Behind the Lens

by Heather Dahlgren

  “Holy shit, I didn’t even notice it was missing yet. I was so tired last night I just passed out after my shower. I’ve been busy all morning and didn’t even look for it. Fuck, thank you so much for finding it and bringing it to me.” I grab it from him and hold it to my chest. I’d be lost without my cell phone. All my contacts are on there; he’s literally saved my life.

  “You’re welcome. I would have brought it last night, but I figured you probably fell asleep. I know you’ve got plans today. I’ll let you get to it.” He turns to leave, and I feel awful he came out here just for that.

  “Jax, please let me make you breakfast if you haven’t eaten yet. It’s the least I can do. You have no idea how important my phone is to me, to my business. Everything is on here.” He turns and smiles.

  “I appreciate the offer, but I’ve got Blake waiting for me in the car. I actually have plans with my brother too.” I smile. I don’t know why, but it makes me happy that he hangs out with his brother as well. I wonder if they are as close as Braden and I are? “How about a rain check?”

  “Definitely. Thank you again, Jax. Have a good day.” He winks at me and grins.

  “You too, Kallie.” Just as I’m closing the door, it hits me. I swing it open and run into the hallway.

  “Jax, wait.” He stops walking and turns around. I walk down to him and smile. “How did you know where I lived?” He gives me a huge smile.

  “I followed you home last night.” I immediately stop smiling. He, however, bursts out laughing.

  “Oh my God, I’m just kidding, but holy shit, you should have seen your face.” He laughs again and shakes his head. “I called Max and asked him.” I close my eyes and shake my head.

  “Asshole.” We both laugh, and he winks again as he turns to walk away.

  “I’ll call you, Kallie,” he tosses over his shoulder as he pushes open the door to the steps instead of waiting for the elevator. I shake my head again and walk back to my apartment.

  The rest of the day is perfect. Braden comes over with his family, and I do an updated family picture for them. Of course, I promised Dawn I would do a photo shoot with her and I did. She had the best time, and of course, so did I. I adore taking pictures of her; she makes me laugh the whole time. They stayed and we had pizza for dinner, but once Tiffany started cranking, it was time for them to call it a night. Since they left, I have been in my office loading the rest of my photos from the shoot yesterday. I have to say, they are fucking amazing. They are looking even better than I thought they would. I can’t wait to edit them. I think this is going to be the final step in becoming one of the top photographers, or at least I fucking hope so. My cell phone chirps next to me and I pick it up.

  Jax: Just wanted to make sure you still had your phone. ;)

  I burst out laughing. What a shit.

  Me: Thankfully I haven’t lost it again. Although I haven’t left the house so there is that.

  I continue to laugh as I put my phone down. I take out the memory card that is finished and put in the final one. As I hit enter to load the pictures, my cell phone rings. I pick it up and smile when I see Jax’s name. “What, you don’t believe me when I say I didn’t lose it again?” He laughs on the other end, and I decide to take a break from the computer and head to the living room.

  “I believed you. I was calling about my rain check.” I laugh again as I sit on the couch, pulling my legs up and wrapping my arm around them.

  “What about your rain check?” I hear him flick a lighter and know he is smoking a cigarette.

  “Well, you owe me breakfast, but considering I work all week, I figured we could do dinner instead. You don’t even have to cook it. We can go out.” My happy mood takes a nosedive. He just doesn’t get it.

  “Listen, Jax. I hope I didn’t give you the wrong impression here. I don’t date models, and I don’t sleep with models. It is something I will never do. My career is much too important.” He is quiet for a minute, and I think I may have offended him.

  “Kallie, you didn’t give me the wrong impression. You said you don’t date models or sleep with models, but can’t you be friends with them? I’m not looking to get in your pants. I’ll be honest here, I like you, and I’d like to be a friend. Nothing more. Is that something you are willing to do?” I’m such a fucking idiot. Of course, this God of men isn’t interested in me. He can have anyone, literally anyone, he wants. I want to smack myself for thinking so highly of myself.

