by Tina Beckett
What did it matter? She could just stay down here forever.
Except she couldn’t.
As they always did, her lungs sent the first twinges of protest to her brain. Just another few seconds.
She closed her eyes and let herself “be.” Something she could only seem to do in the water. But her lungs’ distress calls had now been taken up by other parts of her body. Time to go. She pushed off the concrete floor and shot toward the light above, breaking the surface and sucking down one huge gulp of air after another, before reaching toward the edge. Instead of a cold tiled surface, she encountered something firm but warm. Curling around her hand.
Blinking the water out of her eyes in a hurry, she glanced up.
“Tucker?” The name rasped across her vocal cords right before shock took control of them and rendered her silent. She wasn’t even sure why she’d asked, other than letting her brain in on what her heart already knew: it was him. It had to be, even if the light behind him cast his face in shadow. That, along with his dark jeans and black shirt, gave him a slightly sinister look. He could be a dark god. Or a fallen angel. She couldn’t quite decide which fit him better.
Neither.
Breathe, Kady, breathe.
She did just that, trying to figure out if she was just imagining it or if Tucker was really crouched by the side of the pool, gripping her hand. His skin was warm. She could just curl into his palm and...
And nothing.
“I was just about to go in after you.”
“You were?”
“You looked pretty lifeless down there. One minute you were swimming like a fish and the next you went into some kind of suspended animation.” His thumb made a slight movement across the back of her hand. Small enough to make her wonder if she’d imagined it. Imaginary or not, it sent raw sensation skittering down her nerve endings, making them scramble to interpret it.
There was nothing to interpret.
She struggled to get her tongue to wrap around the words. “You’ve seen me like that before.” He had. Many times.
He paused, fingers tightening slightly on hers. “Yes. I have.”
Were they talking about the same thing? “Okay, so you know that I’m fine.”
“I do now. You’re a land creature, Kady. You belong up here.”
Next to him? When he looked like that? When just the touch of his hand on hers was making her picture all kinds of crazy scenarios? Like pulling him into the pool and seeing what it started?
There was no way in hell she was going to do that. “What are you doing here, anyway?”
“I lost the slip of paper with your room number on it.” The pad of his thumb shifted again. This time there was no way it was her imagination. Why was he still holding onto her anyway? And why the heck wasn’t she pulling away?
“How did you expect to find me when you came over, then?”
“I hadn’t thought that far ahead.” He smiled. “Want me to help you out?”
She took stock of the situation. Her towel was way over there. And she was dressed in a pretty skimpy bikini. He’d seen her stretch marks and the changes in her abdomen from carrying Grace before. But they’d been married back then. When things between them had been easy and comfortable.
She was no longer comfortable in his presence. She was self-conscious and nervous. And she didn’t like it.
Better to just face it. “Sure. Thanks.”
She gave a quick kick of her legs to help him, and Tucker hauled her up and out of the pool. His eyes skated across her torso, then he dropped her hand as if he’d grabbed the wrong end of a scalpel. Then he swore, his gaze moving up and out—landing on anything except her.
What the...?
When she glanced down, she shrieked. The side strings on her bikini top had come undone, something she would have noticed had she not been so busy trying to figure out if he was stroking her hand. And getting worked up over it.
Well, she wasn’t worked up anymore!
Turning away quickly, thankful now for the fogged-up glass, she yanked the strings behind her back and attempted to tie them. Except she normally turned the top around and tied it in the front before twisting it to the back once more and then knotting the top.
Why couldn’t she have worn a one-piece?
Well, she hadn’t expected Tucker to walk in on her, for one thing.
Why do you care? The man has seen you naked, for heaven’s sake. He’s seen you giving birth. He cut the cord afterward.
But that noise he’d just made hadn’t been an “Oh, big deal” sound.
It had been more like, “Did I just see what I think I saw?” In the old days, she would have thrown him a sexy quip and invited him closer. Much closer. They then would have spent the next couple of hours tangled in a heap, finding the first available surface. The bed. The sofa. The dining-room table.
On the fourth try with the strings she let out an exasperated breath.
“Do you need help?”
“No.” She wasn’t going to admit it, even if she did.
“Here, let me.”
Warm hands brushed her icy ones aside, fingers gliding across her skin. Prickles broke out, rippling across her body and ending at her nipples, which tightened unbearably.
Because this time the slow, soft touches weren’t in her imagination.
Lordy!
She hadn’t invited him to come closer, but he had anyway.
It wasn’t for the same reasons, but her body thought it was. It was busy rolling out the red carpet for the man while he worked on unaware.
As embarrassing and awkward as her reaction to the workings of his fingers was, it was even worse when he suddenly stopped. “I think that’s got it. Do you need it double knotted?”
