and Carole filed out, waving, saying their goodbyes. Dr. Biggs stayed behind, putting up a finger to Carole to let her know she'd be a minute.
"Tess has told me your story, the real story. So, Baxter. Bishop. Whatever you choose, just know that you do have a choice. I'm keeping your position open for you if you'd like to come back to the hospital. You've been a very good employee, a very good friend, and I would welcome you back with open arms, when you're ready. Just give me a call."
I honestly got a little tearful when I heard that. I smiled. "Thank you, Dr. Biggs."
"I mean it. You're welcome." She patted my arm, smiled. "Have a good night."
I nodded. Gave a little wave as she walked out the door.
"Well," said Penny, "I'm going to head home and let Tess take the night shift." She gathered up her phone and bag. Tess turned away, looked out the window, her back to us. Penny walked over to the bed and
I leaned down, kissed her 'goodnight.' She smiled, kissed me again, and left the room.
Leaving Tess and me.
65
Tess stood, still looking out the window, her arms folded around her waist, after Penny left.
"What are you so intent on watching?" I asked.
Tess turned and looked at me, her eyes glistening.
"Come here, please," I said.
She walked over to the bedside, stood next to me, looking everywhere but at me.
"Tess..." I softly spoke her name, moved over, making room on the bed for her. She sat down, facing me.
"Bishop, this is the first time I've been alone with you since I watched you...get...shot." She paused as she swallowed. "I guess I've been holding it in all this time." Her eyes had welled up with tears.
I leaned up, took her in my arms, and pulled her close.
"Tess, I hate that you had to see that." I softly rubbed her back, her arms, as she leaned into my shoulder.
She was whispering. "Bishop, I thought...I thought you were...I thought I'd watched you die. And there was nothing I could do."
I let her talk.
"I had Krieger's accomplice at gunpoint, Fowler was backing me up. Whyte wanted to take a shot at Krieger, but he couldn't without possibly hitting Penny. And...all I could do...was...watch. When Penny smacked him in the face, I thought that would be it, that Whyte could move on in, but then, oh my god, it happened so fast, him aiming the gun at Penny, then you calling him off, and he just pointed at you, and I...I can still hear the gunshots, I still see you going backwards, the bullets knocked you off your feet, and...I really...thought that...you were dead. That you were...just...gone. In that instant." She burst into tears.
One of the nurses heard her crying, peeked in at us. I looked up, nodded, waved her off. She pulled the door closed behind her.
As Tess cried, she wrapped her arms around me, held me close, her face buried against the crook of my neck. I held her in turn, and I felt her giving in, letting out a pain so deep I was more than sure that her tears weren't just for me. I will never be certain, because I never asked, but I think that maybe, and for the first time ever, Tess was crying for her father. For herself.
When she was done, she laid her head against my shoulder.
"I love you, Bishop."
"I love you, Tess."
"Please don't ever do anything like that again, please don't."
I nodded.
66
I was discharged the next day, and Tess drove me to the carriage house. We were sitting together on the steps, watching my girls play, Smokey sitting on the rail above us, having allowed Tess to scratch his neck for nearly ten full seconds. Once again, the sky was a beautiful blue.
"So, Bishop, what are you going to do now?" Tess asked.
"What do you mean?"
"I guess I'm wondering if you're going back to Baltimore, back to your 'real' life, or if you're going to stay in Tenley."
I thought about that.
"Well, Tess, I think that after the conversation we had at your house, you know what I'm going to do."
"So, you're staying in Tenley?"
I firmly decided, without a doubt, in that second. "Yeah, I am."
Tess gave a single nod. She had an odd look on her face.
She reached over, took my hand. "Bishop," she sighed. "I'm leaving."
Tess explained that in the time that we were apart, she had felt lost and unhappy, that she'd had no control over her life. So, the day following our breakfast in the vet hospital, finally knowing where we stood, she had begun making phone calls, sending out resumes, listing her house with a realtor. She'd been offered a Detective position in the Richmond PD, had driven over to see the city and do some house-hunting, deciding, on her way back to Tenley, to take the position. She'd called and formally accepted it before all hell had broken loose here, before she'd taken me into hiding at her house.
"You were leaving Tenley, Bishop, there was no need to tell you. I know you heard me crying that night, in the kitchen. I was crying for you, because you were happy here, with your job, with Penny, with your life, and you were going to have to leave it all behind. I felt so sad for you, and there was nothing I could do to fix it. When you told me that you loved me, I thought I'd never see you again, and I wanted you to know that I will always love you, too, that you could take my love with you. So that you'd remember us, Bishop, for those times when you were alone."
So, we really had been saying goodbye that night.
"Oh, Tess," I said. I felt sick. I tried not to show it. "And now?"
"Oh, god, I love you, Bishop, I do, with all my heart, but I...need to go. I have to see what the rest of the world is like. I've never lived anywhere but here and I want to know. It's time I left, I should have gone years ago."
