Behind the Lens

by Heather Dahlgren

  I turn my head when I hear the studio door slam closed. Shit, she’s really pissed. “Brin, I know she needs you, but fuck, so do I. What the hell am I supposed to do now? I’ve got Jax here and Megan here. I need to get this done today. There is no postponing it.” She looks at me with helpless eyes, and I feel fucking horrible for all this lying. She had better not want to chop my dick off after this is all said and done. “Are you fucking crazy? Are you drunk or high? I’m not a fucking model. I’m a God damn photographer.” Brinley must be talking because Kallie is just shaking her head ‘no.’ “I’ll figure something out. Give your mom a kiss from me.” She hangs up, comes over to the couch, and plops down next to me. She lays her head on my shoulder and sighs. “You know she’s not coming. Now what?” I wrap my arm around her, and we lean back on the couch.

  “Now, you get to make your modeling debut.” She lifts her head and stares at me.

  “You and Brinley are fucking crazy. I’m not doing it. I’m not a model. I’m a photographer. How about Megan? She can do it.” I laugh and rub her shoulder.

  “I don’t think Megan has the kind of look this author is going for.” She puts her head back on my shoulder and sighs.

  “Why is this happening? I wanted this shoot to be perfect, especially with Megan here.” Fucking Sarah, I’m starting to think she really is a bitch. She’s fucking up this whole thing, causing Kallie to be miserable before the party.

  “It will be perfect. Come on, at least it’s me you’ll be shooting with. You know you’ll be in good hands.” I bump her shoulder and she giggles.

  “Oh, fuck me. I don’t want to do this. I’m not comfortable enough with myself to do this.”

  “Kallie, I’ve seen your body. Believe me, you have nothing to worry about. You are sexy, stunning, sensational, seductive—”

  “Alright, alright, shut up. Ugh, fuck.” She stands up and looks at the studio room door, then me, then back again. She blows out a huge breath and straightens her back. “I need to go do my hair and makeup. Please go tell Megan the change in plans.” She goes into the bathroom and closes the door. I smile knowing shortly I’ll be touching her, and there is nothing she can do about it.

  I’m sitting on the bed in my boxers waiting for Kallie to finish explaining everything to Megan. I don’t know who’s more nervous here, Megan or Kallie, but we really need to get started because time is ticking. “Megan, don’t worry so much. Kallie will talk you through everything before you take the photo. Come on, Kallie, get in this bed already.” She looks over at me and I wink. She looks fucking sexy as hell in her satin white robe, and I’m itching to pull it off to see what’s underneath.

  “Megan, we will do a few shots on the bed and a few in the tub. I know what the author is looking for, so don’t worry about that, just take it when I tell you.” She walks over to the bed, and fuck, I can’t take my eyes off her. She unties the robe and lets it pool at her feet. It’s impossible to not get hard. She is wearing a black bra with pink trim, and her panties are, what do they call them, boy shorts. I’ve never been this turned on during a shoot. She clears her throat, and I look up at her face and grin. Yep, I’m caught staring, and I don’t give a shit. “I’m going to sit between your legs.” She blushes a deep red, and I smile, holding my hand out to her.

  “Come on, you’ve got this.” She takes my hand and climbs onto the bed. I spread my legs, and she sits between them. She sucks in a breath and turns her head, looking at me with wide eyes. I lean down to her ear. “I can’t help it, Kallie.” Oh, nothing better than your hard-on poking the woman you are trying to get with in the ass. Well, actually, there is nothing better, but shit, not like this. Damn it, focus. I wrap my arms around her, resting them on her stomach. She puts her shaking hands on top of mine and rests her head back on my chest. “Relax, you can do this. I’m right here with you.” We both let out a breath.

  “Alright, Megan, take a few shots like this.” I look down at her and wish this were for real. That she was really sleeping on my chest.

  “They look great.” We both look at Megan, and I smile because I have no doubt they are amazing. I hear Kallie mumble ‘fuck,’ and she turns around, facing me.