  “I’m sorry, Jax. Yes, I am more than happy to be friends. How about I make you dinner Wednesday night? What time do you work until?” I have my eyes closed with my head back on the couch, feeling like a complete asshole for over-thinking this. I never did with Max, and we’ve been friends for a while now.

  “Wednesday is fine. I work until five o’clock, so what time would you be ready for me?” I think quickly about what I have planned for Wednesday and remember I have a shoot with Brinley. Perfect.

  “I have a shoot with Brinley, but I’ll be done early. How about six o’clock? Also, what do you like?” I laugh lightly thinking I’m making dinner for a guy, and I don’t know anything about him except that he is a sexy model that seems to be really sweet.

  “Sounds good. I’m easy, I like anything.” I think for a minute about what I can make.

  “Well, that’s not much of a help. Do you like eggplant?” He takes a drag of his cigarette before answering.

  “Yes, I told you I’m easy.” I laugh because in my childish brain I keep thinking of him being easy sexually. “Get your mind out of the gutter, woman, I’m not talking about sex.” This, of course, makes me laugh even harder.

  “I’m sorry. I have such childish thoughts.” He laughs and I smile.

  “Well, so do I. Obviously, we will have a lot of laughs together. As much as I’d love to get to know more about you tonight, I really need to get to bed since I have to be at work at five tomorrow.”

  “That is fucking horrible. Much too early for me. Alright, so I guess I will see you Wednesday.” I go into the kitchen to get a glass of soda and smile when I see the picture Dawn colored for me on my fridge.

  “It is early, but I’m used to it. Yes, you will see me Wednesday. Good night, Kallie.”

  “Good night, Jax.” I hang up and lean against the counter, sipping my soda. I think this might be the start to a great friendship.

  I am setting up my studio for Brinley, excited for her shoot today. We are doing a boudoir shoot, which is always fun and sexy. I have everything ready and decide to make a quick sandwich before she gets here. I make my turkey sandwich and sit on the couch to eat. I flip through the TV channels, find Pitch Perfect on, and get all excited. I love this movie. I laugh watching it and finish off my lunch. As I put my plate in the sink, Brinley walks in. “Hey, Kall.” We hug and head over to the couch.

  “I know we talked about it a little, but I figured we should just go over a few things. Obviously, we’ve done these quite a few times, but I think we need something different. I’m just not sure what yet. Maybe we could do a few shots on that white fur carpet I got, what do you think?

  “Kallie, I think you know exactly what you are doing, and you don’t need me to approve it. Now let’s do this because I’ve got dinner plans.” We get up and I laugh.

  “I’ve got dinner plans too, bitch.” She stops short and spins around, putting her hands on her hips.

  “With who?” I tap the corner of my mouth with my finger like I’m thinking. “Don’t be a bitch.” I laugh and head toward the studio.

  “I’m making dinner for Jax.” She grabs my arm and stops me.

  “What the fuck do you mean?” I pull in my eyebrows in confusion.

  “What’s that supposed to mean?” She shakes her head and gives me a disappointed look.

  “Listen, you know I’m all for you getting out there and dating, but do you really think screwing around with a model is a good idea? I mean, you are the one always saying how important it is not to do that. And Jax?
Damn, Kallie, he is one of the biggest models out there.” I’m pissed, beyond pissed, at her assuming I’m screwing him just because I’m making him dinner.

  “First of all, fuck you. You must not know me at all if you think for one second that I would break the most important rule, the rule I live by, run my business by. Second, I’m making him dinner because I left my phone on the beach, he found it, and returned it to me. It’s my way of thanking him. Third, it’s as friends, Brin, friends. Nothing more.” I head into the studio wanting to get the shoot over with now because I’m so pissed she would think so little of me.

  “Kallie, I’m sorry. Don’t be mad, but what the hell did you expect me to think? You said you had dinner plans. You want to know my dinner plans? I’m having dinner with Blake, and do you know what dessert will be? Me.” I face her as I put my camera strap around my neck.