"I'll go with you."
"Bishop."
"I know."
"Now, listen to me. Penny loves you, I can tell. We talked quite a bit while you were asleep. She's a very smart girl, funny, and you love her, too, I saw it that morning I brought you breakfast."
I nodded. I do love Penny.
"I told her I'm leaving. She seemed relieved. I suspect she knows we've slept together, and I wanted her to know that I was not going to be interfering with your relationship."
I recalled Penny's question that night in the hospital. I hadn't answered, an answer in itself. She didn't seem surprised, but I knew I'd hurt her again. She was subdued until the following morning, when she had regained a good bit of her usual outgoing manner. I'd assumed she had just let it go, but it was because she'd learned that Tess was leaving.
"So, when do you go?"
"Tomorrow."
"Tess! No!"
"I'm sorry, Bishop."
"There's hardly any time left."
"Bishop." Tess felt my distress and placed her other hand over our clasped hands, gripping them tightly. "If Krieger hadn't come looking for you, you'd have never known I was gone."
I shook my head. "I'd have felt it, Tess, I'd have known."
She didn't seem surprised to hear that, and didn't disagree.
66
We spent that night together at the carriage house, just holding each other, kissing on occasion, because my fractured ribs kept me from engaging in anything more physical. I had gotten really uncomfortable at about ten o'clock that evening, and Tess insisted that I take a pain pill. We moved from the couch to the bedroom, settled in for the night.
Tess was wrapped around me as I drifted off under the effects of the narcotic.
I woke up the next morning alone in the bed.
I walked through the house, hoping I'd find her in the kitchen, but she was gone, leaving a note propped on the coffee pot.
My Dear, Sweet Bishop,
No words exist that could ever convey how very much you mean to me, the true depth of my love for you. Please promise me that you will stay safe, that you will not go charging into anything that could take you from this Life because, even though I am not here with you, I cannot imagine having to live in this world without you in it.
You will always, always have my heart.
Tess
I read it. Read it again. I had once been accused of being 'heartless,' and I'd believed it at the time, but now I knew that it wasn't true. Couldn't be. The tears were flowing, hard and fast, when my phone chimed.
I answered it. "Tess?"
"No, honey, this is Penny."
"Penny, oh god, I'm sorry. I...I just woke up, Tess is gone, I thought maybe..."
"It's okay, I know, she called, told me she'd left you asleep, she didn't want you to be alone. I'm outside, can I come in?"
These women...
"Yeah. Yeah, sure."
I washed my face in the sink, was drying off when Penny joined me in the kitchen. She hugged me, lightly, gave me a kiss.
"How're your ribs? Any pain this morning?"
I shook my head. My chest hurt, but it wasn't from the rib fractures.
Penny ran her hand through my hair, softly caressed my face as she looked into my eyes. "Want some coffee? You hungry?"
"Coffee would be good," I answered, looking down into her eyes as she tried to gauge my sadness. In my arms was the woman who had picked me up when I was busted and on my knees, had opened her heart to me, had very nearly been killed because of me. I gave her a soft smile and a small kiss as I held her against me. "I'm so sorry, Penny," I whispered. "I'm so sorry. Thank you, for everything."
"Well, Bax...I love you."
I looked down at her, surprised. It was the first time she'd ever said those words to me face-to-face.
"What?" She smiled shyly as she looked up at me, her smile disappearing as she took on a questioning look. "Wait, it is 'Baxter,' isn't it? Or is it 'Bishop?'"
I smiled. "Penny, I love you, too. And, it's Baxter...just Baxter. Nothing more.”
EPILOGUE
It was not a hard decision to continue working for Dr. Biggs, and I called her that Monday to let her know I would be back when Dr. Elohim released me. She was delighted with the news and was happy to have me "back in the fold."
Maggie and Jared asked me to stay in the carriage house, Maggie offering it for a ridiculously low monthly rent, and refusing to take any more, hard as I insisted. They enjoyed watching the dogs play and it gave them an excuse (as if they needed one) to continue living in the main house together.
The Pride won the Championship and I was ecstatic for Coach. She and Carole are role models for me and a lot of the other girls, showing us all what being a couple is really about. Penny and I are both proud to be members of their 'pride.'
I bought the Jeep from the Tenley Police Department, for five hundred dollars, using part of the reward money given me by the Jeffersons. It continues to run 'like new.'
Stacey, the Pride's pitcher, was finally able to introduce me to her brother-in-law, Charlie. He's a 'junk' dealer. He drives a truck like the one that had stopped when I was picking up Miz Dottie off the street. And he must have been the 'runt' of that family, he wears what looks like a size 13 boot. Well, there was something about him that just seemed a little suspicious--call it intuition, or you can even call it "I just didn't like him," to be honest, but I did a little investigating, had a look at his store, and watched some after-hours activity that looked a little odd, so I'm taking Penny and her camera on a stake-out of his building when she gets home tonight.