  “I, umm, need to straddle you.” I wink at her and she rolls her eyes. “Asshole.” I laugh and pull her onto my lap. She straddles me and I grip her ass. She tenses up, and yes, it’s completely unprofessional, but I rub her ass with my thumbs, trying to get her to relax. She rests her forehead on mine and holds onto my biceps. “Megan, we are ready when you are.” Megan takes several different angles of the position before telling us she’s done. Kallie looks at me and blushes. I like where this is going. “I need you on top of me this time.” I make her laugh when I flip her over and climb on top of her. “Shit, okay, ummm, pin my hands above my head and look into my eyes.” Fuck, it’s like a damn wet dream. I actually need to adjust my cock, and when I do, I accidently brush against her pussy, her wet pussy. Holy fucking shit, I want to bury my face in her, get her scent on me. Taste, lick, and finger-fuck her until she is screaming my name. Shit, I need to adjust again. This is going to make the rest of the shoot very interesting. “Take the shot, Megan.” As she is shooting, I lean my head down and bite Kallie’s lip. I swear to you, it sounds like she moans.

  “Kallie, fuck,” I whisper in her ear. I let go of her hands and bring them to my chest. Megan is doing a great job of just snapping away, not saying a word. Kallie moves her hands down, resting them on my thighs. I look at her, and she smiles slightly and bites her bottom lip. I cup her tits in my hands, and she throws her head back. Fuck, I need to stop because in about one minute I’m going to fuck her on camera.

  “We are done on the bed.” She looks at me with desire in her eyes, and I want to tell Megan to get the fuck out of here. I know in that moment, she would let me touch and taste every sensitive inch of her body. “We only have a few shots in the tub. Megan, you filled the tub, right?” She smiles and nods her head. “Great, go get two towels for us, please.” She rushes off to the bathroom, and I climb off her.

  “I’ll keep my boxers on in the tub.” She slowly sits up and pulls the sheet up to cover herself. She stares at me with what I can only describe as wonder on her face. I climb off the bed and squat down in front of her, holding onto her thighs. “You alright?” She continues to stare at me but nods her head.

  “Towels.” I stand up, take mine, and hand one to Kallie.

  “You two go get ready. I need a minute.” Megan happily walks off to the bathroom, but I stand there watching Kallie. “Please, Jax. I need a minute.”

  “Kallie, it was never my intention to make you feel uncomfortable. I was into the shoot, and I’m not going to lie, you know I was turned on.” I lean close to her, brushing hair away from her ear and whisper, “I know you were too, and it was fucking hot.” I stand up and walk away into the bathroom.

  I never even put the towel on because I’m not taking anything off, so I just throw it onto the sink. I step into the tub and sit down.

  “It’s fine.” She bites her nails, looking at me and then looking at the door.

  “I think you are supposed to take off the boxers.” I lean back in the tub and rest my arms on the sides.

  “Nope, they are staying on.” She looks at the door again.

  “Are you and Kallie dating?” I raise my eyebrows and look at her. Very unprofessional of her to question me or Kallie.

  “First of all, let me give you some advice that I suggest you take. Never, ever question a model on their personal life. It’s none of your business, and they don’t like that. They will likely not work with you anymore. Second, and I’m only telling you this because I care about what people think of Kallie, not me, no, we are not dating. We are friends.” I’ve never seen someone turn that shade of red before. She covers her face and turns away from me.

  “I’m so sorry. I had no right to ask that. I’m never going to make it in this world. Please don’t tell Shannon or Kallie. I promise you, I’ll ta
ke your advice.” Part of me feels bad, and another part feels like I may have just stopped the start of a seriously damaging rumor.

  “I won’t say anything, but remember what I said.” She nods her head, still not looking at me. The bathroom door finally opens, and Kallie walks in with the towel wrapped around her. She looks at me quickly before stepping over to the tub.

  “Megan, we only need a few here, so let’s get it done.” She drops the towel, and I see her unbelievably perfect tits for the first time. This cool bath does nothing for my now painfully hard cock. She steps in and sits between my legs. She leans back and her bare back rests on my chest. She adjusts the bubbles so nothing is showing and turns her head to look at me. We both grin at each other, and even though it’s not part of the shoot and it isn’t captured on film, it’s a moment I will never forget. “Serious faces.” I nod and move my hands to rest on her thighs. Fuck, her skin is so soft in this water, I can’t help but rub tiny circles. “Megan, take the photo.” She begins shooting while we just stare at each other. After a few shots, Kallie turns her head. “Two more positions and we are done.” She reaches for my hands in the water and pulls them up, placing them on her tits. She doesn’t remove her hands, so our fingers are entwined. Feeling her tits is my undoing. I can’t help but ever so lightly massage them. She throws her head back, and thankfully, Megan doesn’t need to be told what to do. I close my eyes and savor the moment of having this sexy, wet woman in my arms with my hands on her tits.