  “Brinley, you and I are nothing alike when it comes to men. You don’t care if you fuck up potential modeling jobs or your career. Me, I won’t do anything to ever fuck it up.” I know that was mean, but I’m pissed. Not to mention, I’ve told her so many fucking times not to sleep around with models, but she just won’t listen to me.

  “I don’t want to fuck up my modeling career, but I can’t help who I’m attracted to.” We need to drop it and move on because this is an argument that is never ending. She’ll never see what she’s doing is potentially disastrous, and I’ll never understand it.

  “Let’s just do the shoot. We both have plans we need to get to. Go change into your first outfit, and we will start on the bed.” She doesn’t say another word, just carries her bag into the bathroom, and closes the door. I blow out a breath hating the fact that we are starting this shoot pissed at each other. I go over to the lights, turn them on, and take a few shots to see how the lighting looks. I move them around until I’m happy with it, and that’s when Brinley comes out of the bathroom. I smile when I see her. She looks sexy as hell. She has on a black teddy with garter straps hooked onto her nude-colored stockings. She has on bright red fuck me heels, which bring out her red lipstick. “I’m sorry, Brin, I don’t want to fight with you.” She hugs me and whispers she is sorry in my ear. “Now get that sexy ass on the bed.”

  The next few hours produce some of the sexiest photos of Brinley I’ve ever taken. The ones on the fur carpet are ridiculously hot. I need to do a couples shoot with her soon. I told her that when she finished dressing, and as always, she said just let her know. “Hey before I leave, you never told me how the photos from this weekend came out?” I smile as I hand her a bottle of water.

  “Holy shit, they are stunning. I’m going to post a few on my website this weekend. Seriously, they came out better than I ever imagined. I can’t wait for everyone to see them.” She guzzles down her water and throws the bottle away.

  “I knew they would be amazing. You don’t give yourself enough credit for how talented you are. I’m out of here, girl, I’ve got a date to get ready for. I’ll be good, I promise.” I roll my eyes and she laughs. I let her out and lock the door behind her. Checking the clock, I see I have two hours before Jax gets here. I decide to get the eggplant rollatini ready for dinner.

  It takes me forty-five minutes to make dinner, but at least now, all I need to do is cook it. I stick it in the fridge and head to the shower. I take a quick shower, knowing it will take me a while to do my hair. I decide to wear my favorite jean shorts and a black V-neck T-shirt with my black and pink flip-flops. I head back to the bathroom to blow-dry my hair. Once I finally have it dry, I’m not happy with it straight, so I pull out the curling iron. I throw in a few loose curls and smile at the result. I love the way the dark under my hair looks with the blonde, especially when it has curls mixing it together. I put on my makeup, which doesn’t take long because I’m so used to doing it. It’s routine, eyeliner, eye shadow, mascara, blush, and lip gloss. Once I’m done, I clean up the bathroom and go out to stick the eggplant in the oven. I wipe down the counters before heading into the dining room to put a tablecloth on the table. Once it’s all set with dishes and all, I sit down for a minute. I haven’t sat down since lunch, and my legs are thankful for the rest. No sooner do I put my feet up on the coffee table, and there is a knock on the door. Shit, my stomach tightens as I make my way to the door. Why the hell am I nervous? It’s dinner with a friend, a friend I know nothing about yet, but still a friend. I grab onto the door handle and blow out a breath before opening it.

  There is Jax smiling with a bottle of wine. “Hi, please come in.” He comes in and hands me the wine.

  “Hey. I figured wine was the least I could do considering you are making dinner.” I walk into the kitchen to put the wine on the counter, and he follows me in. I’ll admit it’s a little strange having him here. I feel a bit awkward. “This is a great place, Kallie.” I smile because I love when people talk about my apartment.

  “Thanks. Let me show you around.” I show him the entire apartment, explaining to him how it looked when I bought it and all the work I did to get it to the way it is now.

  “Damn, this place is amazing. You’ve done a hell of a job.”

  “Thank you. I love it here. It’s so nice to have a studio here. I used to pay a lot renting a place, but it just made sense financially to create it here. Would you like a drink? We still have a little bit until dinner is ready.” He says he’d like a beer if I have one, and thankfully, I do. I give it to him and pour myself a glass of wine.

