by Cat Hogan
It was only half nine in the morning, and it was Sunday. She knew that Tess’s parents would be up and heading to ten o’clock Mass. They were creatures of habit. She would go over to the house for two o’clock – no point in spoiling the Sunday roast on them. Tess had texted her, and asked her to tell them. She wasn’t up to speaking to anyone just yet. Jen told her she would be in as soon as everything was looked after. Hugh was going to have a sleepover with Danny – that way her parents would be free to go in and chat. Against Andy’s advice, Jen tried to ring Doc. His phone was turned off. She left a message anyway.
It was going to be a long day. Jen closed her eyes and just let it all wash over her. She couldn’t think straight about anything. Each of them was in a private hell, but none more than her. How could she tell the man she loved that she believed his best friend to be a killer? It was all surreal and frankly crazy. She had texted Will early in the morning to see how Danny was – he was fine, and he was safe with Will.
‘I think the best thing for you, Jen, is a couple of hours’ sleep and then we can face everything together. How does that sound to you?’
They had just pulled up to the house.
‘I could do with a nap. I’ll make some tea and bring it up for us – you warm up the bed.’
Andy was in his own room when she got upstairs with the tea. He was sitting on the bed, staring at a photograph.
‘Jen, have you been looking through my things? Specifically my wedding album?’ He held the picture up for her to see. It was a wedding photo.
Her face absolutely burned with shame. He was calling her out on invading his privacy. She couldn’t deny it. The damn picture had obviously fallen out of the album.
There was no getting out of it now. She laid the cups down on the locker and sat beside him on the bed.
‘I’m sorry, Andy.’
‘Why did you nose around in my stuff, Jen?’
‘Your laundry was mixed up with mine, so I came in to leave it on your bed. I saw the box at the side of your locker and I couldn’t help myself. I’m so sorry.’
‘Why didn’t you tell me you had looked at it?’
‘For feck sake, what did you want me to say? Here’s your clean underpants and, by the way, you looked so handsome on your wedding day? I was just curious, you know. I wanted to see what Sharon looked like more than anything.’
‘I would have shown you, you know. All you had to do was ask.’
‘Would that not have been really weird for you, though?’
‘Of course it would have been. No one wants to imagine sitting on a bed with their new girlfriend, showing them pictures of their dead wife.’ He laughed without mirth.
She was caught up on the fact he had used the word ‘girlfriend’ for the first time. Nice one, Jen, he’s talking about his dead wife and you are secretly delighted with your new label. She felt embarrassed.
‘Ah Andy, I can only apologise. It was bad form to do that, but I swear I was here for just a few minutes and then gone again.’
‘It’s OK, Jen. I understand. I guess I would have been curious too. Now get into that bed, and get some rest. In future, if you’re curious, just ask me.’
‘I will.’
They drank their tea and got ready for bed. She set the alarm on her phone before curling up in his arms. It was the first time since she moved in that she had slept in this room. She knew they would tackle what was to come together.
Chapter 24
Jen’s shoes clicked as she walked down the corridor in the hospital, a contrast to the squeaking shoes of the ward assistant power-walking in front of her. It was the usual scene. People talking in hushed tones, a nurse rattling a trolley, curtains pulled around beds and visitors laden down with grapes and flowers.
Reception had informed her of Tess’s ward and room number.
She found her inside the door of the ward, on the left, and luckily she was in the end bed – it afforded a tiny bit of privacy. As well as that, the bed beside hers was empty, giving her some yards’ distance from her neighbour. What was it about hospitals? Jen wondered. People tended to share their life stories with their fellow roommates, and no detail was spared. Tess had company. Another pale-faced inmate in a dressing gown, talking loudly about rectal exams and blood pressure. She had the good grace to excuse herself as Jen made her presence known.
‘How are you today?’ she asked as she laid the bag of clothes she had picked up at Tess’s house at the side of the bed.
‘I’m better today, Jen. I’m sore but I’m OK. I was pretty much out of it all day yesterday after the drugs.’
‘I know. Your parents called me in the evening and I arranged to pick up these things for you. I rang the ward as well and they told me not to come in – you were asleep at that stage.’
‘Thanks for looking after me the other night, Jen. You and Andy were amazing. I was a mess, and Doc was no help.’
Jen studied her friend for a moment. She was doing her usual thing, putting a brave face on it all, but she could see the devastation in her eyes.
‘Has he been in touch, Tess?’
‘Nope.’
What a complete asshole, Jen thought. ‘He hasn’t been in touch with any of us either, and up until an hour ago your parents hadn’t seen or heard from him. Hugh is in great form though – they were up half the night last night watching movies in Dan’s room. Andy has taken them down to the harbour today to fix the boat with him. He can stay as long as he likes with us, Tess. The joys of summer holidays.’
Tess lay back on the pillow and closed her eyes. Jen flicked through a magazine and knew her friend would speak when she was ready.
‘The doctor came round this afternoon to speak to me.’