  “Super hot, guys.” We both snap out of the euphoria we are feeling and look at Megan. Kallie clears her throat and spins around on my lap, straddling me once again. She makes sure her tits are good and pressed up against me, and I move the bubbles around to make sure no nipple is exposed. I reach up, gather her hair in my hand, and gently yank her head back. I hear the camera snapping away, so I lean forward and kiss her neck. I will fuck her in the tub. I need to. I need to relive this moment but with just us. “I’ve got them all. They are stunning. Kallie, I can’t believe you’ve never modeled before, you are a natural.” She crosses her arms, stands up, and climbs out of the tub.

  “Thank you, but this will be the first and last.” Megan hands her a towel, and she covers herself once again. I can’t get out, not just yet. I need to regain control of my dick first. “Megan, I appreciate all your help today. I’ll be sure to tell Shannon how wonderful you were. I’ll walk you out. Jax, you can shower in here if you want. I’m going to shower in my bathroom, then we can leave.” She doesn’t wait for a response. She just leaves and closes the door behind her. I smile and stand up, pulling off my wet boxers and dropping them to the floor.

  I smile through my whole shower knowing that before this night is over, I will have Kallie in my arms. I don’t give a fuck anymore. The game is over and I’m fucking winning.

  AFTER THE SHOOT, I LET Megan out and rush to the shower. Never can I remember being so turned on. Thankfully, no one noticed that before I went into the bathroom, I ran to change my panties. The ones I had on were soaked. Being with Jax like that, even in the studio with Megan taking photos, was one of the most erotic moments of my life. Having him touch me, me straddling him, it felt real, so real. Son of a bitch, it felt amazing too. If we were alone, there is no doubt I would have been begging him to make me come.

  Once I get out of the shower, a cold shower, I take my time doing my hair and makeup. I change my outfit four times, and I sit on my bed once I am all done. I am wasting time, trying to build up my confidence to face him again. After a few minutes of sitting and trying to collect my thoughts, I figure it is probably best to go find him before he comes into my bedroom.

  I walk out into the living room, and he is sitting on the couch looking sexy as sin. In another time, this could have been something amazing, something I would strive to hold on to. I sigh and plaster a smile on my face. “Hey, you almost ready?” He gets up, comes over to me, and smiles.

  “There’s my favorite model.” I shake my head and roll my eyes.

  “Never again. I’m definitely more comfortable behind the lens.” He reaches for my hand, and I should pull it away, I know I should, but lately when he does it, it’s comforting, familiar.

  “You were amazing. Best model I’ve ever worked with.” I pull my hand away and go in search of my phone.

  “Please, stop calling me a model. I’m not. Are you ready? I could use a drink.” He laughs and we head out the door.

  It doesn’t take long before we are pulling up to his house, after a pretty quiet ride. The shoot just keeps playing over and over in my mind. It’s making me question things, and that is something I do not want to do.

  He parks and we get out of the car. “Wow, there are a lot of people here tonight.” He smiles and grabs my hand. We walk up to the door, and he opens it for me, letting me walk in first.

  “Surprise!” What the fuck. I jump back and Jax grabs onto me and laughs. I’m so overwhelmed in this moment. I look around and see Braden, Sarah, and the girls. My mom, Brinley, her mom. Old friends and new friends. I can’t help but cover my face and start to cry. Jax is the first one to wrap his arms around me.

  “What’s wrong?” I laugh through my tears and peek up at him.

  “They are happy tears. Who did all this?” Before he can even answer, my mom is pulling me into her arms.

  “Oh, my baby girl, don’t cry.” I hold on tight to her. “You know your brother and your, well whatever Jax is to you, did an amazing job setting this whole thing up.” I wipe my eyes and pull away from her. I look back over at Jax, and he is talking with a group of people but happens to glance in my direction. We lock eyes, and I smile and mouth ‘thank you.’ He nods and gives me that wink.