  “Can I see the studio?” I take a sip of wine and walk out of the kitchen.

  “Yes, of course.” I open the door to the studio and flip on the lights. He walks in past me and looks around.

  “Holy shit. It’s huge. I love how you have it set up.” Once again, I smile with pride. This is my life, and he gets that because it’s part of his too.

  “Thank you.” He walks around touching the bed and the couch and looks in the bathroom. I laugh lightly thinking it looks like he is apartment shopping.

  “I’d love to do a shoot here anytime.”

  “Jax, that would be great. When I get to my calendar, I’ll give you a call, and we can set it up. I’d love to do a shoot with you.” He smiles and sits on the bed.

  “So, Kallie, tell me how you got into photography.” I sip my wine and sit on the bed, pulling my legs up under me.

  “It’s all I’ve ever wanted to do. I’ve been taking pictures since I was a kid. When all my friends were asking for Barbies for their birthday, I was asking for cameras and film. There is just something I love about being able to capture a moment in time. I worked my ass off to get here. I’m living my dream. How about you? How did you get into modeling?” He laughs and takes a sip of his beer.

  “An ex pretty much pushed me into it. Honestly, I didn’t think it would be something I would like, but I was wrong. I love it. I can’t imagine not doing it now. I didn’t work my ass off like you to get here. Honestly, it just happened to land in my lap. Now that I have it though, I’d never give it up.” We are both living our dreams. How fucking amazing is that?

  “I think that’s great. You didn’t even know this would be something you’d love, and yet here you are, one of the top models.” He rolls his eyes and shakes his head.

  “That’s what I hear. Between us, I’m just me. I don’t think of myself that way. I think of myself as a construction worker that works for his brother, lives with his best friend since high school, and loves hanging out with his friends. Don’t get me wrong, I appreciate all the fans and everything they do for me. Shit, if it wasn’t for them, I wouldn’t be modeling. But I’m still me.” Wow, I never thought of it like that. I just assumed most models thrived on the popularity. This makes me so much more comfortable with him, not thinking of him as a model.

  “Well, how about you tell me about you then. What do you do for a living?” He gives me a smile and reaches out to squeeze my knee.

  “My brother, Brody, owns BB Construction. You remind me a lot of him with your career; he lives and dies
by that company. He’s given up a lot to get where he is, as I’m sure you have. Anyway, I pretty much build houses. I do framing, concrete work, even drywall. I’ve been working for him since I graduated high school. I’ll be honest; I was in a bad way back then. I hung out with the wrong crowd, got into drugs, and was on a downward spiral. My parents pretty much turned their backs on me, but Brody never did. He gave me a job and told me if I didn’t straighten up, he’d send my ass to jail. It was not a good time in my life, but I threw myself into work and it worked.” I’m floored. I had no idea he’d been through so much. My heart actually hurts knowing he went through that.

  “Wow, that’s an amazing story. You are one inspiring person. Thank you for telling me that. So I take it you are close to your brother?” He squeezes my knee again, and that’s when I notice he never moved his hand. He’s already told me this is just a friend thing, so I’m not going to make a big deal about it. He is probably just a touchy guy.

  “Yes, Brody and I are very close. What about you? I know you said you were doing a family photo of your brother’s family. Are you close to him?” I nod my head and finish off my wine.

  “Braden is one of my best friends. He’s always supported my dream; he was the one who suggested I photograph people not just objects. He has always given me the little push I needed. He’s married and has two of the most beautiful girls in the world now. I adore my nieces. They are some of my favorite models.” He finishes off his beer and grins at me.

  “I bet they are beautiful if they look anything like their aunt.” I look down at my empty wine glass wishing it were still full. I know he’s not flirting, well, I hope he’s not flirting, but it does make my stomach swim with butterflies. I know I’m not an ugly girl, but when a man this sexy, this unbelievably hot, says you are beautiful, it feels pretty fucking amazing. I look up at him with a shy smile.