‘And?’
‘It was a bit more serious than I thought, Jen. I was lucky you found me when you did. It was the beginning of sepsis, caused by a urinary tract infection.’
‘Oh Tess, you poor thing!’
‘I had been feeling like crap for a couple of days, but said nothing. I really wanted to have a nice weekend with Doc so I didn’t complain. It gets worse though.’
‘Tell me, Tess.’
‘The miscarriage was probably caused by the infection and stress … that’s what did the damage.’ Her voice broke and she stared to sob. ‘I didn’t even know a bladder infection could cause a miscarriage!’
‘Tess, honey. It’s not your fault. You poor pet!’
‘Jen, he cheated and stressed me out of my mind … and I can’t help but wonder if the infection was his fault. He was sleeping with someone else so maybe he passed it on to me. I’m going to get tested for STIs – I’ll have to after his bed-hopping! Goodness knows how many people he has slept with.’ She was trying to speak but it all came out in breathless sobs.
Jen cried with her, and didn’t know what to say. She held Tess’s hand and tried to comfort her. What a surreal situation! ‘Oh my God, Tess. That’s horrendous. Maybe you should …’ She thought better about continuing.
‘I’m seeing one tomorrow.’
‘What?’
‘A counsellor – that’s what you were about to say.’
‘Tess, you have so much to deal with right now. A counsellor will help you, and so will we.’
Jen wanted to get into her car, go find Doc and punch him in the face. She felt like doing the same to Scott. He wasn’t responsible for the affair of course, but he was responsible for driving Doc off the rails, plying him with drugs, and bringing that rotten cow to the house for the weekend.
‘Scott came in to see me today.’
‘What did he want? He has a lot to answer for, Tess.’
‘He arrived in with flowers, and to see how I was. He has been trying to locate Doc for the last twenty-four hours – without success, I might add.’
Jen didn’t believe that for a moment. Scott knew damn well where Doc was – they were probably partying together.
‘He’s going to look after the pub while I’m in here. Our
business deal has gone ahead and the work is starting at the end of August, when the kids go back to school.’
‘Are you sure that’s wise, Tess? I mean, you don’t really know him at the end of the day, and how much do you really trust him?’
‘Funny, he said you might say that, all right.’ Her voice had gone up a notch, and there was a quality to it Jen didn’t like.
‘Tess, all is not what it seems with Scott. Did he mention anything about Doc working for him?’
‘What are you talking about, Jen? And why are you so down on Scott? He filled me in on quite the story here today.’
Jen knew she was angry now, and there was something really amiss.
‘You knew about the affair, Jen, didn’t you?’
‘I had my suspicions after the party in my house, Tess. But I didn’t know for sure.’
‘Scott seems to think differently.’
‘Scott can feck right off, Tess. He is a bad egg. He was the one that brought Clara there for the weekend, knowing full well Doc was cheating on you with her.’
‘So are you denying you challenged Doc on Friday night about it?’
‘No, I’m not denying it. I challenged him and he told me he was working everything out with you. He had made a promise to you and he wasn’t going to fuck up again. This was all before the Clara one arrived.’
‘I feel so betrayed by you. Jen. You should have told me that night. How can I trust a friend that keeps it all from me?’
‘So you’re telling me, on the strength of a conversation with Scott, that you’re holding me accountable for this? Tess, that’s really fucking unfair. And while we’re on the subject, who do you think is plying Doc with cocaine every weekend? There is something going on there, Tess. Doc is out of control, but it’s since Scott came on the scene. How can you not see that? And how can you be angry with me and not with Scott? He brought her to the house!’
Jen was furious at him. He had twisted the whole story and was implying she was in on it with them. She stood up to leave.
‘Tess, we shouldn’t be having this conversation now. You don’t need to hear all this shit at the moment.’
‘Perhaps if I had heard this ‘shit’ as you call it, sooner, I wouldn’t be in this mess now.’
‘Did Scott tell you what went on after we left the other night?’
‘No, and to be honest I don’t want to know.’
‘Of course he didn’t tell you. He filled your husband up with drink and drugs, and then let him off to follow his fancy woman. Scott knew all about the affair, and was sleeping with her as well. He only brought her to score off Doc. Doc is working for him, Tess, and it’s something to do with drugs. He’s probably blackmailing Doc. Can you not see any of this? Scott is a nutter, Tess. He tried to attack me in my kitchen a couple of weeks ago, and he implied he had something to do with Sharon’s death. He also threatened to cancel Sal’s exhibition in Dublin if I said a word. He was sleeping with Sal as well.’
‘Jen, are you actually listening to yourself here? You are accusing Scott of being a drug-running rapist who killed his best friend’s wife. He’s blackmailing my husband and threatening you? You have one wild imagination. Are you really that obsessed with Andy? Scott is a very successful businessman, Jen, and he has his shit together. Are you so jealous of their friendship you would make up mad stories like that?’