There was a low roughness to his voice that made her stomach contract. She should tell him, no, that she was fine, that she was done anyway.
“Please.”
Was that her head talking? Or her overly eager libido?
She had no idea, only knew that her eyes slid closed as soon as he touched her again. What he didn’t know wouldn’t hurt him. And, God, she had missed this part of their relationship.
His movements weren’t quite as sure as they’d been a few minutes ago. His palm brushed her back, all five fingers trailing down her spine in a way that was burned into her memory. Then his touch was gone.
Was that an accident? Or was that blast from the past done on purpose?
Accident. It had to be.
Snapping herself back to reality, she made sure her boobs were fully contained before turning to face him—praying her errant nipples weren’t as prominent as they felt. “So why didn’t you just call the hotel and ask them to connect you with my room?”
His gaze was glued to her face as if a single shift might spell disaster. It very well could. For both of them.
“I was right across the street and thought I’d just leave a message at the desk. Then they told me they’d seen you come in here, and I thought I’d tell you in person. I didn’t know you’d be...” He gestured toward the pool.
“What else would I be doing in here?” As soon as the words left her mouth, she knew they were a mistake. They’d had a very sexy encounter one time at a private pool at a cabin they’d rented in the mountains.
She gulped. “What was the message?”
“That the medical students will arrive at around ten this morning.”
“Ten? This morning?” Panic fluttered in her chest. “You just found this out?”
“I did. Phil called, but I wasn’t in a position where I could answer, so he left me a voice mail. I assumed he left you one as well.” His voice tightened. “I just wanted to make sure.”
Tucker hadn’t been able to answer his phone when his boss called? Why not?
It was none of her bu
siness what he did or didn’t do. Except when he barged into where she was swimming and almost gave her a heart attack.
And then made her want him all over again.
At least he didn’t know. Or did he?
“I haven’t checked with the front desk yet, so maybe he did leave a message.”
He glanced at his watch, not quite meeting her eyes. “It doesn’t matter. Since it’s eight thirty, we have time for you to change and get some breakfast, if you haven’t already eaten.”
She hadn’t, but she wasn’t sure she wanted to spend any more time with him than necessary outside the hospital or the conference center. He’d been in close proximity to her for, what? Ten minutes? And those nimble fingers tripping down her spine had set off all kinds of cravings.
A week. It’s only a week. Surely you can contain your impulses for seven measly days.
“Good thing you got the message to me, or I might have had to show up to work in my bikini.”
Yikes. She’d meant it as a joke, but it didn’t sound quite as blasé as she’d hoped it might.
So much for containing her impulses.
“I don’t think Phil would approve of drool-lined hallways. Someone might slip and hurt themselves.”
That made her smile. “I take it you aren’t talking about you?”
He chuckled. “I would be too busy beating them off with a stick to worry about slipping.”
“Would you beat them off?”
He was just kidding. He had to be.
“I wouldn’t have to. Because you are going to change out of that. Otherwise things are liable to get...complicated.”
A shiver went down her spine at the memory of his fingers skipping across her skin.
Complicated?
Hell, they already were. If he touched her again, she’d be the one slipping. As in slipping under his spell all over again. That would be disastrous for everyone.
She did her best to pass it off with a laugh. “Well, I’m all about things staying uncomplicated. So I’ll go up and change. And I’ll take you up on your breakfast offer, if it still stands.”
“It does.”
“Then if I can have fifteen minutes, I’ll be back down in something more suitable for work.”
And more suitable to hold herself in line. Although she wasn’t sure she had anything in her suitcase with the power to do that.
But she was going to have to somehow dredge up a hefty dose of willpower. Before someone slipped and went down, like Tucker said they might.
And that someone was most likely to be her.
CHAPTER THREE
THEY ENDED UP taking breakfast back to Tucker’s office, while he tried to figure out why he’d gone into that pool room. But the windows had been fogged up enough that he hadn’t been able to make out anything inside. He was still shaken by the image of Kady floating in that pool. He’d truly thought something had happened. His heart had galloped in his chest, and he’d just reached for the bottom of his shirt to pull it off when she’d darted full force toward the surface.
That had to be why he’d reacted to her bikini the way he had. Or rather her wardrobe malfunction. Thank God it hadn’t been the upper strings that had come loose. It had been bad enough to get that tantalizing glimpse of the lower curve of her breast. His body had released a sudden rush of endorphins and brought with it a craving for this woman he’d never truly figured out how to suppress and he had no idea why. But he’d better damn well find the page in the instruction manual if he was going to survive this week.