  “Brinley, you are such a bitch for making me do what I had to do today.” We are all hanging outside now. The party has been in full swing for almost five hours now. Sarah and the girls left, but Braden stayed behind. He told her that since they are leaving the day after tomorrow, he was going to spend as much time with me as possible. I’m starting to worry about their relationship. I’ve never seen them argue, but that was pretty much all they did tonight. Besides that, I’ve had the greatest time ever. The food was amazing, everyone I love is here, and I’m feeling pretty drunk right about now, which is why I am yelling at Brinley for the shoot.

  “Take it up with the men in your life. They are all incapable of doing shit without a woman.” We both laugh and tap our beers.

  “I’ll take it up with them too. You know I had to be almost completely naked with Jax. Do you have any idea how hard that was for me? Shit, I had to go change my damn panties.” She bursts out laughing, and I join right in with her. “Brin, Brin, holy shit, it was hot. I wanted to fuck him right there. Seriously, I would have.” She chokes on her beer, and I lift my shoulders, taking a sip of mine.

  “Kallie, maybe you should just go for it. I mean, shit, look at everything he’s done for you tonight. He threw you a fucking party, yes with the help of Braden, but still. You are both attracted to each other, why can’t you just let yourself be happy?” I feel a few tears run down my face, and I quickly wipe them away.

  “Brin, it’s so hard. I’ve never felt this way. I’m not just physically attracted to him, no, not anymore. It’s more than that now. I have feelings for him. Do you know how fucked up that is?” I blink back more tears because I can’t believe I just admitted that out loud. I’ve been stuffing it down with everything else about Jax.

  “Oh, Kallie, you are such a damn fool. You are depriving yourself of something great because of a stupid rule. Rules are made to be broken, girlfriend, shit, look at me.” She laughs, but I can’t join in, not this time.

  “I just can’t.” I finish off my beer and toss it into the garbage behind me. “Hey, get me another beer, and let’s go sit by the fire with everyone else.” I need a distraction. I’m having such a great night, I don’t want it to end like this.

  “Fine, keep avoiding things. You’re good for that.” I flip her
off and head over to the fire pit where Jax, Braden, Blake, Brody, and Max are with a few girls that, honestly, I don’t know. I’m not going to lie; when I see one of them sitting on Jax’s lap, the jealousy I feel is real. Good thing I’m drunk and don’t give a shit about what comes out of my mouth.

  “It’s my party, and all you assholes don’t even come get me for the fire. Real fucking nice.” I sit in an empty chair and pull my legs up. “Who the hell is here anyway? I don’t even know these chicks.”

  “Damn, Kallie, had a few too many?” I look over at Braden and smile.

  “My big brother. Thank you for doing this. I’m going to miss you so much.” I feel myself start to tear up but quickly blink them back when the whore sitting on Jax’s lap starts talking.

  “You’re leaving, Braden? That sucks, we were just getting to know you.” I look at her with confusion. She’s sitting on Jax’s lap, but sad my brother is leaving. What the fuck?

  “He’s married, taken.” Brinley hands me my beer and tells me to shut up.

  “Kall, maybe you’ve had enough.” I roll my eyes and take a sip.

  “Braden, please don’t. I was having fun.” Max, Brody, and Blake start talking to me about photography, and that gets my mind off anything else. Max and I start reminiscing about the first time we met, and I just laugh the entire time. Brinley, Braden, and a few of the girls who I now recognize as models from the beach shoot join in the conversation. We are all talking and laughing, and that’s when I realize Jax hasn’t even bothered to say shit to me in hours. What the hell is his problem? I look over, and he’s talking quietly with lap slut. She’s like a fucking lap dog. I turn back to the conversation, but I can’t help but keep looking over at them. Her arms are around his neck, and his hands are resting very high up on her thighs. I mean, what the fuck? I thought he liked me? I guess the hard-on at the shoot today was enough to push him to anyone with a pussy.

  I turn at the sound of laugher and see Braden and this girl talking and laughing. Brinley is shoving her tits in Max’s face, and Blake looks like he might screw this girl right on that bench. Even Brody is kissing a chick. What the fuck is happening? It’s like I’ve stepped into a world of flirting and sex. Yet, here I am sitting solo. “I need to get home. Kallie, happy birthday. I’ll call you tomorrow.” I get up and hug Braden tightly willing him to not go to North Carolina. I can just tell he is as miserable about leaving as I am having him leave. I just know there must be marital problems.