Jen knew Tess wasn’t herself, and was a bit out of it on all the drugs in her system, but her accusations stung. She hadn’t told anyone about what happened in her kitchen until now, and Tess didn’t believe her. He was a snake. He had got to Tess, and twisted everything. In her state she had fallen for it. Sal nearly had too. He was trying to destroy her, and drive a wedge between all of them. Andy was obviously next on his list. Would he poison his brain against her too?
‘Tess, I don’t want to talk about this any more. You need to concentrate on you at the moment, and we need to get you better. We will have this conversation again, but not here, and not now. You have known me a long time, Tess, and you know me well. I’m beyond disgusted you would even say something like that to me, but I’m not going to argue any more. You need to think about this though – every situation has Scott centre-stage.’
Jen looked at Tess, and she could see some of the fight go out of her. She would think about everything that was said, and Jen was sure she would see through his lies. Tess was a very shrewd woman, and as soon as she was feeling better she would see through all this bullshit.
‘Now, I have been down to the pub – the gang are going to shift around the rota between them to cover over the next week. They have called in a couple of extra staff members, and if they are stuck, I told them to ring me – and of course you have just said you have Scott looking after things as well. Your house is still standing, I have fed the cat, there’re bits in the bag for you and Hugh collected his toys. He wants to come in and see you tomorrow if that’s OK.’
‘How is he, Jen?’
Jen sat back down and squeezed her friend’s hand.
‘He’s good, pet. He had a little cry last night, but I told him you had a bad tummy bug and the doctors were giving you medicine to make you better. He asked me about his dad, and I told him he was away working. I couldn’t think of anything else to say.’
Tess started crying again. ‘Whatever about not giving a shit about me, Jen, how could he leave Hugh like that? How could he do it?’
‘I have no idea, Tess. I can’t understand it either. He is struggling for sure. He’ll be back soon enough, he’ll have to.’
‘His phone is still off. I never want to see him again. I hate him. He has humiliated me, cheated on me, and now this. He has betrayed both of us. I’ll never forgive him for that, and that’s why I rang my lawyer this morning. I want to divorce him.’
‘Pet, I know you do and maybe that is the right thing to do, but you need to get yourself well again first. All that will be sorted in time.’
‘Dad wanted to kill him stone dead yesterday. In spite of it all, it was so funny to see him like that. He actually reminded me of Scrappy-Doo. Then Mam was here, shocked at the language coming out of his mouth. Hilarious – you know Dad, he’s so quiet usually.’
It was nice to hear her laugh. The whole situation was rotten, and her life had really changed that night. She was going to need her friends and family around.
‘The bastard also took the car, Jen, as well as about sixty quid out of my purse.’
‘Jesus, Tess, I never thought of the car. I had guessed about the money – I spotted your empty purse yesterday morning. What a complete rotter!’
‘Rotter? Ha, Jen, I love the random shit you come out with when you’re angry.’ Tess was really laughing now. Part humour, part hysteria.
A bell rang in the distance, the signal for the visitors to leave. They ignored it.
‘Tess, please don’t worry about anything while you’re in here. Everything is under control. I have taken a couple of weeks off from work, and Andy is not back out until next week. We’ll hang on to Hugh, until he wants to go back to Nanny and Grandad. The pub will be grand as well – as you said, Scott is there too.’
‘Jen, thanks for everything. We’ll sort out our differences when I get out of this dump, but I would ask you to respect the fact Scott and I are in business together and, for my sake, if you see him around, you need to be polite.’
Jen didn’t answer her. She was still really offended over it all, but today was about Tess and getting her better. She believed Tess’s attitude was all bravado and eventually the facade would fall to the ground. Then the real work would start. Poor Tess, she thought, what a terrible time for her!
‘I’ll get Hugh to give you a call tonight and, as I said, I’ll bring him in tomorrow morning if that suits?’
‘I would love that, Jen. I should be out in three or four days.’ She pointed to the IV in her arm. ‘Antibiotics. I have to finish the course before they’ll let me out.’
‘Look, Tess. You need
to stay here, rest and get better. The hard shit starts when you get out of here and back to some semblance of normality, whatever that is. Try for the few days to just rest. If you need me, day or night, just ring me, OK?’
Tess cried again, and didn’t answer her. A stern-faced nurse appeared at the door, pointing at her watch, and Jen knew no matter what she managed to say in the remaining minutes, it wouldn’t stem the tide of tears. She gave Tess a hug and smoothed down the blankets, pushed the tissues and water glass within reach and made a beeline for the door.
Chapter 25
His head was pounding and he had the shakes, but that was the least of his worries. He tried to sit up in the bed and piece together what had happened. The reality was he didn’t even know what day it was. The room stank of stale drink and cigarettes. What have I done? he asked himself. What have I done? The tears ran down his face and he felt sick with shame. Tess. Tess. Tess.
He was standing in front of the toilet trying to urinate when the contents of his stomach hit the back wall. Here he was, covered in his own vomit and piss, the sum of what his life had become.