At least now she was dressed in tan slacks and a black scoop-necked top. Very professional. If he’d expected that to be his get-out-of-jail-free card, though, he was sorely mistaken. Because his memory was just fine, thank you very much. And it wasn’t likely to forget that tiny drop of water that had clung to that exposed strip of flesh. He’d wanted to lick it off. To lay her down on that concrete floor and make love to her. The urge had erupted out of nowhere, shocking him with its intensity. Only it wasn’t love.
It was lust. Pure and simple. Their sex life had never lacked for anything.
Until Grace had died. After that he hadn’t been able to...
“How’s your omelet?” Kady’s voice broke through his thoughts.
He forced a brow up as if he hadn’t a care in the world. “It’s hospital food. How do you think it is?”
“My mixed fruit is pretty good.”
“Because it only requires chopping. The fruit does all the work as far as taste goes.”
“Which is why I chose it.”
Although his office was fairly large and comfortable, it felt the size of a cramped work cubicle at the moment. Kady was perched on his leather sofa...the same one he normally stretched out on when he put in long hours, snatching bits of sleep when he could.
He’d put plenty of space between them. At least he’d thought he had. But even though she was on the sofa and he was on a nearby chair, he could still see a tiny vein that pulsed at the base of her throat, could enjoy the way her brows puckered and moved as she talked. The way she moistened her lips when she paused to collect her thoughts.
He recognized it all. Recognized the slight lilt from her Irish roots. Not an accent per se, just a slightly different rise and fall to her voice than most Americans had. A carryover from living with her grandparents.
Forcing a smile, he decided to change the subject. Put it firmly back in the business court. “So, Phil said there are thirteen medical students who’ll be joining us. We’ll head to Maternity and look over the cases down there first, and then head up to the surgical unit.”
“Okay, tell me what I need to do.”
“Well, one of my cases yesterday came about after an ultrasound uncovered a problem with a fetus’s digestive tract, and the patient’s OB/GYN called me. A section of the abdominal wall hadn’t closed properly, allowing the baby’s intestines to slide outside of the body.”
She leaned forward, her interest obvious. “Were you able to close it? How old was the fetus?”
“The mother was thirty-three weeks along and, yes, I was able to close it.” He paused. “That’s where we can help these students see how certain specialties work together. If you’d come across a similar ultrasound, would you have referred the patient to a surgeon?”
“I’d have to look at all the data but, yes, if it was as straightforward as you say, I would have called you in as soon as we spotted it.”
“Good. That’s what Phil was looking for, I think. To show them how cases can flow back and forth between doctors.”
“I see. Is there anything in the maternity department right now that might land in your court?”
He allowed himself to relax slightly. “Nothing at the moment. But we’re going to concentrate on high-risk pregnancies and talk about when surgical intervention is considered and why.”
“That sounds pretty straightforward.”
“It’s actually hard for me to think like a medical student these days. Is it the same for you?”
Kady’s lips twisted to one side for a moment as if she was thinking. “I think so, although I probably haven’t had as much contact with students as you do here in New York.”
“We were so young back then, weren’t we?”
Back when passion had been without thought, and he hadn’t had to worry about whether or not he would ever make love to a woman again. That fear had turned into a self-fulfilling prophecy, which in turn had sparked a vicious cycle. Even the thought of trying caused acid to churn in his stomach and made his heart pound in his chest. He lived in dread of intimate glances or, worse, a candlelit dinner. Those days had been one endless nightmare.
In the end, his problem had been all in his head. The vasectomy had both cured him and doomed him.
“As if you’re ancient now.”
“Sometim
es I feel like it.” And if that wasn’t the truth, he didn’t know what was.
She took a bite of one of the strawberries on her plate and took her time chewing and swallowing before speaking again. “So do I. But I think that’s the long hours talking. This conference is actually like a mini-vacation to me.”
“So I saw.”
Perfect. He was back to the bikini scene. Leave it to his mind to somehow find its way to the very place he didn’t want it to go. And there had been no hint of his body hesitating at what it had seen. It had wanted it. Wanted her. What he wouldn’t have given for that back when they’d been together. But that hadn’t happened. His mind had wanted her, but his body had been too paralyzed by fear to respond to his mental commands. The humiliation had been crushing. Damning.
From all appearances, those days were over.
“Hey, it’s a hotel. I don’t always have access to a pool. I looked up the amenities and came prepared.”
“You always were good at that.”
She smiled. “Not always. That’s how we wound up with Grace.”
His entire body chilled in an instant. Yes. It was how they’d wound up with Grace. He’d often wondered whether, if he could have seen the future, he would have chosen for her not to be born.
His innards wound tight, clenching and releasing. Would he? He couldn’t imagine never seeing that sweet baby’s smile. Never feeling her tiny fingers clamp onto his. And there was his answer. He wouldn’t change it. Even though the agony of those days was still almost impossible to look back on without deep sadness.